Sixty-Five Short Stories

by Somerset William Maugham

  Sandy Westcott gave a sigh. He did not know whether he was disappointed or relieved.

  'Top hole,' said the English peer.

  'It's a bally fake,' said the Colonel, with his British pertinacity. 'I bet you anything you like.'

  'It's over so quickly,' said her English ladyship. 'I mean, you don't get your money's worth really.'

  Anyhow it wasn't her money. That it never was. The Italian countess leaned forward. She spoke fluent English, but with a strong accent.

  'Eva, my darling, who are those extraordinary people at the table near the door under the balcony?'

  'Packet of fun, aren't they?' said Sandy. 'I simply haven't been able to take my eyes off them.'

  Eva Barrett glanced at the table the Countess indicated, and the Prince, who sat with his back to it, turned round to look.

  'They can't be true,' cried Eva. 'I must ask Angelo who they are.'

  Mrs Barrett was the sort of woman who knew the head waiters of all the principal restaurants in Europe by their first names. She told the waiter who was at that moment filling her glass to send Angelo to her.

  It was certainly an odd pair. They were sitting by themselves at a small table. They were very old. The man was big and stout, with a mass of white hair, great bushy white eyebrows, and an enormous white moustache. He looked like the late King Humbert of Italy, but much more like a king. He sat bolt upright. He wore full evening dress, with a white tie and a collar that has been out of fashion for hard on thirty years. His companion was a little old lady in a black satin ball dress, cut very low, and tight at the waist. Round her neck were several chains of coloured beads. She wore what was obviously a wig, and a very ill-fitting one at that; it was very elaborate, all curls and sausages, and raven black. She was outrageously made-up, bright blue under the eyes and on the eyelids, the eyebrows heavily black, a great patch of very pink rouge on each cheek, and the lips a livid scarlet. The skin hung loosely on her face in deep wrinkles. She had large bold eyes and they darted eagerly from table to table. She was taking everything in, and every other minute called the old man's attention to someone or other. The appearance of the couple was so fantastic in that fashionable crowd, the men in dinner jackets, the women in thin, pale-coloured frocks, that many eyes were turned on them. The staring did not seem to incommode the old lady. When she felt certain persons were looking at her she raised her eyebrows archly, smiled and rolled her eyes. She seemed on the point of acknowledging applause.

  Angelo hurried up to the good customer that Eva Barrett was.

  'You wished to see me, my lady?'

  'Oh, Angelo, we're simply dying to know who those absolutely marvellous people are at the next table to the door.'

  Angelo gave a look and then assumed a deprecating air. The expression of his face, the movement of his shoulders, the turn of his spine, the gesture of his hands, probably even the twiddle of his toes, all indicated a half-humorous apology.

  'You must overlook them, my lady.' He knew of course that Mrs Barrett had no right to be thus addressed, just as he knew that the Italian countess was neither Italian nor a countess and that the English lord never paid for a drink if anyone else would pay for it, but he also knew that to be thus addressed did not displease her. 'They begged me to give them a table because they wanted to see Madam Stella do her dive. They were in the profession themselves once. I know they're not the sort of people one expects to see dining here, but they made such a point of it I simply hadn't the heart to refuse.'

  'But I think they're a perfect scream. I adore them.'

  'I've known them for many years. The man indeed is a compatriot of mine.' The head waiter gave a condescending little laugh. 'I told them I'd give them a table on the condition that they didn't dance. I wasn't taking any risks, my lady.'

  'Oh, but I should have loved to see them dance.'

  'One has to draw the line somewhere, my lady,' said Angelo gravely.

  He smiled, bowed again and withdrew.

  'Look,' cried Sandy, 'they're going.'

  The funny old couple were paying their bill. The old man got up and put round his wife's neck a large white, but not too clean, feather boa. She rose. He gave her his arm, holding himself very erect, and she, small in comparison, tripped out beside him. Her black satin dress had a long train, and Eva Barrett (who was well over fifty) screamed with joy.

  'Look, I remember my mother wearing a dress like that when I was in the schoolroom.'

  The comic pair walked, still arm in arm, through the spacious rooms of the Casino till they came to the door. The old man addressed a commissionaire.

  'Be so good as to direct me to the artistes' dressing-rooms. We wish to pay our respects to Madam Stella.'

  The commissionaire gave them a look and summed them up. They were not people with whom it was necessary to be very polite.

  'You won't find her there.'

  'She has not gone? I thought she gave a second performance at two?'

  'That's true. They might be in the bar.'

  'It won't 'urt us just to go an' 'ave a look, Carlo,' said the old lady.

  'Right-o, my love,' he answered with a great roll of the R.

  They walked slowly up the great stairs and entered the bar. It was empty but for the deputy-barman and a couple sitting in two arm-chairs in the corner. The old lady released her husband's arm and tripped up with outstretched hands.

  ''Ow are you, dear? I felt I just 'ad to come and congratulate you, bein' English same as you are. And in the profession meself. It's a grand turn, my dear, it deserves to be a success.' She turned to Cotman. 'And this is your 'usband?'

  Stella got out of her arm-chair and a shy smile broke on her lips as she listened with some confusion to the voluble old lady.

  'Yes, that's Syd.'

  'Pleased to meet you,' he said.

  'And this is mine,' said the old lady, with a little dig of the elbow in the direction of the tall white-haired man. 'Mr Penezzi. 'E's a count really, and I'm the Countess Penezzi by rights, but when we retired from the profession we dropped the title.'

  'Will you have a drink?' said Cotman.

  'No, you 'ave one with us,' said Mrs Penezzi, sinking into an arm-chair. 'Carlo, you order.'

  The barman came, and after some discussion three bottles of beer were ordered. Stella would not have anything.

  'She never has anything till after the second show,' explained Cotman.

  Stella was slight and small, about twenty-six, with light brown hair, cut short and waved, and grey eyes. She had reddened her lips, but wore little rouge on her face. Her skin was pale. She was not very pretty, but she had a neat little face. She wore a very simple evening frock of white silk. The beer was brought and Mr Penezzi, evidently not very talkative, took a long swig.

  'What was your line?' asked Syd Cotman, politely.

  Mrs Penezzi gave him a rolling glance of her flashing, made-up eyes and turned to her husband.

  'Tell 'em who I am, Carlo,' she said.

  'The 'uman cannon-ball,' he announced.

  Mrs Penezzi smiled brightly and with a quick, birdlike glance looked from one to the other. They stared at her in dismay.

  'Flora,' she said. 'The 'uman cannon-ball.'

  She so obviously expected them to be impressed that they did not quite know what to do. Stella gave her Syd a puzzled look. He came to the rescue.

  'It must have been before our time.'

  'Naturally it was before your time. Why, we retired from the profession definitely the year poor Queen Victoria died. It made quite a sensation when we did too. But you've 'eard of me, of course.' She saw the blank look on their faces; her tone changed a little. 'But I was the biggest draw in London. At the Old Aquarium, that was. All the swells came to see me. The Prince of Wales and I don't know who all. I was the talk of the town. Isn't that true, Carlo?'

  'She crowded the Aquarium for a year.'

  'It was the most spectacular turn they'd ever 'ad there. Why, only a few years ago I went up and introdu
ced meself to Lady de Bathe. Lily Langtry, you know. She used to live down 'ere. She remembered me perfectly. She told me she'd seen me ten times.'

  'What did you do?' asked Stella.

  'I was fired out of a cannon. Believe me, it was a sensation. And after London I went all over the world with it. Yes, my dear, I'm an old woman now and I won't deny it. Seventy-eight Mr Penezzi is and I shall never see seventy again, but I've 'ad me portrait on every 'oardin' in London. Lady de Bathe said to me: My dear, you was as celebrated as I was. But you know what the public is, give 'em a good thing and they go mad over it, only they want change; 'owever good it is, they get sick of it and then they won't go and see it any more. It'll 'appen to you, my dear, same as it 'appened to me. It comes to all of us. But Mr Penezzi always 'ad 'is 'ead screwed on 'is shoulders the right way. Been in the business since 'e was so 'igh. Circus, you know. Ringmaster. That's 'ow I first knew 'im. I was in a troupe of acrobacks. Trapeze act, you know. 'E's a fine-lookin' man now, but you should 'ave seen 'im then, in 'is Russian boots, and ridin' breeches, and a tight-fittin' coat with frogs all down the front of it, crackin' 'is long whip as 'is 'orses galloped round the ring, the 'andsomest man I ever see in my life.'

  Mr Penezzi did not make any remark, but thoughtfully twisted his immense white moustache.

  'Well, as I was tellin' you, 'e was never one to throw money about and when the agents couldn't get us bookin's any more 'e said, let's retire. An 'e was quite right, after 'avin' been the biggest star in London, we couldn't go back to circus work any more, I mean, Mr Penezzi bein' a count really, 'e 'ad 'is dignity to think of, so we come down 'ere and we bought a 'ouse and started a pension. It always 'ad been Mr Penezzi's ambition to do something like that. Thirty-five years we been 'ere now. We 'aven't done so badly not until the last two or three years, and the slump came, though visitors are very different from what they was when we first started, the things they want, electric-light and runnin' water in their bedrooms and I don't know what all. Give them a card, Carlo. Mr Penezzi does the cookin' 'imself, and if ever you want a real 'ome from 'ome, you'll know where to find it. I like professional people and we'd 'ave a rare lot to talk about, you and me, dearie. Once a professional always a professional, I say.'

  At that moment the head barman came back from his supper. He caught sight of Syd.

  'Oh, Mr Cotman, Mr Espinel was looking for you, wants to see you particularly.'

  'Oh, where is he?'

  'You'll find him around somewhere.'

  'We'll be going,' said Mrs Penezzi, getting up. 'Come and 'ave lunch with us one day, will you? I'd like to show you my old photographs and me press cuttin's. Fancy you not 'avin' 'eard of the 'uman cannon-ball. Why, I was as well known as the Tower of London.'

  Mrs Penezzi was not vexed at finding that these young people had never even heard of her. She was simply amused.

  They bade one another good-bye, and Stella sank back again into her chair.

  'I'll just finish my beer,' said Syd, 'and then I'll go and see what Paco wants. Will you stay here, ducky, or would you like to go to your dressing-room?'

  Stella's hands were tightly clenched. She did not answer. Syd gave her a look and then quickly glanced away.

  'Perfect riot, that old girl,' he went on, in his hearty way. 'Real figure of fun. I suppose it's true what she said. It's difficult to believe, I must say. Fancy 'er drawing all London, what, forty years ago? And the funny thing is, her thinking anybody remembered. Seemed as though she simply couldn't understand us not having heard of her even.'

  He gave Stella another glance, from the corner of his eye so that she should not see he was looking at her, and he saw she was crying. He faltered. The tears were rolling down her pale face. She made no sound.

  'What's the matter, darling?'

  'Syd, I can't do it again tonight,' she sobbed.

  'Why on earth not?'

  'I'm afraid.'

  He took her hand.

  'I know you better than that,' he said. 'You're the bravest little woman in the world. Have a brandy, that'll pull you together.'

  'No, that'd only make it worse.'

  'You can't disappoint your public like that.'

  'That filthy public. Swine who eat too much and drink too much. A pack of chattering fools with more money than they know what to do with. I can't stick them. What do they care if I risk my life?'

  'Of course, it's the thrill they come for, there's no denying that,' he replied uneasily. 'But you know and I know, there's no risk, not if you keep your nerve.'

  'But I've lost my nerve, Syd. I shall kill myself.'

  She had raised her voice a little, and he looked round quickly at the barman. But the barman was reading the Г‰claireur de Nice and paying no attention.

  'You don't know what it looks like from up there, the top of the ladder, when I look down at the tank. I give you my word, tonight I thought I was going to faint. I tell you I can't do it again tonight, you've got to get me out of it, Syd.'

  'If you funk it tonight it'll be worse tomorrow.'

  'No, it won't. It's having to do it twice kills me. The long wait and all that. You go and see Mr Espinel and tell him I can't give two shows a night. It's more than my nerves'll stand.'

  'He'll never stand for that. The whole supper trade depends on you. It's only to see you they come in then at all.'

  'I can't help it, I tell you I can't go on.'

  He was silent for a moment. The tears still streamed down her pale little face, and he saw that she was quickly losing control of herself. He had felt for some days that something was up and he had been anxious. He had tried not to give her an opportunity to talk. He knew obscurely that it was better for her not to put into words what she felt. But he had been worried. For he loved her.

  'Anyhow Espinel wants to see me,' he said.

  'What about?'

  'I don't know. I'll tell him you can't give the show more than once a night and see what he says. Will you wait here?'

  'No, I'll go along to the dressing-room.'

  Ten minutes later he found her there. He was in great spirits and his step was jaunty. He burst open the door.

  'I've got grand news for you, honey. They're keeping us on next month at twice the money.'

  He sprang forward to take her in his arms and kiss her, but she pushed him away.

  'Have I got to go on again tonight?'

  'I'm afraid you must. I tried to make it only one show a night, but he wouldn't hear of it. He says it's quite essential you should do the supper turn. And after all, for double the money, it's worth it.'

  She flung herself down on the floor and this time burst into a storm of tears.

  'I can't, Syd, I can't. I shall kill myself.'

  He sat down on the floor and raised her head and took her in his arms and petted her.

  'Buck up, darling. You can't refuse a sum like that. Why, it'll keep us all the winter and we shan't have to do a thing. After all there are only four more days to the end of July and then it's only August.'

  'No, no, no. I'm frightened. I don't want to die, Syd. I love you.'

  'I know you do, darling, and I love you. Why, since we married I've never looked at another woman. We've never had money like this before and we shall never get it again. You know what these things are, we're a riot now, but we can't expect it to go on for ever. We've got to strike while the iron's hot.'

  'D'you want me to die, Syd?'

  'Don't talk so silly. Why, where should I be without you? You mustn't give way like this. You've got your self-respect to think of. You're famous all over the world.'

  'Like the human cannon-ball was,' she cried with a laugh of fury.

  'That damned old woman,' he thought.

  He knew that was the last straw. Bad luck, Stella taking it like that.

  'That was an eye-opener to me,' she went on. 'What do they come and see me over and over again for? On the chance they'll see me kill myself. And a week after I'm dead they'll have forgotten even my name. T
hat's what the public is. When I looked at that painted old hag I saw it all. Oh, Syd, I'm so miserable.' She threw her arms round his neck and pressed her face to his. 'Syd, it's no good, I can't do it again.'

  'Tonight, d'you mean? If you really feel like that about it, I'll tell Espinel you've had a fainting fit. I daresay it'll be all right just for once.'

  'I don't mean tonight, I mean never.'

  She felt him stiffen a little.

  'Syd dear, don't think I'm being silly. It's not just today, it's been growing on me. I can't sleep at night thinking of it, and when I do drop off I see myself standing at the top of the ladder and looking down. Tonight I could hardly get up it, I was trembling so, and when you lit the flames and said go, something seemed to be holding me back. I didn't even know I'd jumped. My mind was a blank till I found myself on the platform and heard them clapping. Syd, if you loved me you wouldn't want me to go through such torture.'

  He sighed. His own eyes were wet with tears. For he loved her devotedly.

  'You know what it means,' he said. 'The old life. Marathons and all.'

  'Anything's better than this.'

  The old life. They both remembered it. Syd had been a dancing gigolo since he was eighteen, he was very good-looking in his dark Spanish way and full of life, old women and middle-aged women were glad to pay to dance with him, and he was never out of work. He had drifted from England to the Continent and there he had stayed, going from hotel to hotel, to the Riviera in the winter, to watering-places in France in the summer. It wasn't a bad life they led, there were generally two or three of them together, the men, and they shared a room in cheap lodgings. They didn't have to get up till late and they only dressed in time to go to the hotel at twelve to dance with stout women who wanted to get their weight down. Then they were free till five, when they went to the hotel again and sat at a table, the three of them together, keeping a sharp eye open for anyone who looked a likely client. They had their regular customers. At night they went to the restaurant and the house provided them with quite a decent meal. Between the courses they danced. It was good money. They generally got fifty or a hundred francs from anyone they danced with. Sometimes a rich woman, after dancing a good deal with one of them for two or three nights, would give him as much as a thousand francs. Sometimes a middle-aged woman would ask one to spend a night with her, and he would get two hundred and fifty francs for that. There was always the chance of a silly old fool losing her head, and then there were platinum and sapphire rings, cigarette-cases, clothes, and a wristwatch to be got. One of Syd's friends had married one of them, who was old enough to be his mother, but she gave him a car and money to gamble with, and they lived in a beautiful villa at Biarritz. Those were the good days when everybody had money to burn. The slump came and hit the gigolos hard. The hotels were empty, and the clients didn't seem to want to pay for the pleasure of dancing with a nice-looking young fellow. Often and often Syd passed a whole day without earning the price of a drink, and more than once a fat old girl who weighed a ton had had the nerve to give him ten francs. His expenses didn't go down, for he had to be smartly dressed or the manager of the hotel made remarks, washing cost a packet, and you'd be surprised the amount of linen he needed; then shoes, those floors were terribly hard on shoes, and they had to look new. He had his room to pay for and his lunch.