The Adventures of a South Pole Pig

by Chris Kurtz

  “Um.” Flora didn’t want Sophia to think she didn’t have the killer instinct. “What will you do while I’m crouching and pouncing and doing ... the death bites?”

  “Sophia will be watching your technique and encouraging you.”

  “I think the part about digging in the claws is getting me mixed up.” Flora stared at her hooves.

  “Trust Sophia,” said the cat, locking eyes with Flora. “Now, get out there and make me proud.”

  Flora crept around the corner and crouched. Two rats were chewing on the corner of a box. She gathered herself for the pounce. The wide-bodied one turned and saw her. He bared his teeth.

  “Now,” whispered Sophia from behind Flora.

  Flora tensed her muscles—and leaped!

  What happened next was the most embarrassing moment of her life. Her hooves, which might have leaped just fine on dirt or a manure pile, slipped out from under her on the wooden boards. She fell flat on her belly, which knocked the air out of her. As she lay gasping, she thought she might have heard laughter as the rats padded away.

  Sophia switched her tail. “At least the crouch was good.”

  Flora got to her feet. Twice more she crept out to meet her enemy and twice more suffered the same result. The only difference was that each time she pounced with less enthusiasm so as to save her poor belly. She dragged herself back to the sheriff.

  “Not bad,” said Sophia. “You’re starting to get it now.”

  Flora moaned—and a stream of light flashed down into the dark hold. The rats scurried for the shadows, and Sophia froze. “Who is that?” she asked.

  “Just Amos, the cook. Breakfast time. Come on!” Flora dashed back to her bowl. She threw herself on her chains to disguise that she was no longer bound by them. Sophia curled in behind her.

  “How’s my little ham bone doing, eh?” Amos dumped out a particularly large helping of leftovers. “I got a big feast for you today. You’re still skinny. Get big and fat, okay?” The cook turned and looked around. He tried to see into the dark corners. “Where is that lazy cat?”

  Flora felt Sophia curl in closer.

  “Amos still has rats in his kitchen!” he boomed, then peered around a few more boxes before heading up the stairs.

  “Anything in that bowl for a lazy cat?” whispered Sophia. “Pig food smells pretty good right now.”

  “Well, don’t just sniff it—or smells will be all you’ll get,” said Flora, plunging her snout into the slops. She managed to bolt down the first bite and get a second one into her mouth while Sophia was still only daintily sniffing.

  Snap. Click.

  Sophia crouched. She peered. Flora grabbed another bite.

  Suddenly, a wave of brown and gray flowed over the deck boards. Sophia jumped three feet in the air. “Run for your life!” she screeched.

  Flora backed up, chewing and waiting for the tug of chain. When it didn’t come, she remembered she was free.

  “Sophia, wait for me!” she called, and trotted away from the hideous sloshing and slurping.

  Sophia’s hair stood straight out all over her body. “Is that what happens every time?”

  “Every day,” Flora answered. “I’ve gotten used to it.”

  “I had no idea there were so many rats in the whole world.”

  Flora slumped to the floor. It didn’t seem very likely either of them would be getting a full meal anytime soon.

  Sophia poked a claw into Flora’s back. “Training time is over, Deputy. This is for real.”

  “Ouch,” said Flora. “What’s the plan?”

  Sophia leaned close to Flora’s ear. “Fight for what belongs to you. Forget about technique. Just pound the stuffing out of the next naked-tailed, beady-eyed bully who tries to take away your food.”

  Chapter 18

  Where's my cat?” shouted Amos as he came clumping down the stairs the next morning.

  Again Sophia pressed close to Flora while Amos delivered a delicious-smelling mixture of bread and gravy and squash rinds. He cursed as he stuck his bare hand into the bucket and swished the last drops of gravy into Flora’s bowl.

  “Nothing but rats in Amos’s kitchen!” His voice bounced off the sides of the hold. “Hey, cat, I find you, I strangle you myself and feed you to the rats!”

  He stomped off.

  Flora didn’t take her usual few bites of food this time. Instead, she slowly moved until she was standing over her bowl. Sophia stood next to her. After Sophia’s pep talk yesterday—and after Sophia agreed to handle the death bites—they decided that today would be all or nothing. Flora even sensed a quietness from the rats, as if they knew a change was coming.

  “Watch out!” Sophia whispered.

  Flora couldn’t see anything. Cats had better eyes in this sort of light than pigs. Then the rat king waddled out of the darkness.

  Sophia hissed, and he stopped and sniffed the air. He was clearly more worried about challenging a determined-looking cat than he was about tangling with a pig. He took another step forward.

  Sophia hissed again, but the rat simply continued on. Flora felt the old weakness in her knees return.

  “Okay, now!” whispered Sophia. “Git ’im!”

  Flora’s mind went blank. She never did get the hang of Sophia’s training. What was she supposed to do? Leap? Claw? Bite?

  The rat seemed to smell Flora’s fear—he stood up, opened his mouth, and brought his teeth together with a snap.

  A flash of anger surged through Flora. How dare this dirty little bully with his dirty little friends demand that she give up her food! Like Nessie from the farm, Flora was fed up, and a mean streak she never knew she had flared. In a flash she spun around, cocked her back foot, and shot it out behind her like a horse.

  She felt it connect and heard the rat king land with a soft clink on her discarded chain.

  “Yow!” shouted Sophia. “That was perfect!”

  Flora turned to look at her enemy stretched out and still. She couldn’t believe what she had done. Then the rat’s back leg twitched. “Sophia!” she called, not moving her eyes from him. He twitched again. “Sophia, do something. It’s killer-instinct time!”

  Sophia sprang into action and sank her teeth into the king’s neck.

  “Here comes another one!” Flora hoped she could do it again.

  Sophia let her victim loose and crouched next to Flora. “Make me proud, Deputy!” Every hair on Sophia’s back stood on end. The second rat darted close.

  Flora spun around. “Pow,” she muttered to herself as she lashed out another kick.

  The rat tumbled tail over whiskers, and Sophia was on him until he stopped moving. She gave this one a shake before slinking back to Flora’s side. “Two down, only two hundred to go!”

  Flora circled her bowl, still filled with delicioussmelling food. The thieving mob had crept out from behind the boxes, whiskers quivering. The rats whined and clicked their teeth in frustration. They foamed and twisted over and around themselves, a great surging mass of fur. They weren’t looking at the food any longer, they were watching Flora’s hind feet.

  The rats in front suddenly charged. She spun in place and fired both back hooves at the oncoming furry bodies. Rats tried to climb her and she shook them off, ignoring their sharp claws. Again she lashed out—again and again. Sophia darted around to the stunned ones to deliver bites.

  Finally the remaining rats scattered into the shadows, moaning and whining.

  “Eight kills!” Sophia leaped into the air and then danced a victory dance. “I did it! I killed a rat! I killed eight rats. I really did it!”

  Flora sat, dazed and proud.

  “I’m unbelievable!” Sophia crowed. “I’m the queen of cats, the enemy of rats, the sheriff of a thousand teeth. Beware my killer instinct!” She stood on her hind legs and looked into Flora’s eyes. “All that training I gave you sure paid off, ma chérie,” she said. “You can thank me later. Come on—let’s celebrate. I’m starving.”

  The two f
riends had a wonderful feast. Actually, Flora thought she could have eaten a little more, but she was glad to share with the sheriff.

  After they were finished, they dragged each rat carcass by the tail over to the stairs, putting them in a neat row. Then they found a corner to curl up in together for an after-battle nap.

  What treats would Amos bestow on her now, when he saw what a useful creature his little pig was? Surely he would grant her not just special slops but freedom. She imagined stepping out of the hold and into the sunshine with Sophia, walking down the line of dog cages. Word would have spread about her hidden talent—and she wouldn’t be able to hold her head high enough.

  Chapter 19

  That's more like it! Amos exclaimed the next morning, staring down at the row of dead rats. Behind the rats sat the sheriff and the larger deputy like two proud fishermen displaying their latest catch. “Rats on my boat got a big problem now!”

  Amos nudged one with his toe as if he couldn’t believe it was dead. Then he bent down and stroked Sophia’s head.

  “Good kitty. I make a super choice when I catch you. Champion rat biter!” He chucked Sophia under her chin, which started her purring. She rubbed her side against his leg.

  “And you, pig.” He turned to Flora. “How did you get off your chain?”

  Flora stiffened.

  “No, no, no! No pigs walking around. You stay put. You get fat. That’s your job.” Amos walked over to Flora’s chain and stooped to examine the collar. Flora and Sophia followed. “Bad piggy,” he muttered to himself.

  After filling her bowl with pig slops, Amos reached into his pocket and brought out a length of rope. Looping the rope around Flora’s neck, he crafted a collar and clipped it to the chain. Then he tossed the old leather collar away.

  Gathering the dead rats by their tails, he climbed the stairs.

  Sophia raised her head high. “That is one impressed cook!” She sniffed Flora’s slops and turned up her nose. “Don’t think I’ll need to choke down pig food from now on. I have a feeling Sophia is in line for a special treat. Watch this.”

  Flora looked at Sophia. Then she looked at her bowl of food that she had worked so hard to protect. Suddenly she didn’t feel very hungry.

  The door swung open again. This time Amos carried down a plate of greasy fish and set it in front of the cat. “Good kitty.” He petted Sophia on the head. “Strong kitty. Queen kitty. I gotta tell the captain about you!”

  When he was gone, Sophia inspected her plate and took a dainty nibble. “Heavenly,” she said. “Feels good to get real food delivered right to your feet.”

  Flora watched Sophia take another bite. “Do you think you can chew through this rope?”

  “Hmm.” Sophia swallowed and licked her lips. “Could be a problem. Cats don’t really chew on ropes. Still, it’ll be okay. The rats come to us, remember?”

  Flora wasn’t comforted.

  “Let’s eat,” said her friend. “We’re going to need our strength. They’ll be back.”

  Sophia was right. The rats weren’t ready to give up. Or maybe, Flora thought, they let their stomachs do their thinking for them. The first one dashed in on Flora’s bowl as Sophia finished her fish.

  This time Flora didn’t hesitate to fire off kicks. But it was awkward working at the end of the chain, and she didn’t feel the same joy inside either.

  Still, the rat-extermination team worked their magic over the next few meals. But each day they killed fewer and fewer. The vermin would run off, clicking their teeth and screeching in frustration.

  Then it happened. The rats stopped coming.

  It would have been comforting to think all of them had been killed. But the sounds of clicks and hisses and chewing remained. Either they’d learned their lesson, Flora thought, or more likely, the two friends had killed off the stupid rats and only the wise and cunning ones were left.

  Amos was disturbed when he came down one morning.

  “Big problem!” he boomed. He placed the pig slops on the floor and leaned over Sophia. “Lots of alive rats upstairs in my kitchen again. No more dead rats down here where they come from. What’s the problem, cat?”

  Sophia rubbed herself against his legs, but there wasn’t a plate of fish in his hands today. Then she made the mistake of picking out some choice morsels from Flora’s slops.

  “No!” Amos stomped his foot inches from her tail, making Sophia jump back and hiss. “No more free food for you. You gotta be hungry. Your job is killing rats! No dead rats, no food!”

  Amos stayed close while Flora ate her fill. He looked into the shadows from time to time, and when he heard the scurrying of little bodies, he shook his head. Flora was careful to leave a few bites for her friend. But as soon as she stopped eating, Amos picked up her bowl. “No pig food for cats!” Sophia rubbed herself hopefully on his legs a second time, but he tossed her off.

  “Do your job!” he shouted, and stomped up the stairs.

  “That was rude,” Sophia said, and she began to give herself a thorough tongue bath, as if not knowing where her next meal might come from didn’t disturb her.

  “Very rude,” said Flora.

  “But it’s true.” Sophia paused in her licking. “I have to do my job better.”

  “How?” asked Flora.

  Sophia finished her cleaning with a flourish. “Hunt them. Then kill them.”

  “But how are you going to kill them without me?” Flora pulled against her chain. The rope collar dug into her neck.

  “Ha! Sophia doesn’t need help. I only needed to get started. I have my killer instinct back. Cat attack! Rat hunting is what cats were made for.”

  Flora slumped down on her chain.

  “Catch you later, pig. Don’t run off too far.” Sophia nudged Flora on the shoulder. “Just kidding. I’ll stop by and say hi if I get a chance between kills. Or when I need a break from hunting.”

  “Good luck.” Flora sighed and then forced a smile. Watching until the little flag of Sophia’s tail disappeared into the darkness, she felt more useless than ever.

  Chapter 20

  For the next few hours, Flora listened to the sounds of the sheriff killing rats. During the silences, she imagined Sophia licking her paw for a moment before going after her next victim.

  “Good for you,” Flora whispered. She tried to get comfortable and let her mind wander to her real job, the one the captain would give her once they got to their destination.

  She laid her head down, and a snowy scene filled her mind. There were no trees, no grass, no stones. There were no creatures—only whiteness. Then over the snow came a sled team with a pig at the lead. A blizzard roared down out of nowhere, until the dogs couldn’t see ten feet ahead of them. Their leader didn’t need to see. She knew the way by heart. She was unstoppable.

  “Don’t you give up on me!” she shouted to the dogs behind her. She knew they were exhausted. “Remember this! A sled team is tough. A sled team is strong. We don’t give up. And we’re a little bit crazy!”

  Flora gave a hop and a wiggle to show her boys how unafraid she was, and then she pulled with all her might. The sled surged forward.

  Flora slept and dreamed until a new sound woke her up.

  It was a cross between a moan and a meow.

  Sophia?

  The cat queen mewed near Flora’s ear. “I can’t do it.”

  She looked terrible. One of her ears was bloody. A patch of fur was missing from her shoulder.

  “I’m a failure,” she moaned. “Nothing but a hairball. Worthless!”

  “What happened?” Flora sat up. “How many rats did you kill?”

  “Zero!” Sophia wailed. “They ganged up on me.”

  Flora couldn’t help feeling a tiny quiver of satisfaction. “I wish I could help.”

  “I shouldn’t need help.” Sophia threw herself down on the boards. “Cats are supposed to be independent.”

  Flora tried not to look happy. “You need a team.”

  Sophia lick
ed her paw mournfully and then looked up. “I do not! I’m a loner.”

  Flora shook her head to make the chain rattle. “Um ... maybe you could take a crack at this rope around my neck after all?”

  Sophia studied it doubtfully. Then she began to gnaw at the rope. After a few minutes she gave a very uncatlike squeak.

  “Did you get it?” asked Flora.

  “No,” Sophia moaned. “I think I broke a tooth.”

  Just then something heavy thudded at the top of the stairs, and the door opened with a bang.

  “Now I’m gonna teach you a lesson for good!” Amos came into view. In one hand he held Flora’s slops, and he had a stick under his arm. With his other hand he dragged a lump that thumped down each step. At the bottom, Amos dropped the lump in a heap.

  “You got a new job!” He gave the heap a kick. >“I caught you stealing food like a rat. Now you catch rats or you don’t eat. Here.” Amos threw down the stick. “Bang their heads with this. Lantern and matches are on the stairs.”

  “I wouldn’t have to steal if you fed me enough!”

  The heap lifted its head.

  Aleric!

  Amos put the bowl of pig food down and turned back to the boy. “You and that lazy cat had better kill rats every day or you don’t eat at all anymore!”

  Amos grabbed the bowl when Flora was finished. “Only the pig eats for free.” He stomped to the top of the stairs and slammed the door.

  Flora flinched. She knew she needed her strength. Still, she hadn’t felt good about digging into a bowl full of food while Sophia and Aleric stood by hungry.

  Aleric picked up the stick and pounded on the stairs. “I won’t be treated like a prisoner!”

  No answer came from the top.

  “He’s in worse shape than I am,” whispered Sophia. “If cats were the compassionate sort, I would feel sorry for him.”

  The boy sat on the stairs and put his head on his knees. Flora and Sophia waited and watched. When they got tired of waiting they curled up together and fell asleep.