Tales of the Scarlet Knight Collection: The Call

by P. T. Dilloway

  The priest gives us a sermon about Jesus being born and what a miracle this was. I try not to scoff or look uncomfortable during this. I want to believe it the way Alejandro believes it. Yet as the priest continues to drone on, I find my eyelids drooping. Before I know it, I’ve fallen asleep.

  I wake up later, blissfully aware of Alejandro carrying me. When I stir, he pats the back of my head. “It’s all right, mademoiselle,” he says. “I was feeling a bit sleepy myself.”

  He sets me gently in the carriage and I yearn for him to kiss my forehead like Aggie does when she tucks me in, but he doesn’t. He kisses her on the cheek instead after helping her up into the carriage. They talk about how wonderful the service was and Aggie tells him that she’s already arranged for them to use the cathedral for their wedding.

  We remain in our church clothes to open the gifts under the tree. Aggie gives me more dresses that I’m sure will have matching bows with them. I didn’t buy her anything, but she gives herself a bonnet and says it’s a gift from me. This warrants another pinch of my cheek. “Thank you so much, dear,” she says.

  “You’re welcome,” I grumble.

  I save Alejandro’s gift for last. I’m surprised he bought me anything at all since we met only yesterday. Untying the box, I try to imagine what he might have gotten me. I can see him watching me, anxiously waiting for me to open it.

  I try to hide my disappointment to find a doll inside. It’s a more expensive doll than any Mama gave me, the doll’s face and hands made of porcelain. The doll has red hair and green eyes, which is probably why Alejandro bought it for me. I hug the doll to my chest and smile at him. “She’s beautiful,” I say. “Thank you.”

  “You’re most welcome, mademoiselle,” he says, rewarding me with a smile.

  The box for Aggie’s gift is much smaller. She opens it up and squeals with delight. She holds up a silver necklace with a heart pendant at the end of the chain. “This is gorgeous,” she gushes.

  “Allow me to put it around your neck,” Alejandro says. She holds back her hair so he can fasten the chain around her neck. The silver heart bobs around her breasts as she turns around to hug Alejandro and kiss him on the cheek.

  “Thank you so much for this.”

  I squeeze my doll tightly, trying to hold back tears. Of course Alejandro doesn’t love me. I’m just a little girl to him, the cute baby sister of his fiancée. She’s the one he loves, not me. She’s the one he’s going to marry, while I’ll have no one.

  I take the first opportunity to excuse myself, carrying the new dresses and doll upstairs. I drop the dresses on the floor and then leap onto the bed. I press my face against the doll, letting its dress absorb my tears at the unfairness of it all.

  Chapter 21

  Since this new year is 1800, Alejandro and Aggie throw a big party on the estate, inviting all of the Devereauxes and some of the new acquaintances she’s made since she started to go to church. That none of the Devereauxes say anything about Aggie suddenly looking forty years younger comes as a bit of a surprise. Maybe she’s used some kind of spell to addle their minds.

  For this party, Aggie even brings in fireworks from China. She has Mr. Devereaux light these off at exactly midnight to celebrate the new year. It’s not officially the end of the wretched 18th Century, but almost. I wish I could be alone, to think about Rachel and Andre and the failed Revolution. So many have died in this century, so many who didn’t need to.

  As the fireworks go off, Alejandro gives Aggie a kiss. It’s the kind of deep, passionate kiss I wish I could share with him, the kind of kiss I used to share with Henri. I turn my head up to watch the fireworks, feigning interest in these like a good little girl.

  Alejandro surprises me with a kiss. It’s on the cheek of course, but this still makes me feel dizzy. The kiss lasts only a few seconds, though it feels like an eternity. “No pretty girl should go without a kiss at midnight,” Alejandro says with a wink.

  He leaves two days later, hoping to reach Italy while the wind is still in his favor. He’ll spend the winter there, returning in the spring to prepare for the wedding. While he’s in Italy, he’ll finalize the sale of his vineyard to his cousin so he can take over our family’s estate once he marries Aggie.

  He gives Aggie another passionate kiss goodbye. I again yearn for such a kiss, or even one on the cheek like at New Year’s. Instead, he breaks my heart by patting my head. “You’ll probably be a woman before I return,” he says with a smile.

  I smile shyly back at him. “I doubt that.”

  Then he’s gone, leaving Aggie and I to face the winter. It’s difficult for both of us, though of course more difficult for me. At breakfast the next morning we have our first argument of that terrible winter.

  “I’ve been asking around. There are some really good boarding schools you could go to once Alejandro and I are married,” Aggie says.

  “Boarding school? But that’s just a lie you told him.”

  “It might be good for you. You could make some new friends and learn more about deportment.”

  “Deportment? If Mama couldn’t teach me that, there’s no chance anyone else will.”

  “Sylvia, be reasonable. Alejandro is going to think you’re at finishing school. Where else do you propose to go?”

  “Why do I have to go anywhere? Why can’t I stay here? You can say I dropped out of stupid finishing school and you’re going to teach me at home.”

  “Sylvia—”

  I leap up from the table. “I understand. You don’t want me around. You want the whole house for you and Alejandro without some stupid little kid bothering you.”

  “That’s not what I said.”

  “That’s what you meant.”

  “I just want what’s best for you.”

  “You’re not my mother! Stop trying to act like it.” I storm up to my room and slam the door. This is just a gesture since Aggie could easily vanish herself into the room. She doesn’t, probably figuring I need a few minutes to gather myself.

  A witch does vanish into the room. Glenda appears at the foot of my bed while I’m crying about how unfair this situation is. “You poor little fool,” she says. “What did you let her do to you?”

  I look up from my moist pillow to glare at her. “I didn’t let her do anything. I volunteered.”

  “You volunteered to let her take your powers from you? Whatever for?”

  “You wouldn’t understand.”

  Glenda sits down on the bed and rubs my back as if she’s my grandmother. “Sylvia, please, I want to understand. What’s going on here?”

  Though I’ll hate myself later, I think to myself that if I tell Glenda what’s happening she’ll put a stop to it. Then Aggie won’t be able to marry Alejandro and I can have him to myself. “Aggie fell in love with a mortal. She’s going to marry him.”

  “Oh, I see.” This isn’t the reaction I hoped for. I wanted Glenda to be furious, to vanish herself into the living room and scream at Aggie, threatening her with severe punishment if she carries this any further. I explain to Glenda about the picture and Alejandro’s sister. She clucks her tongue at this. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could have helped you. Now there’s nothing I can do for you.”

  “I wanted Agnes to be happy.”

  “And now?”

  “I don’t know anymore.” I wipe at my eyes, trying to regain my composure and act like the woman I still am inside. “It’s harder than I thought it would be.”

  “Of course it is, especially at this age and with all of your memories intact. It would have been far easier if she’d wiped your mind.”

  “Then it would be like the first time.”

  “Yes, it would.” She rubs my back again and flashes a nearly toothless grin. “It’ll be all right. Just a few years and then you’ll be a witch again.”

  “Then I can turn myself back?”

  “Once your power is stable. How old are you now: ten?”

  “Twelve.” I put a hand to my cheek
. “Do I really look ten?”

  “You’ve always had a young face, dear. Don’t worry about it.”

  I nod, but I’m thinking that it’s still at least four years. Four years before I can be an adult again on the outside. Will I still be one on the inside? Lying on my bed and crying like this, it’s easy enough to think that I’m regressing inside, as Sophie said would happen to Morgana once she became a baby. “What are you going to do about Agnes?”

  To my dismay, Glenda shakes her head. “Nothing. She’ll receive her punishment soon enough. Both of you will.”

  “I’m already getting mine.”

  “I know, but it’s going to get worse. Much worse.” It didn’t take long for that prophecy to come true.

  ***

  Throughout the winter, Aggie and I continue to quarrel. We finally decide that the fall after the wedding I can go work on the horse farm David started so many years ago. Aggie doesn’t really like this idea—she’d rather have me learning which fork to use at dinner than using a pitchfork to clean the stalls. There’s not much she can really do about it since she isn’t my mother. She isn’t even my legally appointed guardian.

  Despite reaching this compromise, things don’t get much better between us. Aggie tries like my mother to make me into a “proper lady” while I resist her efforts out of spite. I refuse to even braid her hair as I used to do. I suppose that Glenda was right in that Aggie should have wiped my memory so I would forget everything. Then I might be more obedient, though probably not.

  I’m grateful when the snow melts and I’m able to go outside again. I put on my old leggings and tunic. They’re still a little big, but fit well enough. I go out into the forest, taking a scythe with me to clear the paths. It’s much more difficult work with my puny twelve-year-old’s muscles, so after a half hour or so I’m exhausted.

  I sink to the ground, curling up there like an animal to take a nap. I feel Henri’s presence as I always do and wish that stupid war wouldn’t have taken him from me. Then we could have been together, though by now we would long ago have died. If Mama was right, then we could be together in the afterlife forever, along with whatever descendants I gave birth to.

  Instead I’m here, alone and miserable as I have been for the vast majority of the last three hundred years. I eventually fall asleep, dreaming of Henri. In the dream I race out here to the forest, finding him in our special place. I push the brush aside to find him kissing Aggie.

  “But we were supposed to be together!” I wail.

  “I’m sorry,” he says, “but you’re too little.”

  It’s at that moment that I realize I’m not sixteen or even twelve. Instead I’m just three years old, wearing the same frilly white dress as when I first arrived here with Mama and my sisters. They go back to kissing while I continue to cry. I shrink until I’m swimming inside my clothes, screaming wordlessly. Aggie frees me from the dress and I know that like Morgana I’ve become an infant again. She pinches my cheek and says, “Isn’t she cute?”

  I wake up screaming, but it’s only a dream. I’m still twelve, which at the moment is better than being a baby. Henri is long dead and Aggie loves Alejandro Chiostro. I get to my feet and continue working, swiping at the brush with a vengeance as I remember the dream.

  It takes me a week to clear the paths. After that I’m free to roam again. Where Henri and I kissed, I practice the martial arts moves Hisae taught me centuries ago. My body isn’t as quick or as strong as I’d like, but it helps me to stay in shape, so when I’m a grownup again my body will still remember. This also helps to reassure me that I’m not a child yet, at least not inside my mind.

  A few weeks later, I finish a set and collapse onto the grass to rest. Since that first time I haven’t had any more nightmares about Henri and Aggie, though I continue to have similarly themed nightmares. This time I dream I’m walking down the aisle of the cathedral, dressed in a lacy white wedding gown. Alejandro waits at the altar for me. Throughout the ceremony Alejandro and I stare at each other with love. Then comes the moment when we’re supposed to kiss. Alejandro lifts my veil, but instead of kissing my lips, he kisses me chastely on the cheek. He lifts me up and again I’m just a helpless toddler. He still holds me in his arms as Aggie comes forward to kiss him. I’m smothered by their bodies as they seal their union with a kiss.

  I wake up screaming again. Only this time I feel strong, gentle hands on my shoulders. “It’s all right,” Alejandro whispers. I turn to see that it’s really him. He smiles at me and I melt against him, sobbing as he strokes my hair. “You’re safe now.”

  He waits for me to calm down before he asks what I’m doing out here. “I’m just playing,” I say, feeling this is the right twelve-year-old answer.

  “It isn’t safe for you out here in the forest. There are animals—”

  “I’ve been coming out here since I was seven.”

  “Oh, I see. You’re an experienced woodsman then?”

  I know he’s mocking me; little girls aren’t supposed to play in the forest and dress like a boy. “Your sister was worried about you,” he says. “She thought you might have run away.”

  “I fell asleep,” I say dumbly. “I had a bad dream.”

  “Ah, yes. You don’t have to worry about that anymore.” Alejandro takes my hand and I know that he’s right, that I won’t have any more nightmares.

  ***

  The wedding is scheduled for the first day of summer. This Aggie feels is an auspicious date for a marriage. Despite giving lip service to the Christians, Aggie is still a witch and still believes in what others might call superstitions.

  The closer the date gets, the more agitated Aggie becomes. She shouts at the Devereaux women who are helping to prepare the reception. She chides me daily about going out to the forest, wanting me to act like a young lady while Alejandro is here. She even yells at him when he comes to my defense.

  This is so out of character for Aggie that I wonder if someone’s put a curse on her. In the end I decide that it’s just because she wants everything to go perfectly. She wants her marriage to Alejandro to get off to a good start.

  We get into a serious row when Aggie says that I’m to be the flower girl. “What’s that?” I ask her, unfamiliar with Christian weddings.

  “You go down the aisle ahead of us and drop flowers along the way.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “Because it’s tradition for a little girl to do that.” She explains the various roles of the wedding party. The argument begins when she explains about the bridesmaids.

  “I want to be a bridesmaid!”

  “I’m sorry, dear. You’re too young.”

  “I am not!” I stamp my foot and pout to belie this.

  “Sylvia, please, don’t start with me now. The flower girl is a very important job.”

  “Just not as important as the bridesmaids.”

  “Every job is equally important.”

  “No they aren’t. You don’t think I can do it. You think I’m a baby!”

  “Maybe if you didn’t act like a baby I wouldn’t treat you like one!”

  I stomp up to my room and slam the door. When it opens, I assume Aggie has followed me up to continue the argument. “Go away!” I scream through my pillow.

  “Forgive me, mademoiselle,” Alejandro says.

  I look up from the pillow to see him there. He smiles at me and I smile back through my tears. I furiously try to wipe these away so I won’t look like a little girl to him. “I’m sorry about that,” I say. “Agnes and I had a fight.”

  “I heard.” He sits down on the bed and puts a hand on my back as Glenda did. “Your sister is under a great deal of stress right now. She needs our kindness and understanding. There’s so much for her to do and she doesn’t have your mother or father to help her. That means we all have to help however we can, even if that’s taking her abuse.”

  “I hate being so little,” I say before I can stop myself.

  “It won’t be lon
g until you’re a young woman like your sister.”

  “But not as pretty as her, right?”

  “You’re going to be a very pretty young woman.”

  “Not like her. I’ll never be like her.” I turn back to my pillow. “I’ll never be as skinny or as blond as her. And I’ll never be a lady like her.”

  “Perhaps. But that doesn’t mean you still can’t find someone who will love you for who you are.”

  “The only one who ever loved me like that is dead.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. What happened?”

  “He was a soldier. He died.” I’m sure Alejandro is confused by this, but I don’t care. Before long he’ll be married to Aggie and I’ll still be alone. “I tried to save him, but I couldn’t.”

  “That’s terrible, but I’m sure you can find someone else to love you. You’re young; you have your whole life ahead of you yet.”

  “I know.” I let Alejandro think he’s comforted me; I let him think that everything is going to be all right. Inside, I know nothing is ever going to be all right again.

  ***

  I can’t sleep the night before the wedding. Every time I try, I have terrible nightmares like back in the forest. I give up and sneak down to the cellar, where Aggie still keeps her potions. I find an Energy Boost one and drink it down. Looking among the others, I search for one that I could use to make me an adult again or to make Alejandro love me instead of Aggie. There’s nothing.

  I go upstairs, spending the rest of the night fiddling with my hair, finally settling on a modified French braid that doesn’t make me look too childish. When Aggie sees this, she can’t resist the urge to pinch my cheek. “You’re so beautiful!” she gushes. “Can you do something like that with my hair?”

  “I suppose,” I say. I do something similar for her, except that I weave flowers into her hair as well. Aggie pats her head, tears coming to her eyes.

  “It’s beautiful. Thank you so much.” She hugs me, the last hug we share for a long time.