The Cost To Play (Slivers of Love)

by Gaines, Oliva

  Toshi said nothing as he rolled down the window, reached up into the visor and removed a card that slid into the slot opening the gate. Jayne’s jaw dropped. “You live in this complex too?”

  “I do, but I live in building 200. Which building is yours?” He tried to sound casual as he toyed with either his luck, or fate playing a cruel game.

  “I live in the back, in the 800 building,” she told him in a lowered voice. Jayne’s mind was running amok with the probability of all this. Instead of avoiding and fighting Toshi, maybe she needed to find out why they were constantly being brought together.

  “Let’s secure your bike first, put away your items, and we will drive around to my building.”

  Jayne did not allow him to come all the way into her apartment, but only allowed him to place the groceries in the kitchen. She quickly put away what needed refrigeration. The other items, she left in the bag.

  “I’m ready.” She grabbed her keys and followed him down the stairs. The roles were reversed as she watched the back of him walk with such confidence, grace, and almost a quiet stealth. His bearing was almost regal as he descended the stairwell, walking her to her car, and closing her door, before getting into his own.

  Jayne trailed him back to the front of the complex, coming around the side of the structures to building 200. She breathed deeply as she took the second bag from his vehicle and trailed him up the first set of stairs to the back of his building. The keys jangled as he opened the door to permit her entry into his private world.

  “Here, let me take your jacket.” Toshi helped remove her jacket as he locked the door, removed his shoes, and set about prepping dinner. “Excuse me for a second,” he told her as he took off his jacket as well, while walking down the hallway to his bedroom. Jayne craned her neck to the right to see where he had went, silently praying that he did not return wearing just a smoking jacket and a smile. She did as she saw him do and removed her shoes before stepping onto the carpet.

  Then there was the flush of the commode, the start of the faucet, and seconds thereafter, the man himself returned to the kitchen. The look on her face amused him. “You thought I was going to come back out in a smoking jacket and some drawstring pants didn’t you?”

  She chuckled a little. “Yeah. I was worried for a minute there.”

  “I invited you for dinner Jayne,” he told her. He poured a glass of wine for them both and washed the rice for the steamer.

  Jayne, with wine glass in hand, walked around the apartment and was surprised to find that he had three bedrooms. She pointed to the third door, asking his permission. She lost her breath when she saw it was a full studio, with drawing tables, a sewing machine, a serger, and sketches posted to corkboards. She wanted to take out her pencils, sit down, and began to draw a masterpiece. The walls were painted a soft taupe with large cork billboards extending from the ceiling on three of the walls. The fourth wall was a window, which shone light directly onto the artist table.

  She heard the sizzle of meat, the knife striking the cutting board, and water being run over vegetables through a colander. Those sounds she knew well. Toshi remained quiet as she went to the second door, once more checking for his approval before opening it. Inside, she was pleased to see it was a Zen space with nothing more than a slant board, a cd player, and a yoga mat. One wall was painted a soft pink with Japanese cherry blossom appliques on the wall. The third door was his bedroom. A door that was left slightly ajar from when he left the restroom earlier.

  “So, this is the dragon’s lair, where the damsels are all brought to the slaughter,” she said aloud as she peered inside the room.

  “You do have a flair for the dramatic. You know that right?”

  Jayne didn’t quite know why she was surprised when she looked inside the bedroom, but she was. It was so basic. It looked as if he had just moved in. He took minimalism to a new level. The queen size bed had a simple red quilt and two large pillows; one of which looked well used. Jayne figured that was the one he slept on. The night stands held nothing personal, nor the walls. There was no television or family photos. “Toshi, no TV?”

  “The bedroom is for sleeping, making love, and creating life. I watch TV on the couch.”

  Alarms were buzzing in Jayne’s head as she looked about the place. “So, do you do this often? Cook for women?” She stopped herself from saying anything more.

  “Actually, you are only the third woman I have brought here. Fourth if you include my mother.” She watched him dice the eggplant with the skill of a chef.

  Seated at the counter, her eyes ventured to the countertop where he had lined up small bowls in which to serve the dishes he was preparing.

  “Am I the first black woman?” she asked softly, almost speaking the words into the glass.

  “The first one I brought here, yes.” He looked up at her and smiled.

  “I can take that so many ways, Toshi. I mean did you just move in?” She paused. “What are we talking about here…?”

  He saw no need to be dishonest with her today or any other day. “I have lived here for almost two years. To answer the question you are trying to find a way to ask me, I have dated black women.”

  “Oh, I see,” she said as she took plates to the dining table.

  “You see what?” He followed behind her with a serving tray with fresh sliced ginger, two rice bowls, and the serving plate of the salmon and vegetables.

  “So, you have a thing for black women.” She almost said it with disgust.

  He pulled out her chair, helped her be seated, and then laid a cloth napkin across her lap. His fingers gently grazing her arm. “No Jayne. I have a thing for you.”

  He took his seat and saw the wide grin on her face. Jayne had to give it to him. “That was pretty smooth, Toshi.”

  “You think so?” As she nodded, he agreed with her. “Yeah, that one was pretty good.” He laughed a bit, keeping his eyes on her.

  Despite so many misgivings and a really rough start, she liked him. The subtle scent of him in the bedroom was so faint, but potent, that her senses had fired up the moment she saw the indentation in the pillow where his head rested every night. The smell was stronger as he sat closer.

  “Toshi,” she said. Timmy made his presence known, growling loudly. “What are we doing?”

  He pulled the large plate with vegetables between the two of them. “I am having dinner on Christmas Eve with a friend. What are you doing?”

  “Just a friend?”

  Toshi added a little more wine to her glass, then his own. “Jayne, I like you, your spirit, and your energy. If what we have is nothing more than friendship, I can accept that, but it is nice to have a conversation with a woman who understands what I am talking about.”

  “So, what you are saying is that I am safe.” She was eyeing the food.

  “I am not understanding what you mean.” He honestly did not.

  “I mean, if I eat this food and drink this wine, are you going to put on some soft music, a porn tape, and jump me?”

  “Not unless you want me to, Jayne.” He used the back end of his chopsticks to serve her food. “I am a simple man. If I invite you for dinner, we have dinner. If I want you to come over for something more, I will make it clear in the invitation.”

  Jayne would not let it go. It could not be that simple, especially considering their first couple of conversations. If life had taught her anything, it was to not let down your guard. The feeling that was circling the drain of concern, was he was trying a new tactic. She blurted it out with no regard for consequence. “Are you saying, you no longer want to have sex with me?”

  He stopped chewing and swallowed hard, laid down his chopsticks. Jayne shrank back a little. “If you said to me…” he used a girlie voice, “…Toshi, take me right now. I would have to cook you a new dinner.” He watched her face before he delivered the blow. “I would clear this table and you would have rice, eggplant, and steamed veggies all in your hair and ass.” Jayne’s mouth dropped,
as he looked at her with a straight face. “I would go hard too Jayne! I would go hard! I would get all Super Saiyan on you,” he told her as he started making the anime faces, with noises of “grrr, ahhh, ooooh”.

  She could not help it. She burst into laughter. Toshi was laughing as well. A deep belly gut type of laughter, but he paused, becoming serious again before passing her a bowl of rice. “Tonight, I wish nothing more than the pleasure of your company.” To his shock, it was the truth. “However, to answer your question, no. I no longer want to have sex with you.” Her face lost its expression. “I would at some point, relish the moment when I can make love to you.” The idea of getting her into bed tonight had not crossed his mind.

  She was grinning, “That was pretty smooth too. I like that one even more.”

  Toshi watched her relax and changed the subject by telling her, “so in Japanese culture, before a meal you say, itadakimasu, meaning I gratefully receive, before you commence eating.” Jayne repeated after him asking what is said once the meal was complete. “After dinner, to say thank you for the meal, you will say gochisosama.” She repeated after him again. “I would then respond, deshita.”

  She tasted the food. “This is amazing, Toshi.”

  He found himself beaming with pride as she raved over every vegetable cut, the rice, and especially the salmon. There were so many more things he was looking forward to teaching Jayne Wright and in his immediate thoughts, none were related to having her in his bed. It was a weird feeling, but one, Toshi felt that he liked. If it cost a bit more time to earn her trust, then he would gladly pay it, with interest.

  Chapter 9

  Jayne woke up feeling a new energy. Dinner with Toshi had been a pleasant surprise and she had truly enjoyed the evening. After she helped wash the dishes, he made them cups of tea as they discussed some of the drawings in his office on the board. The conversation turned toward different mediums for achieving certain artistic effects with charcoals, colored pencils, and acrylics. As much as she hated to admit, he was correct. It was wonderful talking to someone who understood what you were talking about. What she was reluctant to admit even more, was her attraction to him.

  At 11:45 he walked her downstairs to her car. The fob was used to open the door. She leaned against her vehicle to tell him she had a good time. He leaned down to open the door and she mistook it for him leaning in for a kiss. It was too late to take it back. Their lips connected, but he did not pull away. Instead, he placed his hands on either side of her on the roof of the car, and deepened the kiss. Jayne’s mouth opened as his tongue darted inside to mate with hers. Her hands slipped inside his jacket, as she allowed her nails to graze his back when she grabbed handfuls of his cotton shirt. It had been so long since she felt the weight of a man. She pulled him forward, taking all of his weight onto her body as he pressed her against the car. A slight moan escaped her throat and she felt his growing desire pressed against her belly. His kiss deepened still, until she felt him pulling away. The cool air between them served as a wake up. Under the soft glow of the street light, Toshi saw the raw passion in her eyes and his blood begin to boil.

  A feeble attempt to say her name was halted as his voice came out all raspy. He tried again. “Jayne get in the car.”

  Her fingers touched his chest and trailed down his stomach, feeling the muscles of his abdomen under the shirt. Before her hand could go any lower, he grabbed it, pressing it to her side, placing a softer kiss on her lips. “Get in the car Jayne.” Toshi physically pushed her into the seat and closed the car door. “Text me when you get home.” He remained only long enough to hear her start the engine and put the car into gear.

  The next morning, her mind was full of the thoughts of what if he had taken her by the hand back into his place. She would have made a fool of herself. “Crap, I forgot to text him last night.” Already dressed for church, she looked for her purse. She had forgotten that as well. It must still be at his place.

  Toshi woke up slowly faced with the harsh reality that what he was holding was not Jayne, but a pillow. He kicked himself several times last night for not taking advantage of the circumstance and drug her back into his place to make love to her all night. She had been willing to give him her body, but he wanted something else. The word to define what he wanted could not be formulated, but it was hanging about his frontal lobe. A loud groan rumbled from his groin, up through his gut, to his stomach, and out of his mouth.

  A light tapping was heard at the front door. He jumped up quickly thinking maybe Jayne had come back and was ready to make love this morning. Heaven knows he was. He opened the door to find Kunio, his sister standing there. He groaned again as she entered the apartment.

  “Merry Happy Ho-Ho to you too big brother.” She kicked off her shoes and sat the bags down she had brought over. “I brought you breakfast and came to make sure you are not late for church, again.”

  Toshi peered in the bag, frowning at her selection. He did not like deep fried food, nor was he particularly fond of biscuits. “Toshi, hit the shower. I will make some tea while you get dressed.” She pushed at his shoulders trying to get him moving. “You could at least say good morning to me.”

  He kissed her on the forehead, groaned again, and headed toward the shower. Kunio called after him, “and brush those teeth while you are at it. Smells like you had some bad fish for dinner.”

  She heard the shower start and set about making tea, but was interrupted by a light tap at the door. Uncertain if her brother was expecting anyone, she answered the knocking to find a black woman standing there. Ai had not been lying and Toshi hadn’t said it to piss off their parents. Her brother could actually be dating this woman.

  “I’m sorry. Is Toshi home?” Jayne asked as she eyed the beautiful Japanese woman.

  “Yes, please come in.” Kunio stepped aside to allow Jayne entry into the apartment.

  Jayne wasn’t sure who the woman was and decided to err on the side of caution. “I left my bag here yesterday and just came to get it.”

  The beautiful woman used her right hand as an answer to go ahead and get what she needed. Jayne removed her shoes before stepping onto the carpet. Kunio knew then, she had been here before.

  “I am Kunio,” she said as she watched Jayne’s expressions.

  “I am Jayne. A friend of Toshi’s.” She rounded the corner and found her purse on the couch. “Here it is. I will be on my way.” She thanked the lady and at the same time heard the shower stop. Toshi called out, “Kunio, are you making us some tea?”

  “I am and you have a guest out here,” she yelled back, eyes still fixed on Jayne. Kunio wanted to see the interaction between her brother and this woman.

  Toshi nearly ran from the bedroom, his dress slacks halfway wedged into his underwear, chest still wet as he pulled a wife beater over his head. Jayne lowered her gaze as he straightened his clothing, attempting to sound casual. “I left my bag yesterday with my cell phone in it. Hence, no text message.” She said each section of words slowly hoping it would explain why she had not texted him last night.

  A bevy of emotions flooded through his mind thinking if his sister wasn’t here, they could they pick up where they left off last night. Before he could speak, Kunio broke the staring match between them. “Good grief Toshi! If we are late for church, mom and dad are going to be furious.”

  “Jayne. Do you have a little sister?” he asked as he dashed back into the room to retrieve his shirt and tie. “If not, would you like one?”

  He buttoned his shirt and Jayne, without thinking, stepped forward and began to fix his tie in a Windsor knot. She said in a low voice, “do you have plans for New Year’s Eve?”

  Toshi, adjusted his shirt into his pants. “No. What do you have in mind?”

  “I was thinking, if you came over, I could return the favor and make dinner for you.”

  A faint smile crept into the corners of his mouth. “I would like that. I would like that a lot, Jayne.”

  “Great six o’cloc
k. Bring the champagne,” she said as she adjusted the narrow end of the fabric.

  Kunio strained to hear what was being said, until Jayne suddenly turned, startling her. “A pleasure to meet you Kunio.”

  Toshi needed to make sure last night wasn’t a fluke. He called her name as she reached the door. When Jayne turned, he grabbed a fistful of the front of her coat pulling her to him. He awaited her smile before lowering his head to give her a light kiss. “Thank you.”

  “Dou itashimashite, Toshi.”

  After Jayne left, Toshi sat at the counter attempting to choke down the greasy biscuit with overly salted ham. Kunio wasn’t sure if he was hating it or loving it, because he was doing it all with a weird smile on his face. He had kissed the woman and was now smiling.

  “Why are you staring at me Kunio?”

  “You are smiling,” she said as she poured him more tea.

  “Yeah. What’s the big deal?”

  She poured herself another cup. “I just don’t remember the last time I saw you smile, that’s all.”

  Chapter 10

  Christmas was always a sad time around Jayne’s house. It was her least favorite holiday, followed closely by Valentine’s Day. A celebration that was a waste of marketing revenue. What she did love about the Christmas season was the great sales which took place afterwards. Being employed in the advertising industry, she fully understood that companies had to sell any excess Christmas items before a certain time to avoid paying the extra taxes. Once she hipped her friends to this knowledge, it became their thing after the holiday to spend a day shopping.

  Brionna, Tamika, and RaShunda had been her closest friends since high school. Between the four of them, it was often joked that they could have their own reality show since each of them represented the quintessential definition of the stereotypical black woman. What saddened them all, as the punch line of the joke, was that none had a successful relationship.

  Jayne had a steady boyfriend for about a year, but he attempted several times to control everything she did, wore, and even dreamed. Grandma Pearl told her that most black women often settled for a piece of man, because they were unwilling to wait for the right man. “Sugar Pie,” Grammy told her. “If you are a good woman, you need a good man. Wait for God to send you the right one, instead of going with just anyone.” She followed her advice and let George, her second real boyfriend, go his own way. Of course, her girlfriends didn’t understand how she could let that fine ass brother go, but they didn’t see the real George. They saw the George who drove the Mercedes and wore designer clothes with fancy wrist watches. George also never appealed to her sexually, which is why Alex was the only man she that had been intimately involved. No one ever saw the controlling George who talked to her like she was stupid or the George who made fun of her desire to be a graphic novelist. Brionna often teased her, saying that she had become that sister who didn’t trust men and would rather read about love than try to live it.