Forever Friends

by Sarah Mackenzie

  “Sadie Landry?” a nurse called from the door, holding a clipboard. “You can come on back now.”

  “See you around, Maria.”

  Holding Lincoln and his medley of toys in her arms, Sadie followed the nurse down the long hall and into an exam room. After a lengthy conversation regarding Sadie’s medical history and last menstrual cycle, the nurse took a few vital measurements and a blood sample.

  “Dr. Jennings will be in soon. Your gown is on the table.” The nurse motioned toward the aforementioned paper gown, one of the many humiliating parts of any gynecological visit. “Will anyone be joining you today?”

  “I’m afraid my husband couldn’t get away from work.” She kept her voice overly bright, but the room felt too big, too empty without Ethan here. She rubbed her hand on her jeans, suddenly aching for him to hold it.

  The nurse gave her a “men, they get us into this mess then leave us to deal with it” smile, before exiting the room.

  Sadie changed into the embarrassing paper gown and tried to sit as politely as she could on the examination table, attempting to be cool and composed like meeting her future child via ultrasound was something she did every day. Thankfully, Lincoln was happily occupied with his beloved cash register. She wondered if the new baby would be a budding checkout person too.

  Dr. Jennings, a middle-aged woman with tawny skin and thin black braids, knocked on the door a very long ten minutes later. “Hi Sadie,” she said with a smile, revealing perfect teeth. “Nice to meet you.”

  Sadie typically saw Dr. Monroe, who happened to be on maternity leave herself.

  “Nice to meet you, too,” she said, overly polite. Why did she always try to kiss up to doctors?

  “And what’s your name?” Dr. Jennings bent to Lincoln’s level.

  “Link,” he said cheerfully, not taking his eyes off his toy. “Want buy something?”

  Dr. Jennings pulled a book about a teddy bear visiting the doctor off a nearby shelf and handed it to him. “This book, please.”

  “That will be two dollar.”

  “Perfect.” She rummaged in her pocket and pretended to hand Lincoln money. “Looks like I have two dollars exactly. Thank you, sir!”

  “Welcome!”

  Sadie smiled. She liked Dr. Jennings.

  Dr. Jennings stood beside her. “So, baby number two. How are you feeling this time around?”

  “Nervous,” Sadie immediately replied, before trying to backtrack. “I mean, absolutely excited, too, of course. I’m not entirely sure how it happened. I mean I know the mechanics or whatever, but I was never great about tracking my periods. I was actually on the pill when it happened. I think I missed one…or two.”

  Sadie braced herself for some sort of judgmental comment from Dr. Jennings, but it never came. “Maybe an IUD would be better after this pregnancy,” she said instead, her voice kind and understanding. “It’s hard to remember to do something at the same time every day, and when you put a toddler into the mix? Yikes.”

  Sadie smiled. “Seriously.”

  “Now, let’s take a look.” Dr. Jennings pulled on a pair of gloves and did a quick pelvic exam. “Everything looks good. Are you ready to see your new addition?”

  Sadie took a deep breath as the ultrasound went between her legs.

  And then?

  A grainy little gummy bear came into view on the screen. Dr. Jennings squinted.

  “Is everything okay?” Sadie asked, her voice suddenly thick and anxious.

  Dr. Jennings adjusted the wand two, three, four times. “Hmmmmm.” Dr. Jennings frowned slightly, making Sadie nervous. “I’m not seeing a heartbeat. Given the gestational age, I would have expected to see one by now.”

  Sadie shivered, a coldness flushing through her veins. “What does that mean?”

  “It’s too soon to make a call. I’d like you to come back in a week and we’ll try again.” Dr. Jennings furrowed her brows. “The pregnancy might not be a viable one. I’m so sorry.”

  “Oh. Oh, okay,” she murmured, numb as an Arctic winter.

  Dr. Jennings offered both reassurances and possible medical explanations as to why this had happened, but she wasn’t listening. She couldn’t focus on anything except the sound of Lincoln cashing out again and again.

  “I’ll see you back here in a week?” Dr. Jennings repeated, maybe understanding that Sadie was hardly comprehending. “And please call the office if you start cramping or bleeding.”

  “Right. Yes. Good.”

  God, no. Not good. Bad. Very bad.

  Sadie crumpled the paper gown and left it on the exam table. She pulled on her panties and jeans and held her hands against her lower abdomen. Was this her fault? Did she manifest a potential miscarriage? It was no secret she’d been upset to discover she was pregnant once again.

  Sadie and Lincoln walked back outside, the warm spring sun burning her skin. She stared at her SUV, the short walk to the expectant mothers space suddenly insurmountable. Why had she even parked there to begin with? She was nothing but a phony, a fraud.

  She had never been religious, and yet, Sadie wondered if this was the universe’s way of saying she didn’t deserve a second blessing, that she wouldn’t be able to handle another child.

  Now that the new baby’s fate was in jeopardy, she wanted him or her more than anything else she had ever wanted.

  Everything felt different. And she wanted her husband very badly.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Whoa. You look different.” Betsy Franklin, the town’s mail carrier commented as she set a stack of envelopes on top of the reception desk.

  “Do I?” Renee feigned innocence, taking a sip of her morning coffee.

  “Haircut?”

  “No.”

  “Facial?”

  “Ha. Not in this decade. Maybe it’s the scrubs. I watched that Marie Kondo show over the weekend. Tidying Up? Well, I discovered all sorts of things I’d completely forgotten about in the closet.”

  Betsy nodded. “My sister was just telling me I should watch that show. She thinks my snow globe collection has gotten out of hand.”

  “How many are you up to now?”

  “Seventy-five. I officially had to move a few to the guest bathroom.”

  That sounds like way too many snow globes.

  Betsy shrugged. “Anyway, maybe I’ll check it out. See you tomorrow.”

  Renee fingered the hoops in her ears. She was wearing a pair of earrings from Chickadee. Just a little fancification.

  Dan came in through the front door and her body tensed, pulling tight as a bow.

  Good lord, his eyes looked extra blue today. Had he always looked so gorgeous in his crisp white shirt and tan slacks? And now she knew exactly how good he looked under those clothes.

  She smiled a huge smile, her heart swelling at the sign of him.

  But for some reason, he looked nervous? He cleared his throat. “Er, good morning. How was…um, how are you doing?”

  “Pretty great!” Did she need to say it with the enthusiasm of a cheerleader? “You?”

  “Super.” He set the word of the day on her desk.

  Gawky: awkward or clumsy.

  “Isn’t it ironic,” Renee murmured.

  “What’s that?”

  “I said the mail’s here.” She reached for the stack and handed it to him with increasing uneasiness. It had been less than two hours. Why was he acting weird? Her happy zing started fizzling.

  “Thanks.” He slid the envelopes beneath his left arm. “So, uh, we should—”

  “Dr. Hanlon! Dr. Hanlon!” Seven-year-old Mia Waters exclaimed, trampling through the door and up to the reception desk. Even on her tiptoes, they could only see the very top of the little girl’s head. “You’ve gotta see me quick. My mom told me if I’m brave today I get a pet hamster!”

  Rachael Waters pulled up the rear with Mia’s two younger siblings, a set of boy-and-girl twins.

  “I’ve resorted to bribery.” She sighed, stopping to wipe
a piece of banana off her son’s chin. “At this rate, I’m going to end up with a zoo.”

  “Happens to the best of us.” Renee checked them in on the computer. “It looks like all of your paperwork is up-to-date, Rachael. Why don’t you all head on back with Dr. Hanlon?”

  Mia Waters was getting a wart removed today. Even though it was a routine produce, wart freezing even gave Renee, a rational adult, the heebie-jeebies. A pet hamster seemed like fair compensation.

  What had Dan been about to say? It didn’t sound like he was leading in to sharing what an amazing night he’d experienced.

  Warmness pooled between her legs as memories of their night together ran through her mind, making her heart beat faster.

  She wasn’t the most experienced of partners, but even she could tell he was a good one. He’d made her feel like the most beautiful, most desirable woman in the world. The way he’d looked at her, the way he’d touched her…ravenous yet gentle. Afterward, coming not once, not twice, but three times, she’d slept more soundly than she had in years, his warm body nestled beside hers, his protective arm holding her close against his broad chest.

  That next morning, Moe had found his way into her bedroom and curled at their feet. He looked as happy and content as she felt, his eyes peacefully closed and softly snoring. She’d slipped into a nightshirt the evening before, but a quick peek beneath the covers confirmed that Dan had slept naked.

  Renee let out a small squeal at the thought.

  Her boss had spent the night naked in her bed.

  How was she ever supposed to wash her sheets again?

  Twenty minutes later, Renee reviewed the office charge with Rachael Waters while trying not to imagine the clever tricks Dan had done with his fingers. “What color will your new hamster be?”

  “Black and white with a pink nosey!” Mia’s little brother volunteered.

  “His name’s gonna be Fluffy,” Mia announced with an air of pride.

  Rachael thanked her one last time, and the family trooped back outside.

  Renee briefly wondered where one bought a hamster in Cranberry Cove before looking at the clock—their next patient wasn’t expected for another ten minutes. Now would be an excellent time to make a move. She could go back to his office, check if he needed anything. Would he press her against the wall, tickling her neck with his bristly face as it made its way toward her cleavage? Or would he be softer, gentler than that, perhaps pulling her to his chest as she luxuriated in the feel of his hands spanning her waist.

  She tiptoed up the hall, heart pounding in anticipation, and just as she was about to step into his office with a flirty, “Hey, handsome,” she stopped short.

  He stood with his back toward her, holding a framed photo of his dead wife.

  Suddenly it felt wrong to stand there, too voyeuristic and intrusive. This moment felt private and not for her. It felt wrong to want. What if his wife was watching from above thinking “Hands off my man.”

  Goose bumps broke out along the back of her arms. She retreated to her desk and took a sip of coffee with shaking hands.

  Everything had felt so magical that she’d never fully considered Dan’s position. He’d lost his wife. His wife! Who knew how he was feeling right now. Losing her own parents in quick succession a few years ago had been a devastating blow. Some days she’d feel fine, and then out of the blue, it would feel like the earth had opened up and threatened to swallow her whole.

  The remainder of the morning, Renee quietly freaked out. What should she say? What should she do? Share that she caught him in that moment? Let it go? For Dan’s part, he was more introspective than usual, and certainly more gawky. They were constantly bumping into one another in the carpeted hall, each mumbling apologies and evading eye contact at all cost.

  Then Essie Park burst through the door at noon.

  “There’s my favorite future pie shop owner in all of Cranberry Cove!” She removed her straw sunhat with a flourish and shook out her impossibly perfect hair. “How goes it?”

  “That’s an awfully specific title, especially for a woman who hasn’t signed the papers yet.” Renee couldn’t help but smile, though. That would be a pretty amazing title to have.

  “Tell me you’re thinking about it.”

  “Yes,” she promised. “Sadie told me about her and Lincoln’s tour of the mill. It sounds pretty special.”

  “‘Pretty special’ doesn’t begin to cover it. The space is outstanding.” Essie reached into her tan leather handbag and procured a crisp white envelope. “Hey, do me a favor and pass this along to Dr. Dan?”

  Renee took the envelope, examining the beautiful calligraphy.

  “What is it? A wedding invitation?”

  Essie leaned in close, her Joy perfume heavy in the air, and lowered her voice. “It’s an invitation to the Spring Fling Gala. Seems criminal not to invite the hottest bachelor in town. And you know how I love me some silver fox.”

  Renee studied Essie’s pretty face, her perfectly arched eyebrows, her clear skin, and her full, red-painted lips. She had a vintage Hermès scarf tied around her neck and wore her signature diamond studs.

  Next to her, Renee felt like the definition of frumpy.

  “Oh. Okay.” What was the alternative? She couldn’t say Dan was hers. For all she knew she was a rebound, an appetizer as he got back in the game. Maybe he regretted their night. She didn’t have a claim here. “Do you want to wait out here while I give it to him?”

  Essie gave a sly smile. “I actually wrote on the invitation that he should give me a call.”

  “I see.” How long could she plaster this stupid fake smile across her face before her cheeks shattered?

  “Thanks, girlfriend. You’re the best.” Essie secured her hat back on her head as well as a pair of Chanel sunglasses. “Call me later this week. We can grab coffees and stroll around the mill grounds.”

  “Yes. Great.” Renee gave a robotic nod. “Goodbye.”

  “Talk soon!”

  With a deep breath, she trudged back toward Dan’s office. This time he was seated at his desk at least. The picture of Meggie back up on the bookshelf.

  “You’ve got mail.”

  He slid off his thick-rimmed reading glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. God, she loved when he did that. And adored how his office smelled like eucalyptus thanks to a diffuser he kept in the corner.

  He leaned forward. “What’s that?”

  She set the posh invitation on his desk and took two steps back. “A personal invitation to the Spring Fling Gala from Essie Park.”

  “Oh.” He frowned, staring at the envelope but not picking it up.

  Tell me you don’t want to go with her. Tell me you were going to ask me.

  “Oh. Right,” was all he said.

  Awkward. This silence was so freaking awkward.

  “Guess I’ll be seeing you guys there,” she found herself saying.

  “You’re going?” Did he look crestfallen or was that wishful thinking?

  “Uh-huh. Yep, it’s been lined up for weeks.”

  Totally not true. But the last thing Renee wanted to be was a charity case. If a boy likes you, you’ll know it, her mother used to tell them. Don’t waste a second playing silly games.

  Renee still held the sentiments close. She wasn’t going to throw herself at Dan. If he wanted to go to the dance with Essie Park, then he should go right ahead. This was a free country and all that jazz.

  Plus, he was a middle-aged man who’d been to hell and back. He deserved to do whatever—and whoever—he wanted.

  “Right.” Dan looked down at his lap. “Well, thanks for being the courier.”

  “Happy to.” If she smiled any harder her teeth would break.

  That night, Renee poured herself an extra stiff gin and tonic. She squeezed fresh lime juice over the top and gave the drink a good stir.

  She was not a heavy drinker, particularly with cocktails, but tonight she needed something to numb the confusion swirling
inside. She wanted Dan, yes. But her life had been so simple for so long. And simple was nice. Simple didn’t break hearts. Simple didn’t leave you.

  The image of Dan holding the framed photo of Meggie was seared into her mind. The slump of his shoulders, the wrinkles in his forehead.

  A woman like Essie would be better for Dan. She was vivacious and outgoing. She would break him out of his dating cocoon, show him the dazzling sunlight. Renee was too timid, too shy for any of that. If anything, she’d be responsible for a regression.

  “I thought I was lonely, but then I met Renee,” she could imagine him saying to his sports writer brother. “Talk about a strikeout. She was so boring, I’d rather be celibate the rest of my life.”

  Cringe.

  She plunked Grandma Hester’s recipe book on top of the kitchen counter and began to sift through the yellowed pages, each one filled with the woman’s neat cursive. In addition to the recipe itself, Grandma Hester had written little notes in the margins.

  Melissa’s favorite. That child asked me to make this every day for the rest of her life.

  Renee found herself laughing and made a mental note to show the page to Sadie.

  She turned to a recipe for a chocolate–peanut butter torte.

  The combo of chocolate and peanut butter could cure all the world’s problems. I dare say, we’d have world peace if everyone enjoyed this evening dessert.

  If this torte could inspire world peace, it could certainly help mend her crumbling heart. She searched for a jar of crunchy peanut butter and the highest quality chocolate she could find. And then, set to work.

  For hours she sifted, stirred, measured, and baked. She lost herself in the world of Grandma Hester, reading her bits of wisdom with delight.