Finding Beauty (The Beauty Trilogy Book 1)
Page 6
Cannon pulls out of me and gets up; walking toward the bathroom. I knew this would fucking happen. What is wrong with me? I start putting my clothes back on, and then I Cannon comes back in.
“Cannon, you don’t have to say anything. Me and you are good now, we can be friends.” That’s when I peek up at him. He is standing there, naked and fuming.
“What the fuck do I have to do to convince you that I want more with you? I get that your ex did a number on you, but we could have something real. Why do you keep denying us this chance?” he says.
I honestly don’t know what to say to him. I can’t tell him the truth, how I’m not good enough for him. He deserves someone who is equally equipped for him to be seen with and have sex with. But, I stare at him just wondering how I already let myself fall for him more than earlier.
“Cannon, I’m just going through some shit right now, and I don’t want to bring you into that. I just think it’s in our best interest that we don’t do this “couple” thing. It will save us both some heartache in the end.” Taking a chance, I look at him. He is right next to me, and all I want to do is cuddle up to him.
He grabs my face and says, “Collins, give us a chance. Give me two months to prove to you that this could be something. I want you to know this before you say anything. I don’t want a relationship, but I will be there for you as a lover and as a friend.”
I just stare into his blue eyes thinking Tyler was an unforeseen heartbreak, but this will be totally up to me. I know I shouldn’t say what I am about to say because this will irrevocably shatter my heart into pieces. “I will give you one month to get this out of our systems. But after this month, we will be only friends.”
He grabs my face and kisses me with a passion that could set my soul on fire. He pulls back and smiles at me with a wicked interpretation. “For one month, you will be only mine, and I will only be yours. When it comes to the bedroom, I am the one who gives the fucking orders. I will make sure you are completely satisfied. We will hang as friends, too.” I want to argue, but he kisses me with such fire. He will certainly be the death of me.
Shit, what the hell am I going to tell Parker? “Cannon, what about your sister? She will want to know why we are “hanging out” so much.”
Seeming unbothered by the question, he simply says, “We just tell her that we are friends, too.”
I have a feeling this will end badly, but I’ve always been a damn worrier. Fuck, what is my life coming to?
The following day, Parker calls me to meet up for some food, and she also promises she will take me to this cute little book shop.
I still can’t believe that I’m “hanging out” with Parker’s brother. If she ever finds out, I don’t know what she will think of me. She is the only real friend I have here. Thinking of her brother, he snuggles up closer to me. “Cannon, you are seriously going to have to leave. Your sister will be here in an hour, and I don’t want her to know that we are having sex.”
He groans. “Fuck, Collins, how do you look so exquisite this early? You look good enough to eat.” He starts sliding down my body and sinks a finger into me. He growls out, “You are always so wet and ready for me. Just me.”
“Cannon, we don’t have time for this.” But, he doesn’t listen. Instead, he is busy mouth fucking me. I’m too busy screaming Cannon’s name to hear someone come in, like my idiot brother.
“Fuck, Collins! I’m sorry. Shit, fuck how does this door open?” He is so flustered he is tripping over Cannons pants. Finally, he gets the door open, and then closes it when he leaves, and I’m completely mortified. Cannon is fucking laughing.
“What the hell is so funny? My fucking brother walked in on us, while you were eating me like a damn Thanksgiving dinner. How is that funny?”
“Love, it’s fucking hilarious. Your brother was completely tripping over himself. Also, you managed to fucking finish coming as he walked into the fucking door.” I literally have lost my damn mind, because I start laughing, too. I haven’t laughed like this in a long time.
Finally, taking a breath, I look at Cannon, and fuck, he is gorgeous. He is mine for a month. Not knowing what comes over me, I shove him back down on the bed, while sliding down his scorching body. I’m greeted with his pleasurable package. I grab him and start working my hand up and down his length.
I want to taste him and bring him the same pleasure that he has given me continuously. Looking up at him, he is staring at me and how my hand is moving. It’s then that I take him into my mouth and damn if he doesn’t taste delectable.
He throws his head back, groaning. “Fuck, that mouth is wicked.” Grabbing my head and moving at my pace, I work his dick into my mouth.
“Collins, fuck, I’m coming.” I hold on to him as he empties into me. Something has taken over me because I continue to pump and suck him to the very last drop.
Cannon pulls me up to him and kisses me. “Fuck, girl, that mouth should be illegal.”
I can’t believe I just did that, but it is the most empowering thing I have ever done. Shit, I remember that my brother just walked in on me and Cannon and that he was certainly not quiet just then.
Still lying in Cannon’s arms, I say, “I have to go and talk to Rogen real quick, and then you have to go before your sister gets here.”
“I want to stay. I’ll just tell her that Rogen invited me for breakfast,” he says getting up and heading to the bathroom. Fuck that man is going to ruin me from other men.
I yell, “Fine, but I get the shower before you do.”
Putting my clothes on, he leans out the door and says, “Babe, we are going to share the shower, that way we save time before Parker gets here.” He winks and closes the door. I turn and reach for the door handle, ready for whatever my big brother is going to tell me.
14
Embarrassed
Rogen is sitting in my library looking out the window. He turns to me, and he is not really looking at me. “Collins, fuck, I’m sorry. I should have knocked, but I thought that Cannon had already left. Fuck, that’s not an excuse.”
Taking a deep breath, I say, “Rogen, it’s fine. Embarrassing, but fine. I didn’t want you to find out this way, fuck I just didn’t want you to find out at all.” As I continueto ramble on, I take the chance to look up at my brother’s face. I am in shock— he is seriously fucking laughing at this situation at hand. “What the literal fuck are you laughing at, Rog? Seriously, I thought you would be pissed at me for acting irresponsible.”
“Collins, I am not pissed. I am just surprised and scarred for life. I just saw my baby sister being…ahhhh, fuck, I am not going to say it. Listen, let’s just agree to never bring it up again. Agreed?”
I am actually fully on board about never bringing the topic up again, but I need to at least tell him to keep it under wraps. Me nor Cannon want Parker to know what is going on between us. “Rogen, I completely agree with you… but I need you to promise me something. Okay?”
He is looking at me curiously, but nods, “Okay.”
“Me and Cannon are not in a relationship. This is more for pleasure rather than romance. So, we absolutely do not want Parker to know what’s going on between us. Can I trust you to not go blabbing your damn mouth to Dalton or Parker?”
He seems more pissed off about this than him knowing that me and Cannon are fuck buddies. “Like, what the fuck, Collins? Is he fucking scared to go public with you? I’m going to beat the shit out him…” He is already halfway down the steps before I can comprehend that he actually means the “beat the shit out of him” part.
“Rogen, stop! It was my fucking idea.”
He whips his head around and storms over to me. “And why the fuck would you want that?”
Looking at him and trying to figure out a good excuse is seriously hard because this is the only person that I have always been completely honest with. “Because, Rogen… I am not ready for a fucking relationship. Plus, I just want to have fun right now… I don’t want to be tied down.”
He looks at me, and I know he doesn’t believe it. But, he just nods and says, “Collins, you are a grown woman, and this is your life. So, it’s your decision. Not mine.”
I’m about to say something when Cannon yells out my name. “Collins, love…” I melt when he says, love. It’s such an endearing name.
“Cannon, just give me one more minute!”
I look at my brother, and he has a weird expression on his face, but, I decide not to question it. I look at the clock, and it’s already been thirty minutes. “Rogen, thank you for respecting my decisions. So, do I have your promise not to say anything to Dalton or Parker?”
“Sure, Collins. I hope you know what you’re doing. I am here for you, always, kid.” With that, I dash back to my room, where I find Cannon laying on my bed… naked. He is best described as a Greek god with scrumptious tattoos all over his drool-worthy body. He catches me ogling him.
“Like what you see, love? Because I am fucking getting hard at what I see.” This man makes me hot in all the right places…
“I may like what I see… but I can think of something that I think we would both love to see.” I start stripping my robe off and walking into the bathroom. I’m hoping he will follow me. I look up into the mirror and start fingering myself.
First, I slowly move in circles, and then I start letting two of my fingers go deep within me. I’ve never been so aroused by this simple act, and I’m left wondering if this is turning Cannon on when all of a sudden, I am pushed up against the counter, and he’s slamming into me so deep that I just know I will feel him for fucking days.
He is moving with the purpose of pleasure and speed. It’s rough and hard… I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. One of his hands is fingering my clit, while the other is wrapped around my hair. My tits bounce up and down. I start to use my own hands to pinch and roll my nipples… and I become even wetter, and Cannon knows it.
I’m on edge watching us bring pleasure to one another, and it’s more than I can handle. I’m shouting out his name in pure bliss, “Cannon!!!”
“Give it to me, Collins… every… fucking… drop,” he says in a growling voice.
That’s when I decide to look up at him and see how my body turns him on until all I see is his head being thrown back, yelling my name.
I don’t know what the fuck has come over me, but this new empowering me is yelling ‘fuck yeah’ in my head.
After the morning delight with Cannon, we had just enough time to jump in the shower before Parker stopped by to pick me up. It is so hard to keep this part of my life a secret from the one person that I feel is genuinely my best friend.
But, if Parker finds out about me and her brother, it could ruin everything good I have in my life here in Scotland. It’s been a couple of days since I last saw Cannon and it’s not for the lack of him trying, but I need the space to make sure he is aware that this “thing” is only temporary. As I sit in my office, I get a text message… then another one… and so on.
“Love, are avoiding me?”
“Seriously, do you want to grab lunch today?”
“Collins, it’s only a couple of days into this arrangement, and you are already trying to skip out on me?”
“I think you might need a reminder on who is boss… during this particular time. Meet me at the bar @ 12 tonight. Someone needs to be punished.”
Holy mother of…
“Ms. Danford, line one is for you,” my assistant says, making me jump like a prepubescent teenager being caught with their pants down.
“Yes, I will take the call. Thank you!” I already know who it is before I say hello. My parents have been trying to reach me for over two weeks, and I’ve been dodging them for a major reason— I am not coming home anytime soon.
“Mom, how are you?”
“Collins Renee Danford, don’t you dare ‘how are you’ me. I am beyond mad at you at the moment for several reasons: a.) When were you going to call your Momma? b.) Your brother tells me that you are not coming home? c.) Your best friend tells me that you might not even come home for her wedding. Is it true?”
Why is my mother in contact with the one person that I hate most in my life? If this isn’t betrayal, then my name isn’t Collins Danford.
“Mom, why the hell are you talking to that lying bitch in the first place? And to answer your question, no, I am not coming home. I am living in Scotland indefinitely.”
I just did a big no-no in my southern upbringing. Never, and I mean never, cuss your mother, but in this situation, I believe it’s called for. My mother knows the extent of what happened between me, Preston, and Tyler— the crying and constant excuses not to go out anymore. She is my mother for crying out loud. Aren’t they supposed to have an intuition about these things?
“Collins Danford, I never raised you to cuss your Momma. Where has your upbringing went, little girl? I don’t know who you are anymore. The Collins I knew would have never let her friends down or used filthy language towards her mother.”
“Well, that Collins is tired of being abused and taken advantage of. I am done cowering down to Tyler… Preston… you… and myself. I am a new and improved Collins. A Collins that doesn’t take shit from anybody and that includes you, Mother.” I hang up on her.
I have never blown up on anyone other than myself. I’m finally taking up for myself for once in my life, and I don’t know whether I like it or not. I have to talk to someone, and I want to talk to the last person I should want to talk about this stuff— Cannon. He isn’t my boyfriend, but he does encourage me in a way that I never knew possible.
Even though I want to call him and tell him about the moment that empowered me to finally have the balls to stand up to at least one person in my miserable life… I don’t. Instead, I text Rogen to meet up for lunch and ask him why he told our mother that I was not fucking coming home in the first place. I love my big brother, but damn the man has a big mouth sometimes.
15
Roommate
We opted to wait until dinner to talk about the heavy stuff, but then came the interruption of finally meeting my roommate— Rain, Dalton’s sister.
Rogen and I are seated at the dining room table when the front door is unlocked.
“Hallo, you must be Collins. It’s so lovely to meet you finally,” a woman says while giving me a hug and then sitting. She looks at me and sees the confusion written all over my face.
“Fuck, my brother didn’t tell you that my internship ended earlier than expected. My name is Rain. I am your roommate,” she says with a grimace.
Rain could easily be described as the epitome of a punk rock goddess. She has long flowing pink hair with tattoos all over her tiny, but full body. Her clothes mirror her features. She is made up entirely of leather, except for the Jack Daniels tee underneath the jacket.
Rogen is the first to speak with a devilish grin, “Hiya, I am Collins’s brother. You can call me, Rogen.”
It’s my turn to speak, but I’m stunned by the noticeable differences between her and Dalton.
“Um, yes. Sorry, I have a bit of a scattered brain due to a long day at work.”
“Yes, Dalt did tell me that you’re a librarian. That must be… fun,” she says it like a bad thing.
Instead of getting angry, I simply chose to let it go. “Yes, I am a librarian.”
My brother decides to chime in and save us from awkwardness, “So, Rain, are you happy to be home?”
She seems to have perked up for that question, “Actually, fuck yeah. I have missed my city and my people. Don’t get me wrong… they were a lot more fine ass men there, but Edinburgh is home.”
She seems to have this certain sadness to her eyes and it’s obvious she doesn’t let out often.
“Well, do you want to come with me and Collins to the bar?” my brother asks.
“Hell yeah, I would love a Jack and Coke right about now.” She grins.
I think… just maybe, I might like my roommate after all.
Parker, Rain, and I all manage to find a booth while the boys go to get us something to drink.
Parker looks to Rain asks, “So, how the fuck have you been, you whore!”
“Just peachy, skank. I see my dumb brother hasn’t kicked you to the curb yet. Fuck, I thought I might get rid of your blonde arse,” she says with a straight face. I don’t know if this is a usual thing or maybe they fucking hate each other.
They both look to me and burst out laughing.
“We do actually love each other, but we like to be bitchy to one another for fun,” Rain states.
Parker quickly interjects, “Fuck yeah, I love your dumbass.”
The boys finally arrive bearing drinks and a few other things as well.
“Ladies, this is Callum. He and I worked together in my earlier years of real estate. Callum, this is my lovely girlfriend, Parker, my little sister, Rain, and our friend, Collins,” Dalton says with an adorable face.
Callum is every bit as gorgeous as Dalton in the three-piece suit. He has chestnut colored hair and from what I can tell very tan skin.
“Hallo, ladies. It is nice to meet you all,” he says with a crooked grin.
Dalton invites him to sit with us, and he accepts the invitation. Somehow, he is maneuvered into sitting next to me and Rogen. Callum seems sweet, but a totally self-absorbed. I notice out of the corner of my eye that someone is standing near me. But, I know who it is… I can sense him… my body aches for him. It’s like even my body is already so in tune with his, and that scares me shitless.