by L. B. Reyes
I winced at his bluntness, but that didn't stop him.
“Then, I understood, you were depressed because she had just passed but now, now it's over the company and work and all that bullshit.”
“I have things to do,” I replied, equally angry.
“And I understand that.” Nathan looked like he was barely hanging on to the threads of control, quickly losing it. “But I refuse to watch you kill yourself over it. I refuse to watch you lose yourself, lose the very essence of who you are. I'm not asking you to take an hour off so we can go fuck, I'm asking you to take a break for your health, Evelyn, not for me.”
I scoffed. In many ways, I knew he was right. I could barely even catch a breath, my eyes stayed glued to the computer for the better part of the day and if I wasn't at school I was running around trying to get things settled.
“If I'm so much like Hannah then why the hell are you still here?”
Nathan’s voice didn’t hide his frustration. “You're fucking kidding me.”
“Tell me,” I said. “Go on and tell me. Is it the money?” I ignored the pained look on his face. That was the worst thing I could have said at that moment, but it was already out.
“You don't trust me.”
“Well, you think I'm like my sister, so surely the only reason you can be with me is money. You could barely tolerate her so—”
“It's because I love you,” he interrupted.
My eyes widened, my breath caught in my throat.
He loved me.
And I had just said perhaps one of the most painful things I could have said to him.
Unable to find words to say, I threw myself into his arms, kissing him with all the anger and confusion within me, and all the love I also felt. He groaned deep in his throat, kissing me back fervently without holding back. He was angry, I could feel it but he needed me as much as I needed him.
I made quick work of his sweatpants and he did of the shorts I wore, unzipping them and lowering them along with my panties.
“I fucking love you,” he whispered, lips traveling down my jaw, nipping and biting at the skin there. I moaned softly when his hand went between my legs and he verified how ready I was for him.
I always was.
He lifted me up, my legs wrapping around his waist as he sat on the sofa with me straddling him. I sunk on him, throwing my head back in pure bliss at the feeling of him inside me. He raised my shirt over my head, leaving me completely bare and naked, his mouth latching on to an erect nipple.
Meanwhile, my hips worked above him, slowly engulfing him over and over again, embedding the sounds of his pleasure in my memory. He leaned his head back, watching me intently with eyes that were dark with desire, full of lust…loving. Nathan looked at me as if I was the most beautiful woman in the world, and with him, I felt it.
A delighted cry of pleasure left my lips when his thumb circled my clit, and I lost my rhythm, one that he soon took over with deep, upward thrusts. I gripped his shoulders, fingers digging into hard muscle as I contracted around him, blinding pleasure consuming me like a fire, burning me without control. I collapsed on him as he continued thrusting, searching for his own release and when he found it, we simply held each other, with the sound of our erratic breathing surrounding us.
He ran a hand down my back before cupping my face, forcing me to look at him. He was conflicted and hurt. I could see it. Averting my gaze, I tried to not see what I'd caused by my words, however, he didn't let me.
“I love you, Evelyn,” he said with a sad smile. “I've loved you and I don't even know when it happened, but I do. But if you don't trust me, this won't work. And you don't trust me.”
“Yes I do,” I whispered.
“Do you really? It was more than obvious you don't…” He sighed, searching my face for any hope, any sign that I did trust him. “The first thing you thought was that, so tell me, how is this supposed to work?”
“I didn't mean to.”
“I'm trying to look out for you,” Nathan’s fingers touched my cheek with a tender caress. “I can't stand the sight of you burying yourself in work and school so much that your health is being affected, Evie. I admire what you're trying to do, but the way you're not taking care of yourself. I don't approve of and I won't stand by it. And trust, trust is the one thing we need between us and if it isn't there.”
I swallowed. “I love you too.”
He smiled warmly, caressing my cheek. “I know, Evie. But that's not the problem.”
“I do trust you,” I replied. “I was just angry and I…I wasn't thinking straight. I trust you, Nathan.”
He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, tongue grazing my lip as he tasted me. Sighing, I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Next time we argue, because there will be a next time, let’s wait until we calm down to speak, hm?”
I nodded, nuzzling my face in his neck.
“So you love me?” I asked, unable to hide the smile on my face. He chuckled quietly, tightening his hold around me.
“That's not how I was going to tell you…but yes, I love you, Evelyn. That’s why I worry.”
“I know,” I said quietly. “I'll stop for the rest of the day, but tomorrow I have to finish—”
“I understand that, okay? Just take some time for yourself, Evie. That's all I ask for, take care of yourself.”
“Let's go to Tessa's and have dinner there,” I suggested, meeting his gaze. “We can take Carter too? Oh and Jenna and—”
“And David and his wife and all your friends, yes, whatever you want.” Nathan laughed. “Let’s just get you out of here for a while, okay?”
After getting ready, Nathan and I left the house right when my sister was arriving. She was probably just getting her things so we paid no attention to it and drove off to Tessa's. It was by far one of the most fun and amazing nights I had in my life. Everything was perfect, surrounded by people that I loved and cared about me, about us.
Full of smiles and laughter, I felt the happiest I had in a while. It was beautiful.
Perfect.
Much too perfect to last forever.
CHAPTER 34
Evelyn
My lips parted, savoring the feel of Nathan's lips on my bare back. It was an early morning; I had school in two hours and he had a class to give, but for the time being, all that mattered was us and the bed.
“That feels nice,” I mumbled when his hands joined in, massaging the tense muscles of my shoulders. I bit my lip, trying to suppress a moan that still escaped as a whimper. Nathan stopped, hands stilling over my still aching muscles.
“You should try not to make noises like that if you want to keep it at just a massage,” he warned.
I hummed, a smile playing to my lips. “If you keep going with the massage you just might get something else,” I teased. “Maybe.”
His low chuckle filled my ears and his hand traveled down, squeezing the soft skin of my ass before going between my legs. I gasped, groaning when he slid a finger in without much trouble.
“Don't act like you have the upper hand here, Evie,” he said, his voice husky.
Within a few short minutes, he showed me who did have the upper hand, making me forget all about the busy day we had ahead of us.
***
Nathan laced his fingers with mine as he drove to the university. I couldn't help but feel giddy, being with him was perfect. We were flawed and in many ways had a lot of growing up to do, but we both wanted to grow up and old together. There was still a long road ahead of us.
I looked down at our hands, the bracelet he'd recently given me sparkling underneath the shine of the sun. Nathan had given it to me a few days ago after our argument and his “I love you” confession. It wasn't fancy, it wasn't one of those extravagant jewelry pieces that would catch the attention of anyone. But he'd given it to me and for that, it was much more significant than the most expensive pieces of jewelry in the world.
I smiled, thinking
back to that night.
Nathan hugged me from behind, resting his chin on my head. We were watching our friends talk: David conversing calmly with his wife and Tessa, their conversation flowing easily despite the different worlds they were from.
Carter had just formed a friendship with the bikers, giving them tips on how to care for their bikes. It turned out that Carter had been part of that very same biker group years ago.
I just couldn't picture it.
And Nathan was holding me, kissing me…treating me like a queen.
After our argument, we'd realized how stupid it had been. Both of us stressed and worried for different reasons had made us act impulsively and say things we didn't mean. I didn't want that to happen again, neither of us did.
“I love being with you like this,” I whispered with a sigh.
“I do too, Evelyn.”
He cleared his throat, turning me around with a cautious smile.
“I have something for you,” he said, taking a box out of his pocket.
I felt the color rise up to my cheeks, but deciding to mask my nervousness with a joke I said, “Now, Mr. Maxwell. You haven't even gotten divorced, you can't go around making proposals all over the place.”
Nathan snorted, giving me a mock glare.
“Very funny, Evie.” He opened up the box, the sparkling of a small bracelet catching my eye. In the middle of the bar, he took it out, gently gripping my wrist and caressing it before putting it on me.
“Carpe diem.” I smiled, reading the inscription on it.
He tilted my chin up, a proud smile on his face. “I thought it was fitting, given our situation. I don't know what my future holds, but I see you in it.” His gaze was loving. Tender. “I only see you. For now, though, I want to enjoy every second and minute we have together, none of the rest matters. I promise, though, as soon as that divorce is signed by Hannah, I'm taking you away, starting my life with you, Evelyn, and I can't wait.”
I sniffled and he chuckled, wiping away a single tear. “You really shouldn't make me cry or Poison will beat your ass.” I laughed.
“Damn right, I will,” she said, appearing behind me. “You treating her right, Maxwell?”
“All the time,” he said, bringing me to his chest.
“Good man,” she winked, squeezing my shoulder. “Let me know if he causes trouble.”
I nodded, resting my head over the heart of the man I loved.
Even if we moved away, I knew we'd be visiting often. I couldn't stand the thought of not seeing the people with us at that moment again. They were our family, after all. They cherished us and we cherished them.
“I could stay like this forever,” I whispered, feeling his lips on my cheek.
“I was just thinking the same thing too,” he murmured.
“What are you smiling about?” Nathan's voice brought me back to the present. I looked around. To my disappointment, we were already at the university and our time together for the rest of the day was more than likely over.
I had an exam and a project to work on so I wouldn't be seeing him until the end of the day. It was okay, I knew at night we'd hold each other.
“How crazy these past months have been,” I replied, leaning against the headrest.
“Good crazy or bad crazy?”
“Both,” I replied. “But I think it's mostly good…I've learned a lot. I like to think I've grown up.”
Nathan nodded in agreement. “You have, faster than you should have, I think.”
“It's okay,” I said, pressing a kiss on his lips. “A lot of good things have come out of everything and I'm grateful for that.”
“I agree,” he smiled. “Now let’s get this day over with, Evie.”
We each went our separate ways with a kiss goodbye and long lasting hug. We were barely getting into a routine and although school was part of it, we both hated the disruption. I was ready to declare a major as well, finally, but with everything going on barely had time to really focus on anything.
Mike, my partner in my philosophy proved to be very efficient. We both were able to put together the project fairly quickly and would be ready to present by the next week.
I checked my phone throughout the day, and as strange as it was, I didn't receive a single message from Nathan. Not during lunch, not at all. It was odd, but I figured that perhaps he was busy. With it being finals week I knew that it would be difficult to focus on anything but school. Still, I felt like something was off.
At the end of the day, I went to the cafeteria, bought a coffee, and sat down to study my much-neglected classes. I managed to go through the notes for a class, from top to bottom and felt good about the upcoming test.
“Evelyn Carson,” I looked up, stiffening at the voice. I despised it.
But I refused to be scared.
“What do you want, Josh?”
“I hear you're running the Carson Company now. Must be cool to be on the throne.”
I rolled my eyes, not bothering to even spare him a glance. “Anything is better than being a dick like you.”
He snorted and his friend chuckled. They obviously found something amusing that I wasn't aware of.
“I like feisty you,” Josh said, resting his hands on the table. I was thankful that there were others in the cafeteria, but how many of them would actually do something if Josh tried to hurt me?
“Scatter, boys,” came a voice from behind me. I jumped back, startled.
Josh glared at the man behind me. “I'll see you around, Carson.”
“You okay?”
Professor Lanthorn took a seat across from me, setting his laptop on the table. I nodded and he followed with his gaze Josh and his friend who kept looking back.
“Thanks for getting them to leave,” I said.
“You really shouldn't be on campus on your own, especially at night.”
“I'm, uh, actually waiting for someone,” I explained. Professor Lanthorn raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“Is it him by any chance?”
He gestured across the cafeteria were Nathan stood speaking on his phone, a serious expression on his face.
“Yeah, it's him.”
Nathan walked over to us and I just couldn't decipher what was happening. He didn't look like himself; he smiled but it seemed forced. Unnatural.
“Hey,” I said with a smile.
“Hey,” Nathan said. He greeted Professor Lanthorn with a single nod.
“Maxwell, right?”
“Right,” Nathan said.
“Congratulations on your nomination for head of the art department. Big step.”
I looked between both men in confusion. “Head of the department?”
“Yeah,” Nathan pressed his lips together. “Thank you.”
My professor grimaced, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. “All right, I guess I just said something I shouldn't have said so I'm getting out of here.”
“It's okay,” Nathan said. “Have a good evening.”
He nodded, walking away while Nathan and I turned in the opposite direction, out the doors and in search for his car. Not making any attempt for conversation, we drove to the house in complete silence. It was tense.
Threatening.
Dangerous.
“So you got nominated for head of the department?” I asked, smiling warmly.
Nathan nodded without looking my way.
“That's good,” I said. “I mean, I can see why you'd be frustrated considering our thoughts to move to New York City, but we don't have to. If you want to take the job here I don't mind staying.”
We stopped at a red light and he finally turned around, his gaze softening and his lips tilting up to a small smile. It didn't meet his eyes.
“No, it's not that, Evie.”
I frowned. “What is it then?”
Nathan swallowed, taking my hand in his and caressing the back of it with his thumb. “Let's get to the house first, okay?”
The drive couldn't have gone by fast
er. It took too long, the anxiety was eating me up. As terrified as I was, I needed to know what was going on.
If Nathan wanted to stay, I didn't mind. I'd gladly stay with him if that was he wanted. Something told me that whatever was on his mind was more serious than that and I dreaded it.
When we arrived at the house he guided me in, placing his hand on the small of my back. We walked inside and as soon as we were there, he set his briefcase down and ran a hand over his face. He looked so tired.
“What's wrong?” I asked him softly, placing a hand on his cheek.
He pressed his lips together, eyes roaming my face slowly as if memorizing my features, memorizing the way I was looking at him.
He knew I wouldn't look at him the same after that.
Placing a hand over the one I had on his cheek, he squeezed it, moving it away from his face and placing it to my side so that I wasn't touching him. I frowned, confused.
Finally, he cleared his throat and shook his head. “Listen, Evelyn, there's no easy way to say this but I uh, I think we need a break.”
CHAPTER 35
Evelyn
My pulse thundered in my ears. I must have been hearing wrong. Nathan must have sensed my confusion. I could tell by the way he gulped audibly. He shoved his hands in his pockets and stepped back, leaning against the wall.
“What are you talking about?” I crossed my arms over my chest. The house suddenly felt cold. Empty.
“There's shit I need to settle, Evelyn and I'm just…I'm not sure how this all will work out.”
I felt my vision blurring. Just that morning everything had been okay; he'd told me how much he loved me so the words that were leaving his mouth made no sense to me. Nothing did.
“I—I don't understand,” I said, trying to remain calm. “Is it because of that offer you got? Because I truly don't mind staying. I understand if you want to pursue your career here.”
“Whether we stay or we leave it's the same,” he said through gritted teeth.
He pushed himself away from the wall and sighed. Nathan looked so torn and confused.
