by Karen Lynch
“Do you want to move closer to me so I can warm you?” I smiled in the dark. “I know that sounds like a line, but I promise to behave. I won’t be able to sleep knowing you’re cold.”
She thought about it and wriggled until she was pressed against me. She turned on her side and curled into my chest.
“Thanks,” she murmured.
“Anytime,” I managed to say. Having her so close was heaven and hell at the same time. Her scent teased my nose, but two sleeping bags separated us. I’d kill to feel her body pressed to mine without a barrier and to sleep with her in my arms.
It took me a while to doze off. When I woke again, the rain had lessened but the air was colder. That hadn’t woken me. Emma’s shivering had.
“Hey.” I put an arm around her to draw her closer. “Why didn’t you tell me you were still cold?”
“D-didn’t want to wake you up. Remind me to bring thermal underwear next time.”
Her attempt at humor would have been funny if her teeth weren’t chattering. I rubbed her back vigorously through the bag, and she tried to press closer to me.
“This isn’t working,” I said against her still-damp hair. “We need to share a bag.”
Her head came up. “Share a sleeping bag? But you’re not wearing anything.”
“I have underwear on.”
She swallowed hard. “We won’t fit in one bag.”
“No, but we can zip them together. That way it won’t be too crowded.”
I held my breath as she thought it over. I’d be lying if I said I wanted this only for her. My body stirred at the possibility of her skin touching mine, her soft curves pressed against me.
“Okay.”
We got out of the sleeping bags and I quickly connected them, making one big bag. She settled in first, and then I joined her, zipping the bag on my other side. We lay on our backs with six inches separating us. It was almost too warm for me, but I could still feel Emma shivering.
I sighed. “Don’t hit me, okay?”
She sucked in a sharp breath when I reached for her and closed the distance between us. Turning us both on our sides, I fit her snugly against me, spooning her. Her body was stiff for a minute, but she didn’t resist or pull away. Finally, she relaxed and a soft sigh escaped her.
“You’re like a furnace,” she breathed, sticking her icy feet between my calves.
I couldn’t speak. I’d imagined what it would be like to hold her like this, but nothing could have prepared me for the intense need that clawed at my gut. All I could think of was turning her around and kissing her like I had at the lighthouse. Only this time, we wouldn’t stop.
She breathed deeply. “Why do you smell like that sometimes? It’s really nice, whatever it is.”
My mouth grew moist, and I had to swallow several times. In my current state, the tent was probably full of my bonding scent. Only a male’s mate liked his scent, and it was supposed to heighten her need for him. I had no idea if it had the same affect on humans, but the mere thought sent a new wave of desire through me.
Emma shifted, and her backside rubbed against me. I froze as my body responded. Ah, hell. There was no way she couldn’t feel that. Her sharp inhale confirmed it.
“Sorry.” I whispered, not daring to move. “It’s impossible to be this close to you and not be turned on.”
“Oh,” she said breathlessly.
“You’re safe with me. I’d never do anything you didn’t want.”
“I know.”
We lay there, unmoving. I wanted her, but I wouldn’t take more than she offered. If she only allowed me to hold her tonight, I’d do it gladly because it was a big step for us. The fact that she hadn’t pulled away from me gave me hope.
Minutes passed. Emma stayed in my arms, but her body wasn’t relaxed. Finally, I couldn’t take not knowing any longer.
“You feel so tense. Do you want me to move away from you?”
“No.”
My pulse sped up. Emboldened, I stroked her arm. “What can I do to help you relax?”
She sighed, and her body softened against me. “This.”
I trailed my hand down her arm to her much smaller hand and threaded my fingers loosely through hers. Her thumb caressed mine, and heat shot up my arm to my chest. Impulsively, I pressed a light kiss to her shoulder through her T-shirt. She surprised me by lifting our joined hands to her mouth and kissing the back of mine. I nearly groaned at the feel of her lips against my skin.
I nuzzled the back of her neck with my nose, daring to drop a brief kiss there. A tremble went through her, and her fingers tightened around mine. My lips grazed a spot below her ear before I nipped lightly at her ear lobe and soothed it with a brush of my tongue.
Emma gasped softly and turned her face toward me. I kissed the corner of her mouth tenderly, though I was starved for the taste of her. If she didn’t let me kiss her soon, I’d go mad.
As if she’d read my mind, she released my hand and shifted until she was facing me on her side. Wordlessly, I cupped the back of her head with my hand and brought her mouth to mine. I kissed her slowly, my lips relearning the soft fullness of hers. Her tongue coaxed my lips open, and it was all I could do not to groan out loud as she explored my mouth hungrily, stoking the fire blazing in my belly.
I rolled onto my back, taking her with me. Gripping her hips, I lifted her up until she straddled me, giving her full control. My hands slid inside her shirt, running over the soft skin of her back, and she made a soft, happy sound against my mouth. It was all the encouragement I needed, and I let my fingers skim over her ribs to cup one of her breasts. God, she felt amazing, and I couldn’t wait to explore every inch of her.
She pressed against my hand, seeking my touch, and I growled my pleasure. I deepened the kiss as my excitement mounted. She wanted me, and I was going to make her mine. My mate.
A sliver of reason pierced the haze of desire in my brain. Emma didn’t know we were imprinted or that having sex would make us mates. I wanted her so much it hurt, but I couldn’t do that to her. I couldn’t take away her freedom to say whether or not she wanted me as her mate. I had to tell her the truth about us.
I pulled out of the kiss as my arms went around her. My voice was rough with need when I spoke.
“Emma, I have to tell you some–”
“No.”
She pushed away from me, breaking my loose hold on her, and rolled away as far as the sleeping bag would allow. I watched her curl into a ball, her heavy breaths echoing mine, and I wanted nothing more than to reach out to her.
“I can’t,” she whispered hoarsely. “I want to so much, but I can’t.”
The pain in her voice cooled my ardor. “It’s okay. We don’t have to do anything.”
Her body shook. “I didn’t mean to lead you on.”
“You didn’t,” I said softly. “I made the first move. I should have asked if you wanted it before I started anything.”
“I did. It’s just…” She took a deep breath. “I care about you, but I can’t be with you.”
The joy of hearing she cared for me was dulled by the words that followed it. An ache started up in my chest. “Is it because of what I am?”
“No.” She rolled to face me, still keeping her distance. “Do you think I’d be here with you if I cared about you being a werewolf?”
“Then why? What is it?” The pain of rejection was like a knife in my gut, and my wolf wanted to howl in despair.
“It’s…” Her voice broke, and she put a hand over her mouth. “I can’t talk about this. Not now. Please.”
I needed answers, but I couldn’t push her when she was so upset. We had to talk, though, and soon. We cared about each other, and my wolf had chosen her. In my heart, she was my mate, and I couldn’t bear it if she walked away. I had to prove to her that what we had was stronger than any reservations she might have.
“We’ll talk tomorrow.”
She sniffed. “Yes.”
“Don’t cry,” I p
leaded. “Whatever it is, we’ll work it out.”
I extended my hand to cover hers, and I frowned when I felt how cold she was. We were back to where we’d started.
I tugged on her hand. “Come here. Let me keep you warm, at least.”
She shook her head. “I don’t…”
“I promise nothing else will happen tonight. You’re never going to be able to sleep if you’re shivering.”
She let me pull her toward me. This time, instead of turning around so I could spoon her, she curled into my side with her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her, holding her against me.
I lay awake for a long time after she fell asleep, thinking about what I’d say to her tomorrow and wondering how she’d react to the news. It was best to wait until we went home so we could have privacy. This was not a conversation I wanted to have an audience for. First, I had to tell Emma about the imprint and that I was pretty sure I was in love with her. Then I had to convince her to give us a chance.
I heaved a sigh and hugged her closer. She snuggled against me, murmuring incoherently. At least she was warm and she wasn’t having one of those awful nightmares. My gut told me they had something to do with her withdrawal from me, and I wanted to kill the person who’d made her suffer like that.
I kissed the top of her head. “They’ll never hurt you again. I promise. They’ll have to go through me first.”
* * *
“I don’t believe this!”
Shouting ripped me from the great dream I was having, and I lifted my head to meet Emma’s startled brown eyes. I was lying on my side with an arm across her stomach and a leg over hers. There wasn’t an inch of space between us.
Before I could say good morning, the screeching started again.
“What the fuck is this, Roland?”
I scowled at the girl framed in the doorway of the tent. “What are you doing here, Lex?”
Her mouth twisted into an ugly snarl. “What am I doing? What the hell is that human doing here? You won’t give me or any of the other females in the pack a second glance. You ignore your own kind to sleep with this human bitch.”
I sat up, blocking Emma from her sight. “Watch your mouth when you talk about her.”
Lex sneered. “Why? Am I scaring your little plaything?”
“Get out,” I growled at her.
“Oh, I get it. Poor little human thinks she’s your girlfriend, and she has no idea she’ll never be anything to you but a good time. Did you tell her you’ll dump her as soon as you choose a proper mate? No female will tolerate her mate coming home stinking of human. I sure as hell won’t.”
I’d had all I was going to take from this girl. I climbed out of the sleeping bag, making sure to cover Emma before I stood. Ignoring Lex’s eyes on me, I snatched up my damp jeans and pulled them on.
Lex jumped aside when I stormed barefoot from the tent to confront her. Behind her, Pete, Shannon, Paul, and April watched, along with Julie, who didn’t look happy to be here.
I narrowed my gaze on Lex. “You were not invited here, and you need to leave before I say or do something I’m going to regret. I told you once before that who I see and where I go are none of your business. They will never be your business.”
She crossed her arms. “If your wolf chooses me –”
“Jesus Christ! My wolf is never going to imprint on you. Never. You need to get that through your head and go look for someone else to be your mate because I…”
I took a deep breath to rein in my anger. I’d almost let it slip that I’d imprinted on Emma. I needed to tell Emma that news before the rest of the pack heard it. She was too important to me to let someone like Lex come between us.
I strode to the middle tent to get dry clothes from my backpack. It was safe to say our camping trip was over, at least for Emma and me. I was going to take her home so we could talk and get things sorted out between us.
Pete stopped me before I entered the tent. “I guess we’re leaving.”
The sun was out, and it was going to be another nice day. It wasn’t fair for the others to have to leave early because of me.
“You guys stay. I’ll take Emma home in the boat, and you can take the trail.” In wolf form, it was an easy run from here to the Knolls.
He lowered his voice. “Is Emma alright? Did you tell her?”
“I’m telling her today.”
I went into the tent and found my backpack. As I pulled my clean jeans from the bag, a loud growl came from outside, followed by shouts and a small scream.
Emma.
I ran from the tent to see a snarling white wolf advancing on Emma, who stood frozen near the cold fire pit.
A growl tore from my throat as I shifted, shredding the jeans I was wearing. In seconds, I was on top of Lex, pinning her to the ground.
Touch her and you die.
Get off me. She struggled, but she’d never be able to move me. You’re acting insane, like she’s your…
She sniffed the air. No fucking way! That’s impossible. You did not imprint on that little bitch.
I growled again. I told you not to call her that.
“Oh, my God,” April squeaked.
I looked up to find the others staring at me, their noses twitching as they smelled the bonding scent that was probably coming off me in waves now. The way Shannon and April kept glancing at Emma told me they knew exactly who it was for.
“Roland?”
I lifted my head to look behind me at Emma, whose face was slowly draining of color. Her brown eyes met mine, and I saw her shock and confusion get replaced by recognition.
“You?” she choked out. “It was you all along.”
Chapter 20
Emma
Roland was the black wolf.
I stared at the wolf as my mind tried to accept what my eyes told me was true. I’d watched him shift – I didn’t need more proof than that – but still I couldn’t bring myself to believe it. Because that would mean he’d been lying to me for weeks, and Roland wouldn’t deceive me that way.
Plaything. That’s what Lex had called me. Was that all I was to him, someone for him to have fun with until he chose a werewolf mate? I thought of the way he’d kissed and touched me last night, and how close I’d come to giving myself to him. He’d been so gentle, so loving, and I’d let my heart believe he cared for me because I wanted it so much.
The wolf – Roland – released Lex and took a step toward me.
“No.”
I backed up automatically, not out of fear, but because I couldn’t bear to be close to him now. No matter his intentions last night, he had lied to me, and that hurt me more. How many times had I seen the wolf whom I’d come to think of as a friend? I’d fed him, talked to him, slept in the same apartment with him. He’d made me feel safe, and I’d started to confide in him.
His unique scent was strong in the air. I loved that scent, but now it was a reminder of what a fool I’d been. No wonder the wolf smelled like Roland – they were the same person.
My chest squeezed painfully and tears burned behind my eyes, but I would not cry in front of these people, especially Lex.
I’d recognized her, too. She was the white wolf who’d menaced me that day at the lighthouse, the same day I met the black wolf. She’d threatened me the night of the party to stay away from Roland because she wanted him for herself. She no longer had to worry about me being in her way.
I rubbed my arms against the early morning chill. The sun hadn’t reached this part of the cove yet, and I was still wearing the thin T-shirt and capris I’d slept in. Everything else I had was damp.
“Here, Emma.” Shannon came toward me slowly as if she feared I’d bolt. She glanced at Roland as she held out a man’s windbreaker. “It’s Peter’s.”
“Thanks.” I took the coat and put it on. The material was thin, but I felt warmer immediately. It fell to my knees and I had to roll up the sleeves, but appearance was the last thing I cared about.
April
was right behind Shannon, her expression a mix of shock and concern. “Why don’t the three of us go down to the other end of the cove? It’s sunny down there and a lot warmer.”
I nodded and went with them, deliberately avoiding the amber gaze of the black wolf who watched me. For once, I was glad the wolf couldn’t speak because I wasn’t ready to talk to Roland yet. I needed to pull myself together a bit more to prepare for that.
We walked until we found some flat rocks in the sun. Neither girl spoke at first, and I got the impression they were surprised by all of this, too. It would hurt too much to find out they’d been in on Roland’s deception, but I had to know.
“Did you know Roland was the black wolf?” I asked, looking at Shannon first then April.
April’s brow furrowed. “Yes. You didn’t?”
“No.” I bent to pick up a pretty blue rock and rolled it around in my hands. “He never told me.”
The two girls shared a look I couldn’t decipher.
“Have you seen him – the wolf – a lot?” Shannon asked.
“Yes.” I told them how I’d first met the wolf in the cove and how he’d been coming to my apartment since Roland heard about the bald man.
“Why would he keep that from me?” I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “Is this some kind of game to him?”
“No,” Shannon said earnestly. “I don’t know why he didn’t tell you, but it’s not a game. It’s easy to see he cares a lot about you.”
I tossed the rocks at the water. “I thought he cared, too. Now, I don’t know what to believe.”
“I take it this is your first relationship with a werewolf,” April said.
“We’re not in a relationship.”
She smiled kindly. “For argument’s sake, let’s say you are. What you probably don’t know is that our males don’t think like human men when it comes to their females. They’re a possessive lot, but not in a bad way. They’re loving and affectionate, but they’re also overly protective. All of that adds up to a male who can be a total bonehead sometimes and who does stupid things that make sense only to him. But his heart is in the right place.”
