Hunger (The Seductors Series)

by B. L. Wilde

  “H…how do you know that name?” I whispered, fear shooting through me. If I failed this mission, we were both as good as dead.

  “You’ve been saying it in your sleep this week. I’m worried about you,” he sighed, stroking my back. I relaxed instantly. It wasn’t what I thought. We were safe for the time being. “You said her name when you had your nightmare the other night, too.” Shit! I’d been having frequent flashbacks. I always did when it was close to the anniversary of her death. This month was never easy for me because the memories crept into my dreams often. I could fight them back sometimes, but Oliver’s arms had felt like heaven the other night, keeping me safe, making me feel loved after so long.

  “She was my older sister,” I mumbled, still hugging my knees tight against my body. I couldn’t afford to break—not now, not ever.

  “You have a sister?”

  “I had a sister.” I swallowed, quickly getting out of bed to grab my robe and put it on.

  “Are you running again?” Oliver winced, still sitting on the bed, looking down at his hands. Run? Was that what was worrying him?

  “No, I was going to make us both some coffee so we can talk,” I sighed with a small smile. Was I being serious? Was I going to tell Oliver about Mina?

  “You’re really ready for that?” he asked worriedly. “If you’re not, it can wait. I just want you, Jade. I’m sorry I brought it up. It’s just that I’ve been worried about you.”

  “I want to tell you parts. I need to do this. I’ve kept this shit inside me for too long. You wanted to know why I run, well, it’s because of Mina,” I admitted with a shy smile before making my way down his grand staircase. I was being so honest with him, though I wasn’t even sure how much I could tell him. Georgie was the only person who knew the whole story, but I wanted to confide in Oliver as much as I could. He had a way of making me feel safe, and I knew that was because I loved him. The truth was I had been thinking about confiding in him for weeks. That’s what you did with the person you loved, right?

  I didn’t hear Oliver join me in his kitchen until he wrapped his arms around me from behind. “I know I shouldn’t be freaking out, but I’m so worried you’ll run after you’ve told me about your sister.” I turned and was greeted by his troubled, dark eyes.

  “I’m not running. I can’t anymore,” I whispered, running my hands down his bare chest and stopping at his heart. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I fought them back. Telling Oliver I loved him would have to wait. I didn’t want to taint it with what I was about to reveal about my past.

  “You know I want to believe you—it’s habit, ignore me.”

  “I don’t want it to be habit. You mean everything to me. Why else do you think I came back?”

  “Jade, I have to guard my heart—you’ve already broken it once. You’re here, yet part of me still feels as if you’re untouchable…a dream in so many ways. It’s been almost a year and still I know nothing about you, but I keep falling.” This wasn’t how I envisioned the conversation, but I didn’t want to change the direction, either. Not yet.

  “You’re not the only one falling,” I whispered, hanging my head. He could be so distracting. I wasn’t confessing my love right now; it wasn’t the right time. He wouldn’t let me look away from him, though. His fingertips tilted my chin, lifting my eyes back to his.

  “You want to talk—let’s talk,” he sighed, taking my hand and leading me into his grand living room. He was about to take a seat on the couch next to me when he suddenly remembered the coffee I had started.

  My heart was racing. Mina wasn’t an easy topic for me. I was about to bare part of my soul to him—show him a side of me that he might not like. Oliver was going to see my last layer, and the weak, selfish Jade that was trapped deep inside me.

  “You’re still shaking. Are you sure you don’t want something stronger?” he asked, handing me a mug of coffee. I shook my head, taking a deep breath and trying to calm myself. “Take your time, Beautiful. I’m not going anywhere,” he soothed, sitting next to me.

  We sat in silence for a few minutes because I wasn’t sure where to start. I had to be careful not to give actual true events away. The fake family names on my Jade Gibb’s record were still the same I’d had in real life, and just like every other mission I’d ever undertaken in The Seductors, my sister was deceased. It was like losing her all over again with each mission. I shook the thoughts away. They weren’t getting me anywhere. Oliver was still sitting next to me, waiting patiently. Just go with it, Jade.

  “M…Mina was killed over ten years ago,” I muttered, staring into my coffee mug. I heard Oliver’s sharp intake of breath and continued. “She was my older sister and I adored her. I was a reckless teenager, always getting into trouble with my dad and stepmom. Mina understood me. She was the only person I ever listened to. I…I never meant…” I began choking on my words as the sobs erupted deep in my chest.

  “Jade, Sweetheart. It’s okay. Take your time,” Oliver soothed. “The moment you want to stop—stop.”

  I nodded and swallowed, trying to control my whimpers. “I never should have gone to that stupid fucking party,” I seethed, forcing my words out. “Mina told me it was a bad idea, but now…I…I have to live with that mistake for the rest of my life. Oliver, Mina is dead…b…because of me. I killed…h…her.” My confession brought me to my knees as I slid off the couch, and within seconds, Oliver pulled me onto his lap as the sobs took over my entire body. I couldn’t stop the tears as they fell fat and fast down my face.

  “Hush, Baby. I’ve got you,” he cooed, rocking me back and forth.

  “M…Mina came to get me from the party,” I cried into his chest. “She dragged me out of there by my hair. I was so angry with her, I…we argued in the car. She kept asking me to put my seatbelt on and I…re…refused.” The pain of remembering was making my chest ache. It felt as if acid was seeping through it, burning all my veins away. “She had to undo her belt to fasten…m…mine.” Oliver was still holding me tightly. I knew he must have already worked out what I was going to say next, but I forged on. “I began to struggle, fighting her off. Neither of us saw the other car coming. Mina…Mi…managed to fasten my seatbelt…sec…seconds before the other car hit us head on.” His grip on me became tighter. “She didn’t stand a chance. She went straight through the windshield and…and…died on impact.” With those words, I was done. My whole body was jerking in spasms. I’d killed my sister—the one person I loved more than anything in this world. My father was right. It should have been me, not her! I’d already taken my mother from him when I had been born, and then I took Mina. I was evil.

  I had no idea how long Oliver held me, and when I tried to fight against him, he refused to let me go. He could read my body so well. He knew I needed him…to feel his arms around me, reassuring me, making me think that everything was going to be okay.

  “Whatever you think, Jade, you didn’t kill your sister. It was an accident. She was looking out for you. That’s what family does,” Oliver murmured into my hair. “Did you run away? Is that what all of this is about? Why you didn’t want your photo taken by the press? You ran away, didn’t you?”

  I lifted my head, stunned that he knew me that well. “I wasn’t wanted. I’d already caused enough trouble. Running was the easiest thing I’d ever done—I didn’t have to face my feelings or come to terms with what I’d caused. I pushed it to the back of my mind. I’ve only ever told Georgie, and well…it’s almost the anniversary of Mina’s death. I…I get flashbacks whenever it gets close.”

  “You’re wanted now, Jade.” Oliver’s voice was hoarse with emotion. My pain was etched all over his face. “You’re not alone. I’m here.” His lips were quick to mold against mine in a frenzy of lust. My confession had ignited a hunger deep inside me, too. I needed him to take my pain away with his kisses and touch. He was the only man who could make me forget.

  “Jade,” he moaned, undoing the tie on my robe. His voice was a plea. He kne
w I’d just bared my soul to him—that I was his.

  Rubbing myself against his erection, I was grateful that he was only in sweatpants. I was already naked now that he’d pulled my robe off my body. He stood quickly, lifting me with him, and yanked his sweats off. I couldn’t stop grinding my sex against him. I needed any friction I could get.

  Our tongues were clashing, our hands roaming everywhere. I had no idea where shy Jade had gone, but I couldn’t rein myself in. I wanted him too much.

  I pushed him back against the couch, running my nails down his chest, leaving bright red marks. He was already too lost in me to notice as he pulled me over his length. I rocked against him, teasing him, feeling myself become wetter.

  “I need you to fuck the shit out of me,” I purred against his mouth. “I want you to make me forget everything, even my own name.” Oliver thrust up and pulled me down onto his member at the same time as an answer. “Yes!” I cried out, arching back, letting him take control.

  His attack was relentless as he pounded into me over and over again. He held my hips tightly, using them to move me up and down his cock. The feeling of him stretching me—claiming me in such a primal way—consumed me. All I could feel was his love for me.

  He may have been fucking me senseless, but he took his time, building my orgasm only to deny me the fall. It was driving me crazy. I needed my release.

  “Oliver!” I pleaded, digging my nails into his shoulders.

  “Not yet, Beautiful. Wait for me. I’m almost there,” he groaned, licking and sucking my right nipple. Wait? I wasn’t sure I could. I was ready to explode.

  Just when I thought he couldn’t get any deeper, he tilted me back at an angle and I swear I was going to see stars. Hitting that spot over and over, I couldn’t hold on a moment longer. My orgasm hit me, ripping through my body like hurricane. I was on sensory overload. He came seconds later, my orgasm setting off his own. Holy fuck! That was an orgasm!

  Oliver pulled me to him as we both collapsed on the couch, completely spent.

  “Why are you staring at me like that?” he chuckled an hour later. We were still on the couch, wrapped up together in a blanket.

  “I like looking at you,” I sighed, resting on his chest and gazing up at him.

  Lying here with him, content for the first time in my life, I knew one thing; I didn’t want to hide my feelings for him anymore. I wasn’t going to use my love to trick him into giving up the power core for The Seductors, though.

  I was doing this for me. I may be a heartless bitch who killed her own sister, but Oliver knew that and was still here. Surely that gave us hope for the future.

  With his love, I could get through anything—even lying to him for the rest of our lives. He was my savior—the only man to make me feel good about myself in more than ten years. Even if Jade Gibbs was a lie, she was who I wanted to be when I left The Seductors.

  “I like looking at you, too,” he sighed, stroking my face. “We should think about going to bed. It’s late.”

  “I am exhausted.” I stretched, planting a few soft kisses on his chest before moving off him.

  “Wait,” Oliver called before I was about to ascend the staircase. I turned, taking him in. The moonlight was caressing his body, and he looked like a dream standing there in just his sweats. “If tonight is the night for confessions, I have one of my own. One that I haven’t been able to share with anyone, and it’s been eating away at me for months. I need to tell you, Jade, before it drives me insane.” Oh no! No, Oliver, don’t tell me about the power core, please! Not yet!

  “This sounds serious. Do I need to get us both a lager?” I questioned, moving to pick my robe up and put it on.

  “I’ll get them,” he sighed.

  “Is this about your uncle?” I asked when he joined me again on the couch. “I’ll try harder with him. I’m sorry about earlier. I was so excited about your reaction to your office, I wasn’t thinking.”

  “This is bigger than my uncle, Jade,” he sighed, taking a sip of his beer before placing it down on the table. “What I’m about to tell you is top secret—my uncle doesn’t even know.”

  “Oliver, as long as you don’t have a secret wife and six children, nothing will shock me.” I tried to lighten the mood. He chuckled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

  “My company has developed a new nuclear machine.” My confession had broken him down. He was about to tell me everything. I just knew it!

  “Isn’t that what your company is supposed to do?” I frowned, acting confused. As much as I hated it, I had to play him. I needed this information to keep us both alive. I’d never expected my confession to move Oliver like this, though. It was all so wrong.

  “This weapon is unlike anything the world has ever seen. I’m playing God, Jade, and I don’t know if I’m doing something right or wrong by funding it. In the wrong hands, it will destroy the whole world.”

  “You said your weapons keep the peace. Why would this one be any different?”

  “It’s core is different,” he muttered, taking another swig of beer. “You’re looking at a weapon three times more powerful than any nuclear weapon ever made.” I was stunned. He had just confessed. “Say something. Do you think I’m a monster for allowing it to be created?” he stressed, touching my hand. Oliver a monster? Was he insane?

  “Why would you think that?” I gasped.

  “Macy completed the testing last week. The core works, but there are a few issues with it and we may have to make some adjustments. It’s unstable. I won’t let her tell Dylan yet, because I’m not sure if I should just abandon the whole thing or not. The world isn’t ready for this kind of weapon, Jade. I’m sure of it. I can’t be responsible for a war breaking out. It will kill me!” I pulled him close, trying to sooth his panic. My suspicions had been right about Macy and Dylan.

  “You should have told me about this sooner. You can’t wear the weight of the world on your shoulders like that.”

  “What should I do?”

  “I don’t know.” I smiled sadly, running my hands into his hair.

  “I can’t keep Macy quiet forever. Dylan will suspect something. I’m stuck. I need to make a decision and soon.”

  “Is that why you were arguing with her last month?”

  “Yes. She was angry that I was keeping information from Dylan. I can’t help it, though. I haven’t known him as long as I’ve known Macy. I don’t trust easily. I can’t in my line of work.” Yet he trusted me, and I’d played him. How could I do that to the man I loved?

  “Why are you keeping information from him?”

  “I’m worried about this core getting into the wrong hands. I’ve heard a rumor about a secret agency being hired to steal the blueprints to the machine, too.” Composure, Jade! I was sure all the blood had just drained from my face. “I know it sounds ridiculous. No one could get that close to me, but those are the lengths some people will go to gain my weapons.”

  “Wow! I thought my job had been stressful.” My voice was way too high. “Who would want your machines anyway?”

  “There are many people, but Imogen Windom would be my first suspect. She’s been trying to work with my uncle. The greedy, underhanded bitch.” And probably the client I was working for. “Then there’s Russia, Japan, and Israel. Anyone one of them would want this core.”

  “I’m glad you told me. I want to be there for you, Oliver. You can count on me. Not that I have any idea what you should do, but I hope I’ve lightened this huge burden for you, at least. I’ll never let you down.” I meant my words. If there was a way to trick my client with the power core, I would. There were still so many unanswered questions. Until I knew where the core was being held, coming up with a plan was hopeless.

  But one thing was clear. I wasn’t going to let my client get their hands on this core unless I really had to. I’d protect Oliver anyway I could, and that included his power core.

  Sonia had been right. This was unlike any mission I’d ever been done. For th
e first time ever, my steal wasn’t my priority—my target was.

  “I do feel lighter by telling you,” Oliver smirked sadly, taking my hand in his.

  “I’m sorry I can’t be of more help, but you can talk to me about it anytime you want. Night or day.”

  “That’s all I need, Beautiful. Having someone that I know will listen and not judge.”

  “I’d never judge you—ever.”

  “It’s been quite an eventful night,” he murmured, standing up.

  “You can say that again,” I sighed, letting him lead me upstairs.

  “Are you tired?” he asked, slipping into bed next to me once we were in his bedroom.

  “Not really,” I giggled into his chest. “It’s been a crazy night.”

  “It could get crazier,” he smirked. Something told me he wasn’t talking about sex this time. “I want to tell you what you mean to me, but I don’t want a repeat of last time. I can’t ever lose you again. You mean too much to me now. Even more than before.”

  If there had ever been a time to admit my feelings for Oliver, it was now, so I let the words fall out of my mouth as I drowned in my love for him.

  “We need to do it a little differently this time then,” I mused, moving to straddle him. Oliver looked surprised at my sudden action. “I’ve been fighting my feelings ever since I met you. I’m not running again.”

  “You’ve confessed enough tonight. I can wait, I promise. I don’t want to put pressure on you. That’s where I went wrong the last time. I won’t lose you again, Jade.”

  “No, I want to do this. Oliver, before I met you, I had nothing. No one wanted me or cared, and I was scared you’d wake up one day and not want me, either. But I’m not afraid anymore.”

  “You’ll never need to be afraid. There will never come a time that I don’t want you. I’ve never been a selfish man, but with you, I can’t help it. You’re the one I want for myself. Do you understand what I’m trying to say? I don’t care if my uncle or the whole world thinks I’m crazy because you’re not a nuclear physicist or some highflying, rich businesswoman. I never wanted that in my partner anyway. You are all I’ve ever wanted. I knew that the moment I met you.”