Undone

by Brook Wilder

  “I want out, Sam,” Kayla said quietly, staring at their joined hands. “I just don’t know how.”

  Sam said nothing. He wanted to help. And he had an idea to help her out. But it was not a conversation to be had right now. Kayla needed to focus on her health, not on her future. Not right at this minute.

  Hopefully, she would take him up on his offer. Sam wouldn’t be happy unless he knew that Kayla was close by and well.

  They sat together in silence, a silence that felt warm and comfortable rather than awkward, until a nurse and a porter came into the cubicle. It was the same nurse from earlier, who gave Sam a smile before turning to Kayla.

  “We’re going to take you up to the ward now, Kayla,” she said gently. “Do you want your friend to come with you?”

  Almost immediately, Kayla’s hand tightened around Sam’s. She nodded.

  “Please.”

  The nurse’s eyes softened.

  “Not a problem. But he’ll have to leave when we tell him. No arguments.”

  “I can do that,” Sam answered eagerly. Although he wasn’t sure if he would leave when he was told. Not until Kayla was completely settled.

  Chapter Forty Six

  Amber

  When I had first woken up from surgery, I had been terrified. My first thought had been for my baby. Was there still a baby? Was it still alive? I had no idea how much blood I had lost, but it wouldn’t have been good. Can a baby even survive a blood transfusion?

  I was almost too scared to ask. I had been in hysterics, even with Liz there, and it had taken a threat of sedation from the nurses before I calmed down. But I didn’t completely settle until the ultrasound showed my baby was still alive, heartbeat pumping along happily.

  My baby was alive. I was alive. But what about Diesel?

  I had no idea what had happened to him. Liz wasn’t able to tell me. Was he dead? I panicked at the thought. He couldn’t be dead. Far too tough for that. But if he was…

  I didn’t want to contemplate becoming a single mother.

  Liz managed to get me to go back to sleep. Not what I wanted to do, but there was nothing else I could do. I closed my eyes, hoping that people would leave me alone if I looked asleep.

  But sleep did hit me and dragged me under quicker than I expected. I hadn’t realized how worn out I was. When I finally managed to rouse myself enough to open my eyes, I was feeling better than before. Apart from the aches in my back and the throbbing in my chest.

  Diesel was in a wheelchair beside the bed. His leg was stretched out in front of him, clad in a cast. He wore a hospital gown, with a bandage wrapped around his head. There were cuts and bruises all over his face, and his nose was not broken, but it was swollen.

  But I had never seen a more welcoming sight, and reached for him.

  “Diesel.”

  Diesel smiled and managed to scoot the wheelchair closer to take my hand.

  “Hey, gorgeous.” He kissed my hand. “You’re looking good, considering they took a bullet out of you a few hours ago.”

  “I’m feeling better. Just woozy.”

  “That’ll wear off soon.”

  I hoped not. I wasn’t looking forward to the after-effects. I stared at the wheelchair.

  “You shouldn’t be out of bed. You’re in a worse state than I am.”

  But Diesel shook his head.

  “I don’t care. I’ll go back in a while, but I said I wasn’t going until I knew you were okay. Once I’d looked in your eyes and knew you were still with us.”

  I felt like crying. No one had cared about me like that before. Diesel seemed to be breaking all his self-imposed rules about opening up to people. Right now, he seemed to be wide open for me.

  “How… How long have you been here?”

  “About an hour.” Diesel’s fingers tightened around my hand. His expression became pained. “You scared me, Amber.”

  “I scared me.” I resisted the urge to prod at my shoulder. “I’ve never been shot before.”

  “I know. It’s not something you get used to.”

  “You’re not used to it?”

  “I’ve been shot nearly a dozen times. It never gets any easier.”

  I could very well believe it. I felt myself wanting to say something. Those three words that Diesel abhorred. But I didn’t want him running away.

  I couldn’t keep them back. Managing to sit up, I leaned towards him as my hand tightened around his fingers.

  “Listen, Diesel.” I found myself wanting to back away, but soldiered on. “I know I shouldn’t say this. It’s nothing something you want to hear. But… Diesel…”

  “I love you, Amber.” He said abruptly.

  My voiced died away. I stared at Diesel, smiling at me. There was no doubt in his eyes, no tension in his expression. He looked completely relaxed at those three important words. Had I heard him correctly? Was this the same man?

  “What…? What did you say?”

  “I said I love you.” Diesel chuckled. “You weren’t expecting that, were you?”

  “No. I…” I licked my lips. “I didn’t think you were capable of it.”

  “Oh, I am capable of it. I just don’t want to admit it.”

  “Because it ruins your tough-guy attitude?”

  Diesel winced.

  “More than that.” Diesel hesitated, shifting in his chair. “Remember you asked who the woman was who had ruined me for everyone else?”

  “Diesel, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

  “I do. I need to tell you. It’s unfair to you.”

  Even then, Diesel still looked reluctant to say anything. We sat there in silence, still holding hands. I wished I could get out of bed, curl up in Diesel’s lap and give him some comfort. But I didn’t think the nurses would be too impressed, so I waited. This was clearly hard for him, and I wasn’t about to break it.

  “When I was your age, I had a long-term girlfriend.” Diesel didn’t look at me as he spoke. “Freya. We had been together since we were sixteen. I thought she was going to be my wife, and I did propose to her when I was eighteen at our high school graduation. She accepted. Everything seemed to be perfect.”

  He had been engaged? When was he going to tell me that? I bit my lip to stop some snide remark. Now was not the time.

  “I enlisted after graduation into the army. Then I went overseas for my first tour for nine months. While I was away, Freya discovered she was pregnant.” Diesel swallowed hard. “And she aborted it.”

  My mouth dropped open. “What?”

  “She aborted my baby. Never told me about it.” Diesel’s voice became tight. “I only found out about it from my mom when I came back from my tour. I was planning on surprising Freya by coming home early, but Freya… She surprised me first.”

  “How?”

  “Mom was shocked that I was planning on going around to Freya. She said her husband wouldn’t like it.” Diesel rubbed at his eyes. “I didn’t know she had got married to someone else. Mom thought I knew.”

  “Freya… I thought she was engaged to you.”

  “She was. But she had been having an affair with a senior at the nearby college. When Freya got pregnant, she knew it was mine, and she was planning on ending it with me. She didn’t want anything to tie herself to me.”

  “So, she got rid of it,” I murmured. I felt like I was about to cry for Diesel. “Didn’t she ever apologize?”

  “No. Freya tried to say she had ended things and sent a letter, but I never got anything.” Diesel shuddered. “I had never been so humiliated. Last I checked, she’s got three kids with that bastard now, and they’re still married.”

  I didn’t think I would see Diesel look so downtrodden. He had cared about his girlfriend. But that had been blown out of the water.

  At least I understood everything now. About why Diesel reacted the way he had when he found out about the pregnancy. My hand rested on my belly.

  “That’s why you’ve been over-protective
with our baby,” I murmured.

  “I’d already lost one child.” Diesel looked up at me. “I didn’t want to lose another.”

  I smiled and squeezed his hand. “Not a chance of having this baby aborted,” I declared. “I won’t do that. And the nurses say the baby’s doing well. We’re both fine.”

  “I’m glad.” Diesel let out a shuddering breath. “Please, don’t leave me again.”

  “Just don’t kill anyone in the house again.”

  Diesel let out a weak chuckle.

  “I think I can handle that.” His eyes twinkled. “There is something you need to say to me, though. I think you omitted to say it.”

  “You arrogant bastard.”

  “No, not that.”

  I rolled my eyes, leant over, and kissed his bruised knuckles.

  “I love you, you arrogant bastard.”

  Chapter Forty Seven

  Diesel

  When she was asleep, Amber looked adorable. Her hair spread across the pillow, the duvet bunched around her waist. Her t-shirt had ridden up, revealing her very swollen belly. Her breasts were looking larger as well, pressed against the fabric, with her nipples clearly showing through.

  Nearly six months pregnant, and she looked even more beautiful.

  I stood in the doorway and watched her sleep. I had woken up a short while earlier with a dry throat and gone to get a drink. Now I couldn’t stop looking at Amber as she slept. She was looking far more relaxed than she had done four months ago. This period of peace was doing her the world of good.

  Getting used to having someone sleep beside me on a regular basis had taken some getting used to, but I had a very big bed. If I hadn’t, Amber would have fallen out many times already. We had taken up parts of the bed as theirs, although Amber would either roll onto my side and cuddle against me, or I found myself spooning her, my hands on her belly as their baby boy kicked.

  Their son was certainly a lively one. He was a fighter, a strong one. When I had discovered we were having a boy, I found myself close to tears again. I wanted to feel every kick, know everything that was going on. The GRMC teased me about going soft, but I didn’t care. In another three months, I would have my son in my arms.

  Amber had been a real trooper, carrying their child. The morning sickness hit her as soon as the first trimester had passed, causing her to spend most of the day hugging the toilet bowl for nearly a week. It had caused her to be hospitalized again. But now she carried on with barely any complaints. It was hard to be tough when I knew the woman I loved was struggling at home.

  At least Mason was more than understanding. Cassie had given birth prematurely, and their daughter had only just come home the day before after being in hospital for two weeks. He had holed himself up in his home with his wife and child. Meanwhile, Noah was the proud father for the second time. Liz had given birth during the night, although they hadn’t revealed the gender of the baby or the name.

  I wasn’t about to bother them. They were in their own happy little cloud.

  Four months of peace. It felt like a lifetime. Surreal, but good. I wasn’t going to complain about that. I liked it. Other gangs had kept out of their way, and even Khloe had gone to ground. She had spent a lot of her time threatening them, but a stern word from Mason had had her scurrying away.

  I could only hope she got the help she needed. I disliked Khloe, but I didn’t wish her any harm.

  I climbed back into the bed, tugging the duvet away from Amber’s body. Along with the t-shirt, she wore little boxer shorts, ones that hugged her hips and left little to the imagination. I couldn’t help myself and started tugging her shorts down.

  That was when Amber awoke, stretching before she opened her eyes and looked down at me. Instead of swatting me away, she lifted her hips.

  “Morning.”

  “Morning.” I finally pulled her shorts off and tossed them aside. “Sorry, I’ve got to taste you again.”

  “Insatiable bastard.” Amber giggled. She parted her legs, and I crawled between them. “Didn’t you get a workout last night?”

  “I’m up for another round.” I began kissing up her inner thigh, listening to her sighs. “And you love it.”

  Amber moaned, her hands sliding into my hair. Then I was aware of something ringing. My damn cell phone. I had forgotten to put it on silent. As Mason was indisposed, I was in charge of the GRMC. Growling, I pulled away and scrambled over to the bedside cabinet.

  “Fuck!”

  “You don’t have to answer it.”

  “If it’s GRMC business, I have to.”

  I snatched it up, but the ringing had stopped. A text message was there, though, addressed from someone I hadn’t expected to hear from ever again. Sitting up, I opened the text and scanned it. It was very brief, but it wasn’t one I could ignore. Sighing, I slipped out of bed and reached for my jeans.

  “I need to take this.”

  “Why?” Amber sat up, tugging her t-shirt down over her belly. “What is it?”

  “No need for you to worry about it.” Diesel buttoned up and leant over her, kissing her. “But it is business you don’t need to hear.”

  We had made a deal months ago that I would keep business separate from my relationship. And I had made good on my promise. Amber didn’t ask, and we didn’t fight about it. It was better that way.

  Amber sighed with a pout, but she lay back and pulled the duvet back up. “Okay. But don’t be too long. You’d better finish what you started.”

  With a comment like that, I found myself hard-pressed to leave the room. So I did, heading downstairs and out into the front yard. A battered Ford Fiesta was behind my bike. Khloe was leaning against it, arms folded with an expression that could have been compared to a sullen teen. She was dressed simply in jeans and a red blouse, her hair loose about her shoulders.

  She didn’t look like the former successful madam she had once been. She looked… lost. I didn’t know how else to describe her. There was still that defiance in her eyes, but she looked less sure about using it.

  That was how I preferred it. Somehow, under proper medication and off the illegal drugs, Khloe was somehow…manageable.

  I walked over to her. Khloe didn’t bother to meet me halfway.

  “I thought you learned your lesson months ago.”

  Khloe arched an eyebrow at me. “I was going to say the same thing about you,” she sneered. “In charge of the GRMC, I heard. Even while you’re fucking your whore.”

  I wasn’t about to get in a fight over Amber. Khloe was looking for an excuse to start one. I wasn’t interested.

  “You’ve lost your business, Khloe. Everything is gone. Why don’t you just move on and start afresh?”

  Khloe snorted rudely. “How can I when everything was taken away? I’m being investigated by the authorities, and they have me on an electronic tag. This would never have happened to me if you and Mason’s crew had done as I wanted and left Eden. I could have had everything.”

  I shook my head. “No, you couldn’t.”

  “Oh, I most certainly could have.”

  “You knew the business as well as I do. Fernandez or Torchev would have sold you out at any point and betrayed you. They wouldn’t want you getting too big for your boots. You were in big trouble whether or not we left.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I do.” I sighed and folded my arms. This felt like a pointless argument. “You’re not a fool, Khloe. You would’ve been dead within a year at the very least, two if you were lucky. At least Mason had no interest in killing you. You co-existed nicely with him.”

  Khloe scowled.

  “You think?” She bared her teeth. “I will get what is mine, Diesel. Don’t doubt that.”

  “You came out all this way to threaten me?”

  “Better face-to-face.”

  I glanced back at the house. I saw a movement in the window. Amber was watching. And I had a feeling Khloe had also come to make sure Amber knew she was there, that she
was still in control. He advanced on Khloe, feeling some satisfaction as she backed up.

  “You come near Amber, or any of the girls under our protection, and I’ll kill you,” I promised. “The GRMC will make sure you pay for it.”

  “I can get whatever I want.”

  Even as she said it, Khloe was backing away rapidly. I smirked.

  “Not anymore. Now, you’ve got five seconds before I put my boot up your backside.”