by Karen Lynch
“I get what you’re saying, but I’m not a female werewolf, and I’m not Roland’s anything. Like Lex said, he’ll choose a proper werewolf mate.”
Shannon’s nostrils flared. “Lex is jealous, and she’ll do anything to get Roland. Don’t listen to a word that comes out of her mouth.”
I shrugged despondently. “But it’s true. Even if he does care for me, it won’t matter in the end. It’s my own fault for letting it go this far. I knew I’d get hurt if I let myself feel anything for him.”
April looked ready to cry. “Oh, Emma.”
Shannon’s nose twitched, and she looked at something behind us. I knew it was Roland before he spoke.
“Emma, can we talk?”
I almost said no, but we’d have to do this sometime. It was best to get it over with so I could put this behind me. Last night, lying in his arms after I’d stopped us from going too far, I’d decided to tell him today that we shouldn’t see each other for a while. I was too weak when it came to him, and that couldn’t happen again.
I nodded without looking at him.
“We’ll be up by the tents if you need us,” Shannon said. She and April stood and headed up the beach.
I stared at the water as Roland sat on the rock Shannon had vacated. He was close enough to reach out and touch, but not too close that I felt crowded. I could feel him looking at me, but I couldn’t meet his eyes.
“Last night, I thought I figured out how to talk to you about this, and now I don’t know what to say.”
“How about the truth?” I asked, unable to keep the anger and hurt out of my tone.
He let out a deep sigh. “I guess I deserve that.”
I didn’t respond.
“Before I go any further, I want you to know that none of what Lex said is true. I’ve been attracted to you almost from the moment we met, but I never saw you as just a good time. In fact, I tried not to think of you as anything but a friend, because you’re Sara’s cousin and I didn’t want to hurt you.”
He kicked at a small rock. “You know about werewolf imprinting, but what you don’t know is how much I dreaded it happening to me. I knew it would eventually, but I wanted to go to college and do other things before I settled down. When I got old enough for my wolf to imprint, I did everything I could to stop it from happening. I avoided unmated females, and I only dated human girls. I never dated them for long because I didn’t want either of us to get attached. Looking back, it was selfish of me, but I never wanted to hurt anyone.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I already knew there was no future for us. Hearing him say it only twisted the knife deeper.
“I want you to know where my head was when I met you, and why I tried not to feel anything for you but friendship. But the more I got to know you, the more I fell for you.”
My breath caught, and I found myself looking into his troubled blue eyes.
“After I saw you in the cove near the lighthouse, I talked to Sara and she hinted that something happened to you to make you afraid of werewolves. I figured that was why you didn’t warm up to us at first, and why you pushed me away when I got close. When I found you down by the old mine, I could smell your fear, and all I wanted to do was reassure you. I should have left, but my wolf liked how you talked to him – to us. He wanted to be there with you, and so did I. I didn’t realize what was happening until…”
He stood and walked to the water. When he returned, he sat on his haunches in front of me, so close I could feel his body heat against my knees. My stomach fluttered when he took my cold hands in his.
“I didn’t know it was possible, and I was shocked when it happened. But it felt so right, and I was glad it was you.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked hoarsely, trying to tug my hands from his.
Naked emotions filled his eyes, stealing my breath.
“Emma, I imprinted on you.”
I stopped trying to pull away and stared at him. I couldn’t have heard him right.
His grip on my hands tightened as if he was afraid I would run. He needn’t have worried. I couldn’t form words, let alone run.
“My wolf chose you for our mate. I never knew a werewolf could imprint on a human until it happened to me. My grandmother says my wolf knows my heart, and he knew I wanted you.”
My heart thudded. He wanted me? He chose me?
He rubbed his thumbs gently over the back of my wrists. “Say something, please.”
I said the first thing that came to mind. “When?”
“The night of the lighthouse party. At first, I thought I’d imprinted on one of the female wolves there. I didn’t even consider it could be you.” His eyes softened. “And then I saw you walking to the beach with Scott, and I knew.”
I remembered sitting by the fire with Scott and wondering where Roland had disappeared to. Then he’d found me behind the lighthouse.
“Is that why you kissed me? Because of your wolf?” I asked quietly, not sure I wanted to hear the answer.
Something fierce and carnal blazed in his eyes, and his voice deepened. “Trust me, I wanted to kiss you before that night. After I imprinted on you, I couldn’t think of anything but touching you and putting my scent all over you so every other male would know you were mine.”
My breath quickened at his words, and the air around us was suddenly infused with his delicious scent. It filled me with longing and made me want to climb onto his lap and pick up where we’d left off last night.
“I wanted to go to you as soon as I imprinted, but it took me a while to get my emotions and my wolf under control. It’s a good thing Paul was with me because I almost shifted in front of a bunch of humans.”
I couldn’t think straight with him so close. “Do you mind sitting again? I…need a little space.”
Hurt flitted across his face, but he released my hands and did as I asked.
I toyed with the zipper on my borrowed coat. “The party was weeks ago. Why didn’t you tell me all of this before now?”
His gaze held mine. “After you ran away from me, I didn’t know what to do. I was going to give you a few days, and then Sara told me about the man following you. I tried to talk to you that night, but you wouldn’t let me. It felt like you were pushing me away, and I didn’t know if it was because I was a werewolf or you just didn’t care for me that way.”
“Is that why you lied to me about the wolf? Why didn’t you tell me that was you?” My anger resurfaced when I thought of all the hours I’d spent with the wolf, never knowing it was Roland. He’d watched me cry after my nightmares, and he’d even slept in my room.
He scrubbed his face with a hand. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. I was so worried when I heard about that man, and I wanted to keep you safe. But it was more than that. A new imprint makes a male a little crazy if he doesn’t see his female. I had to be near you, even if I was outside your building. You were more comfortable with my wolf, so I shifted when I got there.”
I pressed my lips together and stared at the ground near my feet. “I talked to you and told you things. I feel like an idiot.”
“Don’t ever think that. This is my fault. I didn’t expect you to start inviting me upstairs, and I should have said no, but I wanted to be with you in any way I could. I never meant to deceive you. I stopped coming to you as the wolf this week, because I wanted to be with you as me, not my wolf.”
A dull throbbing started in my head. This was too much to absorb all at once. I rubbed my temples and tried to process it all.
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
He exhaled noisily. “After your scare at the Attic, I decided to wait until we knew you were safe. You were so upset, and I didn’t want to add to it. After things got a little out of control last night, I knew I couldn’t wait any longer to tell you. I was going to tell you everything today when we went home.”
I stood and walked the dozen or so yards to the end of the beach, trying to think of what to say to him. I was ecs
tatic he wanted me, but I was also terrified. Shannon had said mates were for life, and it was normal for werewolves to mate at our age. I’d never been in love before, but I was pretty sure what I felt for him was love, and I wanted to be with him more than anything. But I couldn’t give him that kind of commitment. Not yet. There was still so much I didn’t know about him or his life in the pack. I hadn’t even known what his wolf looked like until today.
And then there was my secret. When he learned about my past, he wouldn’t want to look at me, let alone take me as his mate. But I had to tell him. We could have no future if our relationship was built on lies.
“Emma?”
I closed my eyes at the hope and worry lacing his voice as he came up behind me. I wanted so badly to turn around and throw myself into his strong arms. Why couldn’t it be that easy? Why couldn’t I fall in love without fear of my past taking everything from me? Hadn’t it taken enough from me already?
Steeling myself, I faced him. The pain in his eyes told me he expected me to tell him I didn’t want to be his mate. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him, but I felt too overwhelmed to make promises I wasn’t sure I could keep. I needed time to let it all sink in and figure out what to do next.
“I know we planned to stay here today, but could you take me home now?”
He nodded sadly.
I was grateful he didn’t push me to stay, but I hated to see him hurting. I closed the distance between us and slipped my arms around his waist, laying my cheek against his chest. His arms came around me, and I could hear his rapid heartbeat beneath my ear.
“I just need to be alone for a while, okay? There are some things I have to work out.”
“Things from your past.”
“Yes.” I bit my lip, hoping he didn’t ask questions I couldn’t answer yet.
His chest expanded and fell heavily. He tightened his embrace, and then he released me and stepped back, wearing a resigned expression. It was better than the hurt I’d seen there a few minutes ago.
“Let’s get your stuff, and I’ll take you home.”
“Thanks.”
We started back to the campsite, and I was relieved to see that Lex had gone. I expected to find a fire going for breakfast, but instead, I found the others packing up. It took me a good ten minutes to convince them they didn’t have to leave just because I wanted to go. They kept sneaking looks at me like I was a fragile doll about to break, and I was relieved when Roland cast off the boat and we waved goodbye to our friends.
Roland didn’t try to talk to me on the trip back to town. At the wharf, he helped me out and we walked quietly to the waterfront.
I looked at my building on the far end of the street, and I suddenly dreaded the thought of being there alone. But I couldn’t ask him to come in, and there was no one else to call.
I gave him a small smile. “Thanks for bringing me home.”
“You’re not home yet. I’ll walk you to the door.”
“I think it’s better if you don’t.” If he came to my door, he’d ask to come in, and I didn’t know if I was strong enough to say no.
He took my hand before I walked away. “Can I come see you tomorrow night?”
“I… think I need a few days.” My chest started to ache again at the dejection on his face. “I’ll text you.”
“Okay.”
He let go of my hand, and I walked away from him. I didn’t look back to see if he was still there because I couldn’t stand to see him hurting. I didn’t want to think about how much pain he’d be in when he found out his chosen mate used to be the thing he abhorred the most in this world.
The last thing I expected to find when I reached my place was a motorcycle parked in my spot and Chris sitting on the top step, playing with his phone.
He stopped whatever he was doing and gave me a stern look. “You have some explaining to do, young lady.”
“What?” For a second, I thought he was referring to Roland and me, but then I realized he couldn’t know about that. And why would he even care?
“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you since yesterday. I called you half a dozen times and you didn’t answer your phone, so I drove out here to make sure you were okay.
I put a hand to my mouth. “Oh Lord, I forgot to take my phone with me.”
“I know. I saw it on the kitchen counter when I broke in here last night.” He stood and came down the steps toward me. “By the way, you need milk. I drank the last of yours when I ate that pie in the fridge.”
I blinked, trying to keep up with him. “You broke into my place and ate my pie?”
“I skipped dinner to come here, and I got hungry.” He took my backpack from me. “When I saw that nothing had been disturbed, I assumed you were out with friends. I called Roland’s mother, and she told me he was on an overnight camping trip with you. I figured I was here, so I might as well wait.”
I climbed the steps and opened the door. Chris followed me inside, setting my backpack down in the hallway. I caught a glimpse of myself in the hall mirror and grimaced. Sleeping with wet hair did not make for a good look the next morning.
Chris smirked at me over my shoulder. “Looks like one of us had a fun night.”
“You have no idea.” I turned to him. “Why were you trying to get ahold of me? Do you have news about that man?”
“Better. I have him.”
I stared at him. “What do you mean? Did you…?”
“Kill him? No.” He checked his phone. “In fact, he’ll be here in about twenty minutes.”
“H-he’s coming here?” I knew Chris wouldn’t let anyone hurt me, but that didn’t stop a tendril of fear from coiling in my stomach.
“He and I had a long talk yesterday, and I explained to him that it’s not wise to stalk a girl with friends like yours.”
I fingered my messy hair. “So, you threatened the man to get him to leave me alone?”
“Not quite. Why don’t you go shower and change before he gets here?” He wrinkled his nose. “No offense, but you smell like wet dog.”
I crossed my arms. “You did not just say that.”
His eyes sparkled, and he tapped his nose. “Just be glad you don’t have demon smell. Sometimes, it can be a curse.”
“I know.”
For a moment, neither of us knew what to say. I usually didn’t talk much about my time as a vampire, even to the people who’d been there the night I was healed.
He gave me a small smile. “Go get cleaned up. Your visitor will be here soon, and all your questions will be answered.”
I hurried to do as he’d said, my mind spinning with questions and speculations about the man coming to see me. Chris would have done a thorough background search on the guy, and he wouldn’t let the man near me if he was dangerous. But if he wasn’t out to hurt me, why had he been following me?
I’d just finished drying my hair when the doorbell rang. Chris answered it, and my pulse jumped when I heard the murmur of male voices. Taking a deep breath, I went out to meet my visitor.
Chris and the man were in the living room, and they stood when I entered the room. I held my breath when I found myself face-to-face with the man from Portland. Up close, he didn’t look threatening or scary, but maybe that was because of Chris’s presence.
Chris came to stand beside me. “Emma, I’d like you to meet Mark Rowan.”
“Hello,” I said.
The man smiled. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Emma. You have no idea how long I’ve been looking for you.”
I glanced from him to Chris. Looking for me? He’d known where I was for weeks.
Chris led me over to the couch and sat beside me. “Mark, why don’t you start by telling Emma what you do for a living.”
Mark pulled a business card from his pocket and held it out to me. I took it with some trepidation and read the words on the front.
Mark Rowan Private Investigator
I looked at Mark as he sat across from us. “What would a private
investigator want with me?”
He crossed his legs and rested his hands on his knee. “That depends on whether or not you are who I think you are. Your friend would neither confirm nor deny your identity for me.”
I shifted uncomfortably under his sharp gaze. “Who do you think I am?”
“At first, I believed you were the daughter of a woman I’ve been searching for.” He uncrossed his legs and leaned forward. “Now I believe, as incredible as it sounds, that you are the woman I’ve been looking for.”
“E-excuse me?” My stomach clenched and sweat beaded my upper lip. I had the urge to run, and I might have if Chris hadn’t been there.
Mark smiled. “Let me explain. I was hired five years ago, by a woman looking for answers about her sister who went missing when they were children. No trace was ever found of the sister despite an exhaustive police search. My client doesn’t believe her sister is dead because of various tips they’ve received over the years that indicate the girl is still alive.”
I swallowed dryly, unable to speak.
He reached for a brown envelope I hadn’t noticed on the chair beside him. Opening the envelope, he withdrew several photographs.
“My client’s name is Marie Chase. This is her sister Emma, who disappeared from Raleigh, North Carolina when she was seventeen. As you can see, Emma Chase bears an uncanny resemblance to you. You could be twins.”
I took the photographs with trembling hands and was immediately sucked into the past. The first one was my school photo, the same one I’d seen on the missing children’s websites. It was the last picture taken of me before I’d disappeared.
The second photo was of Marie and me at Virginia Beach that summer. It was her tenth birthday, and we were dressed up to go to dinner. My fingers traced her round smiling face as my vision blurred.
“Marie,” I whispered as a tear splashed on the glossy photo.
“I’m sorry to upset you, but your reaction confirms my suspicions. You’re Emma Chase.”
I nodded jerkily, still staring at the photo. Marie and I had been close, despite our age difference. What she and my parents must have suffered when I went missing. I’d lived through hell, but I couldn’t imagine what I would have done if Marie had gone missing instead of me. To never know if she was alive or dead or out there suffering. It would have destroyed me.
