Strong, Hot Winds

by Iris Johansen

  “Lie still,” Damon said hoarsely. “For heaven’s sake. I can’t stand it.”

  There was something wrong about this, she thought hazily. She was the one who had been injured. Her eyes focused on green malachite columns, white sheer draperies. “I’m back at the palace.”

  “Yes.”

  “All for nothing.” Her eyes closed wearily. “Michael could have been hurt and all for nothing.”

  She heard a low, strangled groan that sounded oddly like an animal in pain. It was Damon. No, Damon mustn’t hurt. There was so much pain in the world, but it mustn’t touch Damon or Michael. She had to stay awake and try to take the pain away. But her lids were suddenly too heavy to lift. She tried to reach out with her hand. “No, Damon, you mustn’t—”

  Then darkness returned.

  When she awoke again the pain was only a dull ache behind her eyes and it was Selim who was sitting beside her bed.

  “How are you?” he asked gently.

  “Better.” She moved her head cautiously. No hot needles. “Much better.”

  He turned away and poured a half glass of water from a pitcher on the bedside table and inserted a straw. “Drink this. Your mouth must feel like it’s full of cotton.”

  She sipped at the ice water gratefully. Her mouth felt worse than if it were stuffed with cotton, she thought; her tongue was almost sticking to the roof of her mouth. “Thanks, Selim.” She cautiously lifted herself to a sitting position. “Michael …”

  Selim was instantly beside her, adjusting the pillows. “Michael was only frightened. Not a scratch.”

  “I know. Damon told me.” Still, it was good to hear Selim’s reassurance. “Where is he? Back at the villa?”

  Selim shook his head. “He’s been given a room here at the palace. Damon wanted him close by for the little time he has left with him.”

  Cory went still. “What do you mean?”

  Selim sat down in his chair again. “He’s letting you go back to New York. He told me to make arrangements for your departure as soon as you’re able to travel. According to the doctor, that should be in no more than about two days. It was only a mild concussion.” His lips twisted ruefully. “Though the way Damon acted, you would have thought you’d suffered major brain damage.”

  She shook her head dazedly. “I feel as confused as if I had. Why is Damon doing this? Why now?”

  “If you think about it, I believe you’ll be able to come up with an answer,” he said quietly. “You’ve learned a lot about Damon since you came to Kasmara.”

  “I can’t seem to think at all.” She pressed her fingers to her pounding temples.

  “Then lie back and rest.” Selim leaned back in his chair. “Damon would toss me in the fountain if he knew I’d disturbed you.” He smiled innocently. “But how was I to know you’d be upset? This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” She rubbed at her temples. “Of course it’s what I want.” There was something terribly, terribly wrong. She felt suddenly cast adrift on a sea of confusion and panic. “It’s just …” She trailed off. Why was she feeling like this? She clutched desperately at a spar in that sea. It had to have something to do with Michael. There wasn’t anyone else she loved enough to throw her into this depression. “Michael. I want to see Michael.” She swung her legs off the bed and threw aside the covers. “I want to make sure he’s all right.”

  “I told you—”

  “I want to see for myself,” she said fiercely. If she could just see Michael, this bewilderment and sense of something gone horribly wrong might go away. “Take me to him.”

  Selim frowned. “You shouldn’t be out of bed.”

  She stood up. The world bucked crazily.

  Selim jumped up from his chair and steadied her as she swayed. “It’s three o’clock in the morning. Michael’s asleep.”

  “I won’t wake him.” She clutched at Selim’s arm, willing the weakness to go away. “I need to see him, Selim.”

  “Very well.” Selim’s arm remained around her as he snatched the rose satin robe from the bottom of the bed. “Put this on.”

  She obediently thrust her arms into the robe and drew it over her nightgown before tying the belt.

  Selim tied the belt of her robe as if she were a small child unable to dress herself. “Now, sit down while I find your slippers.”

  She shook her head. “I need to go now.” She was getting more exhausted by the minute, and she knew her stamina was diminishing.

  “Lord, you’re stubborn.” He shrugged helplessly. “Come on, let’s go. I’ll see if I can get you back to bed before you collapse.”

  “I won’t collapse.”

  Selim’s arm supported her waist as he led her slowly toward the door. “The hell you won’t.”

  The halls seemed miles long and each step drained her of a little more energy. By the time Selim finally stopped in front of one of the doors in the second corridor, she was finding it difficult to remain upright. Selim cursed softly and vehemently beneath his breath as he noticed her pallor.

  “One look at Michael and I take you back to bed,” he said as he opened the door. “One look …”

  There was a lamp burning on the bedside table across the room, casting a pool of light on the little boy sleeping in the big bed. Michael. She took an eager step into the room.

  And Damon.

  Damon was kneeling by the bed, his dark curly head resting on the pillow beside Michael’s. He was sound asleep. She stopped, her gaze resting on the man and the boy. It was all right. The terrible foreboding of something wrong was gone. It had vanished the minute she had caught sight of Damon. Once before she had awakened in the night thinking her fear was for Michael and then realized it was for Damon. Tonight she had made the same mistake again. It had been some hidden worry concerning Damon that had caused her this alarm. Her gaze caressed the broad plane of his cheek, the dark lashes closed in sleep, before shifting to Michael. They were so much alike, she thought tenderly. Boyish, impulsive, loving.

  Hers.

  Not only Michael, but Damon. Bound to her by that golden chain that no longer seemed at all threatening.

  “Are you ready to go back?” Selim asked in a low voice.

  Her gaze clung to Damon’s face as she slowly nodded her head.

  Selim urged her gently toward the door. “I told you he was fine.”

  “Yes.” Everything was fine. Wonderfully, beautifully fine. “I had to see for myself.”

  Damon’s head suddenly lifted as her voice carried to him, his gaze flying toward them. He muttered a curse and was on his feet, hurrying across the room. “Selim, what the hell are you doing?”

  “She wanted to see the boy.”

  “And you decided to give in and let her have her way.” He was lifting Cory, carrying her from the room and down the hall. “I expected you to have some sense even if she doesn’t.”

  Selim hurried after him. “She’s a damn stubborn woman. You should know that.”

  Cory snuggled closer, her ear pressed to Damon’s chest. Damon’s heart throbbing, pounding with strength. Such a wonderful secure sound, she thought contentedly. Why had she been so afraid of his strength? The fear seemed a lifetime away. “Damon.”

  He glanced down at her. “You’ll be okay. It’s natural that you should feel weak. You shouldn’t have gotten out of bed.”

  “I had to get up,” she whispered.

  He nodded. “Michael … I guess it was too much to hope that you’d believe me when I told you he wasn’t hurt.”

  “No, not Michael.” She closed her eyes. “You. It was you.”

  “Didn’t Selim tell you? You won’t have to worry anymore about me victimizing you. You’re leaving Kasmara.”

  “No.” It was a protest, but he didn’t understand.

  “It’s true, dammit.” He drew a harsh breath. “You don’t have to worry any longer.”

  They had reached her suite and Selim quickly opened the door and then stepped aside to let them en
ter. Damon carried her over to the bed and carefully laid her down on the pillows and pulled the sheet up around her.

  “I’m not worrying.” She tried to hold back the exhaustion that was threatening. She had to talk to Damon. There was so much she had to say. She forced her lids to open. Poor Damon, she thought with a surge of tenderness. He looked so tired and unhappy. “Lie down beside me.”

  He stiffened. “What?”

  “You’re tired …” Her lids refused to stay open any longer. “So tired.”

  “For heaven’s sake, she’s almost out of her head and you let her go running all over the palace. I feel like drawing and quartering you, Selim.”

  “She seemed clear-headed enough before,” Selim protested. “And determined as the devil.”

  She wasn’t out of her head, she thought indignantly. She had never seen things with such clarity in her entire life. Everything seemed so simple. It was as if a beam of light had spread its light around her as she had stood there gazing at Damon and Michael. But it wasn’t worth arguing about right now.

  She would wait until she was stronger to tell Damon how much she loved him.

  “I’m not going until I see Damon,” Cory said flatly. “So you can just tell the servants to take the suitcases out of the helicopter and bring them back to my suite.”

  Selim frowned. “Damon doesn’t want to see you, Cory.”

  “Too bad.” Cory stood up and smoothed her dress around her hips. “Because I want very much to see him. He hasn’t even stuck his head into my room in the last three days, and I’ll be damned if I let him whisk me away from Kasmara without seeing him. I feel as if I’m being run out of town.”

  “You know that isn’t true,” Selim said quietly. “Damon’s finding this parting very difficult. It’s natural for a man to avoid pain if it’s possible. He’s already said good-bye to Michael and—”

  “Then he can say good-bye to me too. Where is he?”

  “The library, but you—”

  She didn’t hear the rest of Selim’s sentence. She was already out of the suite and walking down the corridor.

  A few minutes later she threw open the door of the library. “Why won’t you talk to me?” she demanded as she stepped into the room.

  Damon rose from the executive chair behind the desk and she could see the muscles of his shoulders tauten as if he were bracing himself. “It’s not necessary. You have what you want and—”

  “Do I? I’m not so sure.” She came toward him. “But I intend to find out. Why are you letting us leave Kasmara?”

  “What difference does it make? You’re going. You can have your life just exactly as you had it before. Michael. Koenig.” He grimaced. “Have you called Koenig to tell him you’re rushing back to his loving arms?”

  “Gary was never my lover. He’s my friend.”

  “A friend with whom you’ve spent innumerable nights.”

  “How did you know that?” Her gaze narrowed on his face.

  “The same way I knew about Michael.”

  “Detectives?” She shook her head. “I don’t like that Damon.”

  “I can’t do anything about that now, can I?” he said wearily. “It’s all water under the bridge.”

  “Yes, it is.” She shrugged and dismissed the subject. “Gary lost his wife and child in an auto accident. Since then he’s been pretty much on the skids, and about nine months ago he tried to cut his wrists. When he needs someone to talk to, I make sure I’m there for him.”

  “You could have told me,” he said harshly. “Do you know how often I’ve thought of the two of you together, his hands on you.…”

  “Water under the bridge,” she quoted back to him softly. “We’ve both made mistakes, Damon.” She paused. “That’s why I think we should stop and take another look at what we both want.”

  “It doesn’t matter what I want. My God, I nearly killed both you and Michael.”

  She gazed at him in surprise. “What are you talking about? I’m the one who was driving the jeep. If the accident was anyone’s fault, it was mine.”

  “You were trying to get away from me,” he said hoarsely. “It had to be partly my fault.”

  “You didn’t know I’d panic and bolt.”

  “I should have known.” His eyes were haunted. “I know you, Cory. I should have realized how you’d react when I tried to … I knew how you’d hate the idea of being owned.” He was silent a moment. “I just didn’t see any other way to keep you with me. I guess I went a little crazy.”

  “Well, you sure scared the hell out of me,” she said dryly.

  “And if you stayed with me, I’d probably do it again. I’d lose control and forget what I did to you and try to keep you with me whether you wanted to stay or not.” He shook his head. “Though God knows why you’d want to do that after what I did to you.”

  “Damon—” She looked at him with a mixture of tenderness and exasperation. “You were not responsible for that accident. I want to stay with you. Why can’t you listen to me?”

  “Because I can’t.” His eyes were tortured. “Don’t you understand? I can’t!” He strode past her and out of the library. “I don’t have the right.”

  A moment later the sound of his footsteps faded away in the distance, but Cory stood as if rooted to the same spot.

  She finally understood. All the pieces were falling neatly into place. Selim had said she knew Damon well enough now to realize what was motivating him to send her away. It was true. It was incredibly stupid of her not to have comprehended before.

  Understanding was one thing. Changing Damon’s mind might be next to impossible.

  She suddenly turned and strode back in the direction of her suite. She would change his mind, dammit. But she needed time alone with him in a place where he couldn’t run away as he had done just now. A desert island would be ideal, she thought ruefully.

  Then her eyes brightened as a sudden thought occurred to her. Why not? She would need help, but that shouldn’t be too difficult to acquire.

  Her pace quickened as she went in search of Selim.

  NINE

  “SHE’S GONE,” SELIM said as soon as he walked into Damon’s suite.

  Damon inhaled sharply. He had been expecting it, but the news twisted inside him like a knife. “When?” he asked.

  “Just now.”

  Damon frowned. “Why the hell didn’t you go with her? I told you that—”

  “I did go with her,” Selim interrupted. “I dropped her off and came back.”

  “You know I didn’t want you merely to take them to Marasef. You were supposed to escort them to New York and make sure they were settled.”

  “There’s no ‘they,’ ” Selim said placidly. “Only Cory.”

  “What?”

  “Michael is still here. Well, not at the palace. Cory asked me to take him to Bettina at the villa.”

  Damon gazed at him, stunned. “She left Michael?”

  “Only temporarily.” A faint smile touched Selim’s lips. “She thought he should have company since you weren’t going to be here either.”

  Damon’s hands closed into fists at his sides. “What the devil are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Then I don’t know what Cory’s going to do. She doesn’t know how to survive in the desert and she told me not to come back.” Selim shrugged. “I guess she’ll just have to take her chances.”

  “Selim, where is Cory?” Damon enunciated every word very carefully.

  “I told you. In the desert. At approximately the same location as the tent you ordered put up the night Cory was hurt.”

  “Why would—” Damon drew a steadying breath. “Go get her.”

  Selim shook his head. “Didn’t you hear me? She said she was going to stay there until you came to get her yourself. I have no intention of going after her.” He met Damon’s gaze. “Of course, you can send someone else after her. But you know how stubborn Cory can be, and she might get hurt if they try to force
her. I don’t think you’d want that.”

  “You know damn well I couldn’t let that happen.”

  “Yes,” Selim said. “So I really think you’d better leave right away, don’t you?”

  Damon started for the door. “It seems I have no choice,” he said through his teeth. “Have the helicopter ready to go when I get back.”

  “I think I’ll wait,” Selim said with a slight smile. “As I said, Cory can be a very determined lady.”

  He was coming.

  Cory rubbed her moist palms on the skirt of her robe as she watched the jeep approaching. There was no sense in being nervous. She could either pull this off or she couldn’t.

  Dear heaven, she had to pull it off.

  The jeep was so much closer now, the wheels spraying sand wildly in all directions as Damon gunned the motor. A frown was furrowing his brow and his shoulders were stiff with tension.

  He drew up before the tent, jumping out of the vehicle a second after he’d switched off the ignition. “Cory?”

  “I’m here,” she called from just inside the tent. “You shouldn’t have driven the jeep so fast. You weren’t even wearing your seat belt. Didn’t you learn anything from what happened to me?”

  “I learned a hell of a lot.” He strode into the tent. “I learned—” He stopped short as he saw her. “What the devil are you wearing?”

  She touched the skirt of the scarlet robe. “Selim got it for me. I thought it appropriate since you obviously need reminding that you asked me to be your wife. I don’t approve of labels, so look your fill. You’ll never see me wear it again.” She turned in a circle. “Do you like it?”

  “Yes. I think you look …” His voice lowered. “Why are you doing this? Why the masquerade?”

  “It’s no masquerade.” She met his gaze. “It’s a come-as-what-you-want-to-be party. I want to be your wife, Damon.”

  He seemed stunned. “You said you wanted to stay, but I didn’t think you meant marriage.”

  “I want the whole shebang. I want to marry you. I want to share Michael and your life and my life and the El Zabor’s life and …” She waved an encompassing hand. “There’s nothing I don’t want to share with you.”