The Cost To Play (Slivers of Love)

by Gaines, Oliva

  Grandpa Joe and Grandma Pearl were in the kitchen when they entered. Jayne watched as their eyes took him in. He wore black slacks and black shoes with a cream colored shirt with a coordinating tie. “It is a pleasure to meet you sir,” Toshi told him as he shook Grandpa Joe’s large meaty hand.

  He turned to Grandma Pearl who immediately asked, “Jesus is my redeemer, and all praise to the Almighty. What are you Chile? Shinto? Buddhist? Atheist?”

  “He is mine as well, Mrs. Carter, and we are Methodist.” That took all the guff out of Pearlie’s sails.

  “Well, don’t that beat all, Pearlie Mae! They are Methodist!” Grandpa Joe added as he slapped his knee.

  Grandma Pearl was not to be outdone. “We’re getting ready to eat. You two get into that dining room and get the table set.”

  Toshi seemed unfazed as he followed her around the corner to the formal dining room and nearly tripped over Jayne as she stopped cold in her steps. “Toshi, these are my parents. Malik and Lillie Wright.”

  Chapter 29

  Jayne looked a great deal like her father. She had inherited his light brown eyes and the gap in his teeth. She had her mother’s height and build. Toshi shook both of their hands and watched with interest as Jayne failed to embrace either parent, but continued to set the table as if nothing was amiss. Toshi could feel the tension in the room.

  “Excuse me while I get some water,” Toshi said as he left the room and went back to the kitchen.

  Jayne was furious. “Why are you two here now playing the role of loving and concerned parents? As a matter of fact, why are you two here at all?” The words almost came out in a hiss.

  “We are still your parents and you will act like you have some sense,” Lillie told her in a not too friendly tone.

  Malik took a different approach. “Pearlie Mae said you were serious about this young man and I wanted to meet him.”

  Jayne’s face had crinkled up like an old Shar-Pei. “That makes absolutely no sense at all, considering you have never shown up for anything else in my life!”

  He took a step forward as Jayne took two steps back. “That is not true Jayne.”

  “Sending a monthly check is a means of support, but it doesn’t have the same connotation and real support, Malik.”

  “Jayne, you are being way too fresh mouthed with your father. You’re not supposed to call either of us by our first names. We are not your pals or friends. We are your parents.”

  “No, Joseph and Pearlie Mae are my parents! You are two selfish people who have forsaken your responsibilities as parents! You abandoned me!”

  A large folder sat in the chair that Malik retrieved. He pulled out a picture of Jayne at her kindergarten graduation and showed it to her. “I don’t remember this picture. Where did you get it?”

  “I took it, Jayne,” he told her as he removed from the folder, photo after photo of her from kindergarten, in soccer and volleyball games, gymnastics events, and even a picture of her at the prom. His eyes were teary. “You looked so beautiful on prom night. I could barely take the pictures. My hands were shaking so badly.” Other pictures were of her first car, packing the car for college, and even moving into her apartment. “I tried not to miss anything.”

  “A bunch of pictures don’t mean a damned thing to me, Malik! What, you posing a voyeuristic Father with a camera fetish is supposed to mean something to me?”

  Lillie stepped forward and raised her hand as if she were about to strike Jayne, who turned to look at her with so much hate in her eyes, that Lillie stopped cold. “If you lay one finger on me lady, I will put a bullet in you! I will continue pulling the trigger until I unload the clip into that screwed up head of yours!”

  Jayne’s breathing had become labored as she held her fist to her sides. “We deserve your anger,” Malik said with his shoulders slumped, gathering his cache of photos and putting them back in the folder. “I am here, because I failed you as a father. I failed your mother as a husband, but I have worked hard for 27 years to give you everything you wanted and needed. I even picked out your first car Jayne.” He wiped at his eyes. “I didn’t come back into your life physically because I was afraid I would screw you up too.”

  Today was not the day to resolve any of these issues. “Why are you here now?”

  “I am hoping,” Malik said. “As you start this new phase of your life, that I can be a part of it. And maybe when the time comes, be a part of my grandchildren’s life.”

  “Are you saying that I have no brothers and sisters out there, among your many love interests and afternoon humps,” Jayne added with venom.

  Malik closed the folder, tucking it under his arm. “You are my only child Jayne. You are the one thing that keeps me going each day.”

  Jayne looked to Lillie who was sitting in the chair with her head down. “And what sorry excuse do you have Lillie?”

  Chin stuck in the air, eyes full of resolve, “I have no excuses and I am not going to explain myself you to because until you have lost a child, you have no idea what I went through.”

  “And you know what Lillie? I don’t give a shit. I know you lost a child, but you still had one living that you handed off like a pair of shoes that had started to pinch your feet.”

  Malik attempted to say something when Jayne held up her hand. “Grandma Pearl raised me in church and taught me forgiveness, but until today, I never realized how angry, bitter, and resentful I was toward the two of you. I don’t forgive either of you. In my heart, I know I was better off without you, but it still hurts to be abandoned.”

  Lillie wiped away tears, but Jayne wasn’t finished. “You two can go crawl back into whatever holes you climbed out of, because I don’t want or need either of you in my life at this point. And just so we are clear, I never plan to have any children, so if you are resting your hopes in redemption on your grandchildren, then you have come up short again.”

  She grabbed her purse and went to find Toshi, who was sitting at the table playing Gin Rummy with Grandpa Joe. She touched him on the shoulder. “Toshi, we are leaving.”

  Grandma Pearl opened her mouth. “God said to turn the other cheek Chile.”

  “The only cheek I plan to turn to those two are the ones holding up my ass.” She turned her back to her grandparents and made her way out the door with Toshi on her heels. “It was nice to meet everyone,” he said as he made his way to the car.

  Tears rolled down Jayne’s cheeks as he drove them home. They arrived at her building and he walked her to the door. “Toshi, I just want to be alone tonight okay.”

  “No, it is not okay. The last thing you need right now is to be alone.”

  Sunday after church, Toshi sat in his parent’s kitchen. Eri was chomping at the bit. “Musukosan, did you meet her people?”

  “I did Haha,” he told his mother, but his eyes were on his father. “They are a learned family in law enforcement. One is an attorney. She has a cousin who works for Microsoft and one who works for Google.”

  Eri asked, “And her parents?”

  In actuality his words were true. “Jayne is truly loved by her family and her parents, who have kept a watchful eye over their only child.”

  Hirishito asked, “What does this mean for you Toshi?”

  “I would like your blessing to make Jayne my wife,” he told them both. Kunio sat quietly watching him, feeling proud of her brother for standing up for the woman he loved. She also knew that she would never feel for Akira what her brother felt for Jayne.

  On Sunday after church, Jayne sat on the front porch with Grandpa Joe, with a heavy heart. “Jayne,” he said to her as he sipped at his lemonade. “I went to the Piggly Wiggly one time to get Pearlie a watermelon and left Sydney on the cash register. I got half way home before I realized that I left my child.”

  She looked at him with some amusement. “When I got back to that store, he was balling like a banshee.”

  He sipped some more lemonade. “Don’t smile too big, girlie. I left your little ass a
few times as well.” He laughed loudly. “There is no handbook on how to be a great parent, because each child is different. What worked on Joe Jr. never worked on Frank and sure as hell didn’t work on your Mama. She was that kid on the playground, that if you didn’t play her way, then she would take the ball into the house, and nobody could play. We planted them in the same soil, fed and watered them each the same, but your Mama, was different. It was her way or no way.”

  He rocked back and forth a few times in the chair. “We took her to the doctor several times, telling them something was wrong with that child. They put Pearlie on medication. Giving her a three month supply of some damned Valiums.”

  He looked resigned in his thoughts. “Failure has a way of showing you what you are made of. Not all of our failures are the ones you can bounce back from. Pearlie took to the prayer closet hoping to pray away the demons she thought riddled Lillie’s mind. I am not saying it is our fault, but Lillie was never a strong minded child. She was more like my sister, May Bell, who would change her mind sixteen times to Sunday, before making a decision. But once she made one, she stuck to it. Right, wrong, or indifferent.”

  Jayne rocked silently in the chair, adding no commentary either way. “They came back for you several times little Jayne, but we would not let you go.”

  “He stood on this very same porch, yelling at the top of his lungs, that you all were going to be a family again.” Grandpa Joe chuffed. “Six months later, they were fighting. He asked for a divorce and she locked herself back in the looney bin for four years. Only reason she left then is because they kicked her sorry butt out.”

  The look on Jayne’s face nearly said it all. Grandpa Joe held up his hand to silence her. “I love my daughter, Chile, but I had to make a choice. I chose to keep you away from those selfish assholes. If you want to be resentful about not knowing your parents, then you aim it at me.”

  Jayne wrapped her arms around her grandfather’s neck. “Girlie, Toshi is a nice young man. Don’t hold back on giving him some pretty little Blackanese babies out of fear that you will turn into your parents.”

  “They are called Blasian, Grandpa,” she told him as she let go of his neck. Grandpa Joe reached into his shirt pocket and removed a business card, handing it to Jayne who eyed the card with some trepidation. “When you feel you are ready, give him a call.”

  As Jayne left the porch, she could hear him mumbling about buying diapers for him and the babies. “Whatever you want to call them chillun’, they are going to be funny looking just like you,” he shouted at her. She found herself laughing at his grumbling about making extra product in his diaper for Pearlie to clean up.

  Chapter 30

  The past three weeks had been a whirlwind. June was upon them and the final touches had been made to the comic book which was being printed. The end of the first week of June the books arrived and nearly took over Toshi’s home office. Several boxes were taken to Jayne’s apartment and everything looked so much smaller. In the midst of all the happenings, Toshi continued looking at houses. When he had narrowed it down to three, he had Jayne join him.

  The first house was entirely too large. It was in Columbia County which would make her commute to work miserable. The second house had a lot of potential with a beautiful artist studio with lots of light, but the artist who lived there was not much of a cook. The kitchen was drab, small, and all of the appliances as well as the electrical wiring were outdated. The third house was absolutely perfect, with two out buildings. One to serve as a studio, while the other as a shed for gardening. The only problem, when the door to the studio was opened, what was not drowned out by rattling, they could hear other things slithering. Toshi turned to ask Jayne a question, but she was already back in the car. House hunting had to start over from the beginning.

  On Saturday, as Jayne headed to the mall, she became lost in her thoughts. The business card Grandpa Joe had given her held Malik’s phone number and work address. Something made her dial the number. After three rings his voice came through the car audio system. “Malik Wright.”

  “This is Jayne,” she said softly. “It would appear that I inherited my painting ability from you.”

  His smile was almost audible. “You also inherited that wicked gap in my teeth.” They both chuckled while listening to the sound of each other breathing. Jayne asked, “So, how does this work? I mean, where do we start?”

  “Let’s start here. We build from there, if that is okay with you, Jayne.”

  “That will work,” she responded, pulling over onto a side street.

  “Your painting of Mother and Son. I bought it at the gallery showing you had two years ago. It hangs over my dining room table,” he told her with pride. “It is so well done and simply beautiful.”

  The conversation continued on for a few minutes about paints, imagery, and his gallery in Atlanta. It was common ground and safe dialogue, which suited them both fine. The call ended with her promise to come to Atlanta after the LA Expo.

  Jayne sat in her car feeling hopeful. Even with so much work to do, she still felt optimistic. Now, on to the mall….where am I?

  She was sitting on Richmond Avenue, not far from the GRU, Summerville campus in front of an adorable yellow cottage with a for sale sign. She called Toshi. “I found it!” Fifteen minutes later he pulled up in front of the house, which sat on a corner lot. They peered through the window only to be surprised by an older couple, who opened the front door and invited them inside.

  The home had beautiful archways, hard wood floors throughout, glazed kitchen cabinets, a double oven in the kitchen, and three bedrooms and three baths. The fireplaces were fantastic, but the selling point for Jayne was the unique custom backsplash in the kitchen. She loved the two fireplaces, but for Toshi, he fell in love with the master bathroom. That had a sunken garden Jacuzzi tub.

  The front porch had a swing on it and the patio had a back deck that would be perfect for cookouts and having their friends over. The back yard had a privacy fence and a storage shed. Jayne loved it. “I have to ask. What is the listing price?” she posed to the older couple.

  “We are asking $225,” they told her. Jayne’s heart sank. Even if she paid off her car, that would be a hefty mortgage. Toshi had mentioned buying a house because they needed new workspace, but he hadn’t declared her moving in, or making her his wife. At least, thus far he hadn’t asked.

  Later in the evening, as they sat on her couch, her mind wandered to the little cottage with the pretty yellow walls. In the second bedroom she envisioned a pink wall that she could paint a fairy tale scene upon where a little girl would make it a world of her own. A rocking chair would be in the room where she would sit and nurse their daughter. Her thumb idly rubbed Toshi’s hand as pictures flashed before her eyes of a little boy, with jet black hair bounding up and down those stairs, dragging in mud from the back yard. Tears ran down her cheeks. She wiped them away with the back of her hands. Why am I so frickin’ emotional?

  “Why are you crying, Jayne? What’s wrong?” Toshi asked with concern.

  Never in her life had she envisioned herself being a mother. She never truly wanted any children, but in that house she could see a life, a family, and a future with this man. Always afraid to ask for what she wanted. Always afraid to rock the boat. Never willing to pay the cost to truly get in the game. All of her doubts, fears, and baggage went out the window.

  She looked at Toshi, voice shaking with emotion. “I want that house and I want to give you a son and daughter to run back and forth up those stairs. I want to make dinner in that kitchen and make love with you in front of the fireplace. I will empty every account I have, sell my car. Whatever we need to do, Toshi, I will do. I want us to start our life together in that house.”

  He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. “I will talk to the agent tomorrow.”

  Chapter 31

  The last week of June was filled with last minute details. The hotel room had been booked months ago, the plane ti
ckets were purchased months prior, and boxes of comics were loaded at the UPS store headed to LA. The booth cost was nearly two grand. So far, after expenses they were nearly six thousand in the hole. The cost to play in the big arena was hefty, but much of the cost could be recouped in comic book sales.

  Jayne felt defeated yet energized as she reminded Toshi. “We will need to sell at least 12,000 copies to recoup the money we have invested. If we do it right, we will have enough for a sizeable down payment for the house.” If that doesn’t work, then I will have to find a street corner and sell some booty.

  “Relax Jayne,” he told her as he rubbed her back. “As far as I am concerned, what we have accomplished is more than I ever expected. To have all of this and you at my side, is more than I ever dreamed. The rest will work itself out.”

  “You are always so calm. I love that about you, Toshi.”

  “You have a calming effect on me. When I am with you, I don’t worry about anything. Besides, I have been led to believe that it was my amazing skills in bed that captured your love,” he said with a smile.

  “Well, that does help a great deal,” she said as she rested her arms around his neck. “In three days we are in the air and The Vigilantes makes its public debut.”

  “So, are you ready to take the big stage with some heavy hitting Cosplayers?”

  “Hell no! I am scared out of my mind,” she told him. “But I had this idea after seeing you on the dance floor.” She pulled away from him and grabbed her iPod from her bag, scrolled through a few songs, then hit play.

  “What if we combined our stage appearance with this music, your martial arts and some well-placed danced moves, with a video as a backdrop. I’m sure we’ll make a big splash.” She started the music and it was Bodies, by Drowning Pool.

  Toshi stood transfixed listening. Then he began to move. He made a round house kick, as the words reverberated in the room. He did not miss a beat, as he moved across the living room floor. Suddenly he stopped and went into his Zen room and returned with a set of nunchucks and a sword. “Start it over from the top,” he told her as he handed her the nunchucks.