Holding

by Jillian Quinn

  No one even blinks an eye when I click the lock button, and the lights flash in the darkness. Cars like this are a dime a dozen on this campus, despite how out of place I feel in one. As I walk toward the Delta Sig house, heat creeps up the back of my neck from all the stares aimed in my direction.

  While the car might not stick out, I do in this dress and mask. It’s unlike anything the girls I pass have on, further drawing more attention to the fact that I don’t belong. At one time, I would have fit right in. But the Fitzgerald name no longer carries the same status it did when my dad was alive.

  The looks I get from the people on the front lawn of the house create an uncomfortable silence. Even the man at the door, wearing a golden mask fit for a Roman Emperor, doesn’t bother to ask me for my name before I step through the open door.

  Inside the house, screaming girls dance with each other and grind on their dates. I’d always wondered what a frat party would be like since I had never gone to one. Natasha and Anastasia are sisters at Kappa, the sluttiest sorority on campus. They fit right in, of course.

  I should have known they would never welcome me into their world. When Clarissa had agreed to let me out of my room for the night, I should have known that her daughters would do her dirty work, as per the usual. She’s the type of woman who never raises her voice and always keeps a calm head, all while plotting something vicious. Her smiles are devices used to trick the mind into believing she has a heart or that she’s capable of showing anyone love, other than her two brats.

  The DJ scratches the record, and people yell in protest, before their attention shifts to me, causing my cheeks to burn from the unwanted attention. I hate having people stare at me. I’d rather fade into the background and blend in with everyone else. But I came here with a mission—kiss Shawn Finch.

  Scanning the room, it takes me a minute to find Finch. He’s not hard to miss with his strong arms and shoulders and dirty blond hair that’s always somewhat messy as if styled that way on purpose. I drink in every delicious part of him, working my way up from his muscular thighs to his thick chest, and stop at his handsome face.

  Even with the mask covering his steel blue eyes, I see something flicker in them from across the room. He appraises every part of my body and licks his lips before he settles permanently on my face.

  Does he recognize me? I sure hope not. The reason this party is the perfect opportunity to meet Finch is the rule about names. You can’t ask for one, and you don’t have to provide one. It seemed like the perfect plan when Tori had invited me. Now, I’m kind of glad that her phone kept ringing when I called to meet up because she would have introduced me to Finch as one of her friends.

  I’d rather he not know my name or my link to Tori. It’s better this way. One night of pleasure with the man of my dreams, and then, I can go back to being me. We lock onto each other, ignorant to our surroundings. Getting Finch’s attention is much easier than I’d expected.

  This is fate, I tell myself. This is supposed to happen.

  That’s why my new next-door neighbor appeared at the right time, handed me the perfect dress, and now, I’m staring back at the perfect man.

  I need to get him alone, though I have no idea where to lead him. Shuffling through the crowd, I dart through the sea of people and head toward the back of the house, allowing my instincts to guide me. To the left of the kitchen, I spot a hallway and stop. I look over my shoulder to find Finch pushing his way through the crowd to get to me.

  My feet move fast on the slick tile floor, despite wearing five-inch stilettos. It’s been years since I’ve worn anything other than jeans or the occasional hand me down dress. So, I’m surprised how well I can walk in these heels. Oddly enough, I feel just as confident in them as my usual pair of sneakers.

  Checking over my shoulder every few feet, I see Finch moving through the crowded hall with a purpose. He’s chasing after me just as I had hoped. Everything is falling into place. So, I think when I turn a corner, only to hit a dead end. Where I thought I’d find stairs, there’s a locked door with the kind of lock you need a key to open.

  Yanking on the knob, I give it a few tugs, even though I know I’m stuck and will soon have to face Finch. Before I can spin around, I hear footsteps, followed by someone touching my hip.

  My breath hitches when he dips down to speak against the shell of my ear. “You look lost, princess. What’s a beautiful girl like you doing all by herself?”

  The heat from his breath warms my earlobe. I cannot move, think, or talk. I take in his masculine scent, the sound of his husky voice, and his fingers that dig into my side. He pulls me back and into his chest, the grip he has on me tightening, not forceful but more protective. It’s as if Finch has claimed me.

  “I was looking for the bathroom.” What a liar.

  “I can take you if you want.”

  I close my eyes and allow his voice to command control over my body. The soft moan that escapes my lips serves as my response.

  “I have nothing but time for you.”

  His words sound like a line, but I don’t care. Lines are what I had expected from a guy like Finch. I want the full illusion tonight, even if that’s all it will ever be.

  “How come you’re touching me?” I mutter, afraid to turn around and face him.

  “How come you’re letting me?” He spits back, and I can hear the sarcasm in his voice.

  “Because…” My train of thought of disappears along with my inhibitions when he leans down to plant kisses on my neck.

  He knows I want this. I want him and everything he’s willing to give me in return.

  It’s as if he can sense the need that burns inside me, craving every single touch from him. His hand moves up from my waist, his fingers feeling my ribs, the side of my breast, and eventually land on my jaw. Finch tilts my head back so that our eyes meet, and my lips part for him.

  He traces his thumb along my jaw and then rolls it over my lips. “I know you,” he says, his voice deep and guttural.

  “You don’t,” I croak. “This is the first time we have met.”

  “How do you know? I haven’t told you my name.”

  “You’re not supposed to tell me,” I point out. “That would defeat the point of the party, now wouldn’t it?”

  Finch smirks. “You’ve got me there, Princess.”

  “I’m no princess,” I spit back.

  “You look like one in this dress, and since I don’t know your name, I have to call you something.”

  “You don’t have to call me anything.” This dress must be giving me a set of brass balls because I am never this forward with anyone.

  He rubs his thumb across my lips once more and then returns to holding my face in his big hand. “How about beautiful? That’s what you are.”

  Since he’s staying true to form and going with the flow, I feel brave and so unlike myself that it’s a nice change of pace. Maybe this is the way I would be had it not been for my stepmother and stepsisters making my life a living hell.

  “This is nothing like I had planned,” I confess.

  “No?” His tone indicates a question.

  “It’s so much better.”

  Without another word, a fire lights behind those steel blue eyes, and Finch whirls me around and into his arms. He presses my back against the cold door, and his fingers find their place once more on my hips.

  Holding me with one look, he hesitates before I say, “I came here for a kiss.”

  His eyebrows rise in confusion. “From me or anyone?”

  I nod. “You. I want one from you.”

  “But you don’t know me, remember?”

  Running my hands up his chest, I slip them inside his suit jacket and feel the contours of his muscles over the white oxford. “I know who you are Shawn Finch. So, how about you kiss me already?”

  “That’s not fair,” he says. “You know my name, but I don’t know yours.”

  “You’re not hard to spot, even in a mask.”

&n
bsp; “I guess there’s no point in wearing this thing,” he says, pulling the mask from his face. “It’s scratchy as fuck, anyway.” He shoves it into his pocket before he reaches up to touch mine.

  I clamp my hands down on his wrists to stop him. “Not so fast. I never said anything about removing mine.”

  “You know my name and what I look like, yet I can’t even take off your mask? I’m sure what’s underneath is just as beautiful as what I can see with it on.”

  “Nice try, Finch.” Damn, I’m ballsy tonight. “Let me ask you something, and that will determine my answer.”

  “Okay, shoot.” His hands are still on my mask, and I pray that he doesn’t use his man strength to peel it off.

  “Do you want me?”

  “Yes,” he grunts, “so fucking bad.”

  “Then, I have rules.”

  He nods, telling me to keep going.

  “I don’t want you to know my name. I don’t want you to take off my mask, but, if you happen to get me out of this dress, I guess all bets are off. But you will never know anything about me. Are you okay with that?”

  “More than okay, as long as I get to have you.”

  “Then let go of my mask,” I demand because Finch is not taking this off me without a fight.

  He lowers his hands along with mine and then releases me from his grasp. The electricity that pulses between us is palpable, all too consuming in such a small space. Without warning, he slides his hands up my arms, leaving a trail of tiny dots that prick my skin. The warmth from his skin leeches into mine and spreads like wildfire inside me.

  My body aches for him, every movement he makes going straight to my core. I want him to touch me, hold me, and kiss me in all the right places. This moment is worth every bit of humiliation and hassle it took to get here. I knew Finch was worth the risk. Even though he’s one of the sport's elite on campus, he’s not one of them in the same sense as his teammates or fraternity brothers. He lacks the financial means they have, which makes him more like me than them.

  We share this connection. It’s so intense and real, like two live wires joined together, creating sparks when Finch dips down to kiss me on the lips, invading my mouth with his tongue. At first, he’s tender and soft, with each kiss growing more passionate and determined, as he sets his hand on the back of my head to deepen the kiss.

  So much is happening between my legs with just one kiss. But it’s so much more. From the moment I saw Finch, this kiss was everything I wanted. I say a silent prayer while he devours me with his tongue that he feels what I do for him, and that I’m not just imagining the instant connection we’re forging, as we allow our bodies to do the talking.

  Chapter Four

  Shawn

  What is this masked girl doing to me? The more I kiss her, the more I feel myself falling into her, our bodies and minds fusing together as one. I’ve never had this kind of connection with a girl I just met—or any person, for that matter.

  I wish she would break the party rules and tell me her name. I want to know the name of the girl who has me so entranced by her beauty as if I’m under her spell. With each kiss, I grow harder, tenting my slacks to the point I am in physical pain from the pressure building. She challenged me to get her out of this dress. Only the people who live here know about this part of the house, so that should give us some privacy from the rest of the partygoers.

  But that’s not how I want her. I want to take my time with a girl this beautiful. She also doesn’t seem like the type to have a one-night stand. There’s a certain wholesomeness to this girl, despite her practically begging me to take her right here in this hallway.

  My hand slips beneath the top of her dress, and I get even harder when I discover she’s not wearing a bra, granting me easier access. Massaging her full, perky tit, I peel my lips from hers and stare into her eyes.

  “Beautiful,” I mutter, and she smiles. She is so fucking beautiful and innocent. Pure and so unlike the sorostitutes and football groupies that throw themselves at me on campus.

  I push her dress down further to expose her skin to the cold air, and her nipple grows harder beneath the pad of my thumb. She hisses, biting down on her bottom lip, as I take her nipple in my mouth. Threading her fingers through my hair, she moans my name and tells me how much she wants me in a singsong voice. I bet I want her even more.

  At the rate she’s writhing beneath me, I could make her come just by sucking and biting on her nipple. And I haven’t even gotten to her other breast. I roll my tongue gently over the swollen bud just to tease her, but also so, I can prolong the foreplay between us. I’m still trying to figure out how to get under the layers of her dress without ruining it.

  When it comes to football, I can navigate the field like Columbus without a map, yet I can’t figure out how to get her out of this damn dress. She has me so off my game. The way she moans my name causes me to work faster. But how can I focus? Every groan of pleasure from her lips sends me over the edge.

  Cupping both of her breasts, I shove my face between them and take my time with each one. We haven’t broken eye contact once. But I want to give the rest of her some extra attention. I work my way up her chest and to her neck, settling on her mouth.

  She purrs my name, and with her lips already parted for me, I slip my tongue inside her mouth, dividing and conquering her body, as my hands wander her delicate skin. She’s so soft, her skin as smooth as satin against my calloused palms.

  We get lost in one another, so fucking lost that when the door opens, and she almost falls backward as my roommates come inside, it takes every ounce of strength I have not to lose my hold on her. She screams so loud it pierces my eardrum, and probably my brothers. Her hand flies up to her breasts, but I already have her covered and flat against my chest. I doubt anyone saw her tits with how fast everything happened.

  Still, even with the mask covering most of her face, I can tell she’s mortified. She sinks her face into my chest, and I cradle her, allowing my brothers to pass through. One of them points at their face to tell me I forgot my mask. Another gives me thumbs up and nods at the mystery girl in my arms. She’s a score all right. Good thing I got to her first.

  After they pass, she wiggles free from my grasp and pulls her dress up and back into place. Her mask had slid to the side while we were kissing, but I still can’t see enough of her face. I doubt I will ever forget those eyes that are such a deep blue they seem as though they pop out from the mask and illuminate her face. And those full, luscious lips that part just for me.

  “This was perfect,” she says in a hushed tone. “Everything I had imagined it would be.” She stands up on her tippy toes and kisses me on the cheek. “Thank you.”

  It doesn’t even occur to me that she’s bailing on me until she turns on her heel and pushes open the door. She gives me a quick wave that I return, confused. Then, she slips through the opening and disappears into the darkness. Stunned, I stand there like an idiot and touch the spot on my cheek where she had left her last kiss. It’s not until thirty seconds after she’s gone that I realize I need to go after her. I cannot let her leave without knowing her name or getting her phone number.

  Throwing my shoulder into the door, it pushes open. The winter air smacks me in the face, burning my cheeks.

  Damn, it’s cold out here.

  Rubbing my hands together to create some warmth, I search the alleyway for my mystery girl. Drunken idiots are screaming and dancing outside as if they had taken the party out here. Some people have their cars parked, the windows steamed up from them making out inside. So much is happening, yet I cannot find the blue dress or the beautiful woman wearing it. Unsure of which way to go, I make a right and hope she parked on Greek Row.

  But I have no idea how she got here. For all I know she lives around the corner in one of the dormitories. I know nothing about her. The least I could have done was ask her age or if she goes to the Strickland University. At least something more definitive to narrow down my chances of find
ing her.

  Realizing this is a fool’s errand, I stop a few people walking by. “Hey, did you guys see a girl in a light blue dress? She had blonde hair and was wearing a mask with a feather sticking up on the one side.”

  Two of the boys ignore me, but the girl steps forward and takes a drag from her cigarette, blowing the smoke out through her nose. “I saw her, I think.” She seems a bit confused, maybe even a little high. “She went that way.” The girl points in front of me and to the end of Greek Row. This conversation was pointless, further wasting my time and my chances of finding my mystery girl.

  Once I reach Greek Row, I’m even more at a loss for where to go. The street is a long Philly block that spans down to Broad Street, right at the corner of the south side of campus. If I go one way, I’ll end up in the heart of one of the worst neighborhoods in the city. But, if I walk toward Broad Street, I could end up wandering the streets alone for hours. I consider driving until I realize I’ve had too much to drink.

  She’d drive away from the house not toward it, so I set off toward the center of the campus, dodging drunken idiots as I pass. I don’t even waste time by asking anyone if they’ve seen her, quickening my pace as my feet hit the cement, and I take off running. I keep going until I hit Broad Street and stop to catch my breath. Bending over with my palms on my thighs, I suck in some air and take another look at my surroundings.

  Car horns blare in the distance. The scent of exhaust fumes from the cars at the stoplight fills my nostrils. Even at this hour, there are so many people on the streets that I have trouble concentrating on anything in particular.

  She’s gone. Just like my mask for the party and the meal plan Coach wanted me to follow, I lost the girl. I have to get her back. With enough digging, I’m sure I can find out who she is no problem. But what do I ask? Do you know a girl with blonde hair and nice tits? People would think I was crazy.