Love Songs and Lullabies

by Amy Vastine

  Faith pressed her lips together and her eyebrows shot up.

  “What? You don’t think so?”

  “I think you’re being very optimistic that he’s going to loosen his hold over Piper once the baby is born.”

  Maybe she was right. Heath’s behavior during this entire ordeal was exactly why he hadn’t fought her about wanting to end the relationship. Piper was completely under her father’s thumb and too willing to put her career before everything else in her life.

  Even if she truly had entertained the idea of being in a relationship back then, Sawyer would have regretted it in the end. He wanted to be like his father without having to make the same mistakes. Falling in love with someone who wouldn’t stick it out in the long run was one he absolutely wanted to avoid.

  “I don’t know what’s going to happen,” Sawyer said. “I only know I hate being disingenuous. It makes me feel like my emotions are everywhere and nowhere at the same time. I don’t even know how I really feel about anything, because I’m so busy trying to make sure I act like I feel the way I am supposed to feel.”

  Faith stopped cooking and sat down next to her brother. “I hate that. I am all for telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth. We both know that lying has never gotten me what I wanted. What do you want?”

  “I want to go on tour and play music.”

  “You’re going to do that.”

  “I want to have fun and not have to constantly think about whether or not what I do is going to ruin someone’s brand.”

  Faith frowned. “Piper’s brand.”

  “Piper’s brand, my brand, Grace Note’s brand. I didn’t realize this business was so complicated. I thought I was finally getting the chance to be me. Not the me Dad wanted me to be or the me you wanted me to be, but the me I wanted to be. Now I have to be the me Piper wants me to be so no one finds out who she really is.”

  “And who is that?”

  “I don’t even know!” Sawyer threw his hands up. “I’m not sure I’ve even met the real Piper. I’ve only caught glimpses of her. Everything about her is so calculated. She has to be this, that and everything else to keep everyone else happy.”

  “She seems so sweet and genuine.”

  “I’m not saying she’s not a good person. She cares about people. But she also cares too much about what they think. Sometimes I just want her to tell me what’s going on inside her head. She must have opinions that are only hers.”

  Faith put her hand on his. “She thought you two should be together while her dad was away. That was all her. She saw something in you.”

  Piper saw something in him, that’s for sure. Sawyer felt so naive for thinking he had been with the real Piper a couple months ago. It hadn’t taken her long to show him all he was good for were a few lyrics and melodies. Whatever boosted the Piper Starling brand was all that mattered. Faith propped her chin up on her hand. “I wish I knew what to tell you, but I’m just as lost as you are. I’m here for you whenever you need me, though. If you want to vent or scream or just be your weird self, you can always do that with me.”

  She warmed his heart. “Have I told you lately that you are my favorite sister ever?”

  “That would probably make me feel more special if I wasn’t your only sister, but I’ll take it.” Faith’s smile lit up her whole face as she went back to the kitchen island to finish chopping onions. “Maybe you should talk to Harriet tonight about the baby on the way,” she suggested. “She might have some words of wisdom.”

  Harriet was a dear family friend who had acted as a surrogate mother to the Stratton siblings after theirs left. She was big on personality and always willing to help without being intrusive.

  “That’s a good idea. I’m sure she’ll have some interesting opinions about all this.”

  Faith chuckled. “Oh, for sure.”

  * * *

  PIPER SLID THE charm on her necklace back and forth along the chain. By the end of the day, she needed to convince Sawyer’s friends she had won his heart. Her stomach was in knots as she rode in the back of the town car to the Strattons’ farm.

  Matthew squeezed just above her knee. “You okay?”

  “I’m fine,” she assured him. “I can’t wait for you to see all of Sawyer’s horses. They are so beautiful.”

  “I wish I could ride,” he said, staring out the window at the rolling hills.

  “We can feed them apples,” Piper said to console him. Sawyer had taken her to the stables to feed them when she was working on her album. He had kissed her for the first time in those stables. His lips had made her promises his heart couldn’t keep.

  The driver turned onto the dusty road that led to the farmhouse. The house where the baby growing in her belly had been conceived. It was also the place where Sawyer had rejected her. She touched her stomach. How different things would be if she had gone back to the bed-and-breakfast that night.

  “I hope they like pecan pie,” her mom said as they got out of the car. She wrapped an arm around Piper’s back. “I figured if I made your dad’s favorite, he’d stay through dessert.”

  Claudia was as smart as she was beautiful. Piper had always looked up to her mom as the epitome of patience and strength—besides being Matthew’s full-time caregiver, she wasn’t married to the most easygoing man. They had the same blond hair and blue eyes, but Piper couldn’t ever imagine being as fierce as her mother.

  “I hope I’m half the wife and mother you are someday,” Piper said, taking the pie from her. “Though I know I don’t have a prayer in the baking department.”

  Sawyer opened the front door before they even got to the porch. He wore jeans and an untucked forest green button-down shirt that was sure to irk her father, who thought holidays were formal affairs. His big dog barked at his side. Sawyer pushed the dog back into the house. He didn’t wait for an introduction, instead wrapping her mom in a big hug and welcoming her to his family farm.

  “It is so good to finally meet you,” he said. “Piper talks about you all the time, but she failed to mention that you could pass for her sister.”

  Claudia waved him off with a huge smile. “Oh, stop.”

  “You stop. You must hear that all the time.”

  Piper and Sawyer had talked about strategy and she’d told him winning over her mother was imperative. He had obviously listened. The charm was turned up to ten.

  “And you must be Matthew.”

  Matthew climbed the stairs and shook Sawyer’s hand. “Hurt my sister and I’ll hurt you.”

  Sawyer fumbled for something to say.

  Matthew patted him on the back, laughing. “I’m kidding. I’m a pacifist. I would never hurt anyone.”

  “That’s good,” Sawyer said with a sigh of relief.

  “Plus, she pays her huge security guys to handle that kind of stuff.” Matthew winked over his shoulder at his sister.

  “Don’t listen to him,” Piper said, handing him the pie. “He thinks he’s hilarious. We brought a pecan pie.”

  “I love pecan pie, so thank you.”

  Heath trailed behind his family. Sawyer wished him a happy Thanksgiving, but Heath wasn’t in the mood for niceties. “When someone tells you not to hurt Piper or else, you say you would never think about hurting her. That’s what a devoted fiancé would say.”

  Her dad had relentlessly corrected Sawyer for the last few weeks. She could tell Sawyer was only going to tolerate so much more of that.

  They entered the house, which was filled with the sounds of people talking and laughing. Sawyer had warned her that their family friends with no other place to go on the holidays came to the Strattons’ house every year. Sawyer’s dog gave them all a sniff before accepting that the Starlings were welcomed by the humans and therefore allowed to be there.

  They moved through the farmhouse, meeting the other guests as they went. Jesse
Keyes and Lily Peters were sitting in the front room. They both worked for Faith, Jesse as the therapy farm’s social worker and Lily as a teen volunteer. Sawyer had strongly suggested Piper not get too talkative with Jesse. He was scary good at getting people to tell him their secrets.

  Dean and his father, Ted, were filling the water glasses on the enormous dining room table that they had moved into the great room. Ted Presley was a supersized version of his son with blue eyes instead of green.

  In the kitchen, Faith was busy cooking with the help of several of the guests. The woman dressed in an olive tweed riding jacket and a burnt-orange beret embellished with a flowery appliqué was Harriet Windsor. They had met a couple of times when Piper was working on the album here, and Sawyer had made it clear she was one Piper needed to win over.

  “Can you imagine what Big John would say about all these famous people hanging around here these days? First Boone Williams, now Piper Starling. It’s nice to see you again, dear.”

  “You, too. Did you do the flowers out there?” Piper motioned toward the great room, where the table was decorated with the loveliest bouquets of bright yellow sunflowers, orange lilies and rusty roses.

  Harriet owned the flower shop in town and was very close to Sawyer and his sister. “Of course, I did. I might have overdone it a bit to impress a certain bride-to-be,” she mock whispered.

  Bride-not-to-be anytime soon was more like it. As lovely as the flowers were, it was unlikely that Sawyer’s family friend would agree to do the flowers for Piper’s wedding to someone else. If there ever was a someone else.

  “They’re gorgeous. You’re very talented. I can’t imagine Sawyer would want anyone other than you to do the flowers for his wedding.”

  “Sawyer’s wedding,” Hunter mused from the kitchen table, where he was putting the finishing touches on a black forest cake. “I can’t even believe we’re allowed to say those two words in the same sentence. Remember when you used to say you were never getting married, Sawyer?”

  He had said that? Piper was surprised.

  Sawyer drew in a long breath. “I know I said that in the past, but that was before I met Piper. Weren’t you one of the people who always told me that once I met the right woman, I would change my mind? Well, Piper is the right woman.”

  Faith’s friend Josie slid the sweet potatoes into the top section of the double oven. Josie Peters owned the Sundown Bar and Grill in town. She was also Lily’s mother. “You have to tell us how and when you proposed. I love a good proposal story.”

  Sawyer and Piper had practiced answering all of these questions, but he seemed flustered. Lying to a camera was one thing; lying to his family and friends was another.

  “His proposal was a little bit spontaneous,” Piper replied. “It was after the CAAs. We hadn’t seen each other for a bit between recording the album and the show.”

  “Seeing her and performing with her onstage just made me realize I never wanted to be apart from her again,” Sawyer jumped in. “I asked her to marry me backstage. I didn’t even have a ring.”

  Hunter’s creased brow was full of skepticism. “You’re telling me you were in love with her the whole time but never once let on there was something going on between you two?”

  “Guess he’s not the only Stratton who likes dating in secret,” Marilee Presley said. She was Dean’s mom. Dean and Faith had known each other most of their lives. They had secretly dated for a summer after Faith graduated from high school.

  “At least Sawyer didn’t wait twelve years to figure out she was the one. Unlike some people,” Josie said as Dean emerged from the great room.

  “What are we talking about?” he asked.

  “How Sawyer and Piper are moving at the speed of light with this engagement,” Hunter said. Piper hadn’t expected him to be the tough sell. “I thought I was your best friend, bro.”

  Sawyer squared up to Hunter. “What is your problem all of a sudden?”

  “How could you not tell me?”

  It was clear Sawyer had no answer for that.

  “That was probably because of me,” Piper’s dad said to help out. “They were apparently hiding from me. The less people who knew, the less likely I was to find out.”

  “Do you think they’re moving too fast?” Harriet asked Heath.

  “Why did this become an interrogation?” Dean asked. “Piper and Sawyer are in love. They want to get married. They are adults capable of making their own choices.”

  “Let’s get everything on the table,” Faith said. “Who’s hungry?”

  Much to Piper’s relief, that was all it took to shift everyone’s attention. Dean led the way into the other room. Sawyer and Piper hung back.

  “Sorry about that,” he said. “I didn’t realize we were walking into an inquisition.”

  “Hunter is your best friend. He was with us at the awards show. Of course he’s going to question how you could go from never wanting to get married to being engaged to someone he didn’t even know you were interested in. Because you weren’t.”

  It was disappointing that at no time when they were working on the album together had Sawyer spoken to his best friend about having any feelings for her. The way it had felt was so different from what it had apparently really been.

  “I hate lying,” he said.

  She hated it, too, but Piper needed this facade to hold strong. Once they announced her pregnancy, more people were going to question the romance. They had to be as convincing as possible to squash as many rumors as they could when the time came to tell the world about their baby.

  * * *

  THE THANKSGIVING MEAL was served, which thankfully distracted everyone from asking questions Sawyer didn’t want to answer. Instead, they were all busy devouring every last bite.

  Sawyer was happy to see Piper and her family fitting in with this quirky little makeshift family of his own. Harriet and Claudia chatted all through the meal. Dean and his dad kept Heath occupied. Josie and Faith helped make Piper feel welcome.

  Matthew didn’t say much, but he seemed to be enjoying the food. Sawyer had been told it was hard for her brother to follow what people were saying when there were multiple conversations going on at once. He also had word-retrieval issues, which embarrassed him in front of strangers.

  “Have you talked to Boone lately?” Jesse asked Sawyer as the meal was coming to an end. He wiped his mouth and set his napkin on the table. Boone and Jesse had spent a lot of quality time together when Boone was on the farm last summer.

  “Piper and I had dinner with him a couple days after the CAAs. He’s looking good. He seems very happy.”

  Jesse smiled. “You think Ruby has something to do with that?”

  “I would say she probably has a lot to do with that.”

  “Love changes a person. Of course, I’m preaching to the choir. You know all about that, don’t you?”

  Sawyer thought he knew what love felt like, but obviously he had been wrong. He glanced over at Piper sitting on his other side. She laughed at something Josie said. Her head fell back and her eyes closed. It had been a long time since he’d seen her laugh like that. Lately, all she did was frown or bite her lip with worry.

  “Is he okay?” Jesse asked. The concern in his voice got Sawyer’s attention. He looked back at Jesse, who was staring at Matthew.

  Piper and her mother took notice, as well. Matthew sat rigid in his seat. His eyes were fixed on the wall behind Faith’s head. He didn’t blink or move.

  “He’s okay,” his mother said. “He’s having a seizure. He’ll be okay.”

  Piper wrestled the fork out of her brother’s hand. The whole table went silent as everyone waited for the seizure to pass. Heath froze in his spot. After a minute or so, Matthew began to blink. Claudia kept asking him if he could hear her, but he didn’t respond.

  Sawyer hated feeling helpless. He d
idn’t know what to do or say, so he sat by and watched. The joy he had seen on Piper’s face a moment ago was completely erased by worry and fear.

  “Matthew has epilepsy,” Piper explained without making eye contact with anyone. Her voice was tight. “He’s having what we call an absence seizure. He’s going to be very embarrassed when he comes out of this. If you all could please keep eating and talking, it would help a lot.”

  Everyone did their best to go back to normal. Matthew eyes began to dart around. His breathing changed, quickening as he regained consciousness.

  “You’re okay,” his mom said. “We’re at Thanksgiving dinner with Piper and her fiancé. We’re in Grass Lake. You’re okay.”

  Piper started to hum “You Are My Sunshine” and Matthew’s body relaxed. She ran her fingers through the hair above his ear.

  “You’re okay,” Claudia continued to repeat. “We’re eating Thanksgiving dinner at Sawyer’s. Does your head hurt?”

  Matthew nodded. “It hurts.”

  “On a scale of one to ten, how bad does it hurt?”

  Matthew’s eyes roamed around the table. His face was flushed and dripping with perspiration. His mouth began to move as he tried to form the word, but nothing came out.

  Faith offered a place for him to lie down. Piper and her mother helped him to his feet and followed her out of the room. Harriet went after them. Heath looked as though he had been holding his breath until the entire episode was over. Sawyer could see his frustration and discomfort.

  “Do you want to check on them?” Sawyer asked him.

  Heath shook his head. “Would you show me where the bathroom is?”

  Dean offered to show him, leaving Sawyer once again with nothing to do except sit with the rest of the mortified group.

  “Sorry about that, everyone,” he said, not knowing what else to do but apologize.

  “Don’t be sorry. That poor young man,” Marilee said. “What a horrible disorder.”

  Faith returned with a dessert platter full of cookies. “I think we all need a little sweetness after that.”