So Hot MC Boxset

by Blair Grey

  “It’s not your place to do that, Lucas.” Batting her eyelashes, she blinked back the tears.

  “It is my place. I am his MC brother and chaplain. It’s my business to help my brothers with their personal lives.” Kissing her on top of the head, I wanted her to know that no matter what, she could count on me to help her and her husband live a happy life and have a happy marriage. Even if I was in love with her, I still wanted her to have a good marriage. “You have me to talk to whenever you need to.”

  Raising her brows, an incredulous expression furrowed her brow. “You want me to talk to you when Ryder and I are having problems? And you think that you can be unbiased about things?”

  “I didn’t say that it would be easy, but I can put my feelings aside to help people. Even you, Hailey.” No matter how hard I’d tried to keep things uncomplicated, they’d turned out that way none the less.

  Thinking about other people’s problems helped me not to think about mine. So, putting Hailey’s marriage problems in front of my rage at the Angry Hogs made it easier for me to cope with things. It had always been that way for me – help other people with their problems and my own would sit quietly at the back of my mind, waiting patiently until I decided to face them.

  And when will that be, Lucas Hoss?

  Not tonight.

  Resting her head on my shoulder, she let out a heavy sigh. “I think you and I are a lot more alike than either of us has ever realized. You put other people’s problems ahead of your own and so have I. I knew Ryder thought me to be out of his league from the very beginning. So, when he began to stay out late, I figured it was his low self-esteem that he needed to cater to for a bit that had him staying away from me.”

  “And I tend to agree with that.” What I had a hard time believing was that she could’ve stayed so calm and cool with her husband staying out most nights to build his self-esteem. “So, what did you do to pass the time when Ryder was passing his time at the bar, Hailey?”

  Twisting her hands in her lap, she gulped. “I have never admitted this to anyone. Not a soul, Lucas. And I’m not completely sure I should tell you. I don’t really want Ryder to know what I did to take up my time. And what I did to help keep up my own self -esteem.”

  The girl was too nice to have done anything too bad. “I don’t want you to tell me unless you feel like you need to get it off your chest. And I won’t ever speak a word of anything you ever say to me. Unless you want me to.”

  Her cheeks went pink as she felt embarrassed by what she’d done. “I made up a fake Facebook account. I used a picture of a dark-haired woman that I doctored using photoshop.”

  “Hold on.” I tried to recall something I’d seen when Ryder was sitting at the bar before he got locked up. “A dark-haired woman on Facebook? And were you talking it up with a man who had a Pitbull as his profile pic? A blue-pit?”

  “Yeah. Jimmy from Texas. My fake name was Heidi from Alaska. We would flirt back and forth. He would tell me how pretty my eyes were, and I would ask when he would put up his real pic, instead of that dog.” She smiled with the memory. “It wasn’t anything really bad. Just playful, and it let me know that other men still found me interesting enough to type to anyway. Sometimes, we’d message back and forth until Ryder got home. Then we’d say goodnight. I never knew when it would end.” She shrugged. “But then it did.”

  “When was this?” I had an idea I knew when they’d stopped their online affair.

  “After Ryder got locked up, I was pretty upset. So, I stayed off my fake social media account for a few months. I was in no mood to flirt.” A shy smile pulled her lips up to one side. “But then after six months, I checked my fake account and saw that he hadn’t messaged me since the last time we’d talked. He hadn’t reached out to me at all.” Shrugging, she seemed okay with the outcome. “I figured it meant that it was time to let that go. Jimmy and Heidi were over. I shut down the account, not wanting to get into anything like that again. It had made me feel guilty after Ryder went to prison anyway. I thought that if I hadn’t spent my time doing that, then I might have been more upfront with my husband and our marriage wouldn’t have gotten so bad.”

  I’d kept Ryder’s secret for the last few years but now it was time to set it free. “What if I told you that you did spend those evenings with your husband, Hailey?”

  “What are you talking about, Lucas. Ryder was at the bar.” Laughing, she shook her head. “You can’t warp my mind psychologically. I don’t believe that I was vicariously spending time with my husband by flirting online with a stranger.”

  Fate was a funny thing. Up until then, I hadn’t realized just how funny it really was. “You were flirting it up with Ryder, Hailey. He was Jimmy. I saw him on his cell one night. The smile he wore told me he was being a bit intimate with someone on his phone. So, I thought I would say something to him about the lovely woman he’d left at home. When I sat down next to him, I saw the profile pic of a dark-haired woman named Heidi on the screen. I did talk to him about what he was doing, and he assured me that it was harmless.”

  Stunned, her mouth hung open. “Are you being serious right now?”

  “Completely.” It hurt a little to know that Ryder and Hailey really were meant to be together. “You found each other again through millions upon millions of people on social media. I think that means something, don’t you?”

  With a nod, she agreed. “I don’t know how we got so out of whack with that much going on between us.”

  Tracing one finger over the tat on my bicep, she looked at it as I watched her. “At least now you know that you were spending your time with him and he with you.”

  Slipping her hand up my shoulder, she ran her arm around my neck as she moved off my lap to straddle me. “Now I know.” She licked her lips, then trailed them along my neck. “And now I’m ready to get back to what we were doing before.” Nipping my ear, she hissed, “I’m so hot for you.”

  Although it seemed a little odd that she would suddenly switch gears, I had to admit that when she made the move, I had a hard time resisting. Tossing her onto her back on the bed, I rid her of her boots and pants then got rid of mine too.

  Pulling her knees up, she spread herself open for me, wiggling one finger at me. Her eyes sparkled as she grinned sexily. My mouth opened and words spilled out that I hadn’t intended to, “You’re my world, honeysuckle. You can make the entire world go away with nothing more than your kiss. And when you take me inside of you, you make me into someone else. Someone I like very much.” Pushing my hard cock into her hot, soaked cunt, I grunted with the intense sensation.

  Soft hands moved up my arms, then she pulled me down to her as our eyes locked. “I like the someone you are with me. And I like who I am with you too. So, fuck me hard and leave me in a heap of satisfied exhaustion.”

  “Your wish is my command, baby.” Thrusting hard, I loved the way her breath left her lungs with each hard move I made. Her legs wrapped around me tightly as I gave her what she’d asked for.

  It went beyond sex with us. The connection was deep, obvious, and natural. I couldn’t imagine being intimate with anyone else. And yet I knew that this would have to end. I knew that someday I would be fucking another woman. But it would never be the way it was with Hailey.

  Even as I pushed myself further to please her, I wondered if my fury at the Angry Hogs had something to do with eventually having to hand Hailey over to her husband.

  Sure, the bastards had disrespected me in too many ways now. But I’d learned how to put my anger in its place and deal with issues concerning my MC without letting emotions get in my way.

  It had been a very long time since I’d seen red the way I’d seen after I saw my home after they’d done their damage to it. My sanity was a thing I had held onto tightly after my parents’ deaths. Being the child of a narcissist had left me with many emotional problems – some I had dealt with – most I had shoved away to deal with another day. There was always this nagging thought that one day I
would lose my battle with sanity.

  Hailey’s nails bit into the flesh of my back as she orgasmed. “Yes! Oh, shit! Don’t stop. Give me more.”

  Gladly, I kept on giving her what she needed. Looking at her face as it glowed with ecstasy, I’d never felt it more than I did right then. Love.

  I had known that I had fallen in love with Hailey. What I hadn’t realized yet was that I had gone beyond the borders of being in love, to the interior where love held people together through all odds.

  Ryder was a man who had entrusted me with his woman. He was my bother. But Hailey was my soul.

  How can I hand over my soul? How can I ever let her go? How did I let this happen to us?

  Hailey was just as deep into this love as I was. Neither of us would be able to stop what we’d accidentally stumbled onto.

  As I felt her writhing beneath me, squealing with pleasure as another orgasm crested inside her body, I felt mine giving into hers. And my heart gave in as well.

  I was done lying to myself and Hailey. What we had was undeniable. She and Ryder might have been meant to be together, but so were we. Our love was every bit as real as theirs was.

  I will keep her. She is mine now.

  Our bodies came together, sending fireworks shooting through my body as she clung to me for dear life. “Fuck! God, Ryder! I love you so fucking much!”

  My body went cold, my heart stopped beating, and I lost the ability to breathe. Ryder?

  Chapter Twenty

  Hailey

  No!

  “Lucas – leather – babe – sweetie.” I had no idea how to start my apology but knew he deserved one. “I’m so sorry.”

  Rolling off me, he got out of bed. “No, don’t be sorry. Why should you apologize for loving your husband?”

  Pulling the blanket up to cover my naked tits, I could only shake my head. “No. I was making love with you, leather. I have no idea why I said that. It was totally uncalled for. I wasn’t even thinking about him. I swear to God that I wasn’t thinking about him. I was thinking about you.”

  “Yeah, okay.” After putting his jeans back on, he ran his hands through his hair. “I’m going to need some time.” He grabbed a pillow and the little blanket that I’d left hanging over the chair in my bedroom.

  “Lucas! Don’t go.” I couldn’t believe what I’d caused. “You can still sleep in here with me. I can’t stand the thought of you sleeping on the couch. Can’t you just forget that I said that? Please.” I didn’t want things to end between us. And it seemed like my one word was about to end it all.

  Pacing at the foot of the bed, he stared a hole in the floor. “I’ve been living in a fantasy world with you. I’ve been pretending that this is real. I’ve been pretending that love is real.”

  “Love is real.” I put my hand over my heart. “This is real. What we have is real.”

  Shaking his head, he groaned, “No, it’s not.”

  I couldn’t let him leave my room, so I jumped out of bed and went to him, trying to run my arms around him. “Lucas, please.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. I just wanted to go back in time five minutes and this time I would just keep my fucking mouth shut.

  He held me back – away from him. “Look, it’s not your fault. You love your husband. We were in his bed and you put me in his place. It’s not unheard of, Hailey.”

  Hailey? No, honeysuckle or baby or anything?

  “No, Lucas, I knew it was you who I was with. It was you who made me feel like that. You, Lucas. Don’t let that little weird slip up change anything between us.” I tried to pull my hands out of his so I could wrap them around his neck. “Come back to bed. I can’t sleep without you.”

  He wouldn’t allow me to put my arms around him at all as he held my hands tightly in his. “I’m not getting back into that bed. And you’re not coming to sleep on the couch with me either. I know you didn’t mean to say that, but your subconscious did. And it’s time that we stop pretending that we can ever be anything real. I am to care for you and take care of your needs.”

  “And you’ve done that so well too, leather. We’ve got one more month. Let’s not waste it.” Desperation began to fill me as he wouldn’t look me in the eyes.

  “Hailey, I’ve got to be honest with you.” He finally looked me in the eyes. “My mind had gone to a place it never should’ve.”

  “Where did it go, leather? Tell me.” I held his eyes, praying he wouldn’t pull them away from mine again. “Please. I want to know. What were you thinking?”

  His voice came out deeper than usual as he whispered, “That we could be together even after Ryder gets out. That I would keep you.”

  Biting my lip, it was me who averted looking into his eyes. “Keep me?”

  My husband might have been neglecting me before he was framed but I had found out that the man I’d been messing around with online was actually Ryder. We had something amazing between us. Not that Lucas and I didn’t.

  “I can see by your silence that you weren’t thinking that at all. And you shouldn’t be thinking like that.” His shoulders slumped. “You are taken. It was foolish of me to think that way.”

  “This is insanely hard.” I loved the man who I’d hurt. “I want this to continue, yet I know that it can’t. At least not past this last month before he’s released. But I do love you. Please don’t think any other way.”

  “Yeah, well, I think we both need to pull that word back. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that this doesn’t hurt like hell.” Releasing my hands, he turned to leave. “I’ve got to figure out a way to put my walls back up.”

  All I wanted to do was crumble into a puddle on the floor. “Lucas, don’t do that.”

  “I knew this was too good to be true. Things like this always are. It’s okay. It’s not your fault. Life sucks and then we die. Happiness is a thing that can’t last.” His lips pulled to one side as he looked at me again. “Not that I’ll regret a thing we did. But it had to stop.”

  The way my heart ached told me that I couldn’t let him go. “Lucas, I don’t want it to stop.”

  “Neither do I. But I can’t keep having sex with you without it feeling like each time we’re getting closer and closer. You don’t love me. Not the way you love him.” His chest rose and fell as he took a deep breath. “Don’t try to lie to me about that either. It’s out there now.” His broad shoulders shrugged. “And that’s how it should be. It should be out there all the time that you are in love with the man you belong with.”

  A huge part of me knew I also belonged with him. “We have this month. Are you saying that you’ll be here, watching over me and nothing more than that now?”

  “Honestly, Hailey, I don’t know what I’m saying right now. All I know for sure is that what we have isn’t real.”

  “It is too!” I wasn’t going to let him belittle our love that way. “You’re not faking, and neither am I.”

  He laughed quietly. “If it was real, then you wouldn’t have called me by his name. I don’t want you to feel bad about that. Things weren’t great in your marriage and then you were all alone for a couple of years and then you had me. My mistake was thinking that I could fall for you and that everything would end up okay. It was stupid of me and I should’ve known better.”

  I could see that he was mad at himself. But he was forgetting that I had lots to do with our situation. “Lucas, how were we supposed to stop falling for each other?”

  Once again, he laughed but this time he threw his hands in the air. “We didn’t fall for each other. I fell for you then you thought you fell for me. Only I was merely a replacement for your husband. You used me, Hailey. I know you didn’t mean to and I’m not angry with you. It’s not like you realized what you were doing.”

  I had never used a man in my life, and I wasn’t about to accept that about myself now. “I did not use you. I wanted you. I cared about you. And then I did fall in love with you. Fuck, Lucas. I do love you. And I love how we fit together so well in all ways.�
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  A sudden glare met my eyes. “And what will you have me do when Ryder is out and living back under this roof, sleeping in that bed, and holding you the way I will never stop craving to?”

  Suddenly, I felt as naked as I was as I stood there, looking at him without knowing what the hell to say to his question. Turning to go to my closet to get a robe, I muttered, “As if I’ll stop craving you.”

  “Best to stop this now. Best to admit that there was never anything more than a mutual attraction between us. Best to admit that love was just a word we decided to use to make this seem real.” He eyed me as I slipped the pink robe around my body.

  “So, this is it then? That was the last time we’ll ever make love? That was the last of everything between us?” I wasn’t happy even a little. “And if I find myself in need of some sexual attention, then what?”

  “I think you’ve had enough to last you until your old man gets out.” He acted like it would be easy to forgo sex with each other.

  “And what about you, Lucas? What will you do to fulfill your sexual needs?” I would lose my mind if he began sleeping with other women.

  His head shook as he frowned. “My needs have been filled enough as well. My heart is raw. My mind is a wreck. Being with any woman right now would be nothing more than a huge mistake. I’ve lost track of reality. I’ve got to get back on track before I fuck up royally.”

  “And how would you fuck up, Lucas?” I was dying to know.

  “Stealing you away is how I would fuck up. Taking you and just leaving this all behind is how I would ruin both of our lives. If they allowed us to live,” his words bothered me.

  “What does that mean?” I didn’t think for a minute that anyone would have to die if I did decide to leave Ryder for Lucas. Not that I’d put much thought into doing that.