Overtime

by Toni Aleo

  Probably not.

  When he reached the meeting room for visitors, he saw Natasha sitting on the patio, her long brown hair flowing in the evening breeze. The sun was setting behind the mountains, the sky a pretty pink as he closed the distance between them. When he had almost reached her, she looked up, grinning her dazzling grin as she stood too, hugging him tightly. She was wearing short shorts and a tank that showed off her chest in the most revealing way. Her tits and mouth were what had attracted him back in Louisiana, but now as he hugged her, he felt nothing but friendship for her.

  Because Kacey consumed him. Everything inside him was hers. He just wished he had realized how in love with her he was before he pushed her away.

  “How ya feeling?”

  He smiled. “Alive. Sober.”

  “Good,” she said, tapping his arm before they both sat down. Soon refreshments were served, along with a light dinner. Nothing that raised the skirt, but it was good and the conversation was easy. They spoke about her work-study and how she was heading back to Louisiana in four weeks.

  “So right around the time I get out, then?”

  She nodded. “Guess so. Works out.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Will you go straight back to Nashville?”

  “Gotta get cleared by my PT. He feels like it’ll be another week or two to see how I do out of here before they send me back. I’m ready to get on the ice. It’s killing me here.”

  “I bet,” she agreed. “I’m proud of you, though.”

  “Thanks.” He shot her a grin before taking a long sip of his iced tea. Usually, he wished there was Jack in it but not for the last week. This last week he’d tried. He wanted to get better. He had to get better.

  “Maybe I could come to Nashville?”

  He looked over at her, his brow raised. “For? You have a job there?”

  She smiled sheepishly, her brown eyes sparkling in the falling sunlight as she held his gaze. She really was a pretty girl and deserved someone who could handle all of her. But she wasn’t into relationships, just as he hadn’t been. Though, after this stint in rehab, Jordie was ready to sing a different tune. Life was so short, and the things he’d heard while being here had made him realize he needed to be healthy and sober to live the life he wanted. He had been so close to losing everything, and he couldn’t allow that to happen.

  “For us.”

  Say what?

  “Us?” he asked, confused.

  “Yeah, I could get a job at Vandy. I have some friends there who could get me in without any problem. They’ve actually been asking me to move there. Nothing worth moving for until now. But yeah, maybe we can give it a go, an actual relationship instead of just hanging out at rehab. Ha, what a story to tell the kids one day.”

  He eyed her and then shook his head. Surely he was hearing her wrong. “Wait, huh? You don’t do relationships.”

  She laughed nervously, looking down at her perfectly manicured nails. Everything about her was so put together. The only time she didn’t look like a billion bucks was when she was under him. What a sight, but not the sight he wanted for the rest of his life.

  “I usually don’t, and especially not with a hockey player, but I want to now.” She looked up at him. “With you,” she said slowly. Her eyes were wary as they held his and he was a little taken aback.

  Yeah, they had become close, but nowhere in there had he ever expected her to say that. Sex, yes—he was irresistible to say the least. But a relationship? No way, but wait, shit… Was this his fault?

  Leaning forward, he held her hopeful gaze as he said, “Please say I didn’t lead you on, because I never meant to.”

  “No, you haven’t, but I thought maybe you wanted the same thing.”

  He shook his head. “Natasha, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to start something with you when my heart wouldn’t be in it.”

  “It could be,” she suggested, not looking the least bit derailed. But he shook his head.

  “It won’t.”

  “Because of her?” she asked, her eyes never leaving his, and he nodded.

  “Yeah, she’s important to me. She matters.”

  “I’m sure we can fix that. She was obviously not enough to keep. You did leave her and fucked me.”

  “She was more than enough. More than I deserved,” he countered, their eyes burning into each other’s.

  Looking away finally, she let out a breath. “You could at least give me a chance.”

  “It wouldn’t be fair to you,” he said, reaching out to take her hand with his. “You deserve someone who will want you from the beginning. That’s not me. I wanted you for sex, and I’m sorry if that made us a bit messy. I understand if you don’t want to come hang out with me anymore.”

  Removing her hand from his, she folded her hands in her lap and shook her head. “It was a stupid idea anyway,” she said, still not looking at him, but he could see the tears welling up in her eyes. “We are good in bed, not out of it.”

  When he didn’t answer, because he wasn’t sure how, she glanced over at him. “Thanks for being honest though.”

  “I wouldn’t lie to you,” he promised just as his phone went off. It was a text from Karson.

  Karson: Meet your goddaughter, Mena Jane King.

  And then there was a picture of the sweetest little bundle of pink Jordie had ever seen. Gasping, he covered his mouth as he took in his new goddaughter, his heart pounding in his chest.

  Love. Love at first sight.

  “What?” Natasha asked, a little annoyed.

  “My goddaughter was just born,” he said as he typed back a quick congratulations. Karson wrote back that he’d call in a bit, and Jordie was excited to hear from him. He was sure to get an earful; Karson’s biggest fear about having the baby was the birth. Jordie was glad it seemed to have gone well. Figured if something were wrong, Karson would have said something. Opening a text to Lacey, he typed.

  Jordie: Congratulations, Mama. She’s just as gorgeous as her mama. Can’t wait to see you guys. 38 more days hopefully!

  She wrote back almost immediately, the little text bubble taunting him with her unspoken words.

  Lacey: Thanks, we wish you were here! She is perfect! She has all of us wrapped around her sweet little finger.

  Jordie: Mena Jane? Love it, but what happened to naming her after me? Lol.

  Lacey: Mena for Kacey Marie, since there are already too many K’s in my opinion. And then Jane for you, Jordie. ☺

  Jordie grinned as his eyes started to itch. Stupid allergies.

  Jordie: Awesome. I can’t wait to get home.

  Lacey: We can’t wait to have you home. Check out this picture. It’s my favorite so far.

  He waited as the picture came in, and when it did, it was as if he took a puck shot by Shea Adler himself square in the chest. Kacey sat in all her beautiful glory with Mena Jane in her arms. She had grown her hair out, lost a little weight in her face, but her eyes… God, they were filled with all the love in the world. He knew those eyes well; they used to stare back at him just like that. Seeing her holding Mena Jane did something to his chest, and soon, he was fighting back the tears.

  How could he have been so stupid? This girl was it for him, his winning goal, his heart, and he let her go. Choking back the tears, he typed back.

  Jordie: It’s my new favorite picture.

  Lacey: So you miss her?

  Jordie: There isn’t enough character space to tell you how much.

  Lacey: Come home, Jordie. Healthy.

  Jordie: That’s the plan.

  And then Kacey Marie King would be his.

  “He just told me he loves me.”

  Kacey leaned against the bathroom counter, her brows pulled together as she held her phone to her ear while looking at her reflection as Lacey sputtered on the other line.

  “Say what?” Lacey exclaimed.

  “Exactly!” Kacey agreed, still unable to fathom how Liam could love her. “Tell me I’m not the only
one who thinks that is batshit insane! We’ve only been technically dating for a month, I think? We haven’t even slept together! You can’t love someone when you haven’t seen them naked. What if I had an elephant vagina or something?”

  Lacey paused. “Um, what? I’m sorry, but what is an elephant vagina?”

  “You know, like big lips that kind of look and hang like elephant ears.”

  “Wow. That’s a new one.”

  “Focus!” Kacey exclaimed.

  “Anyway, you know that everyone is different and falls at different times,” Lacey suggested like the practical person she was, but Kacey was internally freaking the hell out. She thought when she finally heard someone say those words to her, it would be the person she really wanted. She’d never expected Liam to fall for her. She liked the idea of it, but when he said those three words, it didn’t feel right. It felt fake. Unreal and, ugh, it was killing her. She should be shitting rainbows and sunshine! Riding on a unicorn of love, but instead, she felt like she wanted to punch something. Or cry, and she really hated crying.

  “No, normal people don’t fall that quickly for someone they hardly know!”

  “I don’t know what to say here, Kacey. Where are you?”

  “In the bathroom.”

  “Where is he?”

  “At the table!”

  “What? You ran!” she shrieked.

  “No! He said it. I said, oh, okay, and then that I had to pee and… Yeah, I did run.”

  “Oh my goodness, Kacey. He probably feels like shit now,” she complained, and Kacey did feel a bit bad about that, but it freaked her out. Flight was her only option at that point.

  “What do I do, Lacey?” she whined as her head fell back. “I don’t want to go out there and say it, because I don’t feel it. I don’t want to lead him on.”

  “Do you even want to date him? You don’t seem very invested here.”

  “I do, he’s great, but I don’t want to rush it. I want it to feel real.”

  But it didn’t. Not even in the least. Something was off.

  “Maybe I need to sleep with him?” she thought out loud before Lacey could say anything.

  “How would that help?”

  “I don’t know. I just don’t feel that soul-deep connection with him, and maybe if he is deep inside me, I’ll feel something,” she added and Lacey snorted.

  “You’re insane,” she laughed. “Like you said, you don’t want to rush this. So don’t make him a notch on your bedpost to find that soul-deep connection. If he isn’t the one, he isn’t.”

  “But don’t you think I should give him time? I mean, feelings develop over time.”

  “You’re right, they do. But I don’t know, I don’t feel you’re 100 percent committed to this.”

  She wasn’t. Maybe fifty percent, but that was pushing it.

  “He’s a good guy though,” she said, letting out a long breath. “I’m so tired of all the shit guys. The ones who continually hurt me or are emotionally unavailable. I have this good guy, who apparently loves me, and I feel like, if I throw that away, I’ll regret it. And plus, I don’t want to hurt his feelings. He’s a sweet guy.”

  And he was. She truly enjoyed spending time with him. They worked out together every day, went to the movies, hung out with Karson and Lacey. It was nice, but she knew something was missing. The thing was, she didn’t know how to find it. And every time she thought of “it,” Jordie came crashing into her mind, slamming into her like the defenseman he was. With him, “it” was there. Everything was there. They fit and it was what she wanted. She felt like she fell in love over and over, every single moment she was with him.

  But he was emotionally unavailable and had thrown her away.

  Story of her fucking life.

  Liam was everything that Jordie wasn’t, but Jordie still held her heart. Was it wrong of her to continue this relationship when she wasn’t all there? Was she the one who was emotionally unavailable now? And really, how stupid of her! It had been eight months; he wanted nothing to do with her, and now this great guy did. She needed to try. She just had to. Or she really did feel she’d end up alone—the crazy aunt who watched Notting Hill over and over again, hoping for her own William to come and sweep her off her feet. Since the chap was nowhere in sight, she’d better open her eyes and see what was in front of her.

  Liam.

  “I think you should be honest,” Lacey said, stealing her attention back. “Tell him the truth, that you’ve been screwed over left and right before, and that you don’t love him, but maybe one day you would.”

  “Good idea,” she decided, pushing off the counter.

  “But then you only give him one more month. If, in that month, you don’t feel that soul-deep connection, then please let him go. Don’t grasp for something that isn’t there because it’s easy. You have to remember, if it isn’t worth fighting for, then it isn’t worth your time.”

  “You’re right. Okay, I’ll be home sometime, I guess.”

  As she reached for the door, Lacey said, “Okay, but please don’t sleep with him tonight just to see if something is there.”

  Kacey laughed. “I’m gonna take it slow, let it happen when it does. But really, why hasn’t he tried anything?”

  “Because he is a nice guy and he respects you.”

  She thought that through. It felt very foreign to her, but hey, there was always a first time for everything. “Oh. Okay, call you later.”

  Lacey laughed. “Bye, Kace.”

  Hanging her phone up, she left the bathroom and made her way through the crowded pub toward the corner table where Liam sat. He was sitting there, cool as a cucumber, not even playing on his phone. That was one thing that drove her insane about Jordie. He was constantly on his phone, and she was always sure it was so that he could hook up with girl after girl. She wanted to say he hadn’t slept with anyone else but her when he was with her, but she didn’t believe that for a second. Jordie was a wanderer and she didn’t need that.

  When Liam spotted her, he smiled and stood up, pulling her chair out for her.

  Smiling up at her, he said, “I thought you fell in. I was about to send in a rescue party.”

  She smiled. “I had to call Lacey.”

  “Everything okay?” he asked, his grin falling.

  “Yeah, just you kinda freaked me out,” she said and his brow rose. “The whole ‘I love you’ thing.”

  He nodded and then looked away, the tops of his ears turning red. “I meant every word, Kacey. I do love you. It’s fast, I know, but I’m not gonna hide my feelings from you. I want to be honest.”

  She nodded as she held his gaze. “That’s what I want, but it caught me off guard is all. It’s only been a month, and I really do think you’re great—”

  “But you don’t feel the same,” he supplied for her, leaning back in his chair, one arm resting on the back of her chair.

  “Yeah, I don’t. But I’m not saying that I won’t, one day,” she added and he nodded. “It’s just I’ve been continually hurt by guys in the past. I guess I always choose the shitty ones. And I always fall first because I want to be in a relationship with someone who’s gonna love me and cherish me, but none of those guys ever did. The shitty thing is, most of the time I knew they were just in it for the sex, but I still hoped and dove in with them.”

  “Because you thought you could change ’em,” he supplied and she nodded.

  “Yeah, I really did. I thought I was enough to do that.”

  “You are,” he said, taking her hand in his.

  She smiled, moving her thumb with his. Staring down at his hand, she admitted, “The last guy I was with still weighs heavy on my heart. I wanted so much for him to love me, but he never did, and then he just cut off all communication with me. That hurt, and I still wonder why I wasn’t enough. It sucks,” she said, looking up at him. “But it’s in the past. I’m over him and I’m ready to move on,” she said, waving her hand nonchalantly, even though she knew her statement
was a complete lie. There was no way she could ever get over Jordie. He did something to her. Branded her without her even knowing it and she felt bad for lying to Liam, but then she was pretty sure she was trying to tell herself the same thing. The right thing. That she was over Jordie and he was a thing of the past.

  But she could still see his crooked grin and his dark brown eyes clear as day. As if he were standing in front of her, beckoning her in for a kiss.

  Come here, sugar thighs, let me get a kiss.

  Ugh, she could still feel his voice against her throat, the feel of his hands on her thighs as he kissed her senseless. As much as she wanted to be rid of him, she held tightly to those memories as a little girl did her favorite doll. Or, in her case, the way she held her stick when she hit the ice. She couldn’t let it go because that’s how she scored. That’s how she won.

  But she lost with Jordie.

  And she still hadn’t recovered.

  “But you loved him?”

  “Oh yes. More so than anyone else.”

  His brow came up as he slowly nodded. “When did you two break up?”

  “We were never together.”

  “Huh?”

  She shrugged. “He made it very clear that we were only fucking, but I caught feelings hard. But I guess, to answer your question, we stopped talking about eight months ago.”

  “Oh, okay,” he said, still holding her gaze. “Are you sure you want to move on?”

  Chewing her lip, she didn’t allow her gaze to avert. She didn’t want to move on, but she had to. Or she would lose it. She stayed locked with Liam’s sweet gaze and slowly nodded. “I am. I want to be with someone who wants what I want.”

  “Completely understandable. Thank you for being honest with me,” he said before leaning over and kissing the side of her mouth. “And it’s fine that you don’t love me yet. Just means I have to work hard to get you to fall for me,” he whispered against her mouth, his blue eyes burning into hers. He then pressed his thin lips to hers and she instantly missed the feel of hair. The smell of the coconut oil that Jordie used for his beard. She missed him. When Liam pulled back, he held her chin by his thumb, his eyes searching his, and she hoped she didn’t look as pained as she felt. And as she stared into his eyes, she begged the sparks to fly. The fireworks to burst or, hell, anything. Something.