Assailants, Asphalt & Alibis: A Camper & Criminals Cozy Mystery Series Book 8

by Tonya Kappes

  Mary Elizabeth ran her hands down her Lily Pulitzer jumpsuit and then clasped them in front of her.

  “The library is filled with tourists trying to get their hands on one of John Swift’s treasure maps.” Abby shook her head. “I keep telling them they need to go to the Historical Society.”

  Abby was the local librarian, Tupperware representative, and social media expert.

  “Is that why I’ve had an uptake in calls?” Queenie’s face drew as she stepped to the side to get a good look at Abby. She put her hands on her hips. “I was about to tell the mayor I was stepping down as the Historical Society president because it’s taken up too much time away from my Jazzercise classes.”

  Queenie French was in her sixties. She was active in the community and taught Jazzercise in the undercroft of the Normal Baptist Church. I’d like to say she kept all the citizens of Normal in shape, but she only kept them in the latest gossip.

  “From now on, I’m telling them to go back to the library.” Queenie crossed her arms in frustration.

  “Or don’t answer the phone.” Mary Elizabeth’s face lit up like it did when she heard Nordstrom’s was having their big annual sale. “Abby, you don’t need to worry about the library, because”—Mary Elizabeth bounced with excitement—“we are going to go on the expedition.”

  “Did you get into Bobby Ray’s moonshine?” I asked, referring to my foster brother. “Bobby Ray!” I flailed my arms in the air and yelled over to him, where he was with a group of friends.

  “Hush.” Mary Elizabeth batted my arms out of the air. “I’m serious. We haven’t done anything exciting since I moved here.” She started to count on her fingers. “December, January…” She continued reciting the months. “Eight months I’ve been here and not been camping at all.”

  “In those eight months, you bought the Milkery and opened a bed and breakfast. I’d say you’ve been very busy.” I recalled the dairy farm and all the hard work she and Dawn Gentry had put into the Milkery’s old farmhouse to open a much-needed bed and breakfast in Normal. “Besides, I have to run the campground. Abby has to work at the library, and Queenie, she’d never cancel her Jazzercise classes.”

  “Yes, I would.” Queenie nodded back and forth between me and Mary Elizabeth.

  “I could take some time off too.” Abby shrugged. “I have some vacation time. What are we talking, just the weekend?”

  “Dottie said it’s not real.” A nervous laugh escaped me. I pushed a strand of my curly brown hair behind my ear.

  I had to stop this nonsense. I’d seen that look in Mary Elizabeth’s eye before, and it was the kind that meant when she had her mind on something, nothing stood in her way to get it, whatever it was.

  “If you don’t want to do it, then we will do it.” Mary Elizabeth’s chin lifted in the air, and she looked down her nose at me. “Though I’d normally beg you to wear something presentable, you’re going to have to wear different shoes.”

  I knew when I’d decided to wear the cute sequined flats that Mary Elizabeth would love them. They were from the Neiman Marcus from my former life. A few of the finer things I did keep, and I pulled them out every once in a while. Plus, I loved how they sparkled and glistened like the lightning bugs when I was standing near the campfire.

  “Oh come on, Mae.” Abby nudged me. “It’ll be fun. We can even drive your camper and stay in it instead of a tent.”

  “Sounds wonderful.” Queenie did a grapevine dance move with excitement. “I’ll be here in the morning.” She waved goodbye to us and headed to the parking lot in the front of the campground.

  “This is perfect.” Mary Elizabeth squealed with delight, just like the time I’d agreed to enter the Miss Eastern Kentucky beauty pageant at the county fair when I was sixteen.

  That turned out to be a disaster, and I’d put money on it that this little treasure hunt would be too.

  The three of them had decided upon a time to meet in the morning. We all agreed I’d ask Mason if it was all right so we could be sure he didn’t mind four tagalongs.

  “I’ll text you what he says,” I told them.

  “He can’t stop us from going to look for the treasure.” Queenie was bound and determined to go on the hunt this weekend. “I’m the one they have to register with, so I’ll just march on over to the Historical Society office in the morning and put our names on the list. You just let me know which campsite they are intending to use.”

  “Campsite?” I asked. I was still a little green to most things in the camping world. “You mean campground.”

  “No. I’m talking primitive campsites, but you can put your RV on it, just not all the fancy you got here.” She rolled her hand in front of her. “There are several campsites that cater to the treasure hunters just for the John Swift silver mine expeditions. Unfortunately, some of those roads are gravel and not stable for big recreation vehicles like your RV.” She glanced over her shoulder to Mason’s camper behind his big truck. “He must be going somewhere that’s not too terribly hard to get to if he’s taking that big thing.”

  “Either way, if he is, we can still go somewhere else.” Abby smiled. “I have so many John Swift maps that I can get, it won’t matter where we lay our heads at night.”

  “I’m still in.” Mary Elizabeth rubbed her hands together.

  She looked like she was in with her perfectly styled hair and beautiful red fingernails I was sure she’d just gotten manicured by Helen Pyle down at Cute-icles. However, I would be curious to see Mary Elizabeth without her pearls, which I’ve never done. I swore she slept in them.

  “Fine. Y’all go on home, and I’ll head on over to talk to Mason.” I shooed them off and made my way over to the mayor and Mason’s inner circle.

  “Mighty fine party you hosted.” The mayor flashed her million-dollar pearly white smile that I knew had to come from some dentist not in Normal.

  It was one of the dye jobs only one of those sleep-in dental plates could give, or so claimed the infomercials. She had her long red hair pulled up in a high ponytail like a cheerleader. Her long and lean frame wore a linen jumper with a pair of sensible sandals.

  “Thank you. Mason, I see you met our mayor.” I smiled, looking between them. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

  “And miss a chance to talk to one of Normal’s regular John Swift hunters? Never,” she gasped and drew her hand up to her chest, showing off the hand with no wedding ring. She batted those big eyes. In the dark of the night, I could see Mason blush. “He’s going to find that treasure, and with his advice, I’m so pleased to let him know his suggestion of the asphalt was presented at the Kentucky assembly, and I got it passed.”

  “You did?” Mason sounded a little shocked.

  “What asphalt?” This was the first I’d heard of any projects taking place locally.

  “As a matter of fact, they started a couple of days ago.” She propped her hands on her hips in a bossy way. “I told them the sooner the better.”

  “What asphalt?” I asked a little louder this time.

  “Last year the mayor had asked me what improvements she could make to the trails getting to the Swift mines, and I told her how we could stay longer, which does pour money into the community, if we had roads instead of gravel.” He stomped his food in the gravel we were standing on.

  If he only knew how much asphalt cost to replace the gravel, he’d appreciate that we let him even look for the John Swift, but I kept my mouth shut.

  “I took his suggestion to heart and realized how right he was and saddened the treasure hadn’t been found.” She gave me a squinch-eyed look, like I better not have any sort of opinion on what she was yammering on about. “I went straight to Frankfort for the assembly when it was in session with my concerns, and don’t you know they have grants for things such as this.”

  “As mayor, you didn’t know that?” I just had a hard time keeping my mouth shut. But it was a very reasonable question.

  “I have not only the Kentucky legislatu
re and law to understand, Mae, but also the National Parks laws and regulations that have to go together.” The mayor put her hands together like she was doing a puzzle with her fingers. “And it just so happens, they started on the gravel road to the Furnace.” She raised her brows at me like I knew what the Furnace was.

  “That’s exactly where me and my crew are headed.” Mason seemed very happy with the big news.

  “Now, I did hear some rumblings from our local news reporter there was some whispering about some protesting going on from one of the environmental groups about asphalt.” The mayor was quick to dismiss any sort of claims. “So just keep going tomorrow if anyone is protesting. I’ve got the police on alert.”

  I skimmed over her protest comment and decided to let Mason in on how me and my crew were going to join him.

  “Mason, me and a few of my friends are going to join you if you don’t mind.” I looked Mason in the eyes and tried to determine what kind of man he really was and if he would help us.

  “Ummm…” One of Mason’s crew members let out a loud sort of protest before he cleared his throat and looked down at his feet.

  “Your friends?” Mason looked up at me.

  “Just me and a few of my close friends who have lived here all their lives, minus Mary Elizabeth, but she’ll probably stay in the RV the entire time. Air conditioning and all.” I waved my hand in front of my face.

  “There’s no electrical hookup at the campsite we are going to, so you probably wouldn’t be comfortable if someone needs air.” He looked as if he had an out with me.

  “You know we are in the dog days of summer here.” The mayor fanned her hand before her own face. “My mama never let me play in the creek during the dog days. Said it was bad luck. There are a lot of creeks near the Furnace.”

  “What is the Furnace?” I finally asked.

  “It’s a rock formation believed to be in the area where some of the silver is hidden. And with the new asphalt roads, there is a greater chance someone will finally find the silver after 400 years.” The mayor was still selling the asphalt.

  “You know, I think we’ll be fine.” I shrugged. “If not, we can leave.”

  “According to the Weather Channel, there seems to be a little rain moving in over the weekend but nothing to worry about.” The mayor was saying anything just to keep in the conversation. She seemed a little nervous. “Maybe you and the gals should just hike your trails.”

  “I think we will be fine.” I gave the mayor a hard look.

  “If you really want to go.” Mason gave in, but his friend stormed off. “We will be leaving from here around eight in the morning.”

  “Perfect. We will be ready. Have a good night’s sleep.” I walked away before he could stop and think about us tagging along, not giving him any time to tell me he really didn’t want us to go.

  “Mae! Mayyeee!” The mayor hollered after me and trotted up next to me. I continued to walk. “Don’t you mess this up for Normal. You of all people know how important it is to continue with the great economy.”

  “What are you talking about?” I stopped and turned to look at her, a little confused. “Look at my campground. I obviously have the best in mind for Normal.”

  “You don’t know, do you?” She smiled. “You know it’s just a legend. The silver. I mean, John Swift is real, but it’s been 400 years. No one has found it?” She laughed. Then she stopped when she saw that I’d not joined her. “You really believe the legend, don’t you?”

  “I never heard of the legend until tonight, but Abby and Queenie seem to believe it. We are really just going for the fun of it. Real or not.” I shrugged.

  “I don’t care really what you think, but I’m going to do whatever it takes for everyone in the world to believe somewhere deep in the Daniel Boone National Park, specifically Normal, that the John Swift silver mine is still buried and ready for all the treasure hunters of the world to come here and spend as much money as they want in our town to find it. Do you and I have an understanding?” She cut her eyes at me and started laughing when Mason walked by. “I hope you girls have a great time. And good luck!”

  I stood there watching the mayor sashay off to another group of campers to tout how she’d gotten the government grant for the asphalt.

  “Some tale, right?” The woman I noticed had caught Mason’s stare and almost threw him off his story stopped in front of me. “The John Swift legend,” she clarified when she noticed my confusion.

  “Oh, that.” I laughed. “I had no idea. I’ve been here a while now and still don’t know all the secrets the forest holds.”

  “There’s so many secrets.” She winked and headed off before I got to ask her name or question her any further. “Nice shoes, by the way.”

  Many more secrets? I stared at her since I was now more intrigued with the town I’d made my home. I clicked the heels of my shoes together and smiled.

  “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.” I laughed and headed in the opposite direction.

  TWO

  “I’m coming!” I hollered through my home on wheels from my bedroom, which was located in the far back.

  My new home was a far cry from the Manhattan skyrise or the beautiful beach house in the Hamptons. You might question how on earth did I end up in the camper. Well, I’d say I wasn’t the happiest person in the world when I found out my now-dead ex-husband Paul West, hence my last name, had pretty much screwed everyone we knew when he pulled one of the biggest Ponzi schemes that’d ever taken place in the United States. He left me with nothing but a run-down camper and campground along with a lot of people who, well, let’s say had a very bad taste in their mouth about me.

  I’m not going to lie. I’d planned on traveling to Kentucky, selling Happy Trails Campground along with the old camper, and getting back to my life in New York. Mary Elizabeth always told me nothing ever turned out as planned. Boy, was she right.

  If you’d told me a year ago that I’d be living in a camper in the middle of the Daniel Boone National Forest in a campground that I owned and would have a dog and date a detective, I’d have laughed in your face.

  Turned out, I was in love with my life in Normal, and I’d embraced my Kentucky roots once again. Again? Yep. I grew up in Kentucky. I loved my life until my family was killed in a home fire and I was placed into foster care.

  Don’t get me wrong. Mary Elizabeth Moberly’s house was fine. It was all the manners and classes she insisted I take in order to be a Kentucky debutante that weren’t so appealing. Now, if my mama had put me in those things, I probably would’ve loved them, but as a teenager, I didn’t want no one but my mama. That included Mary Elizabeth.

  When the clock struck midnight on my eighteenth birthday, I was outta there, and that’s how I got to New York, where I’d become a flight attendant and met Paul West on a flight.

  “Hey.” I swung open the door, putting my foot in front of the opening so Fifi, my poodle, didn’t run out when I let Detective Hank Sharp and Chester, his dog, into the camper. “No, Fifi.”

  Fifi danced around in anticipation of Chester. She loved Hank’s hunting dog, though Hank didn’t hunt. Darnell Grassel used to be Chester’s owner. Darnell had died, and Hank took Chester in even though Darnell had family. Chester really took to Hank, so it was just natural he went to live with him.

  “Do you two want to join me for a nightly walk?” Hank and Chester had come inside. He shut the door behind him and gave me a quick kiss.

  “Of course we do. I’ll go get my shoes.” I headed back to the bedroom to exchange my flip-flops for tennis shoes.

  It was pitch black at night here, without the glow of big-city lights. It was safer to wear shoes that covered your feet because we had plenty of snakes. They might not be poisonous, but nursing a snake bite wasn’t on my to-do list.

  I’d used every bit of space possible. I’d taken down all the walls and made it an open concept plan with the kitchen and family room in one big room. I’d pu
t up shiplap walls painted white. I’d gotten a cute café table with two chairs from the Tough Nickel as well as a small leather couch. It was perfect for one. The floors were redone with a prefabricated grey wood. The kitchen cabinets and all the storage cabinets were white. I’d transformed the little camper into a country farmhouse.

  I’d strung twinkle lights everywhere I could, and I redid the bathroom with a tile shower and upgraded toilet.

  I grabbed my tennis shoes and sat down on my bed. It was actually very comfortable, and I’d made a headboard using some wooden pallets painted pink.

  I’d gotten a dresser with four drawers from the Tough Nickel, located in downtown Normal, that went perfectly with my distressed look. The twinkle lights added a bit of romance, along with the fuzzy rugs and milk glass vases full of fresh flowers or wildflowers that grew here in the Daniel Boone National Park.

  “What is all this?” Hank asked. “All this stuff on your counter?”

  “I’m going on a treasure hunt.” I tied up my laces. “I’m going with Abby, Queenie, and Mary Elizabeth to find John Swift’s silver.”

  I headed back into the family room combination part of the RV.

  “Oh geez.” Hank ran his hand through his hair. “Did you really fall for all the gibberish from them?” He gestured to the outside.

  I knew he was referring to the group of treasure hunters, including Mason, who were staying here for the night until they moved to the more primitive campsite, where we’d be going tomorrow.

  “I think it sounds interesting and fun.” I shrugged.

  I grabbed the bottle of bug spray, which was a must when you lived in a campground or even just in the forest. Especially in the middle of summer, when the heat and humidity brought out all the bugs and creatures that loved to bite.

  Hank had gotten Fifi’s leash on her for me. Chester and Fifi were eagerly dancing in front of the door. They both ran around the campground freely during the day, but night was different. We had a lot of creatures that would eat the pups as a snack, and we didn’t want that to happen.