Life of the Party

by Christine Anderson

  “I’ll take that, thank you.” A hand grabbed my other shot before I had a chance to take it.

  “What are you doing?” I looked up at Grey with shock, only half-annoyed. The other half of me was thrilled by his very presence.

  “A water for her please.” He ignored me and sat down. The waitress gave him an “anything for you” look and plunked an icy glass before me.

  “Thanks, but I’ll take another shot.” I decided.

  “No she won’t.” He shook his head and she obliged with a smile, completely ignoring me as she headed down to the other end of the bar.

  “Mackenzie, right?” He tipped back my shooter and then slammed it loudly on the bar.

  “Yes.”

  “You shouldn’t be drinking kiddo. Not when you’re as high as you look.”

  “Ugh,” I gave him a look of complete disgust. “Don’t call me kiddo.”

  “Sorry.” A smirk curled his lips, the first smile I’d ever received from him. “How old are you anyway?”

  “Seventeen. Tragic, isn’t it?”

  “Doesn’t seem to be holding you back any.”

  “I guess not.” I shrugged. “Why, how old are you?”

  “How old do you think?”

  “I don’t know …,” I bit my lip in thought, “given the stubble … I’d say … forty-two, forty-three? Am I close?” I giggled.

  “Ouch.” He smirked again. “Now that’s tragic.”

  “Okay,” I laughed, “for real. How old are you?”

  “Twenty-one. Old enough to know better.” Grey shrugged and smiled at me, a real smile this time. I grinned right back, crazily, foolishly in love with him.

  But then my cell phone rang.

  “Uh, hold on one sec.” I mumbled hastily, checking the number before flipping the phone open. The call was from Ben’s house.

  “Ken?”

  “Yes?” I hoped my voice held just enough impatience. “What’s up?”

  “Man, you gotta get over here right away. Riley’s totally freaking out.”

  My heart hit the bottom of my stomach. I stood up off the stool.

  “What do you mean freaking out? Is he okay? What’s going on?”

  “I don’t know. I think it’s the mush. He’s goin’ crazy Ken; he says you’re the only one that’ll make him feel better.”

  “Shit, Ben.” I sighed. “Dammit. Tell him I’ll be right there. I have to walk, I don’t have a ride. I’ll be there soon, just, try and keep him calm.”

  “‘Kay, hurry. Bye.”

  “Bye.” I hung up quickly and stuffed my phone hastily in my purse. “I gotta go. Riley’s having a really bad trip.”

  “Shit, really?”

  “Yeah.” I threw my coat on. “I don’t even really know what to do.”

  “Not much you can do. Just ride it out. And no matter how much he insists, don’t take him to the hospital. No one ever died from a mushroom trip.”

  “Thanks.” I smiled at Grey regretfully. How I wished I could stay. “Bye. See you around.”

  “Have a good night, kiddo.”

  I shot him a look and shook my head, and we were smiling at each other even as I reluctantly turned to leave him.

  CHAPTER 3

  The pavement shone in the streetlights, wet with a recent rain. The air was chill and damp as I walked, smoking, my boots clipping loudly in the quiet. My mind was racing with the evening’s events as my ears still thrummed with phantom bass. I felt like the worst friend in the world, ditching Riley when he needed me so I could swoon over a man four years older than I. But I was coming now, in the dead of night no less, to help my friend … though most of me wished I could be back at the club, basking in Grey’s voice and smile and attention instead of out walking in the cold.

  I hoped Riley was all right. My experience with mushroom trips was about equal to my experience with men … both nonexistent. I talked a big game, but when it came to relationships I had never really found anyone special enough. I’d make out a bit at parties and stuff, but I could never do the one-night-stand thing, especially when I was still a virgin. Most of the girls I knew were up into the double digits with their sexual escapades, but I couldn’t fathom how they could do that, how they could be so cavalier about sex. Sure, we seem to have moved past the whole waiting for marriage thing, but shouldn’t it at least mean something?

  There were plenty of rumours circulating at school that conflicted with my state of virginity, which was fine with me. It made me seem more bad-ass, I guess. And to me, that was not a bad thing. But bad-ass did come with consequences some times, like Riley’s trip right now.

  About four blocks later, Ben’s house came into view—a sprawling bungalow nestled in the back of a cul-de-sac, edged with manicured trees and expensive landscaping. Ben’s parents were loaded, which worked out well for us, as they left nearly every weekend in escape to their cabin on the lake. Ben’s mom even made sure the cupboards were well stocked before departing and entrusting the house to their youngest son and his rowdy friends. We really tried to keep it clean and nice for her though, because she did trust us. I really think she was quite wise about the whole thing.

  “Fuck, Mac, am I glad to see you.” Ben let out a waft of steamy smoke and stood from the curb as I approached him. “Its nuts in there.”

  “I don’t know why you’re so glad. I don’t know what to do anymore that you would. Ugh … my feet are killing me.”

  “It’s not me he’s been asking for all night.” Ben raised his eyebrows. “Were you having a good time with what’s-his-name? Sorry to spoil your fun.”

  “It’s all good.” I flicked my smoke into a puddle, listening to the sizzle when it hit the water. “His name is Grey. And yes, we were having fun.” I sighed. “Where’s Riley? What’s going on?”

  “Go see for yourself. I don’t know where to begin.”

  “Okay. Wish me luck.” I headed into the house then, somewhat anxious and not sure what to expect. The upstairs was bathed in darkness, so I went downstairs into the dim light of the TV room. Riley was there, alone and slouched upon the loveseat, staring at the empty screen on the TV—the only light in the room. It tinged everything an eerie blue.

  “Hey Ry. Whatcha doing sitting in the dark?” I asked. There was no answer, which kind of creeped me out. I flicked on the lamp nearest me. “Ry?”

  “Shut that off!” He screamed suddenly, pointing a small toy golf club at me like it was a sword. “Wait, wait, Mackenzie, is that you?”

  “Yeah, it’s me. What the hell are you doing?”

  “Exactly. Exactly.” He nodded his head in agreement, which made no sense. His hood was pulled down past his eyes, and all I could see was the tip of his nose and his mouth, which was set in a grim line. “See, I knew you’d understand. I hoped you’d come.”

  “Of course I came. What’s going on?”

  “I just ….” He pulled his hood down further. His voice was hoarse and choking. “I can’t control it. I can’t. The things I’m seeing … it’s not right. They’re not right.”

  “What are you seeing?” I sat down in the chair beside the lamp. “There’s nothing here, Ry. Nothing but me.”

  “No, I can’t tell you. It’s too terrible. Just be here. I think I’m dying.”

  “I am here. And you’re not dying; you’re going to be okay. Remember that one party when you ate all those hot wings before they were cooked? You swore you were dying then, but you were fine. You just gotta ride it out.”

  “This is slightly different than food poisoning, Mac.” Riley growled at me. “I didn’t see shit then.”

  “Oh, yes you did.” I laughed, trying to lighten his mood. “That’s all you saw for days.”

  “Mackenzie!” He shouted at me, stopping my laughter abruptly. “Don’t you get it? I’m in Hell. I’m in Hell. I see Hell right now.”

  “… What?”

  “It’s evil. All of it is evil, and I see it now. I see it clearly now and I wish I’d known the truth befor
e. I wish I had the chance to choose again. I’d choose differently.”

  “You are rambling about who-knows-what right now, Riley. Just relax. You are not going to die.” I sounded more confident than I felt. “Just take it easy, think of pleasant things. In a few hours this will all be over.”

  “No, it won’t ever be over.” His said desperately, clawing at his hood and his face. “Help me, Mac. Help me.”

  “I don’t know what to do.” I admitted, slightly panicked by his plea. “Tell me what to do Ry and I’ll do it, whatever you need.”

  He shook his head and then, pressing his hands against his face, Riley began to cry, silently sobbing into his palms. I had never in the fifteen years of our friendship seen Riley do that. Not when his dad left, not when his dog died, not even when he broke his wrist in Phys Ed. Those quiet tears scared me more than anything he ever could have said or done. I felt hollow and lost. Riley had always been my rock—the strong one, manly, emotionless. Now I didn’t know what to do.

  “Hey, Ry. It’s okay. It’s okay.” I struggled to control my voice, realizing that my hysterics would do nothing to ease the situation. I spoke softly and soothingly, like my mom did when I was sick or sad, and crossed over to him. As I put my arms around his shoulders, he jerked startlingly from my touch. I could feel the heat pouring off of him.

  “What can I do? Tell me what to do.” I pleaded.

  “I don’t know. Make it stop. Pray. Pray for me.”

  Pray? I held his trembling form as tightly as I could. I didn’t want to mention that prayer wouldn’t do anything for him, minus the fact that I’d never prayed a day in my life and wasn’t entirely sure how it was done. He shut his eyes then and his lips began to move silently, and I knew he was petitioning God, begging Him with all his might for this to stop.

  “Please Mackenzie. Pray. Pray for me.” His eyes, completely void of color in the dim light, were hauntingly desperate and filled with terror.

  “Okay.” I nodded, hugging him to me. “Lord ….” I didn’t know what to say, what to even ask for. Help Riley have a good mushroom trip? I doubted God would be into that kind of thing.

  “Lord.” I started. “Please save my friend Riley from Hell.”

  I awoke the next morning to a horrible kink in my neck. Slowly I strained to turn my head, rubbing the aching muscles with a stiff arm. Riley slept next to me, his face pale, but calm and peaceful now. He had thrown one of his arms around me during the night, and it lay heavily around my waist, warm and comforting. I was relieved that our rightful roles had been restored, and he was again taking care of me. I sighed contentedly and snuggled against him. There was no safer place in the world than Riley’s arms. None I had found anyway.

  I studied his face while he slept. Dark smudges lay beneath his eyes, a tribute to the horrible night we had spent. For hours we sat together, and I tried to comfort him as best I could, but there wasn’t much I could do. He had to ride it out by himself, and what he went through I don’t think I’ll ever comprehend. He tried to keep it mostly to himself, but at times he trembled so violently I nearly thought he was having a seizure. Other times he paced the room, muttering incoherently, trapped in the utter torture of his hallucinations, at the total mercy of his mind.

  But eventually, like Grey said it would, the terror faded. I felt Riley’s body gradually relax, the tension unwinding as the mushrooms wore off and the delusions finally dwindled. Exhausted from the ordeal, I had passed out sitting up, unable to keep my eyes open once I knew he’d be okay. My body ached from the uncomfortable sleep in such an unusual position, but I didn’t regret it. Not for Riley.

  “Mmm … what time is it?” He asked then, his eyes still shut in a grimace.

  “I don’t know.” I looked at the bright sun filtering through the Venetian blinds. “Mid-morning? Early afternoon?”

  “Too early, whatever time.”

  “How you feeling?”

  “Not good.” He opened his eyes, slowly, and looked up at the roof. “Gut rot.”

  “I would imagine. Among other things.”

  “Man ….” He shook his head.

  “You okay?”

  He hesitated. “Yeah. Let’s not talk about it. I wish I’d never put you through that.”

  I scoffed. “Psssh. I’m fine.”

  “Yeah. Well, I’m sorry. I think that was the last time I’ll ever do mush.”

  “I should hope so. I will personally kick your ass if you ever do them again.”

  “Deal.” He smiled. “How was your first E experience?”

  “Umm ….” I thought. “Pretty awesome. Yeah, I definitely loved it.”

  “I thought you would.”

  “What’s not to like?”

  “Yeah ….” He nodded, but I noticed he looked … worried almost. Like he was frowning.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. Sorry to ruin your night.”

  “No, you didn’t. It was fine, really. Oh, and guess what else. You’ll never guess.”

  “What?” He smiled.

  “Do you think … could you still get me that job, at your restaurant?”

  “What, really?” His eyes brightened. “That’d be awesome. They’re always hiring, I’m sure it’ll be no problem. Sweet. What made you change your mind?”

  “Well ….” I looked away, feeling a blush of heat sweep my cheeks. “That’s where Grey works, right?”

  Complete silence. I glanced up at Riley, but the look on his face was totally indiscernible. His eyes were flat, void of emotion, but his face seemed hard. He looked up at the ceiling again.

  “Mackenzie …,” he gulped, as if thinking out his words carefully. “Do you really think that Grey would be good for you? I mean, he’s a decent fellow, but he’s not exactly someone you bring home to mom.”

  “You seem to think it’s that easy, like I’d even stand a chance.” I scoffed.

  “I think you’d be surprised.”

  “Okay, let’s say I do. What’s so bad about him? He seems to have lots of friends. And his band is doing really well, aren’t they?”

  “Yeah, I guess. I don’t know. I don’t want to bad mouth the guy, but I think you could do better.”

  “I think the same for you, whenever you meet someone.” I admitted, meeting his deep brown eyes. “I think it’s a curse of ours, Ry. We care too much about each other to be only friends, but friends are all we’ll ever be. Don’t you agree?”

  He stared up at the ceiling, hesitating before he slowly nodded his head.

  “Right. Just friends. That’s all we’ll ever be.”

  I thought about his slowly uttered words, and although I agreed with them, for some reason they bothered me. It was almost like there was a sudden separation, a mutual and silent decision we both made in that moment, to have those words come true. Ever since we’d reached adolescence the possibility had always been there, like a white noise in the background, a constant subconscious thought that flirted with our deep bond of friendship and threatened to make it more. I had always denied this hidden feeling and curiosity and I’m sure he did the same. But his words, as they rent the air, brought with them a feeling of definite, a sudden detachment in our closeness, as though certain things forever available were now forbidden to each other and forever-off limits. I wondered if he felt it too. It was a terrifying feeling, as though we had just mutually agreed to go our separate ways.

  “Riley—” I tried hard to control my voice. I was searching for an easy way, any way to make this work without losing my best friend in the process. “Promise me that no matter what happens, no matter who we end up with or what we go through; promise me you’ll always be there. Promise that, that you’ll always love me.”

  He turned back to me then, and a little smile curved his lips. His dark eyes were the same, warm and comforting. But the detached feeling remained.

  “You don’t need me to say that, Mackenzie.”

  “Why?”

  “Because. You know it’s the truth
.”

  CHAPTER 4

  Dad was waiting for me on the front porch of our house when I slowly ambled up the sidewalk, frowning from the lack of sleep and tormented emotions. He wore the sheen of someone who had just spent the day in a plane, his suit was rumpled and his face needed shaving. He didn’t look overly impressed with me.

  “Is this a habit of yours? Staying out all night without telling anyone?”

  “Well, hello to you too.” I squinted. “No, it’s not a habit. And what difference does it make? No one was here anyway.”

  “The difference is, you are seventeen years old and you have a curfew, which you’ve only broken by about, oh, twelve or thirteen odd hours.”

  “How do you know? Maybe I came home last night and left really early this morning. You’d never know.”

  He didn’t answer, just looked at me hard, as if he were trying to figure me out. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. It was easy to beat my dad at this game. Most of the time he didn’t have the patience or the energy to try and battle me.

  “Well, you made it just in time.” He smiled then, his voice overly chipper, his I-just-want-to-get-along-with-you-today voice. “Marcy’s coming over to dinner! She just called.” He grinned broadly.

  “What! Wow.” My sarcasm was obvious. “What are you still doing here? The fattened calf isn’t going to kill itself.” With that I brushed by him, rolling my eyes, and headed quickly in and up to my room before he could bother me anymore.

  To my horror of horrors, my mother had laid out on my bed a neat little cardigan set, bubblegum pink, with a grey plaid skirt to go with it. I made a noise of frustration and leaned against my door until it slammed shut. Silently I repeated my mantra, only a few more months and I would be on my own, away from these people, living in sweet freedom, a life totally void of anything involving the hue bubblegum pink. I sat on my bed, purposely seating myself right upon the offending garments. I wanted a smoke, but since my mom was a doctor, she’d smell it instantly and then really be a pain in the ass.