Primal

by Lora Leigh; Ava Gray; Jory Strong; Michelle Rowen

  I frowned. “Declan—”

  “It’s true, Jill. And I know it. Talking to him earlier—what you overheard. He knows me. He knows that you and I can’t …” His jaw tensed. “Not anymore.”

  Declan and I had sex once when he’d briefly gone off his emotion-and-desire-repressing serum for the first time in his adult life. He’d never been with anyone before me, but he’d been a very quick learner.

  I pressed my hands against the hard planes of his chest and looked up at him. “I am willing to give it a shot. You never know what might happen with a little experimentation.”

  He searched my face. “You’re looking for a miracle.”

  I nodded. “Every damn day, actually.”

  “This isn’t one of them. This serum’s permanent.”

  “I don’t believe anything’s ever completely permanent.”

  I went up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his. He didn’t push me away, but he didn’t kiss me back, either. I could taste him, I could feel him, I could touch him. But I couldn’t be with him—not really. It was so frustrating. Sometimes it was difficult not to remember how good it had been between us. It hurt to think it might never happen again.

  For such a tough-looking man, one you might not want to run into in a dark alley, one who looked like he could kill someone with his bare hands—and Declan could—I literally ached for him. But it was an ache that would have to go untended. Like he said, he was like a robot right now—virtually emotionless and without the distraction of lust or desire. Too bad. They were very worthy distractions.

  His gray eye held an edge of regret when I pulled back from him. “I’m sorry, Jill.”

  “Don’t be sorry.”

  “It’s good that we’re here. I knew Jackson could find somebody to help us. Then you can go back to your normal life and forget all about this.” He pushed open the warehouse door and walked through to join Jackson on the other side.

  His message was clear. I could forget about him.

  Because Declan Reyes, dhampyr vampire hunter, one with scars deeper than just physical, a man I couldn’t make love to no matter how much I wanted to, thought he had no place in my regular human life.

  The ache I already felt for him spread to my heart because I knew he was right.

  TWO

  “No guards?” I asked skeptically after entering the cavernous interior of the warehouse.

  “Downstairs,” Jackson replied. “There are security cameras everywhere. Very few people know this place exists, and everyone who works here is screened and background-checked. The elevator only works for those who know the code.” He grinned. “Feel better?”

  I scanned the seemingly empty space. “Not really.”

  “Just chill. It’s fine. This place has been around for years. Follow me.”

  Jackson led us to an elevator that, after he punched in a code that he shared with Declan so he’d know what it was, took us deep below ground.

  Dr. Reynolds was waiting for us at the end of a long hallway in a large white room. He was fiftyish, with fine features and dark hair that was salt-and-pepper at the temples. Wire-framed glasses perched on his nose. With the white coat over his clothes and a stethoscope hanging around his neck, he looked like a family doctor who’d graduated top of his class. This helped ease my mind a little.

  He’d given me a brief medical examination—eyes, mouth, ears all got a check. Heart rate. Blood pressure. He scribbled his findings down on a clipboard before he finally looked up at me. “I can help you, Jill.”

  My heart leapt. It was exactly what I’d been waiting to hear. I wanted to pinch myself to prove this wasn’t just a dream.

  “How can you help her?” Declan asked. He didn’t sound as relieved as I felt. Instead, he sounded wary, suspicious, and not the least bit friendly.

  His query earned him a sharp look. “I believe I asked you to leave the room before I started my examination.”

  “I’m not leaving Jill’s side.” Declan stood just out of reach, his arms crossed over his chest. I saw a glint of the silver stake he kept in a sheath on his belt under the edge of his black jacket. He didn’t look directly at me, despite his fierce and protective claim.

  Jackson had left when he’d been asked to. Declan, however, had flatly refused, not budging a step when Dr. Reynolds made the original request. It was fine with me. More than fine. His presence helped to give me extra strength to face whatever the doctor had to say to me.

  Dr. Reynolds’s jaw tightened as he glared at the stubborn vampire hunter. “Declan Reyes. Your reputation precedes you.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “You’re a dhampyr.” It was said through clenched teeth.

  Declan didn’t reply to that, which was confirmation enough.

  “Declan’s with me,” I said, not liking the tension that had been steadily rising in the room. “Whatever you have to say to me, I’m fine with him hearing it, too.”

  “Maybe I’m not fine with that.”

  “Let me guess,” Declan said. “You have a problem with dhampyrs.”

  “Is it that obvious?”

  “Yeah.”

  The doctor’s narrowed eyes flicked to me. “You know dhampyrs are extremely dangerous to humans, don’t you? Perhaps even more so than vampires.”

  I’d heard this song and dance before. I held the gaze of the doctor, whose face had flushed with anger. “Declan’s different.”

  “Have you seen the other kind of dhampyr?” he asked sharply.

  “Yes.” A chill went down my spine. There were two types of dhampyrs, and Declan was the more human type. The other kind were referred to as monster dhampyrs because of their more monstrous appearance and appetites. They were as mindless as they were ravenous, like large, pale, humanoid piranha—sharp teeth, soulless black eyes, and an overwhelming need to feed.

  The stuff of nightmares, actually. I had the sleepless nights to prove it.

  I watched Dr. Reynolds, whose attention was now focused on Declan. There was something there that made me uncomfortable—a willingness to believe the worst. This is what Declan had been putting up with all of his life—people jumping to conclusions about what he was, based on half of his DNA.

  I’d come face-to-face with several hungry vampires since I was first injected with Nightshade. I easily remembered what it felt like to be bit by one of them—the sharp pain as those razor-sharp teeth cut into my flesh. Just because every one of them who had tasted my blood had died a quick and fiery death didn’t make the thought of getting attacked any more pleasant.

  “Declan’s with me,” I said. “And I trust him completely. If you have a problem with that, then we’re going to have to leave.”

  After a few more moments, Dr. Reynolds’s unfriendly and tense expression faded and his brow furrowed. “I apologize for my unprofessional behavior.” He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes, then cleaned the glasses on his sleeve before putting them back on. “My wife, she—she was killed by a dhampyr. It’s colored my objectivity.”

  Immediate empathy surged through me at the thought of anyone facing death at the hands of one of those nightmarish monsters. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry.”

  “So am I.” His jaw tensed and his expression shadowed. “This is neither here nor there. I need to take some samples of your blood now so I can study it.”

  I rolled up my sleeve without argument, happy for the change of subject, and he set to work. He drew in a sharp breath when he first saw the color of my blood. It wasn’t red. It was more of a dark, very dark, crimson.

  “It’s incredible,” he mused aloud.

  Seeing it only made it that much more real. I flicked a glance at Declan before returning my attention to the doctor. “What? Incredible that I’m still standing. Still breathing?”

  A slight smile played at his lips. “I’d be lying if I said no. Yes, it’s incredible that your body has withstood the poison for so long, especially with visible transformations like this. It’s infused your
entire being. If it was developed by regular chemistry, there’s little doubt that you wouldn’t have survived this long. However, parachemistry is different.”

  “So you can help her,” Declan said. “For real?”

  Declan’s voice was enough to put a crack in Dr. Reynolds’s pleasant expression. He really didn’t like the dhampyr and wasn’t making much of an effort to hide it. “Yes. I’ll use these samples to create a new serum that will release the Nightshade from your cellular makeup.”

  “Sounds … encouraging?” I said, gripping the edges of the examination table. My heart pounded so hard and fast it was difficult to appear calm.

  His expression darkened. “Once we separate the formula from your blood, I think we can cleanse the blood through intensive hemodialysis. Dialysis isn’t normally a painful process, but I should warn you that the separation process likely will be … difficult for you.”

  The thought of more pain made me cringe. I’d experienced so much pain since first being injected that it had redefined agony for me. This wasn’t something I’d choose if I had any other option. There weren’t any other options.

  I hadn’t been expecting a magic, sugarcoated pill to cure me. It would have been nice, but this wasn’t a fairy tale.

  I nodded firmly. “Let’s do it.”

  “You’ll stay here during your treatment—the floor above us is where my patients stay. It will be quite comfortable for you.”

  I assumed that the vampire guinea pigs didn’t get the same first-class treatment. “What do you want in return? I don’t suppose this is covered by health insurance.”

  He placed his clipboard under his arm and moved to the other side of the examining table, giving Declan a wide berth. “If there’s any way I can rediscover the formula, if I can extract it from your blood and re-create it—it’ll be an invaluable weapon. Even though you’ll no longer be a part of it, there’s no reason why the Nightshade program needs to be discarded completely.”

  He was helping me so he could try to re-create Nightshade. Sounded reasonable to me.

  I nodded again. “When do we start?”

  “The moment I have the information I need from these samples. I’ll be in touch as soon as I can.”

  I felt lightheaded from the blood donation as Declan and I left the examining room and rode the elevator back up to the warehouse level. Declan kept his hand at the small of my back in case I lost my balance.

  We got off the elevator and walked through the empty warehouse until we emerged into the sunlight again.

  He eyed me cautiously. “You okay?”

  “I’ll be fine.” I pressed my hand to my forehead. “Must be all the blood he took. I’m feeling a bit drained.”

  “I’ll go get the car,” Declan said. “Wait here.”

  I nodded and leaned against the wall, just outside of the front door, and watched him disappear around the edge of the building. I eyed the camera that was trained on the front door. For something that was there for security reasons, it made me nervous.

  “Did it go well?” Jackson asked. I started a little, since I hadn’t seen him standing to the other side of me.

  “I think so.” I rubbed my fingertips over the Band-Aid at the crook of my arm. “Listen, thanks for pointing us in the right direction.”

  Jackson smiled. He was actually quite attractive in a biker-dude kind of way, and the expression helped soften up the rougher edges. “I’m usually a hard-ass when it comes to shit like this, but I’m really sorry for what you’ve been through.”

  That surprised me. “You don’t strike me as the type who’s sorry for much.”

  “I’m not.”

  I blew out a long breath and pressed back against the wall. The air was dry, hot, and smelled like dust and exhaust fumes. The meeting with Dr. Reynolds had tired me out. Hope was an exhausting emotion to entertain. “You’ve known Declan for ten years, have you?”

  “Around that.” He shook his head. “Seems strange seeing him with a woman like you.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “A woman like me?”

  He shrugged a shoulder. “I can tell a lot just from meeting a person once. You’re somebody who needs a man in her life who’s able to show her a good time.”

  “Am I?”

  “And I saw how you looked at him before.”

  “How’s that?”

  “Like he’s on the menu.”

  I couldn’t help but snort at that. This guy thought he knew it all. I wasn’t a big fan of cocky. “Is that right?”

  “Declan, he’s … a good hunter. Loyal to a fault. I know you met the man who raised him.”

  “I did.”

  “Then you know Declan will stay with someone even when it’s obvious to everyone else it’s a bad idea.”

  I bristled at that. “That’s how you think it is with him and me?”

  “There’s nothing there, Jill. Just a shell. He’s a machine. A soldier. He kills rogue vampires. It’s what he’s done, 24/7, for as long as I’ve known him. He isn’t somebody who’s going to make a good boyfriend.”

  This conversation was beginning to make me uncomfortable, but if it was a means to get more information about Declan, I could tolerate Jackson for a while longer. “I’m not looking for a boyfriend right now. I’m a bit preoccupied with trying to stay alive with blood nearly the color of tar.”

  “Maybe so.” Jackson drew close enough to me that I could smell his spicy aftershave. His gaze swept the length of me. “But you’re a woman of passion. You have needs he’s not able to fill.” He reached forward and twisted a piece of my long black hair around his index finger before leaning closer to me. “I can fill them, Jill. If you want me to.”

  “Oh yeah?” It was warm outside—easily over ninety degrees—and Jackson’s body heat only made it warmer. A trickle of perspiration slid down my spine. He was hitting on me. That didn’t seem like something someone should do to a buddy’s female companion, even in an unusual relationship like mine and Declan’s.

  “I can take you to places you’ve never been before. I’m not asking for a relationship here, just a bit of fun. A way to let off some steam.”

  A bit of fun—something I hadn’t had in a very long time. Too bad it was Jackson doing the offering. “What about Declan?”

  He shook his head. “Declan’s like a eunuch. He can’t satisfy you like I can, even if he wanted to. It won’t be long before you start looking elsewhere. Despite all you’ve been through, I see that fire inside of you. And I know how to quench it.”

  “You want to fuck me.” I stated it bluntly to make sure I understood him correctly—not that he was being subtle about it.

  “Very much. And what do you want?” He leaned closer so I could feel the line of his body, which included a very stiff erection that he wasn’t shy about pressing against me.

  “What do I want?” I put my hand on his chest and slid it down between us, over his rather impressive denim-clad hard-on. Then I grabbed it and twisted. “I want you to fuck off.”

  Pain registered on his face, but he let out a low, throaty laugh. “I guess I have my answer.”

  I let go of him, feeling that my point had been made rather succinctly. “No offense intended, of course.”

  “Of course not.” His eyes flicked behind me as he cupped his hand over his assaulted groin and stepped away from me. “Declan. You’re back.”

  I glanced to my left. Declan’s emotionless gaze was narrow, and I wondered if he’d seen what just happened.

  “Let’s go,” was all he said.

  Very soon I’d start the painful process of cleaning my blood. Soon I’d be back to my normal life—the life that didn’t include amorous—or rather, lecherous—vampire hunters who left me cold, or dhampyrs who made my blood hot and my body yearn for more than they were able to give me.

  I’d never been a big fan of disappointment.

  THREE

  I had a shower back at the motel room to cool off. Declan went out to get us food. When I em
erged with wet hair, after pulling on some clean leggings and a tank top, he was already back.

  He held up the brown paper bag. “Burgers. And fries.”

  “Running for my life is fattening.” I didn’t really mean it. Since I’d been poisoned, I’d lost weight. I could actually count my ribs now, which was a bit disturbing, since I wasn’t eating any less than I normally did. I figured the Nightshade revved up my metabolism. It was another side effect to add to the list.

  I leaned my hip against the table and ran my fingers through my damp hair to get the tangles out. Declan sat at the small table and looked down at his hands. He seemed preoccupied about something.

  “What’s the problem?” I asked.

  He looked at me. “Why do you think there’s a problem?”

  “You’re quieter than normal. Not that you’re usually a chatterbox, but—”

  “I heard you talking with Jackson.”

  “What part?”

  “All of it.” He raised his gray gaze to mine, stroking his fingers over his eye patch to adjust it back into its proper place.

  “He came on to me.”

  “I know.”

  “And I told him to fuck off.”

  His lips curved. “I know.”

  I felt concerned, since he still looked troubled. “What’s really wrong, Declan?”

  He shook his head. “If he’d forced himself on you any further, I would have ripped his head off. As it is, he took a simple fuck off as an answer. He’s very popular with women. Your rejection must have come as a shock considering his track record.”

  “Do you think I was tempted?”

  He blinked. “Were you?”

  “No. Were you jealous?”

  He gripped the edge of the table, his knuckles whitening. “I don’t know. With the serum, all—all I feel is this emptiness inside of me. Where there should be emotion, there’s … nothing, just an empty black hole. I know that’s where all the shit I should be feeling belongs. I never felt it before—never noticed it, anyway—but I do now.”

  “Emptiness.”

  “Yeah.”

  I bit my bottom lip as my throat began to tighten. “I know how you feel. I have that, too.”