Haven

by Karen Lynch

  “I’ve hardly written a word since I came home. Every morning when I wake up, I think it was a dream. And then I look at the pictures of us on my phone, and it feels like I’m going to explode from happiness.”

  “Same here.”

  She sighed. “One night wasn’t enough to catch up. I want to come up for a real visit. Or you could come here. I know you’re not ready to see Mom and Dad, so it can be just the two of us.”

  “I’ll think about it.” My life was too up in the air at the moment to make promises.

  Half an hour after I hung up from talking to Marie, Shannon called. She’d heard from Peter that I’d been in an accident, but it didn’t sound like she knew about Lex’s involvement. I wasn’t up to talking about it, so I assured her I was okay and promised to talk to her in a few days.

  Jordan took the phone from me when I hung up, and she announced it was time for a nap, despite my assertion that I didn’t need one. She gave me more gunna paste and tucked me into bed with orders to stay there.

  “You’re worse than Nurse Ratched,” I groused as she pulled the covers over me.

  She let out an evil laugh. “Maybe I’ll add nurse to my résumé. What do you think?”

  “I think the other warriors should be very afraid.”

  The smell of food woke me hours later, and I was surprised to see how long I’d slept. I found Jordan in the kitchen, taking plates from the cupboard. On the table was a large bag from the diner, and the smells wafting from it made my mouth water.

  “Your boss sent dinner. A guy name Scott delivered it and said to tell you everyone at the diner is hoping you get better soon.”

  I looked at the large containers of fish and chips. My favorite. “That’s so nice of them.”

  “Yeah, and it smells amazing.” Jordan picked up the bag by the handles. “I checked out the roof while you were asleep, and I thought it would be nice to have our dinner up there. A little rooftop picnic.”

  “That sounds great.”

  I got two sodas from the fridge, and she carried the food and plates. It was a warm evening, and the sun felt good after days in the hospital. I was ravenous after my small lunch, and Jordan nodded in approval when I put a second helping of fish on my plate.

  “How long are you staying?” I asked her as we lounged after our meal, too full to move.

  Her eyebrow rose. “Sick of me already?”

  I smiled. “I figured you’d get bored here soon.”

  “It’s no L.A.; that’s for sure.”

  She made a squawking sound as Harper swooped down to land on the table. The crow eyed the food containers then cocked his head to give me an expectant look.

  I laughed at them both. “Off the table, buddy. You want a treat, you go to your dish.”

  “What the hell?” Jordan sputtered when Harper jumped off the table and strutted over to his food dish. “You have a pet crow?”

  I put fries and leftover fish on my plate. “He’s Sara’s crow, and he drops in for treats every now and then.”

  “Oh yeah, she told me about him.” Jordan watched Harper. “Does he actually understand you?”

  “I think so. But then, he is one of Sara’s pets, so…”

  “Say no more.”

  I carried my plate over and scraped the food into the crow’s dish. When I straightened, my gaze fell on a classic blue Mustang parked up the street.

  Jordan came over to stand beside me. “I wasn’t sure whether or not to tell you.”

  I stared at the car as conflicting emotions rose up in my chest. I missed him, and I wished he was in here with me, but I wasn’t ready to talk to him. I believed he still loved me, but I couldn’t stop remembering the way he’d looked at me and how much it hurt when he’d walked out.

  And then there were the things Lex had said to me about how the pack would treat Roland if he had a human mate. I knew she had been trying to drive me away, but there’d been a ring of truth to her words, and I couldn’t forget them.

  “Why is he out there?”

  “He wants to be close to you even if you won’t see him.” She shrugged. “I guess bonded males are all the same whether they are Mohiri or werewolf. You should have seen Nikolas before Sara finally mated him. Impossible to live with. I bet Wolf Boy couldn’t leave if he wanted to.”

  “Sara and Nikolas are happy together.”

  She made a face. “Ridiculously happy. I couldn’t handle a male all up in my business, no matter how hot he is.”

  “So, if you were in my shoes, you’d tell Roland it was over?”

  “If I was in your shoes, I would’ve boxed that boy’s ears by now. But that’s me. If I was in love with him like you are, I’d give him hell, and then I’d give him a night he’d never forget.”

  I turned away from the ledge, my heart heavy. “I wish it was that easy.”

  “Whatever you decide, make sure you do what makes you happy. Life’s too short to waste.”

  “Says the immortal.”

  She snorted. “Mohiri mate for life, too. Can you imagine being stuck with someone you didn’t like for centuries? It doesn’t matter how long your life is; you have to make it count.”

  I nodded, but I couldn’t stop Lex’s words from playing in my head. “You’ll drag him down and make him weak, and no wolf will respect a weak Alpha.”

  What if the thing that gave me happiness ended up destroying his?

  * * *

  I walked into the kitchen, rubbing my arm where my cast used to be. Jordan had removed the cast this morning, after three days of feeding me the horrid gunna paste. She was a tough nurse, but she made up for that with her entertaining personality. Now she was on a plane back to California, and the apartment felt empty without her.

  In two days, I’d be on a plane, too, headed to DC to visit Marie for a week. I was excited about seeing her again, and I hoped the time away would clear my head and help me figure out where to go from here.

  Yesterday, I called Gail and told her I couldn’t work there anymore. I’d already lost a week of work, and now I was leaving for a week. My future was too uncertain, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be in New Hastings. It wasn’t fair to Gail to hold on to the job while I figured out what to do with my life.

  I hadn’t spoken to Roland since the morning I left the hospital, though he came by every day and sat in his car across the street for at least an hour. He didn’t try to approach me or call me, except for a few texts to ask how I was doing. Jordan said he was waiting for me to forgive him. The thing was, there was nothing to forgive him for. I couldn’t blame him for reacting as he had to something that went against everything he was. Just as I didn’t blame him for Lex’s actions.

  But it wasn’t fair to leave him hanging any longer, especially with me going out of town, which was why I’d texted him earlier, asking if he could come over to talk. I still wasn’t sure what I was going to say to him, and my heart ached every time I thought about it.

  When the doorbell rang, I jumped. I’d been so lost in thought I hadn’t heard a car pull up. Sucking in a deep breath, I went to open the door.

  “Hi.”

  He gave me a smile that made my stomach flutter. It seemed like forever since I’d seen him, and my eyes drank him in.

  “Hey. You look great. Your cast is gone.”

  “Arm’s all healed thanks to Jordan and her Mohiri medicine.”

  I stepped back, motioning for him to enter, and he followed me into the living room. I sat in one of the chairs, and he took the couch, looking a little crestfallen at the distance between us.

  He looked around. “Is Jordan still here? I didn’t see her car.”

  “She left a few hours ago.”

  “Oh.”

  Silence stretched between us. I fidgeted under his gaze and searched for something to say.

  “Emma, about what happened. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for hurting you, and for what Lex did to you. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to forgive me.”

&
nbsp; I held up a hand. “There’s nothing to forgive. I didn’t tell you the truth about me sooner because I knew how you felt about vampires. I don’t hold that against you.”

  “But Lex…”

  “Lex is the one who attacked me, not you.” I could still hear her claws against the back of the Vespa, and I shivered at the memory.

  “I promise you’ll never have to worry about her again. She took off after she attacked you, and Maxwell tracked her down. She’s confined to her family farm and banned from coming to the Knolls. She’s lucky she wasn’t banished.”

  I’d known Roland wouldn’t let her near me again, but hearing that she was banned from town sent relief coursing through me.

  He patted the couch beside him. “Will you come sit with me? I won’t touch you unless you want me to.”

  The hope in his eyes was almost my undoing, but I steeled myself against it. I shook my head. “We need to talk.”

  His smile wavered. “Okay.”

  “I’m leaving on Saturday to visit my sister in DC for a while, and before I go –”

  “You’re leaving?” His body went rigid. “Why?”

  I looked down at my hands. “Marie asked me to visit, and I need time away to think.”

  “About us?”

  “Yes.” I met his gaze again, hating myself for the confusion and hurt on his face.

  “I don’t understand. You love me and I love you. What is there to think about?”

  I played with the hem of my top. “Relationships are about more than love. There’s so much we don’t know about each other. You just found out I used to be a vampire, and I know so little about your life in the pack.”

  “We’ll get to know each other. Ask me anything.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you’re going to be the next Alpha?”

  He frowned. “I found out last Friday, and I haven’t had a chance to tell you with everything else that happened. Is that what’s upset you?”

  “No, I’m happy for you.” I swallowed painfully. “But I can’t be a proper mate to you.”

  “What do you mean?” he demanded. “My wolf chose you. You’re the perfect mate for me.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to stave off the tears until I got through this. There’d be plenty of time to cry later.

  “The Alpha needs a strong mate at his side, not a weak human who’ll only drag him down. The pack won’t accept me, and you’ll be stuck with me. I’ll ruin your life.”

  His eyes widened. “Of course, the pack will accept you. Why would you think that?”

  “Lex said –”

  “Lex,” he growled. “You believed her? She’ll say and do anything to get what she wants.”

  I clenched my hands in my lap. “I know she was trying to drive me away, but some of the things she said were true. How can your pack respect an Alpha female who’s not even a werewolf? I’ll make you look weak in their eyes.”

  “The pack already knows I imprinted on you and that Maxwell chose me to be the next Alpha. Do you know how many people have spoken out against me having a human mate? Not a single one. Shannon and April love you, and Pete and Paul already think of you as part of the pack. My mother and grandmother keep asking when I’m bringing you home to meet them.”

  He stood and came over to kneel at my feet. My stomach dipped when he took my hands in his warmer ones.

  “You are not weak, Emma. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, and I love you with everything in me. There will never be another mate for me, and the only way you’ll hurt me is if you leave me.”

  My breath bottled up in my chest. I’d spent the days since the accident thinking he’d be better off without me and trying to prepare myself to end it with him. I was afraid to let myself believe I didn’t have to give him up.

  Roland gave me a hopeful smile, as if he sensed me weakening. “Let me take you to meet my mother and some of the other people in the Knolls. I want to show you how much you’ve already been accepted by my pack. Please, say you’ll come.”

  I nodded, not just because I couldn’t refuse him when he looked at me like that but because I desperately wanted him to be right.

  He rewarded me with a smile that melted the icy lump in my stomach. In that moment, I would have done anything he asked of me.

  “I’m going to hug you now,” he said roughly. “Is that okay?”

  My pulse quickened. “Yes.”

  His hands moved to my shoulders, gently pulling me against him. I went into his arms and buried my face in the crook of his shoulder, letting his warmth surround me. One of his hands moved up and down my back in light strokes that made me want to burrow against him and forget this horrible week ever happened.

  Too soon, Roland leaned back to look at me. “Been wanting to do that all week.”

  “Me, too.”

  Smiling, he stood and tugged me to my feet. “Let’s go.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes, now. You think I’m giving you a chance to change your mind? Besides, I want to show you something I’ve been working on.”

  “What is it?” I asked, taking a detour to the kitchen to grab my keys and phone.

  He grinned mischievously. “If I tell you, it won’t be a surprise.”

  “I’m not sure I like surprises anymore.”

  “This is a good one, I promise.”

  All the way to the Knolls, he deflected my questions about what he wanted to show me. Instead, he talked about how nice it was now that the gathering was over and most people had gone home.

  “Grandma’s still here because she wanted to meet you,” he said, turning onto a rural road with no houses.

  I rubbed my thighs. “I’m meeting your mother and your grandmother?”

  He reached over and took one of my hands in his. “You’ll love them. But I have to warn you, Grandma will try to feed you until you burst.”

  My jitters calmed a little. “As long as there’s pie.”

  Roland laughed. “There is always pie.”

  We passed a sign that said we were entering the Knolls. Suddenly, we were surrounded by rolling fields planted with corn and potatoes, and large farmhouses with ancient trees in the yards. I’d never been to the Knolls, and I think I’d expected it to be more like a bunch of log cabins in the woods.

  “It’s beautiful.”

  He nodded, looking pleased.

  I watched two young boys chasing each other with water guns, and I smiled, picturing Roland at that age.

  “That’s Maxwell’s house.” He pointed to a large white house at the end of a long driveway. It was bigger than the other houses, but I figured the Alpha needed the biggest place.

  Two houses down he said, “That’s my house.”

  I looked at the brick ranch-style house that had neatly tended rose bushes and a homey feel to it. Then I noticed we were driving past it.

  “We’re not going in?”

  “Not yet. I thought I’d show you around first.”

  We drove through the Knolls until we came to a gravel road that looked new. At the end of the short road sat four bungalows in various stages of construction. The houses were spaced well apart so they didn’t feel crowded, and the builders had left trees between them for privacy.

  Roland pulled the car into the driveway of a pretty gray house with a wraparound porch and a wide chimney. He shut off the engine and looked at me. “Want to see inside?”

  “Yes.” I unbuckled my seat belt and got out.

  The door was unlocked, so we walked in. The interior was done in warm neutral colors and the smell of paint still hung in the air. We walked from the kitchen to the living room, and I saw that the place was partly furnished. It also looked like someone was living here.

  “It’s cozy,” I said, admiring the big fireplace in the living room.

  “That’s not the best part.”

  Roland took my hand and led me down the hallway to a closed door. He opened it to reveal a bright room facing the woods with larg
e windows on two sides. There were cupboards and a long worktable with a sink. But the thing that drew my attention was the large easel standing in the corner next to a stack of blank canvases.

  My throat tightened as I realized what I was looking at.

  “It still needs a little work, but it’ll look great with all your paintings and stuff. And there’s plenty of natural light for–”

  I flung myself at him, my arms hugging his waist tightly, my voice so choked I could barely speak. “It’s perfect.”

  His arms came around me. “A bunch of the guys pitched in to help. Everyone was angry about what Lex did, and they wanted to make it up to you.”

  There were no words to describe what I was feeling. While I’d spent the week agonizing over our relationship, he’d been building me an art studio in this beautiful little house. Our house.

  I waited for the thought of living with him so soon to freak me out. Instead, I found myself thinking how it would be to be able to hold him like this every day. To never be alone again.

  Roland released me, smiling like a kid at Christmas. “Come. Let me show you the rest of the place. Then you can hug me all you want.”

  I snorted softly at his teasing tone and let him go. He showed me a guest room and bathroom before leading me to the master suite that was already furnished with a king-size bed, a dresser, and two nightstands. The bed covers were slightly ruffled and a pair of jeans lay on the floor.

  He smiled sheepishly and picked up the jeans, tossing them in the bathroom.

  “Sorry. I don’t have a hamper yet.”

  “You’re living here?”

  “It was easier to do the work that way.” He gave me a searching look. “What do you think of the place?”

  I nodded approvingly. “Your house is beautiful…even with dirty laundry on the floor.”

  He came over and cupped my face in his hands, the intensity in his gaze stealing my breath.

  “This is our house and that is our bed, and I won’t share them with anyone but you. And if you’d rather stay at the apartment, then I’ll move in there, if you’ll have me.”

  “You’d move out of the Knolls for me?”