FUEL (DirtSlap Series Book 1)

by Ashlynn Pearce

  “I know.” Like he didn’t notice how well her breast fit in his hand. “But you’re not just some chic. You’re Cam’s sister and my friend. Do you know how bad things like this can fuck up a friendship?”

  Her eyes widened and she stood, hands on her hips. “It’s been seven years. Seven. With no word from you. Nothing. Friends don’t disappear like that.”

  “And I regret it. There hasn’t been a day that has gone by that I haven’t thought of you and Cameron. I have no excuse for not checking up on you, but…” He didn’t know how to tell her how ashamed he had been—and still was—for leaving like that. It was a thorn that pierced him, day in and day out.

  She threw it in his face. And he deserved it… every bit of it.

  “You thought about me but didn’t check up on me?” She grabbed his sticks and threw them against the wall. “You know, I get why you left. I do. Why would anyone want to stay in that hellhole if they could get out? But then, nothing.”

  “You don’t understand. I tried to get you help, and your dad threatened me with statutory rape for trying to intervene. Social services said they would take care of it but told me, in no uncertain terms, that if I didn’t butt out, I would end up in jail. Then I found all my stuff piled in my parents’ driveway after they’d heard I was involved with trying to help you. There wasn’t much I could do.” The shame and guilt of it all came pouring out. It had eaten at him for seven long years, and even if he couldn’t fix it, he could at least try to explain. “I left without a word because I knew you would ask me to stay, and I’ve never been able to tell you no. But I couldn’t stay.”

  Tears shimmered in her eyes as she slid back onto his drum stool.

  “You’re the one who got social services involved? Hell, I should have put two-and-two together when you were gone shortly after.” She shook her head, disbelief on her face. “My dad told me you left because everyone always leaves me. Because I was nothing but trash. If my mother didn’t want me, why would anyone else?”

  Outrage and grief choked him. “You know that isn’t true.”

  “I didn’t want to think so, but…” She shrugged. “You never sent word. Nothing. Cam was gone. My mother left when I was six. Everyone left.”

  The vacant look in her eyes carved the hole in his heart deeper. There was nothing he could say to make it better.

  “Did they help you? They said they would.” He hoped liked hell they had.

  She angrily wiped at the one lone tear.

  “Oh, yeah. They got involved. At first I was relieved, then I realized they were going to put me in a foster home.” Her jaw worked and nostrils flared. “So I lied. Told them it was fine. Made the house look presentable for their visits. It may have been hell, but at least it was a hell I knew.”

  Thrand sagged against the wall. He couldn’t believe it. He’d hoped and prayed that she’d been okay. But he knew what Cam had lived with. Cassie had not been fine. It left a sour taste in his mouth and his chest tightened. There was no way he would ever be able to apologize for leaving her like that. “I’m so sorry, Cassie.”

  “You tried. Which is more than anyone, other than Cam, had ever done. It’s fine though. Doesn’t matter anymore. I got out. I don’t know if it was luck or fate that I ran into you, but I would have been fine one way or another. I appreciate the help, but I don’t want or need a hero.”

  She stood and strode toward him, her hand fiddling with the leather cuff. “I kissed you because I wanted to. You could have had more, but your so-called morals stopped you. One day, you might regret it. Life is too uncertain to waste on ‘what ifs’.”

  Then she stormed out, the front door banging shut.

  Had a truck hit him, he couldn’t have felt more fractured. That girl ripped out his heart even though it thundered in his chest. He hung his head and stared at the floor, the sticks not far from his feet. She hadn’t aimed at him, but he might have felt better if she had. Because she was right. On all counts.

  He might be five years older than her, but she understood more about life than he could ever claim. He scrubbed his face with his hand and swallowed bitter rage. He had seen the scars on Cam. He’d seen just how fucked up Cam had been. How had Cassie even survived it?

  Chapter 5

  Tears spilled over her cheeks as Cassie ran down the concrete steps in bare feet. The air was cool, but she didn’t care. She took off at a fast clip down the paved street. No way could she stay in there and let Thrand see her cry. She’d been so caught up in his music. The rush of want that made her blood pump. The need in his darkened eyes. She’d made the first move, knowing he wouldn’t.

  His greedy hands and scorching kisses told her he wanted her. And lord he could kiss. Her dreams couldn’t compare to the reality of his lips on hers or those strong arms that held her while she came apart.

  She wanted him.

  Always had.

  She didn’t let him know how devastated she’d been when he’d disappeared. She’d even gone to his home, only to have his parents slam the door in her face and then put a restraining order on her. She couldn’t even serve them when they’d come into Ruth & Pops.

  She might have been only fourteen, but her feelings for him had been real. Were real. Seeing him again reminded her how much in love with the stubborn ass she had been and, to her utter surprise, still was. She had no idea he’d tried to save her. Had no idea that he’d been driven from her. That only solidified it.

  She was here. He was here.

  There was no way she would miss her chance. Not again. He may have shut her down, but this wasn’t over. She had no delusions that this was a forever thing. This wasn’t a fairy tale. Had never believed in them anyway.

  She knew for a fact Thrand Medlam wanted her and she might only get him for a little while…but she would have him.

  She furiously wiped at her tears as a steady rain fell. Of course. She balled up her fists and screamed at the sky. If fate was involved maybe it should take a long hike down a short plank. She was having a hard enough time without that evil bitch stirring the pot.

  It was about that time she heard shoes slapping on the wet pavement.

  “Cassie, come in out of the rain.”

  She sighed when she heard his strained voice and turned. It figured. Thrand looked even better under the dim streetlights with his shirt plastered to his body. Dammit.

  “Yeah, I’m coming,” she muttered and stomped off ahead of him.

  She didn’t stop when she got inside, just went straight to her room without a word. She might be in love with him, but she wasn’t a simpering fool.

  Thrand was gone when Cassie got up the next morning, but at least he’d left a note.

  “Working in studio today. Take the truck. ~ T”

  Keys were lying next to the scrap of paper. She grabbed the keys as she walked out the door to her new job.

  The first thing she noticed at Booseys was Dooley wasn’t on door duty. She stepped inside and realized the place was very dead. No band in sight, just music playing from the speakers overhead and a couple of people sitting at the tables.

  She walked up to the bar, where a slender girl worked. Chin-length, straight, black hair framed a surprisingly angelic face, with storm-blue eyes that matched Mick’s.

  “You must be Cassie,” the girl said softly. “I’m Angel.”

  “Nice to meet you. Mick’s daughter, right?”

  “I am.” She handed her an apron. “Just keep the place clean, and take orders as they come in. It will pick up in a couple of hours and Lila will be in a bit.”

  Several hours later, Cassie was leaning against the bar for a short break, amazed at how busy the place had gotten even though they kept telling her it was still slow.

  She tightened her ponytail and glanced up when Mick made his way toward her. “Holding up okay, Jailbait?”

  She laughed at the name. “Dooley?”

  “Yup. That’s all the man would call you, so looks like you’re stuck with it.”
>
  “I’m okay. It’s just light years from the diner.”

  “You’re doing good. No worries. The customers like you. All I care about. You’ll get used to the crowd. You have any questions or problems just let me or Dana know.” Mick tossed her a wink and walked off.

  A band was setting up when one of the members approached her.

  “Cassie,” Ryan gave her a slight hug. “Didn’t know you worked here.”

  She hugged him back. His carefree attitude was infectious and it was impossible not to like him. She placed tumblers on a tray. “Today is my first day. I didn’t know you played.”

  “Guitar.”

  “Sweet. Is that your band?”

  “Naw. Just filling in.” In the daylight, his eyes were a pretty shade of cinnamon brown, but he still had that playful grin, and he was just as disheveled-looking. He made her want to ruffle his hair.

  When she felt eyes on her, she looked up in time to see Thrand walk through the door. Her breath seized. He wore his signature black cap on backwards and had that swagger that she knew so well. It hadn’t been that long since she’d seen him, but in the light of day, all she could focus on was his lips and how they had made her feel the night before.

  He didn’t stop until he was right in front of her. “Hey, Cas. Ryan.”

  Cassie didn’t say anything, just smiled. Not that she would know what to say anyway.

  “Hey, man. How’d studio go today?” Ryan asked.

  “Went all right.” Thrand leaned in a little closer. He cocked his head toward the rest of the band. “You know you’re better than that?”

  “I like playing live.” Ryan shrugged.

  Thrand snorted. “To get the girls.”

  Ryan winked at her and grinned. “Of course. Why else?”

  “Of course,” Cassie added, enjoying the banter between the two.

  Thrand slapped Ryan on the back and turned those intense gray eyes on her. “Ryan is a damn good guitar player and fair singer.”

  “Fair? Dude, that’s all you’re giving me?”

  Thrand’s laugh was a deep chuckle that left goose bumps on her skin. “Sorry, man. All you’re getting.”

  “Not everyone can be as good as you.”

  “While you boys argue over who’s better, I should get back to work. Good luck with the girls, Ryan.” She returned his wink and grabbed another empty glass on the way to the bar.

  Chapter 6

  As Cassie walked off, Thrand’s muscles tensed, ready to demand Lila give her a new shirt. The one Lila had altered for her slipped completely off one shoulder and the bottom was just a ragged edge, giving a glimpse of tanned flesh. Her honeyed locks were pulled up in a ponytail, wispy bangs hung slightly in her eyes. All it did was bring out those greens that landed on him now and then while she worked.

  “Like that, huh?”

  “What?” Thrand looked at Ryan, confused.

  “Dude, I saw you with her Saturday night, remember? You might want to change the ‘friend’ term when you introduce her to people.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Thrand was still so wrapped up in what happened last night he was having trouble following anything. Even his drum work had been off today.

  “It doesn’t matter who she was. Cam’s sister or not, if you feel like that, you need to do something about it. A girl like that won’t be alone long.”

  “It does matter that she’s Cam’s sister. And she’s just a friend,” Thrand said, not wanting to think about her hooking up with someone else.

  “Only if you’re sure.” Ryan went back to setting up.

  Thrand moved to the bar and sat down.

  Angel came over and put a beer in front of him.

  “Thanks,” he said absently, as he pried his eyes away from Cas to look at Angel who was glaring at him.

  “All this time, the other girls never bothered me ‘cause I knew all I had to do was wait. But she’s the one.” Tears brimmed in the girl’s eyes but didn’t fall.

  Thrand opened his mouth, but he wasn’t sure what to say.

  “She’s just a friend,” he muttered. Was he trying to convince himself at this point?

  “No, Thrand. I’m just a friend. Figure out the difference.” She fled toward the back room, leaving him staring after her, wondering what the hell he’d done.

  It wasn’t two seconds before Mick was there, glaring at him. “Anything you need to tell me?”

  Thrand lowered his beer and sighed. Sure, he’d talked to Angel, a lot he realized. But he’d never seen her as anything other than a friend. Just a nice girl…who had paid a lot of attention to him. Knew his favorite beer. Had even chipped in advice when he’d been working on lyrics while at the bar. They’d never dated but they had gone for coffee.

  Ah, fuck.

  “No, Mick. I would never do that. You know that.” He rubbed at his chin and shook his head. “I had no idea—”

  Mick held up his hand. “I didn’t think you did but had to double-check. Angel is back there, throwing out the trash and cussing you a blue streak. Not really like her.”

  How many times today would he be struck dumb? “Honestly, I had no clue.”

  Mick smirked as he grabbed a few beers for customers. “You were the only clueless one.”

  That was about all he could take. He got up and walked out the door without looking back.

  *

  When Cassie stepped through the door, furious drumming echoed through the house. She dropped the keys on the kitchen counter, sauntered to her room and leaned against the doorframe to watch Thrand pound away.

  Shirtless, his muscles strained and accentuated the full tattooed sleeve on his left arm. The sound was deafening in the tiny room. His eyes were closed, and sweat dripped off him like he had been at it for a while.

  Her heart pounded. The anger he poured into his kit was as frightening as it was enticing. She wasn’t sure what had made him so furious, but she couldn’t look away. So oblivious and lost in his own world, he sucked her in with it.

  He stopped suddenly and stared at her.

  Oh hell. He was mad at her.

  She swallowed hard and clenched her hands, waiting for the hateful words she knew had to be coming. Although she had no idea what she’d done.

  He tossed his sticks and stalked toward her. She backed up against the doorframe and clung to it. She wasn’t short, but with him breathing heavy, his eyes almost black with rage, he towered over her. She lifted her chin and stared right back. No way in hell would she cower.

  “You,” he said and pointed at her. “It’s all your fault. Turning my world upside down in only five fucking days. I was happy. Content with what I was doing, where I was. Then you waltz in and rip it all apart.”

  Her fingers dug into the doorframe for support and tears strangled her. He was going to throw her out, and she had nowhere to go.

  He rubbed his head and dropped his arms, fury glittering in his darkened gaze. “I didn’t get a fucking wink of sleep last night. All I could think about was you and your damn green eyes. Your words that dug up all the shit I wanted to leave buried.”

  “Fine. I’m sorry. I’ll leave,” she said.

  “You think it’s that easy? That you can walk out as quickly as you came in and everything will fall back into place?” He laughed bitterly. “I’ll always be haunted by whatever your dad did to you. And I’ll never be able to wipe from my mind what I did to Cam’s little sister.”

  Stunned, Cassie shoved his sweaty chest, which was so close—too close—to her.

  “I’m not just Cameron’s little sister, and we didn’t do a damn thing.” Enraged, she pushed him again so he backed against the door. “I’m Cassie Rose Dalton, a grown woman who has lived through hell to get to this point. You better get that through your thick skull, Thrand Cornelius Medlam. If you can’t recognize that, then that’s your problem. And your loss.”

  He said nothing. Just stood there with a dazed expression. She wanted to shake him. Kiss him
senseless. Force him to admit she was right. She was more than what he refused to see.

  Then the fucking doorbell rang. She spun on her heel, picked up the keys, and flung open the door.

  Ryan’s smile disappeared when she scowled at him.

  On impulse, she grabbed his head and kissed him with every ounce of anger she possessed. Then, just as quickly, she thrust him away and stalked out the door. Tears blurred her eyes as she wiped at her lips. The only lips she wanted were Thrand’s.

  “What the hell—” Cassie heard Ryan mutter right before she fired up Thrand’s truck and peeled out of the driveway.

  Cassie sat at a corner table in Booseys. A few shots of whiskey did nothing to wipe out the words Thrand had so carelessly tossed at her. She was waiting for Lila to get off because she didn’t have anyone else to talk to, and she was tipsy enough to need someone.

  What she really needed was a new place to stay, but with very limited funds, her choices were nil. She could ask Lila, and would if it came down to it, but even she knew she didn’t really want to leave Thrand’s house. She knew where she wanted to be, but she had to be wanted in return.

  Lila fell into a chair beside her. “All right girlfriend, what’s going on? You look like someone just shot your dog.”

  She sulked at the petite redhead and puzzled on where to start. She opened her mouth several times before anything would come out.

  “Thrand only sees me as his best friend’s kid sister. I’m more than that. I know he knows it, but right now, denial is his mantra. I didn’t get free of that hell I was in just to be pigeonholed into some role that doesn’t exist anymore.” She dropped her head to the table on a groan. “Why the hell did I get stranded here? And to have him, of all people, end up saving my ass? I wish I’d never seen him again.”

  Lila snorted. “Really? I don’t believe that for a minute.”

  “You can’t be serious. This is a mess. It’s just my continued bad luck that I run into him after finally being free.”

  “So? Then you would never have known for sure.”