Never Let Go (The Storm Inside #4)

by Alexis Anne

  “Parties also have a way of making time irrelevant,” I murmured. As much as I was secretly hoping to slink away with Eve for some fun, I knew I’d be doused in a heavy dose of questions about my past before I could escape.

  “Thanks for having my back.”

  We shook hands. “Anytime.”

  “We’re kind of scary looking when we stand together like that.” Adam grinned.

  “Our genes are good for that, if nothing else,” I agreed. Even if the rest of my family turned out to be a mess, I was pretty sure Adam and I would stay friends forever. Even from across an ocean.

  8

  EVE

  Adam and Elizabeth’s engagement party was lovely, even if it was a little intense. It was just family, but that still accounted for a hundred guests under twinkle lights on the back lawn. A duo played live music, endless seafood covered tables on the porch, and a full bar with two bartenders was pouring drinks in the corner.

  The girls had gone to sleep an hour ago and one of the older cousins was watching a movie in their bed while babysitting. Jake was having a great time laughing and trading stories, but I was on overload, so I decided to steal away to a dark set of chairs off to the side of the action and catch my breath.

  So of course I was only alone for a moment.

  “You found my spot,” Elizabeth laughed as she dropped onto the chair beside me.

  At least she was safe. I didn’t mind sharing my quiet time with her one little bit.

  “This party is for you. I don’t think you’re supposed to hide,” I teased.

  She laughed as she slouched down in the chair and kicked off her heels. “Ha! This party is for the Senator. No one will even notice I’m missing.”

  The more time I spent with Elizabeth, the more I liked her. She was introverted, like me, but social and outgoing. An extroverted introvert. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

  She shrugged. “I’m ready to get home. This isn’t my life and I have students waiting.” Elizabeth taught at Oxford now that she’d moved to England with Adam.

  “Do you like teaching? Jake loves it.”

  “I do, but it’s intense and can be pretty stressful.”

  I could see how being a full-time professor could be a lot more work than the one class a semester Jake taught. “So is this it for you and Adam? A wedding and happily ever after with Team Mercedes and Oxford?”

  She sighed one of those contented happy sighs you expect from someone on the cusp of wedded bliss. “For a little while. We have a ten year plan.”

  “Oh yeah? Spill it.”

  She grinned. “We just bought a house. It’s almost dead center between Brackley and Oxford. It’s a dilapidated piece of shit.”

  That didn’t sound good, and yet she said it like it was the best thing in the world. “Congratulations?”

  “The team is in their prime and Adam is working constantly. I’m new in my position so I’m working my ass off to make a mark and show them I’m worth all the effort they put into wooing me over. We love our jobs, but we have other dreams.”

  “And a dilapidated piece of shit is that dream?” I guessed.

  “Yes. Eventually we want to slow down. A little. And have more freedom than our current schedules allow. We’d like to travel more. Sleep more.”

  “You don’t have to tell me about needing more sleep,” I groaned. Even with two pretty amazing kids who’d been decent sleepers, Jake and I were dead on our feet. Parenting was exhausting.

  She gave me a sympathetic smile. “Sam and Max are totally worth the exhaustion. You have great kids, Eve.”

  “Thank you.”

  “So Adam’s an engineer and I’m in historic preservation, but our two totally different worlds actually kind of meet in the middle. He loves restoring old cars, and some of those projects he upgrades into completely modern machines with computers and gadgets and all the energy efficient mumbo jumbo in the world.”

  “The same thing you do with houses,” I guessed.

  “Exactly. So this piece of shit in the middle of nowhere is our dream house. I’m going to turn it into my showpiece—restore all the historic features, but upgrade the hell out of it. It will be modern, tech friendly, and energy efficient. There’s this amazing barn-thing on the property that we’ll renovate into a garage for Adam to restore his cars.”

  Suddenly Adam and Elizabeth seemed a lot more like our lost soul mates than cousins. “You’ve seen Jake’s Orange Beast?”

  “Adam hasn’t stopped talking about it,” she smiled.

  “And of course our house.”

  “I hung on every word of the tour of both your house and your sister’s. Did you do the renovations yourself?”

  Pride surged through my veins. “June’s house, yes. It was our grandparent’s, then my mom’s, then mine when I started college. After I graduated I got to work. It was my therapy during the lost years.” Memories of love and regret were molded into so much of that house. I could still walk into some rooms and see twenty-year-old me growing into an adult, falling in love with Jake.

  There were other things too, like the wood moldings in my library where I always felt that pang of sadness. I was in a really long, heartbroken stretch when I’d worked my way through building those bookcases one by one, staining and sealing them.

  And don’t even get me started on the tile in the guest bathroom. I rarely looked at that because the emotional tide was too much.

  “And your new house?” she asked.

  “No,” I shook my head. “It was a lot worse off and we wanted to expand. Add in two busy careers and couple of babies...we hired a contractor for that.”

  She nodded. “Your houses are right up my alley. That blend of old and new. Eventually we both want to dial back. Adam will stay on with the team as a consultant. I would love to be a visiting professor, or something more like what Jake does, just teaching one class a semester. Adam will build cars for his fancy clients and I’ll do houses with my best friend, Allison.”

  “And her fiancé?”

  “Theo? He’s all about spending more time working on his projects and less time managing companies. Plus, we get the added benefit of his brain. His company already designs energy efficient stuff. All we have to do is ask and his lab makes it happen.”

  “Jake’s really good with materials if you ever need a different brain to tackle something.”

  Elizabeth leaned forward, a wicked gleam in her eyes. “You’ve done a renovation, he’s good with materials…any chance we could convince you to move across the pond and join our grand adventure in ten years?”

  I’m not going to lie, I thought about it for a few seconds. In ten years the girls would be in high school and Jake and I would be staring down the barrel of being just the two of us again. “I’m not sure we’ll be pulling up stakes—I do quite like my job—however I am absolutely positive we’ll come visit.”

  “An acceptable answer for now. I have plenty of time to wear you down.”

  A comfortable silence settled between us and I felt my tension slip away. “Do you and Adam want kids?”

  “Honestly? No,” she sighed. “We haven’t officially decided or set anything in stone but,” her voice trailed away and I could see her staring up at the sky. “I love kids but I don’t want to raise children. I don’t have a burning desire to be a mother and Adam and I both have other dreams. I’m the world’s best aunt though. I can feel it in my bones.”

  Of that I was absolutely sure. “No judgment from me. I’m in the exhausted stage of parenting and people keep telling me it never ends, so…”

  She laughed. “But totally worth it if raising kids is your thing.”

  “Yeah.” I smiled, thinking of those sloppy kisses and late nights with a kid burrowed into my side. I was tired, but I loved watching a little person learn and grow.

  “Any more on your radar?” she asked as delicately as I’d asked her about kids.

  “Nope. Not exactly. We’ve fostered a couple of kids in the
past and provided respite care for other foster families. I’m almost positive we’ll be doing one or both again one day.”

  “Really? You fostered kids?”

  I shrugged. “Mostly older kids. Jake loves it.”

  “And you? Do you love it?”

  Answering honestly always made me feel like a selfish asshole. “I don’t love it the way Jake does. For him, it fills this constant need to make sure no one else lives through what he lived through. He wants to be there for kids in a way that no one was ever there for him.” I loved that he saw the world through such a big lens.

  “That makes sense,” she said quietly.

  “But I have two little kids at home and they take my attention. I get anxious about not being enough for everyone. These kids aren’t a side project. If they come to our home they deserve everything. So if and when we open our doors again, I need to know I can handle it.”

  It was my turn to pause and stare up at the stars. “It’s hardest during spring training and playoffs. We run a carefully balanced schedule as it is, but those two times of year really strain everything. Throw a new kid into the mix and I become a basket case. And that feels wrong, you know?”

  “I can totally see that,” she reassured me. “You’re just trying to do your best. We all have doubts and anxiety about how to do that. Is that why you do respite care?”

  I nodded. “We just have these kids for a weekend, or maybe a week, while their regular family gets some time to catch-up. We get a chance to be part of so many kids’ lives that way, but without the constant responsibility. It’s a good blend for our lives at the moment.”

  I jumped as someone gasped behind me. When I twisted around I found Rose.

  “Sorry to interrupt your conversation,” she said tentatively, taking a few steps towards us. She looked upset. Really upset.

  “Nonsense,” Elizabeth said waving her over. “Come sit and talk with us.”

  She sat, but if anything, she was getting more upset by the moment.

  “Can I get you anything, Rose? A drink of water?”

  She waved me off. “You and Jake…did I hear you say that you foster kids…” her voice trailed away and then she took a deep breath. “Because of what he lived through?”

  “Yes,” I said slowly, panicking that this conversation was happening without Jake. When I’d told him about my breakfast with Rose he’d been receptive to the idea of her talking to me, but he’d also been hurt. I had hoped they’d have a chance to talk in the morning.

  Maybe I could still push her off. “You and Jake should have breakfast. Alone. You can ask him about everything then.”

  But she shook her head and I couldn’t get over the look of panic in her eyes. What was up with that? “How bad was it?” she demanded.

  “It’s not my story to tell.”

  She glared at me, which was something I didn’t expect from Rose. Quite frankly I didn’t think she had it in her, plus it was bad manners. But there it was, a death stare equal to anything I could throw out there. I was actually kind of impressed.

  “Look, Eve. I understand that I’ve completely and utterly failed at being a mother and grandmother. I allowed myself to be kept in the dark because it was easier. That was a mistake…I wasn’t strong enough then, but the thing is, that saying? What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? It’s true. And I’m a hell of a lot stronger than I used to be.”

  Her stock kept rising in my eyes, but it still didn’t make me any less angry. And poor Elizabeth was stuck there beside us with her mouth hanging open, unable to leave.

  “I understand what you’re saying, Rose,” I sighed. “But you ignored reality for the last thirty seven years, I think you can wait a few more hours.”

  “Tell me what happened to my grandson or so help me, I will walk straight into that party and start asking questions.”

  I stared at her in shock as a feeling of dread took hold of me. Something was going on—something was driving her need to know now, not in the morning.

  “Oh, Rose…Please tell me you didn’t—” Elizabeth gasped.

  She glared at Elizabeth. “I need to know. Now.”

  I snapped. “Do you really not know that Jake Sr. beat the crap out of Jake? That Lydia watched it all happen? Encouraged it like some sort of twisted psychopath. That they brainwashed and twisted him up so tight that there wasn’t a world outside of their house? You can’t be that naïve.” If she knew her daughter, knew the man she married, then nothing I said could be that much of a surprise. It just couldn’t.

  And damn did it feel good to see the devastated look on Rose’s face. All the way up until she looked like she was going to lose her dinner. “Oh my god,” she gasped and spun on her heel, running full speed up to the house.

  I hadn’t expected that reaction.

  “What the hell was that?” I asked.

  Elizabeth grabbed my arm and started pulling me back toward the party. Hard.

  “You need to get Jake. You need to get out of here. Now.”

  What? “Why?”

  “We told them not to invite her, but they clearly didn’t listen to our advice,” she muttered. “His mom is here. They invited her up for a nice, big, oblivious family reunion.”

  I stopped dead in my tracks as I tried to process what Elizabeth had just said. “Lydia is here? Jake’s mom is here?”

  She nodded. “Or on her way. I’m not sure which.”

  I stared at her. I was speechless.

  She shook her head. “I don’t have the answers you need. They are oblivious to how cruel some people can be—even their own daughter. I am so sorry, Eve. Get him out of here while you still can.”

  I didn’t hesitate for a second. I broke out in an actual run, kicking my heels into the bushes as I took off in the direction I’d last seen my husband, but he wasn’t there. I looked frantically around, pushing confused cousins out of my way, then I finally saw him laughing with Adam next to the bar.

  I had just enough time to memorize exactly how happy he looked. His green eyes were light, his cheeks flush with what was probably a mellow buzz from the whiskey in his hand. He’d chosen to wear a relaxed white dress shirt and grey slacks. The sleeves were rolled and the collar was open. He was tall and gorgeous and perfect. And these horrible people were about to ruin everything he’d worked so hard to build.

  “Come with me,” I gasped as I practically fell into his arms.

  He shoved his glass into Adam’s hands and held me up. “The girls?”

  “No, not the girls. Don’t ask questions, just come with me,” I hissed, trying to yank him toward the side door, but the man was immovable when he wanted to be.

  “Eve, you’re scaring me.” The terror in his eyes cut straight through me. I didn’t want to scare him, but I also didn’t have time for explanations.

  I closed my eyes and steeled myself. “Jake, just trust me. Nothing will be wrong if we can get upstairs and close the damn door.” Elizabeth would make sure Lydia was gone or hidden or whatever the fuck needed to happen to keep these two from seeing each other. She was the one person who understood why this mattered and she would take care of it. I knew she would.

  “Babe?”

  “Please?” I pleaded, pulling him toward the door again. This time he gave way and took a few steps. “Please just trust me.”

  He shot a worried glance at Adam, and to my complete surprise the man nodded. “I’ve got your back. Whatever it is, we’ll handle it.”

  Jake pushed me toward the door, then moved ahead of me, yanking it open. “Our room?”

  I nodded and we took off up the stairs. We scared Chloe when we burst in the door. Jake ducked into the girl’s room to double check that they were fine, then he pushed Chloe out with a frantic thank you.

  He spun around. “What the hell is going on?”

  I sank down onto the bed. How did I tell Jake his mother was here? I still hadn’t gotten it straight in my own head. “Just give me a second.” There had to be a right w
ay to say this—some way to soften the blow.

  Jake raked his hand through his hair, then pulled his wildly vibrating phone out of his pocket. His eyes went wide as he looked at the screen. “Lydia’s here?”

  Shit. The color drained from my face. I nodded. “Yes. Is that Charlie?” Of course his private investigator would have put two and two together and messaged Jake. I should have just blurted it out. Now instead of hearing it from me, he got it in a cold message from someone he paid.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jake would draw an instant connection between my silence and her manipulation. It wasn’t the same and it wasn’t fair, but that’s what happened when you had a pile of steaming shit in your past.

  “I don’t understand…” his voice trailed away as he stared at me, looking for answers I didn’t have.

  Why on earth would the Senator or Rose invite Jake’s mother without saying anything to us? Without asking, or consulting, or anything? Didn’t they understand?

  No, obviously they didn’t. This was their world and we were just pieces in a game we didn’t know the rules to.

  “We should go,” I whispered.

  He nodded. “The girls are asleep.”

  “They won’t mind.” I threw myself into his arms. I wanted to smother him in a thousand kisses. Smother him so he couldn’t breathe in any of this toxic air.

  “I can’t see her, Eve,” he mumbled into my hair.

  “I know. And I don’t want to see your grandparents. I might kill them if I do.”

  He squeezed me tighter.

  “Is she really here?” he asked. “Why? Why would she come? Why did they ask?”

  I would give anything for answers. “She came for the drama, babe. She came to feed on the drama. So we’re leaving before she can suck anything else out of us.”

  9

  EVE

  One week later…

  I sat on the modern grey sofa across from Jennie in her office like a patient. Okay, so I was asking her professional opinion, and maybe that kind of sort of made me a little bit like a client, but it still felt like a weird dynamic shift in our relationship. Normally when I wanted her advice she came over, we sat on the back porch, and mojitos were consumed.