Separated from Yourselves

by Bill Hiatt

“And so you made a bargain with him?” asked Arianrhod. By this time Gordy, brave as he was, was shaking. His dragon armor was designed to prevent him from feeling fear, so he might just have been quaking from nerves, but it was hard to tell from watching him.

  “We tried not to, but eventually he got hold of Jimmie’s soul, and we believed that stopping Magnus meant losing Jimmie. At that point we though we had no choice but to work with him.”

  “You were willing to trade Jimmie’s soul for the one trapped within…this Magnus?” asked Arianrhod.

  “I know I shouldn’t feel this way,” said Gordy, “but if it came to it, and the only two choices were save Jimmie or save Robin, yeah, I’d pick Jimmie. We all hoped it would never come to that, though. If I have done wrong, punish me, but help Tal get healed. He had nothing to do with any of this.”

  “You were at least honest,” said Arianrhod, getting up from her throne and walking slowly toward him. “No one can lie to me here in Caer Sidi and escape detection. What of you?” she asked, turning to Magnus. “What have you to say for yourself?”

  “Only this, my lady: I have done no more than most people would have in my place. To keeping this body I freely admit. I could not have survived otherwise. To holding Jimmie’s soul hostage, I did that only after some of these others betrayed an agreement they made with me. Even if I could have destroyed Jimmie’s soul, I would not have wanted to, and I have no more desire to keep Atlante in Jimmie’s body permanently than Atlante does. I needed protection from people who would not honor their agreements, and we all needed Atlante’s help to avert an even bigger evil.”

  If nothing else, Magnus was cool under pressure. Arianrhod studied him for a long time, her face becoming almost as emotionless as his own.

  “You, too, speak the truth,” she said at last, “though it is not a pleasant truth.”

  “If I may, there is one other thing I would like to say, here in this place, with you as witness,” said Magnus. “The other members of my party will never believe me unless you verify the truth of my words.”

  “Very well,” said Arianrhod, though she seemed surprised.

  “I have come to realize that keeping Robin Goodfellow prisoner within his own body like this is not right. Though I have no wish to surrender it and cease to exist, I believe I can perfect a version of the spell that makes me Tal’s perfect double on an…unused body, a corpse or something like it, or maybe even a mechanical body forged by Hephaestus. Once I can do that, I will move into the other body and surrender this one.”

  Arianrhod looked more amazed than ever. “To make an exact copy of another, as you apparently have, is hard to credit, yet I see the evidence before me. To make an exact copy from dead flesh, or even from a machine? I think such an endeavor is doomed, but I can tell that you believe it to be possible, and that it is truly your intent.”

  I wondered if Magnus had worked out some way to fool Arianrhod. On the other hand, the solution he proposed would enable him to go off somewhere and live a life free of us, as well as free of any faeries who might want Robin back.

  “However,” continued the ex-goddess, her tone once again glacial, “that you have a sincere plan to end this evil does not excuse what you have done. These bodies should be restored to their rightful occupants now, not at some point in a future that may never come to pass.”

  I could see Gordy wanted to say something, but he’d already been through enough. It was my turn to face Arianrhod’s disapproval.

  “Lady Arianrhod…may I speak?”

  “You may,” she replied, though I could tell she was becoming impatient. Despite my inability to speak smoothly, I was going to have to find a way to convince her to let us keep Magnus long enough to save our world, Phul’s world, Olympus, and Annwn. We had convinced Phul—after he had been beaten to a pulp by the fake Olympians. I doubted Arianrhod was going to wander off to the Olympian plane and let the same thing happen.

  It took me an hour to move her, though part of that caused by my slow speaking. I would have liked to think it was my natural eloquence and charm that won her over, but really it was her ability to read the furthest depths of my soul, to know infallibly that I—that all of us—spoke the truth.

  “I must embrace this reality, bitter as it is,” she finally admitted. “I must allow this evil to continue—briefly—that greater evil may be averted. More, I must give you what aid I can.

  In order for me to be assured of your firm resolve, however, I require a tynged,” she added, looking at each of us. “To give my help to body stealers and users of dark magic—and their allies—would otherwise be unthinkable.”

  Gordy in particular looked offended at being called one of Magnus’s allies, even though he had confessed to the connection just a few minutes ago. Really we all were allies of his, like it or not.

  “To what would you have us bind ourselves?” asked Magnus.

  “You must agree that you will surrender the body to its rightful owner once you fashion the spell you propose, and also that if you fail, you will surrender the body regardless.

  “As for you,” she said, turning to Atlante, “you must agree to surrender the body you now occupy when the service you have promised to this party has been performed.”

  “I will agree,” said Atlante, “but only after I have achieved my quest to find the reincarnation of my adopted son, Ruggiero, and have made amends for failing him in life. I pledged to help this party in its quest in exchange for their agreement to help me with mine.”

  “Let it be so,” said Arianrhod reluctantly. “There must, however, be a limit to the time that either you or Taliesin’s dark double can retain the bodies you now hold. I propose a year.”

  “My lady,” said Eva, “a year is a long time to keep Jimmie from his body.”

  “Fear not,” replied Arianrhod, smiling for the first time since our arrival. “I doubt that anywhere nearly that long will be required for Atlante to fulfill his quest.

  “As for the rest of you,” she said, once again looking us over, “I see many of you carrying the weapons and wearing the armor of Govannon, which you could only have gotten by the grace of Gwynn ap Nudd, my nephew—unless you stole them.”

  “We aren’t thieves,” protested Gordy.

  “Has Taliesin never told you the tale of how he and Arthur came to Annwn to steal some of its magic treasures?” asked Arianrhod.

  I found myself blushing. “That was…long ago, and…I followed…the orders…of…my…king.”

  Arianrhod smiled again. “I was but jesting. I have long forgiven that particular transgression. I mention gifts from Gwynn for a much more serious purpose, for I sense he, too, is in dire need of aid. I alone would not suffice, nor can I easily leave here to join him. In exchange for my help in your quests, I will require you to come to the aid of Gwynn in his hour of need.”

  All of us knew we owed Gwynn, so the idea wasn’t controversial. However, it was a considerable risk to swear to help someone when we had no idea what he was facing, especially when we also had to face Vanora and her allies, as well as Hecate and hers. Arianrhod, however, did the best she could to calm our fears.

  “I have a sense of what lies ahead of you,” she said. “I, who can see the pattern of things better than you, tell you now that what is happening in your world, on Olympus, and in Annwn are all linked. What seem to be many foes are truly one, and to vanquish that foe requires victory in all three places.”

  That wasn’t exactly good news, but whatever. I was pretty sure we would have ended up fighting in all three places anyway. Part of me was relieved Arianrhod didn’t come up with even more places in which we had to fight.

  “Can we truly manage all that?” asked Gordy.

  “Yes, brave knight, you can,” said Arianrhod. “If you follow the right path.”

  As reassurance went, that was a little too cryptic for my taste, but neither I nor anyone else decided to call her out on it.

  We had to go through the usual tedious business o
f crafting the wording of each tynged, which left most of us with time on our hands. Tal Twelve and I used the time to exchange stories. He told me about our childhood, and I told him about our last four years. Bizarre as the situation was, we both enjoyed it.

  At one point I noticed Magnus talking to Eva. Despite my better judgment, I found myself trying to eavesdrop. Tal Twelve picked up on what I was doing and stopped talking.

  “It’s a big risk,” he was saying. “I did it for you.”

  “You need Arianrhod’s help to get Tal back so you can take blood from him. That’s all it is,” replied Eva, though not as coldly as I might have expected.

  “I’ll admit that’s part of the reason,” said Magnus, “but it’s not all of it. I’m trying to be better…for you. I thought of the idea before we ever met Arianrhod, when for all I knew we would find Tal’s memories lying around somewhere and need no Celtic ex-goddess to bring them back for us.”

  “Yeah, right,” said Eva, but I could tell she wasn’t dismissing the idea completely. Even with only the last four years of memory, I knew her well enough to see she was actually considering the thought that Magnus might be capable of reforming.

  When the negotiations were finally over, pledging our agreement and feeling each tynged sink its teeth into us took a very short time. Unfortunately, then came the long wait while Arianrhod pondered how to fix me.

  “It would have been an easier task if you had not already been ripped into pieces,” she said to me as she glared at Magnus and Atlante. Magnus looked away, but Atlante looked apologetic.

  I had lost track of how long we had been in Caer Sidi or how the flow of time might differ from that in our own world. I worried about what we would find when we got back. And yeah, I worried if Arianrhod could actually break Cronus’s spell.

  “Can she really help us?” asked Tal Twelve at one point.

  “I think so. Back in…the day the Welsh…worshiped Arianrhod…as a goddess, though like…most of the Celtic…ex-deities, she seems to…have voluntarily…renounced the title. She wouldn’t…have taken…such a label…in the first place…if she hadn’t been…pretty powerful.”

  “What was she the goddess of?” he asked. I would have been reminded of how curious I was as a child if I could have remembered anything about my childhood.

  “The moon…as you can…probably guess…from the way…this place…is decorated. You see how…the…constellations rotate around…the walls?” Tal Twelve nodded. “That…represents Arianrhod’s control…of time—like Cronus. I don’t know…if she is as powerful…as he is, though. She was also…said to rule…a land where the…dead awaited…reincarnation.”

  “That means she might be able to help Atlante find Ruggiero?” asked Tal Twelve. “So we could get Jimmie back.”

  “Duh,” I said. “I should…have thought…of that. That’s…how she…could reassure…Eva…that we…would not…have to wait…long to get…Jimmie back. I thought…you didn’t believe…he was Jimmie.”

  “You and Eva convinced me. She tried to tell me before, but when I heard your story about how he came back to life, I knew it had to be. I still can’t believe he’s with Eva, though.”

  Since my love for Eva had developed during the years I couldn’t remember, I didn’t feel much about the Eva-Jimmie relationship one way or the other. Looking at Tal Twelve’s anguished face, I began to hope that maybe that hopeless love wouldn’t come back when I was restored.

  If I was restored. It was possible I was just a weak copy of the original and that Tal Twelve would grow back to being the real Tal while I faded into nothingness.

  I had a moment of realizing why Magnus fought so hard to hold on to existence, but only a moment.

  After all, if I didn’t exist, I wouldn’t be conscious of the fact. It wouldn’t be like death. At least, I didn’t think it would. We had traveled well beyond the boundaries of what I thought was possible already.

  At last Arianrhod was ready to proceed. She had Tal Twelve and me stand at the very center of the chamber. She walked around us, chanting, and as she did so, a silver circle rose gradually from the floor tiles, getting higher and brighter—so bright I had to close my eyes. Tal Twelve gripped my hand. I could feel his hand shaking, and I squeezed it reassuringly. I remembered how hard it was sometimes to be a kid, though being a kid for me was different from what Tal Twelve had been going through.

  Wait! I was remembering. Details were flooding back, a little like the awakening of my past lives, only less overwhelming, less chaotic. Instead of making me feel devastated, my memories made me feel whole again for the first time since I had been ripped loose from Tal Twelve. I wanted to shout, I wanted to do a victory dance, but I could tell the spell was still going, so I restrained myself just in case. The last thing I wanted would be to disrupt the magic before it had finished its work.

  At last the chanting stopped. I opened my eyes slowly—the bright light had faded—and I was shocked to see everyone looking so grim.

  “Guys, what’s wrong? It…” and then I realized why they thought it hadn’t worked.

  There was a hand still holding mine.

  I looked down, and Tal Twelve was looking back at me, uncertain.

  I turned to Arianrhod almost angrily. “What happened?” I said in an overly demanding tone. “You seem to have restored me, yet my younger self is still here.”

  For the first time, Arianrhod looked sad. “Taliesin, you are indeed restored. I could give you back the memories and the magic the spell had taken. When it came to completely reversing the spell and merging the two of you again, I did not dare.”

  “Were you afraid Cronus would retaliate somehow?” I asked. “He still can’t leave Olympus.”

  “I know of the imprisonment of the Olympians, and I would not quake to face an Olympian even if I did not know. I fear him not. The balance of the universe must be maintained, however. That I would not willingly disrupt.”

  “How would reversing the spell disrupt any balance?” asked Tal Twelve. “You would just be putting things back the way they were.”

  “Would it were so, child. Alas, things have changed since Cronus cast the original spell. I cannot say how it happened, but when I started to weave my counterspell, I realized that both you and your older self had souls.”

  “Well, of course we did!” I protested.

  “No, Taliesin, you misunderstand me. Separate souls. You are…two separate beings now, not versions of the same one. Putting both souls in the same body—or even worse, exiling the one now in your younger self—would have created another abomination.”

  Just when I thought I understood how the universe worked, it threw me another curve ball.

  “How is such a thing possible?” asked Magnus.

  “I am tempted to blame your bungled attempt to break the spell in the first place,” said Arianrhod. “However, I cannot believe you could have made two separate souls. It can only be…God’s will, for reasons I cannot fathom.”

  “You mean…I’m gonna stay, and I’m gonna be stuck being twelve forever?” asked Tal, lip quivering as he did so.

  “Oh, no, child,” said Arianrhod, kneeling next to him. “I knew you could not have the life you would want if kept frozen as you are now. I modified Cronus’s spell to allow you to age normally, to grow up. I could have broken it completely, but instead I turned his curse into a gift. Though you can age, your body will still repel physical injury and magical interference.”

  I hadn’t remembered being so resilient as a kid, but Tal Twelve quickly adjusted to the idea of growing up to be a superhero.

  As for the logistics, Gordy was quick to point out the whole situation would be easier now. “We won’t have to explain how you are suddenly twelve. Instead of trying to pass him off as you, we can present him as some kind of cousin who has come to live with your family. You know, a variation on what we already did with Khalid and Jimmie.”

  “And look at how well that turned out!” said Khalid happily, giving
Tal Twelve a hug.

  Yeah, look at how well. Jimmie wasn’t around to mention how awkward it was to have to pretend to be someone else and not tell his own parents who he really was. Tal Twelve wouldn’t have to do it with my mom, but my dad couldn’t be told.

  Or could he? At this point I was willing to take a chance on doing just that, and if we got to save Gwynn’s butt, he at least would probably agree easily enough. What was one more mortal knowing the truth about the world at this point?

  “What are we going to call him?” asked Eva. “Obviously not Tal Twelve.”

  “It’s true it would be confusing if we were both Taliesin,” I pointed out gently.

  “Oh, like I really wanted to keep Taliesin,” Tal Twelve said with a scowl, reminding me how much I hated the name when I was a kid.

  “Well, then, what do you want to be called?” asked Gordy. “Perhaps we should leave it up to you.”

  Tal Twelve considered for a minute. “How about Michael?” he said at last. “Michael Weaver. Sounds like the next Santa Brígida Middle School soccer MVP, doesn’t it?”

  I had a moment of nostalgia. Before the awakening, I had loved soccer so much, but by my eighth-grade year, I was no longer even playing soccer, though I picked it up again much later, at Dan’s insistence.

  Maybe Michael would have part of the life I lost.

  “Are you then pleased with my work now, Taliesin?” asked Arianrhod, with just a hint of mockery in her voice.

  “Truly I am sorry I doubted you,” I replied.

  “Well, then, all that remains is to reveal who Ruggiero now is to satisfy my part of the tynged with Atlante.

  “You know already?” Atlante asked, shocked.

  “This group of people must stand very close to a nexus of destiny, for seldom have I seen such an odd coincidence. Truly not a coincidence, but the working of some higher power. The soul that was once in Ruggiero is part of this very group.”

  It was true enough that we were never far from coincidence. Not so long ago, I had come to the conclusion that all of us were connected in our previous lives. That one of us was also connected to a sorcerer we had stumbled upon seemingly by chance was just business as usual for us.