FUEL (DirtSlap Series Book 1)

by Ashlynn Pearce

  He leaned one arm casually on the bar. His tattooed sleeve emphasized the muscles in his arms. She picked at her food. She was hungry but off-kilter being in his home again. Being near him. Not being able to voice how she felt was suffocating, and after their last words, he’d made it quite clear what he thought about her.

  “Come on, Cas. Eat.” His voice almost pleaded and she turned to see him watching her, his brows furrowed, his mouth pressed into a frown. She barely kept herself from reaching out to touch those lips.

  To hide her trembling hand, she shoved it into her hair. She gazed back at her food, did what he wanted, and drank the orange juice he’d poured for her. She didn’t look up until she was done.

  “I called Mick. You’re schedule is clear for the next few days, so don’t worry about it.” His back was to her while he set the dishes in the sink. “But you already knew that. From what Mick said you’re lucky he hasn’t fired you already.”

  “Why am I here?” She balled up her hands.

  He turned and placed his hands on the island. “Because you need to rest, and we need to get shit sorted.”

  His stare bored into her and his jaw clenched.

  Heat filled her face as she got up. “I didn’t ask to come here. You—”

  “Stop.” He held up his hand in warning. “Just tell me one thing. Why couldn’t you answer your phone? Or text? Why couldn’t you talk to me instead of painting the town red and scaring the hell out of me?”

  Her temper rose, until he admitted that she had scared him, which made her pause. But was it some lingering brother-syndrome he harbored? “I honestly didn’t think there was anything left to say. And I’m a big girl. I don’t need you hovering around.”

  His stare turned icy. “Really? Is that why you had Ryan saving your ass all the time? Because you could take care of yourself? And I really don’t want to get into the fact that you called him instead of me.”

  “I didn’t want to be your guilt trip, Thrand. And I sure as hell didn’t want you to think it was all some sort of payback.” She snapped back.

  He shook his head. “I want the real reason you didn’t answer me or call me. I don’t want any more bullshit.”

  Her eyes widened as he came around the island, and backed her up to the wall. He placed his hands on either side of her, effectively trapping her. She swallowed, realizing she hadn’t seen this side of him. She clenched her fist. How little could she reveal and still pacify him?

  She sucked in her lower lip while her heart thumped. She wanted to lie. Tell him to fuck off, that she didn’t need him.

  “You hurt me. You hurt me like no else ever has. I didn’t know how to handle it.” That was so much more than she ever intended to say, and the truth was somehow uglier than the lie.

  His arms fell to his sides. “Why couldn’t you just talk to me? I never meant to hurt you.”

  “I didn’t have the best examples of how to deal with things. It’s not like I could talk it out with my old man after he hit me.” She choked and studied the floor. She couldn’t look at him. She’d handled this all wrong. She should have answered him. Making love with him had opened her up in ways she didn’t understand. So his words, just hours later, ripped her apart. She hadn’t known what to do with it all.

  He muttered a curse, laced his fingers behind his neck, and looked up. She fidgeted with the leather cuff, as she peeked at him. The way he moved made her insides turn and twitch. She wanted to touch him. Wanted his arms around her.

  He dropped his hands and focused on her. His eyes darkened. “Don’t look at me like that, Cassie.”

  She turned away. Looked at anything but him. No need to ask how she was looking at him. Hell, she knew—because it was thrumming through her like a song she couldn’t turn off. She’d missed him. Their one night together had been a dream and a horror show all wrapped up in pretty paper.

  Before she could move, his hand brushed along her jaw, forcing her to meet his gaze. Anguish reflected back at her. “Please tell me how bad it was. I have to know. Because I know how bad it was with Cam. He hid it from you, but he didn’t from me.”

  Thrand was so close and the rough pads of his fingers made her quake.

  “You don’t need to know. It’s over,” she whispered. No one needed to know the hell. She didn’t want to relive it. “All it will do is make you feel guilty for leaving. And you don’t need any more guilt.”

  He leaned his forehead against hers. Cupped her face, and she felt the tremors run through him as his jaw worked.

  Heat spiraled through her, making her legs wobble. No matter how mad she was at him, there was no way she could deny this. She grabbed fistfuls of his shirt, and stared into his eyes, hoping he could see her. Really see her.

  His stormy eyes returned her stare. His breath was hot and fast against her lips. So close, but he held back.

  “Dammit, Thrand. Kiss me already.” Tears filled her eyes.

  His lips landed on hers, tenderly. He kissed each corner of her lips and her jaw. So slow, while his hands held her face firmly in place. His touch was feather light and gentle. Her heart expanded as her breath hitched.

  Fast. Hard. Wild—was what she wanted…needed. This slow reverence wasn’t something she knew how to handle. She yanked him, bringing his body flush up against hers as she bit at his lips. His response was immediate, his lips slanting hard over hers. Tongue thrusting and demanding entrance. She opened gladly, letting herself get lost in him. No thinking required.

  He grabbed both her hips, lifted, and forced her to lock her legs around his waist while he pinned her against the wall. Arching her hips, a thrill shot through her knowing how much he wanted her. Whatever his reservations, he couldn’t stop this.

  He nuzzled her neck, his lips next to her ear, while he pressed and moved against her. She wanted his skin so badly. Her hand dipped into the neck of his shirt, feeling his shoulders bunch and flex with each grind. He fucked her through her clothes and she panted, on the verge of combustion.

  “How many, Cassie?” he growled. “Just give me a number. Because I can’t seem to get images out of my head.”

  She stilled and her eyes flew open, but he was having none of it. His teeth bit and nipped along her neck, sending little shocks of electricity through her. One of his hands had slipped under the hem of her shorts and gripped her bare ass.

  “What?” she asked, coherent thought almost impossible.

  “Did they make you feel like this?” His finger had slipped easily between her legs, and she gasped, clinging to him so she didn’t fall.

  A part of her was pissed that he expected answers in such a way, but then he stilled and pulled his head back to stare at her. She tried to move, but he held her still.

  She licked her lips and put her heart in his hands.

  “I found a line I couldn’t cross.” Not that she hadn’t tried. But no one measured up to him. He was her world whether she liked it or not.

  His eyes lit up. “Only me?”

  “Oh god. It’s always been only you.” Her heart splintered, as he demanded it all without giving her anything.

  “Thank fuck.”

  He kissed her hard, one then two fingers moving easily in and out. She broke the kiss and panted his name as he watched her through hooded eyes. Intense. Hard. He ordered her without a word. She shook as she came apart in his arms.

  Somehow, he got them upstairs. She wasn’t really paying attention. Her world was still spinning out of control. She didn’t have a chance to catch her breath, because his hands were pulling her at clothes, his mouth landing on every inch of her skin as it was exposed. She wasn’t sure if she helped him strip or if he did it himself. All that mattered was that they were skin to skin.

  If she thought their first night was magical, it was nothing compared to this. It was like he knew every secret. Made her body crave more. He rolled to his back, letting her straddle him.

  She drank in the sight of him. He was stouter than any alcohol she’d consu
med. His eyes were heavy lidded, and his breath heavy, as her fingertips traced his chest and the tattoos that spread down his arm.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said softly, and his hands slid up her waist to cup her breasts. With his hands on her body but his eyes on her face, her heart skipped a beat. He sat up and captured her mouth with his. So demanding one moment and tender the next, she couldn’t keep up. He leaned over, and there was a tearing of paper. She snatched the condom out of his hand and pushed him flat.

  She bit her lip, not sure if she knew how to do this, but gently rolled it over his length. He hissed and she ran her hand down him again.

  She rose and slammed down on him.

  Fuck nice and easy.

  *

  “Holy shit, Cas.” Thrand grabbed her hips and held her still. She stuck out her bottom lip then tightened her muscles around him. He panted. “Easy.”

  He tried to make her slow down, but she was having none of it and rocked on him.

  Her hair was a tangled mess of honey, her body flushed as she arched her head back when she moaned. He was a goner. She braced her hands on his chest and moved, making her kiss swollen lips part. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she rode him. When she breathed his name, he flipped her and drove in hard.

  She annihilated every good intention he had for being nice and gentle. Her legs slid high around his waist, making his drive deeper. She screamed his name, her hands clutching his arms, and it was all over for him. He dropped his head to her chest and breathed her in.

  She did something to his brain and all common sense seemed to exit the building. That she had only been with him played like a melody. He had never meant to seem crass when he demanded to know who else she had been with, but she sent him right over the edge of sanity. He didn’t even want to think about what he would have done if she had a number.

  It didn’t matter because her arms were wrapped around him and she was safe.

  The rest of the night was spent memorizing everything about her. The dips and hollows, the way her legs slid against his. He reveled in all the ways she said his name. Sometimes begging, sometimes demanding, sometimes challenging. Always surprising him. She wasn’t shy.

  And with him, there wasn’t a line she wouldn’t cross.

  Those expressive eyes revealed every emotion that flickered like flames in her mind. She gave him everything. Like everything else she did, she did it wide ass open, not holding anything back.

  The words she didn’t have to say wormed their way in and took a firm hold. He wouldn’t name them. He couldn’t. Even thought her feelings were crystal clear.

  His were a muddled mess.

  He blocked all thoughts of Cam and what he might or might not think.

  Or at least Thrand tried, too.

  But daylight had a way of slapping you in the face.

  Chapter 12

  Cassie headed downstairs late the next morning. She didn’t know what to expect this time. Thrand was full of contradictions. One minute, he seemed totally into her, and the next, she saw shadows of doubt and guilt in his eyes. He couldn’t have it both ways. She wouldn’t sit quietly while she was someone’s guilt trip.

  Lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t notice until she reached the ground floor, that Thrand wasn’t alone. Ryan and two other guys were with him. When a big guy with black hair let out a whistle, she belatedly realized all she wore was Thrand’s tee. It covered her well enough, but she shoved at her disheveled hair and met Thrand’s eyes with a small smile.

  “Hi. Sorry, I didn’t know we had company.”

  Thrand got up, walked to her, and placed a light kiss on her temple. She couldn’t read his thoughts, but he turned toward the guys as he stood next to her. “This is our band.”

  “Ryan told me about it.” She glanced at Ryan, but he barely looked at her.

  A muscle ticked in Thrand’s jaw. “Of course. This is Ethan, our singer, and Zak, our bassist.”

  Ethan stood, and she couldn’t help but stare. He was big. Broad shoulders, big arms and insanely tall. His black hair was in a messy spike and he had almost black eyes. It matched the whole rock vibe he had going on, complete with gauges, tattoos—a lot of tattoos, and a lip ring. When he smiled the hottest dimples she’d ever seen flashed at her. She blinked at the devilish twinkle in his eyes. She might be totally into Thrand, but she wasn’t blind. Talk about sex on a stick.

  “Hi, darlin’,” he said in a very southern Georgian accent that rolled smoothly off a pierced tongue.

  Her mouth dropped open. Thrand nudged her and cocked a brow.

  She flushed. “Sorry, but have you noticed he sounds nothing like he looks?”

  Thrand smirked. “Guys, this is Cassie.”

  “Didn’t know you had a girl, man. Nice to meet you, Cassie,” Ethan said.

  Zak sat in a chair with a bass in his lap and gave her a slight wave. He had the same vibe as Ethan but was leaner. His shoulder length, brown hair hung in his face, so she couldn’t tell much else.

  Confused, Cassie looked at Thrand. “I thought you played country?”

  He grinned, excitement in his gray eyes. “Yeah, but with a twist.”

  Cassie snorted and pointed at Ethan. “Well, clearly. How else would you explain that?”

  Ethan had sat back down and laughed. “Blunt, isn’t she?”

  “You have no idea.”

  “I told you all about the band, Cas. And I told you what we played.” Accusation laced Ryan’s words.

  “You probably did. Sorry. A lot going on.” Ryan would know. He was there for most of it, but she wondered at his frown. Thrand tensed and slid a hand to the back of her neck. She glanced back and forth between them as Thrand and Ryan glared at each other.

  “What the hell is going on?” They were supposed to be best friends. Instead, they looked like a two dogs with their hackles raised.

  It was Ryan’s turn to blink, his laugh anything but pleasant. “You gotta be kidding me. You don’t know, Cassie? Are you that blind?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to piece everything together.

  “Ryan, let it go,” Thrand said deceptively quiet.

  “Thrand, are you mad at Ryan about me hiding from you? ‘Cause if you are, you need to stop right there. That was my fault. You were right. I should have talked to you. Don’t be mad at him.”

  “I forgave him for that already.” His eyes were still glued to Ryan, like he was daring him. To do what? Cassie had no idea.

  “Fine. I get it. Back the fuck off.” Ryan was seated in a chair, and he abruptly got up. “I’ll be back later.”

  He slammed the door on the way out.

  Cassie was at a loss and placed hands on her hips. She glanced at Ethan for answers, as if he’d know. “Little girl, if you don’t get that they were fighting over you, then you need a reality check.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, that’s just stupid.”

  “Tell you what. Me and Zak are gonna take off, too. Text us when you’re ready to play. Later.”

  With that, they left her alone with a very agitated Thrand, if his clenched fists were any indication.

  “Is there something I’m missing?” Cassie asked him.

  “You really have no idea, do you? You call him, asking him help you. Watching you drink yourself stupid and no telling what you told him. He said you were having nightmares on top of everything. What did you think was going to happen, Cassie?”

  She shook her head. The only thing she’d talked about was Thrand and her feelings for him. But at least the nightmares were gone. “No. He doesn’t like me. We’re just friends.”

  “No, sweetheart. He likes you a lot more than that. He only brought you to me when he thought you would end up killing yourself or get hurt.”

  She backed up a step, feeling the blood drain from her face.

  “I wouldn’t have killed myself. I might get stupid sometimes, but I would never do that.” She gripped the leather cuff as tears
threatened. “And I don’t like him that way. He knows that.”

  “You’re right. He does. Because you’re with me.”

  “Don’t go all caveman on me. He knows because I told him I—” She stopped herself and turned away. He certainly didn’t need that ammo to use on her.

  “What? Told him what?”

  She felt him step in close behind her, his hands brushed her hair aside to expose her neck. She inhaled sharply when his lips touched the sensitive spot at her shoulder.

  “That you’re mine?” he asked and nipped at her skin.

  She closed her eyes. Damn the man and the way he made her feel. She whirled around. “Am I? Because last I checked, you were still hung up on the whole your-my-best-friend’s-sister thing.”

  He sighed and rubbed at the scruff on his face, like he did when nervous. “I’m working on it.”

  “You’re working on it? Really?” She clenched her fists and had the urge to knock the hell out of him. “Maybe you need more space to get it figured out.”

  She stomped to her room, flung open the door…or what used to be her room. The bed was gone, and the room was full of music equipment.

  She turned her glare on him. “Where’s my bed?”

  He smiled and shrugged. “In the garage. We needed the space.”

  “So where am I supposed to sleep?”

  His gaze darkened and he cocked his head, his smirk devastating her senses. “Where do you think?”

  “Really?” The thought of sleeping with him every night, well yeah, made her insides turn to jelly, but he didn’t need to know that. “How about you sleep on the couch.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot.

  *

  Thrand stared at the woman. There she stood, wearing his shirt that was barely long enough to cover her ass, exposing those long-ass legs that had been wrapped around his waist last night. And now she was pissed about sleeping with him? “Is there anything you won’t argue about?”

  Her lips twitched as she tried not to smile and he had a hard time not laughing. She shoved her hair back and pursed her lips. “Not my fault. You’re easy to argue with.”