A Real Cowboy Rides a Motorcycle

by Stephanie Rowe

  “I just got in my car and drove over seven thousand miles.”

  He glanced over at her then, but she wasn’t looking at him. She was staring across the parched plains, hugging her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them. She looked vulnerable and small, and he wanted to drag her into his arms and protect her. Why did he have the hero complex with her? He wasn’t meant for that role.

  She continued, apparently ignoring his turmoil. “I was trying to find a place to settle down. I drove through so many small towns, looking for the place that called to me, but, as you might expect, there were children and men everywhere I went.”

  A small laugh escaped him. “Bastards.”

  She managed a half-smile, but she didn’t pick her chin up from her knees. “I finally realized that any kind of home would make the loss too great. So, I got a job that required me to travel almost all the time, and that was it. I basically gave up a home and connections. Mira is the only friend I still have who’s not a part of my work, and my work friends are just colleagues.”

  He frowned, listening carefully now. “So, you’re like me, only you use a plane and I use a bike.”

  “Yep. That’s why I knew what you were doing today.” She finally looked over at him. “Here’s the thing, Zane. You might think you’re not worthy or you don’t belong, but you’re wrong. The reason Luke and those boys look up to you is because they know you respect them and would do anything to help them.” She smiled when he started to feel mutinous again. “Your brothers want you home, too. You have so many people who care—”

  “I didn’t ask them to care.”

  “I know, but they do.” She turned to face him. “They all know the real you, and your background, and they see value in you anyway. Believe them when they say you’re worthy.”

  He ground his jaw. “I know I’m a decent guy. I just don’t want to owe anyone anything. When people count on you, you’re going to fail them.”

  “Like how your mom failed you?”

  He shrugged. “My mom sucked. She’s not worth talking about.” His dad was a bastard too. A perfect team. At least his mom had moved out of the Stockton house before his dad had started beating him, unlike his brothers.

  “Maybe you’re more worried about people failing you, than you are about failing them.”

  Okay, that was enough. He wasn’t interested in this kind of discussion. He stood up to vault off the rock. “Let’s get going—”

  “I’m scared that people are going to fail me,” she said softly, not moving. She was staring out across the plains again. “I didn’t realize it until I met you. You made me see that I was living in a cocoon. When I got here, and I was shut out by Mira, I wanted to leave. Yesterday morning, I wanted to leave, too. When everyone was sitting around the table, I felt like I didn’t belong.”

  He got that sentiment. He wanted to leave right now. But he was rooted to the spot, unable to drag himself away from her. He needed to hear what she was saying.

  She looked up at him, her eyes shimmering with emotion. “In the last few days, you’ve made me laugh. You’ve made me feel joy, sadness, love, and connection. You’ve given me the best love making of my life. You brought me to life. I didn’t want it. I wanted to stay in my shell, but today with you has been the best day of my life, I’m pretty sure.”

  He stared at her, barely able to process her words. He’d been an ass. He’d scared her. He’d come clean about what a mess he was. She’d seen the real him on every level, and that had been a good day for her? “I don’t understand.” He knew he sounded like an idiot, but he was absolutely confused about how she could say those things after how he had been.

  She smiled, a tender smile full of such warmth that he slid to his knees before her, unable to keep the distance between them anymore. She touched his cheek, a gentle caress that made him want to close his eyes and lean into it. But he didn’t. He just waited, not even sure what he was waiting for. He just knew that she had something he needed, something he was desperately craving, even though he had no idea what it was.

  Taylor laced her fingers behind his neck, resting her wrists on his shoulders. “Just you,” she said softly. “You’re enough, just the way you are. If you were different, you wouldn’t be what I needed so badly.”

  He wrapped his fingers around her wrists. “You deserve a man who will be there for you. You want the picket fence and babies. I can’t do that—”

  She shook her head. “The picket fence dream is long gone,” she said, with a conviction that made something in his gut ache.

  He didn’t want her to give up on that dream. It pissed him off that she could even say it, because he knew how much she craved it in her soul. “Don’t say that—”

  She pressed a finger to his lips. “I wouldn’t trust a picket fence even if it came knocking at my door. The reason I can relax with you is because that life is off the table. I needed you, just you, to bring me back to life. I see your greatness, Zane, and maybe it’s because of your refusal to see it in yourself that I see it so clearly. Maybe it’s because I need to see someone worth believing in, because I haven’t had a lot of people in my life to believe in.”

  He swore under his breath. A part of him wanted to stand up and announce that he’d never, ever let her down, that he could be the guy that she could believe in, but there was a dead kid who would prove that was a lie. “Don’t believe in me.” He hated to say the words. If there was one person on the planet that he’d want to be worthy of, it was Taylor. He didn’t want to drive her away, even though he knew he had to.

  “You know what I think?” she asked, ignoring his orders, much to his selfish relief.

  “What?”

  “I think you should take your portion of the ranch, and create a place for kids to come and learn about horses, the way you did. Brad didn’t want to play basketball or use computers, but maybe horses would have reached him, the way they did you.”

  For a split second, he stared at her, shocked by the idea. A part of him ignited with fire at the idea…and then he shook his head. “That would require me to commit to them. I can’t do that. I don’t know how to stay in one place.”

  She cocked her head. “That’s a bunch of crap, Zane. You know it. You’re just scared, but you know what? You’re a bull rider. You, of anyone, should know how to overcome fear.”

  “It’s not fear. It’s reality. I know how much it sucks when someone lets you down, and I know myself well enough to know that I’ll screw up eventually.”

  “Of course you will. Everyone does. That’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. Not when people are counting on you.” He sighed and ran his hand through her hair. “You’re such an idealist,” he said softly. “How do you see so much good in the world?”

  “I don’t. You made me.”

  He saw the truth in her eyes, and something inside him shifted. Was it really possible that he’d done something decent in his life, something that mattered? Because if he’d made a difference to Taylor, then, yeah, that was worth doing. He slipped his hand into her hair and kissed her, his lips gliding over her softer ones.

  She responded instantly, telling him without words that she wasn’t mad, that she didn’t judge him. She truly accepted him, and wanted nothing from him except whatever it was he felt like giving her. A part of him didn’t like that, because he wanted her to demand the world from him and anyone she trusted, but at the same time, it was a tremendous relief, the knowledge that he didn’t have to be more than he was.

  He cradled her face, kissing her more deeply, needing the connection with her. He loved the taste of her mouth, the feel of her lips, and the softness of her skin. He could lose himself forever in her and never want to go back to the world he inhabited.

  She made a small sound of pleasure, and wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled her against him, using his weight to keep their balance so they didn’t tumble off the rock. They were exposed to the world in all directions, perched on their pedestal,
but he didn’t care. He just wanted her.

  In the distance, he heard her phone ring, and she tensed slightly in his arms. “Work?” he asked between kisses.

  “Yes. That’s the ring I have for my boss.”

  “He gets his own ringtone?” Damn. He wanted her to assign a ringtone to him. The phone rang again, and he felt her attention wander toward it.

  No. This was his moment with her. No one else got to intrude.

  Zane angled his head, deepening the kiss, dragging her attention back to him. When she sighed and wrapped her arms more tightly around his neck, he felt a primal sense of satisfaction. He knew how much her work meant to her, and she’d chosen him. He didn’t want her to invest in him, but at the same time, he wanted her to choose him, give him his own ringtone, and park herself in his life and never leave—

  His phone rang next, echoing across the parched earth from where he had it stashed in his bike.

  “Who is it?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. Everyone gets the same ringtone on my phone.” He caught her mouth in a kiss again, whispering against her lips. “The only person I want to talk to is right here, so I’m not answering.”

  She smiled. “You do realize when you say things like that, it makes me melt for you, don’t you?”

  He grinned and dragged her into his arms, his cock rock hard. “You’re at my mercy, woman. I love that.” He cupped her breast as he nipped her earlobe.

  She gripped his upper arm. “We’re in plain view, Zane. Don’t—” He cut off her protests with a kiss. He didn’t care where they were. He just wanted her now. He had so much emotion swirling inside him, and Taylor seemed to take away all the shit and leave behind relief.

  She sighed and kissed him back, arching into him as he slipped his hand beneath her shirt and pinched her nipple—

  Her phone rang again, and this time it was a different ringtone.

  She stiffened again, breaking the kiss “That’s Mira’s ringtone.”

  “When do I get my own ringtone?” He didn’t stop kissing her.

  “I don’t even have your phone number.” She put her fingers over his mouth, seriously impeding his seduction skills. “What if the baby’s coming?”

  Zane shook his head. “She said it wasn’t coming for a while—” Then he cut himself off, remembering the call that had just come in on his phone. He didn’t get many calls. What if that had been about the baby? Sudden tension poured through him. He leapt down off the rock and sprinted over to his bike. He unearthed his phone as Taylor climbed down from the rock.

  He had a missed call from Chase. Swearing, he called his brother as Taylor ran over.

  Chase answered on the first ring. “The baby’s coming. Something’s wrong. We’re at the hospital. Can you take over at the ranch?”

  Taylor grabbed the phone from him. “Chase? What’s happening? I want to talk to Mira!”

  “We don’t know what’s going on yet. Mira can’t talk to you right now. I was using her phone to call you because I didn’t have your number. If you guys can go back to the ranch and take care of the animals, we’ll call—”

  “No!” Tears glistened in Taylor’s eyes. “I’m not going to the ranch. I’m coming to Mira. Where are you?”

  Chase swore. “Listen, there’s nothing you can do—”

  “She’s my best friend,” Taylor interrupted fiercely. “You don’t get to send me away. Where are you?”

  Zane held out his hand for the phone. Wordlessly, Taylor set it in his hand. Zane held it to his ear, while Taylor pressed her head next to his to listen. “Bro, shut the hell up. I’ll find someone to do evening feed at the barn. You don’t get to play solo on this one, and you know Mira would want Taylor there if you’d just ask her. Their bond is like ours. We’re coming. Got it?”

  He felt Chase’s relief over the phone. “Yeah, okay, thanks. It’s rough, man. I could use you, as long as the animals are okay.”

  “They’ll be fine. You’re at the regional hospital?” He’d been there many times, after assorted bull riding accidents when he was growing up.

  “Yeah.” Chase lowered his voice. “I’m scared, man. Mira and this kid are my life.”

  “We’re on our way.” Zane hung up, and jammed his phone in his bag. Taylor was already reaching for her helmet, and her face was ashen. The helmet slipped out of her fingers and thudded to the ground.

  Zane retrieved it for her, and set it on her head. Her hands were shaking so much she couldn’t even grab the chinstrap. He folded his hands in hers, squeezing gently. “She’s in a great place,” he said. “It’s a great hospital.”

  “Just go,” she said, pushing him toward the bike. “We need to go—”

  “Hey.” He grasped her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. Her blue eyes were wide, her forehead furrowed with anguish. “Listen to me, Taylor. Mira is in good hands. They’ll do everything possible for her, and Chase will make sure of it.”

  She gripped his wrists, her hands trembling violently. “She’s all I have in my life, Zane. She’s it. If I lose her—”

  “You have me, too. I’ve got your back, for whatever you need. Understand?”

  She stared at him. “But you said—”

  “I’m made for crisis situations. I’m not going anywhere. Lean on me. I’ll catch you. Got it?” Strength poured through him, an absolute determination to carry her through this, as well as Chase and Mira. This was why he’d hung around all these years, keeping his tenuous connection with his brothers. Because sometimes, all hell broke loose. He wasn’t the nightly dinner kind of guy, but when the shit hit the fan, it was his party.

  She nodded, tears filling her eyes. “Thank you.”

  “You got it.” He caught her chin and kissed her, a kiss meant to reassure her that she could count on him. As he’d hoped, she gripped the front of his jacket fiercely, dragging him against her as she kissed him back, pouring all her fear and worry into her connection with him.

  He locked his arm around her back and kissed her hard and deep, taking all her worry and accepting it as his own, offering her his strength.

  After a long moment, she broke the kiss, and buried her face in his neck. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. He loved the feeling of her body pressed against his, of the way she was leaning on him for comfort and strength. He knew he wasn’t a long-term guy, but in this moment, he could see the appeal of doing this for the rest of his life. Being the strong guy, the source of comfort, the one who could make her day better, felt damn good. He pressed a kiss to her hair. “Ready?”

  She nodded and pulled back, her eyes searching his. “You think she’ll be okay?”

  He wasn’t going to lie to her. He had no idea what was going on at the hospital. “Whatever happens, we’re going to handle it. I promise you that.”

  She nodded once, biting her lower lip. “Okay.” She didn’t take her gaze off his as he finished strapping her helmet on. He brushed his finger over a tear sliding down her cheek. “You can do this, sweetheart. Mira needs you to be strong for her and believe in her, but you can be as scared as you want when you’re with me. I’ve got you. Lean on me.”

  She nodded again. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you for being here with me.”

  “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” He swung his leg over the bike as she climbed on behind him. As she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed herself against him, he squeezed her hand. “I’ll keep the speed reasonable.”

  “No. Don’t. Please hurry.”

  He hit the ignition and the bike roared to life. “You got it.” Yeah, he’d go fast, but he wasn’t going to take the kind of chances he’d take when he was alone. He’d learned his lesson on that one. Taylor’s safety mattered more than any kind of speed, no matter what the reason, including running away from the life he didn’t want to live. “Hang on, sweetheart.”

  Her arms tightened around his waist, and he eased the bike forward, swinging it around to head back to the main
road. The moment the tires hit the pavement, he opened it up. The wind hit hard, just as he loved, but for the first time in his life, his bike wasn’t about an adrenaline rush or a chance to be alone. This time, his bike was about something more. It was his chance to do something for someone else, and it felt good.

  Damn good.

  Chapter 13

  Taylor felt like her entire world was crumbling. The waiting room was tense and silent. Zane was sitting beside her on the couch, his arm around her. Steen and Erin were sitting beside each other on another vinyl couch, and Chase was pacing restlessly. The hospital smelled of antiseptic and broken dreams, and the white walls were unbearably stark. Nurses and other patients bustled past, a blur of activity that didn’t matter, that barely registered.

  Only Mira and the baby mattered, but there had been no news for too long.

  “They should know by now,” Chase said. His face was ash white, and he looked like he was on the verge of passing out. He sank down next to Zane, his face in his hands. “I can’t lose them,” he whispered. “They’re my world.”

  Zane leaned forward, his head beside his brother’s as they exchanged quiet words. Steen stood up and came over. He sat on the edge of the coffee table, leaning forward to join the conversation between the brothers.

  The three men sat with their heads together, talking quietly. The intensity of the bond between the brothers was evident, and Taylor’s throat tightened. This was Mira’s world now, surrounded by people who loved each other and cared so deeply. She was so happy for her friend. After having to support others for so long, Mira had found a family who would never walk away from her. She’d found Chase, and acquired a posse.

  “She’s going to be okay,” Erin said. “They both are.”

  Startled, Taylor looked over at Erin, who was also leaning forward, her hands clasped together. She was looking at Taylor, addressing her, bringing her into the circle that she didn’t fit in. “You think so?”

  Erin nodded. “She’s an incredible woman, and she’s so protective of her baby. There’s no way she’s going to give up.”