Cowboy Defender (Cowboys 0f Holiday Ranch Book 9)

by Carla Cassidy

  His words ripped through her, and at that moment she realized she was angry with him. Where had his love been when she bared her soul to him earlier in the day? The look of horror on his face when she’d professed her love for him was burned into her brain. “I really think what we need right now is a little distance from each other.”

  “A little distance?” He parked in front of the police station, shut off the truck engine and turned to look at her.

  “I think it’s best if, when we get home, you pack your bags and get back to your life at the ranch. I really want to get back to my own routine.”

  He stared at her and in the depths of his gaze she saw pain. “I don’t understand. You told me you loved me this morning, and now I’m telling you I’m completely and totally in love with you.”

  “Clay, I really don’t want to get into this now. I’ve had a really long, traumatic day. This is the last thing I need right now.” She didn’t wait for his answer but got out of the passenger door and headed for the police station.

  She didn’t believe in the love he had just declared to her. He hadn’t shown or said anything about loving her that morning and the only thing that had changed since then was that she’d been kidnapped and cut up. She was sure what he felt about her now was pity and a relief that he’d helped save her life.

  Dillon was waiting for them in his office and the two of them sat in the chairs facing his desk. “I need to know exactly what happened. Why did you get in the car with her?”

  She explained about Lori using Henry getting hurt as a ruse. “If I’d really thought about it, I might not have gone with her. The school has always called me if one of the kids are sick or whatever. But Lori was so convincing, and I panicked, and all I could think about was getting to Henry as soon as possible.”

  Dillon took notes as he continued to question her. She told him about the syringe and how whatever had been in it had knocked her out cold. As she remembered waking up and knowing she was in trouble, she began to tremble.

  Despite what she’d said to Clay in the truck, he reached out and took her cold, shaking hand in his big warm one. Her heart squeezed tight at his show of support.

  She also told Dillon about Lori attempting to set up an alibi by shopping in Clutter Creek. “She was so cunning...and so crazy with hatred.”

  She reached up and touched her bandages. “She was very matter-of-fact when she told me she was going to work on the cabinets and torture me throughout the day and then she was going to kill me at dusk.”

  “You don’t ever have to worry about her again, Miranda. She’ll be charged with enough crimes that she will never see the light of day again,” Dillon assured her.

  “Are we about done here?” Clay asked. “I know Miranda is eager to get home and I’ve got some things to do there before I can call it a night.”

  There was such sadness in his voice and Miranda knew she’d put the sadness inside him. But she was so scared that his love for her wasn’t real. She’d rather they parted ways now than continue on to the point that he would eventually realize it wasn’t really love he felt for her, and then he would leave her and it would only rip her apart even more.

  His confession of love had come too late for the party and now she had to stay strong, do the right thing and let him go.

  “Before you two leave, the witness who saw Miranda get into Lori’s car wants to talk to you. She’s waiting in the conference room,” Dillon said.

  Clay exchanged a curious look with her. Why did she want to speak to them now? Clay had told her the witness wanted to remain anonymous.

  Certainly Miranda wanted to thank her for coming forward. Without her, the odds were good Miranda would be dead right now. “I’d love to get the chance to thank her,” she said.

  “Me, too,” Clay agreed. “She saved the woman I’m in love with.” He looked longingly at Miranda.

  She looked away. “Let’s go see who this woman is.” She stood, as did Clay, and together they followed Dillon down the hallway. He gestured for them to enter the conference room where a dark-haired stranger sat at the table.

  She rose as they entered and a tentative smile curved her lips. She was beautiful, with a heart-shaped face and piercing blue eyes.

  “Hi, I’m Rachel Jones.” She held out her hand to Clay. He shook it, but she didn’t release her hold on him. “I used to be Violet Madison.”

  Clay yanked his hand away from her as if he’d been electrified and Miranda drew in a deep breath of stunned surprise as she realized she was looking at Clay’s mother.

  * * *

  Clay stared at the woman who had walked out of his life when he had been eight years old. Myriad emotions battled inside his head, inside his heart. Part of him wanted to storm out and not give her the time of day, but another part of him desperately needed some answers from her.

  He jammed his hands into his pockets and stared at her. Despite the passing of time and the fact that her hair was dark instead of blond, his heart remembered her features, her beautiful blue eyes and the loving curve of her lips. He could smell the familiar scent of violets that wafted from her, a scent that pulled forth happy memories of when she’d been in his life.

  “What are you doing here?” he finally asked.

  “Can we all sit down and talk?” she asked.

  “Maybe I should just wait outside,” Miranda said.

  “No,” he protested. “Please...” He pleaded with his eyes. “Please stay.” He didn’t think he could get through the emotional scene ahead without her. Surely she could give him that much.

  She nodded and sat at one of the chairs at the table. He sat next to her and his mother sat across from them. He was angry enough at her that he didn’t even want to look at her, and yet some part of him hungered to stare at her familiar features and remember how she’d once made him feel so loved.

  “I’ve been in town several weeks now,” she began. “I... I’ve been following you. I followed you this morning when you took Miranda to the school and that’s how I saw her get into Lori’s car.”

  “Why have you been following me?” he asked.

  “I had been trying to get up the nerve to talk to you. Clay, I understand if you don’t want to hear anything I have to say, but there are some things I’d like you to know.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “And what if I don’t want to hear them?”

  “Then I’ll go away and never bother you again.” Her eyes dimmed a bit with her words.

  “I’m here and I’m listening,” he said grudgingly.

  “I... I don’t even know where to begin,” she said.

  “How about you begin when you just disappeared from my life?” His heart squeezed tight and pain soared through him. He unfolded his arms and placed them on the armrests. He was surprised and comforted when Miranda grabbed his hand and held on tight.

  “That night I tucked you into bed as usual and then your father nearly beat the life out of me. He told me if I tried to leave him he would kill me...and I believed him. I also believed that if I stayed with him, he’d end up killing me anyway. That night I told him I had to get some clothes from the line, and when I stepped outside, I just kept walking. Without thinking, without any plan, I left.” The words were spoken quickly, as if she’d been thinking of this moment for a very long time.

  “And so you just decided to leave me with that abusive man,” Clay accused.

  Violet’s cheeks flushed with color. “In all the time I was with your father I never saw him lay a finger on you. It never entered my mind that he would ever be abusive to you.”

  “Yeah, well, when you left things changed.”

  Tears appeared in her eyes. “When I left that night my plan was to come back for you.”

  “So, what happened?” he asked, and Miranda leaned closer to him. “Please... I need to know why you left me there.”
Tears were thick in his throat and he swallowed hard against them.

  She told him about hitching a ride to Oklahoma City where she found a shelter to stay in at night. During the day she lived on the streets. She had been there only a few days when she developed pneumonia and wound up in the hospital for two weeks. During that stay she was also diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety disorders.

  “I was in no shape to come and get you, either physically, mentally or materially. I had no place to live and wouldn’t have even been able to provide you a meal. And I was absolutely terrified that your father would find me and carry out all this threats.” For just a moment she looked haunted.

  Clay wanted to hate her. He wanted to resent her. He told himself to get up and walk out of the room, but instead he remained seated and felt her pain and grief wafting through him.

  “I wound up at a battered women’s shelter where I finally started to rebuild my life,” she continued. She reached a hand up and touched her head. “I dyed my hair in an effort to stay hidden from your father and I worked at a hamburger joint. Once I’d earned enough money, I bought a car and got a tiny, crappy apartment on the wrong side of town.”

  She gazed at him with such love it half-stole his breath and stroked the wounds that lay deep in his heart, deep in his very soul.

  “I was slowly rebuilding my life, but I missed you so badly. I finally got up the nerve to go see you. I showed up at one of your baseball games. I cheered every time you hit a ball or made a catch.”

  “Why didn’t you let me know you were there?” he asked. Once again Miranda squeezed his hand tightly, silently giving him support.

  “I couldn’t, not with your father right there. Besides, you looked so happy when I watched you. What right did I have to walk back into your life? I had nothing to offer you. There were days the only meal I ate was the free one I got at the burger place where I worked. You looked happy and well-adjusted, and so I decided to leave you be. But the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life was drive away from your ballgames and know it would be another week before I dared see you again.”

  “The ball field was the only place I was happy because it was the only way I got to escape for a little while from the abuse I suffered.”

  She began to weep, and a touch of forgiveness edged into his heart. They had both been victims of a brutal man.

  “When you ran away, I... I didn’t know how to f...find you,” she said through her tears. “Y...you were just gone.”

  “How did you find me here?” he asked.

  She swiped at her cheeks and straightened in her chair. “Social media. Several weeks ago you and your friends made a large contribution to help horses and it came up in my feed. There was a picture of all of you with your names. But I didn’t need your name. The minute I looked at your photo I knew you were my beautiful baby boy and so I came here.”

  “And now that you’re here, what do you want?”

  She searched his features, as he did hers. “I’d like a place in your life. That’s why I wanted Miranda here for all this...because it’s obvious the two of you love each other, and if you allow me into your life then I’ll also be entering Miranda’s.”

  A new pain ripped through him. He knew how he felt about Miranda, but he wasn’t so sure how she felt about him now. The short conversation they’d shared before coming in here had taken him completely by surprise.

  “I know it will take time,” his mother said. “I’m willing to take whatever you’re willing to give me. I want to be in your life. I need my little lightning bug back in my life and I hope that some healing will begin.”

  Once again Clay searched her features. She still had the beautiful blue eyes he remembered although they now held a wealth of pain. Hadn’t they both already hurt enough?

  “The healing has already begun,” he finally said. It was true. Forgiveness felt so much better than bitter anger. There was still a hurt little boy inside him, but time would hopefully help heal him.

  “I want you in my life,” he said and joy leaped into her features. “Right now as we sit here, I’m not sure what that will look like, but we’ll figure it out. But, right now I need to get Miranda home. She’s been through a traumatic day and I know she wants to get home to her children.”

  “Of course.” Violet got up from the table. “Can I call you tomorrow?”

  She and Clay exchanged phone numbers and then she was gone. He stood and pulled Miranda to her feet. “Sorry about all this,” he said.

  “Don’t be sorry. It was a wonderful thing,” she replied. “I don’t know about you, but I believed every word she said. She always loved you, Clay, and it’s obvious she still does.”

  “I believe that, too,” he replied. He had lost so many years with her, but hoped they could build a new relationship as adults.

  Although he still found it hard to believe that the reunion had happened. How lucky were they that his mother had reentered his life in time to be part of saving Miranda’s life? Fate, or whatever, had been on their sides.

  They walked out of the police station and got into his truck, and his thoughts turned to the woman next to him. There was no way he was going to let her out of his life without a fight. He wasn’t about to lose the one woman who had captured his heart completely.

  The ride back to her house was a silent one. He knew she was exhausted, but there was one last thing that needed to be addressed before she got the children home and she went to bed.

  He waited until they walked into her house and then he placed his hands on her shoulders. “If you think I’m going to just pack my bags and leave, then you’re sadly mistaken. I love you, Miranda, and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you.”

  “I have never loved you more than when I saw you find forgiveness in your heart for your mother,” she replied, her eyes simmering with emotion. “But Clay, are you sure you’re not just saying you love me because you pity me?”

  He looked at her in shocked surprise. “Why would I pity you?”

  Her gaze was troubled as she raised a hand to the bandage on her cheek. “I might be left with a scar.”

  “I don’t give a damn about a scar,” he scoffed. He ran his thumb down the side of her face that wasn’t bandaged. “If Lori would have poked out your eyes, then I would have been your sight. If she cut off your ears, then I would have been your hearing. I fell in love with you, Miranda, not your face. Although I still find looking at your face more than a little bit pleasant.”

  “But when I told you I was in love with you this morning, you looked horrified by the very idea. Then after you rescued me this afternoon, you professed to love me.”

  “I don’t profess anything. You shocked me this morning and it took me several minutes to process that you were on the same page I was. I went back to the school to tell you I loved you, but you weren’t there.”

  He pulled her close against him and wrapped his arms around her, tears burning his eyes as he thought of the moment he’d realized she was gone. “I’ve never been so scared. I was crazed with fear until I walked into that kitchen and saw that you were alive. We belong together, Miranda. Don’t you feel that in your heart? In your soul?”

  She stepped back from his embrace and his heart crashed to the ground. Was she still going to send him away?

  “Does this mean I get to be the boss all the time?” she asked with an impish smile.

  “Oh, no,” he laughed as his heart soared. “It’s fifty-fifty all the way now.” He drew her back into his arms. “Do you remember once I told you I always keep my promises?” She nodded and he continued, “I promise right now to love and honor you for the rest of my life.”

  “And I promise to do the same,” she replied.

  “Then I think this moment calls for a kiss.” He lowered his lips to hers in a kiss that silently confirmed his promise and she kissed him back with a passion that s
tole his breath away.

  Oh, yes, this was the woman he’d waited for, a woman who would challenge and tempt him, a woman who was his forever kind of gal.

  Epilogue

  It had been two weeks since Miranda had been tied up and tortured by Lori. The stitches had been removed from Miranda’s face and the wounds were healing nicely.

  She now stood at her living room window and watched Clay playing catch with Henry and Jenny. Her heart swelled with happiness...a happiness that greeted her each morning when she awakened in Clay’s arms.

  He’d gone back to work at the ranch during the days but returned to the house after his work there was done. The kids were delirious with Clay’s presence in the home. He filled it with his deep, infectious laughter, and at night he thrilled her with his kisses and lovemaking and plans for their future together.

  She straightened as she saw Hank’s familiar pickup. He parked at the curb and got out of the truck. They had seen very little of him in the last two weeks. He hadn’t even taken the children for his weekends with them.

  He greeted Clay and the two men shook hands, then Clay gestured toward the house and Hank walked up to the door.

  She opened the front door and ushered him inside. “You’re looking a lot better than the last time I saw you,” he said.

  On the other hand, Hank looked like hell. His eyes were swollen and red-rimmed, and his features had grown gaunt since the last time she’d seen him.

  “Do you mind if I sit and talk to you for a few minutes?” he asked.

  “Of course I don’t mind.” She led him into the living room where he sat on the edge of a chair and she sank down onto the sofa.

  “I swear I didn’t know,” he began. “Miranda, you have to believe me, I had no idea what Lori was up to.” Tears began to ooze from his eyes. “I would have stopped her. If I’d only known about her plans, I would have tied her to a kitchen chair and turned her in to Dillon.”

  “Hank, I believe you,” she replied softly. “Is that why you haven’t come around lately? Why you haven’t taken the kids on the weekends? Because you were afraid I’d think you guilty of something?”