Talk to Me

by Jules Wake

  Dad and Mum disappeared at around eleven leaving me, Bill and Ben at the table with another bottle.

  When Ben nipped out to the loo, I felt bold enough to say to Bill, ‘Have you heard from Kate?’

  He looked startled and hopeful at the same time. ‘Not recently,’ he answered warily.

  ‘She … she told me you’d seen her in Australia,’ I ventured.

  ‘Yeah.’ Bill sighed heavily, putting his head in his hands. ‘I’m such a muppet. She’s not interested. Not flash enough for her.’

  I leaned over and put a hand on his forearm. ‘Don’t be so sure about that.’

  ‘Yeah, right.’

  ‘What if she’d had a change of heart?’

  He looked up, hope flaring in his eyes.

  I carried on. ‘What if she’d made a mistake?’

  The sparkle faded and he shook his head. ‘No. To be honest I was surprised she even agreed to have dinner with me, let alone what … well … you know. Anyway if she had changed her mind, she’s been home for weeks, she’d have called.’

  Not if she’d just discovered she was pregnant and his selection for England had just been announced I thought but couldn’t bring myself to say anything. With Kate’s previous indifference, would the timing have looked suspect?

  ‘Stupid thing is. I bloody love her. I really do. First time I met her, I knew.’ Bill sank his head into his hands again.

  I felt for him. He and I had more in common than he knew.

  ‘Bill …’ I stopped, pausing to wonder whether I was doing the right thing. ‘She’s not happy out there. Australia’s just running away. She’ll be back. Don’t give up on her.’

  ‘Really?’ He looked up.

  ‘Well, I don’t know for sure. She’s not said anything but …’

  Being the middleman is so hard. I wanted to give Bill hope but I didn’t want to let Kate down. After all, what if my last conversation with her was just the hormones talking?

  I woke up in a shaft of sunlight, the golden beam slanting through the dormer window. A cloudless, blue sky heralded perfect cricketing weather.

  Despite all my good intentions a little voice in my head reminded me that today I’d see Daniel. Last night’s banter on the phone had made me believe that I could maintain a friendship with him.

  I’d also see Bill again. Had I done the right thing last night, giving him hope? Maybe I should have told him that Kate was pregnant.

  My thoughts were disturbed by a horrible screech from outside. Something was being dragged across the patio below. It must be Dad getting organised.

  He and Mum were both horrifically early risers but with very different routines. He liked breakfast with the radio in the kitchen while Mum preferred to stagger down to her studio at the bottom of the garden, coffee in hand and not talk to anyone for an hour. This arrangement suited everyone. Dad was far too perky at that time – and Mum was vile before her first cup of coffee.

  Drifting downstairs in my favourite, faded pink dressing gown, I spotted Dad in the garden wrestling with trestle tables. After making a mug of tea, I went out to join him.

  Perched on the patio wall, I watched as he washed down the tables and brought me up to speed on who was due to play. He was feeling hugely optimistic, although God knows why. His team was verging on the geriatric.

  ‘Experience, love,’ he said, when I pointed this out. ‘Wisdom over youth.’ I gave him a sceptical look.

  ‘And … a couple of ringers.’ He gave me a gleeful grin.

  I bit back a smile. His glee might be short-lived. Ben had been hinting last night that Daniel had recruited a few ringers of his own, but I wasn’t going to spoil Dad’s fantasies.

  By mid-morning, the tables, picnic chairs, cool boxes, and several large Tesco carrier bags filled with sandwich making provisions, were loaded into the cars. As a past master of teas, I knew what I was doing. The only thing I had to worry about was doing battle with the prehistoric urn, which had a mind all of its own.

  After a week left to its own devices the clubhouse had a unique smell that hit you the minute you stepped inside; slightly damp and musty with an overtone of sweaty socks. Ted, the trusty groundsman, whose shoulders were so stooped they were almost level with his knees, was striding around the field planting the boundary flags with enthusiasm.

  I gave him a wave and in response he pointed to the sky and gave me an enthusiastic thumbs-up. The well-trimmed grass looked perfect and a testament to his devotion to the club.

  Armed with her bottle of Dettol, Mum insisted on washing down every reachable surface in the kitchen before I could take anything in.

  ‘No food in here before I finish,’ she insisted, frantically scrubbing away as I stood in the doorway, my arms lengthening by the second with the weight of the carrier bags.

  ‘Mum, Dad and Ben eat here most weekends. Neither of them has died of food poisoning yet.’

  ‘There’s always a first time,’ she replied, attacking the Formica surface with renewed relish.

  ‘Morning, Mrs Middleton. Olivia,’

  I turned to see Bill looking surprisingly fresh.

  ‘Hi, Bill. No hangover?’ I wondered if this morning he might regret his love struck ramblings about Kate.

  He grinned sheepishly. ‘Bit slow out of the traps this morning. Must get changed. See you later.’ He ambled off to the changing rooms.

  With three quarters of an hour to go before the match started, final preparations for the game were underway. Half-dressed players were padding about in socks (no wonder the place smelt the way it did) and Ted was giving the square one last roll.

  Dumping the bags and leaving Mum to it, I slipped out onto the white fenced veranda which ran across the front of the clubhouse. Today it offered cool shade from the sun, which was getting hotter. Studded boots clattered past me on the wooden boards as the two teams trooped in and out of the pavilion. Bill and my brother were over in the nets practicing with a couple of other players. At every turn I was greeted by familiar faces.

  ‘Olivia! Haven’t seen you here for a while? How’s life treating you?’

  ‘Home for the weekend, are you?’

  ‘Wotcha. Seen Ben?’

  ‘Where’s your Dad, love? The umpire wants a word.’

  ‘Go on, make us a cuppa.’

  Some were contemporaries of Dad’s, others mates of Ben’s and all were accompanied by wives, girlfriends or children armed with blankets and rugs, deckchairs and cool-boxes. The ground was filling rapidly.

  ‘Olivia! Wait up.’

  It was Daniel calling from the car park. I waited on the veranda as he strode over.

  There was an odd expression on his face.

  Daniel could see her standing on the pavilion steps as he got out of his car. She looked relaxed and happy, not like the last time he’d seen her. Talk about guilty face, wrapped in a bathrobe peering round the door of the hotel suite. He smiled grimly to himself. Bet she’d had a near heart attack with an unexpected knock at the door. Although she was probably used to it. Was that what it was like when you had an affair, in constant fear of being found out or spotted where you shouldn’t be? Some people, he supposed, got off on that kind of thrill … although he didn’t see Olivia as the type.

  And now he was about to give her the really bad news. He couldn’t believe it. No one had heard from Mike for bloody years and then out of the blue one of the other players dropped out and asked Mike to step in for him. The worst thing was going to be breaking it to her.

  There was no easy way to do it.

  He caught up with her just outside the kitchen.

  ‘Olivia …’ He paused loathe to tell her. ‘Porn Star Mike—’

  ‘What about him?’ Olivia looked blank.

  ‘He’s … coming … today. Sorry.’


  ‘Mike?’ Her voice pitched up in disbelief.

  He nodded.

  For a moment her face crumpled in dismay. At least it was better than the tears she’d shed the first time she confided in him what had really happened between them on one of their shared journeys home. Catching your boyfriend in bed with someone else really sucked. He’d done his best to try and cheer her up, coming up with the stupid name Porn Star Mike – it wasn’t really that funny but at the time it had made her smile and then it had stuck.

  ‘Sorry,’ he said, reaching toward her. ‘We were short. James said he knew someone and I never gave it another thought until he sent through his team list last night.’

  ‘Bugger.’ She pulled a face. ‘Really?’

  ‘Yeah, I’m sorry.’

  ‘Can’t be helped,’ she said briskly. ‘Not your fault. Ancient history.’

  Although she pulled a face and shrugged, he could see she’d put a brave face on. ‘No doubt everyone will find him charming and I’m far too “nice” to tell.’

  With the misery in her expression, he couldn’t help but put an arm round her to give her a quick hug. He breathed in the scent of her newly washed hair, which still felt slightly damp as it tumbled across his forearm. To his surprise she leaned in to him and he could feel her heart pounding against his chest. It brought back the memory of them lying full-length on her sofa lost in kisses and his own pulse kicked.

  With a squeeze, he reassured her with the words, ‘Don’t worry about old Porn Star. You’ll be OK.’

  The nickname finally elicited a giggle and she looked up at him, the sadness dissolving in her eyes. Encouraged, he smiled down at her and she responded, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin with a determined nod.

  ‘I’ll try not to call him that, but if I have to speak to him, I can’t guarantee I’ll be civil.’

  ‘Yeah, right.’ He clasped her shoulder and gave her another hug.

  They both knew that was rubbish. Olivia didn’t have it in her to be rude to anyone.

  The knowledge jarred in his mind as a trickle of memories slipped into his head and he remembered all the things that Emily had told him that Olivia had said and done. Suddenly they didn’t ring true. Not with the Olivia he’d known all these years. Like a cloud lifting, his thoughts clarified. Emily had been prone to exaggeration; it just hadn’t occurred to him how far that might stretch. Now it seemed obvious.

  He realised Olivia was speaking and he’d zoned out for a second.

  ‘Just don’t let on to Dad who he is. I don’t want any homicidal bowling.’

  Kate was the only one of the family who’d ever met Mike but they all knew what he’d done.

  ‘If he gives you any trouble I’ll put itching powder in his box!’

  She laughed. ‘Thanks, I’ll be fine,’ she said amused, and then her eyes shifted as if she was trying to avoid looking at him. Weird. Were they back to those odd games again?

  An awkward silence hung between them and he stepped back.

  ‘Duty calls. I need to find out who’s here. See you later.’ Loping off, he headed into the away team’s changing room.

  I was grateful for Daniel’s warning. It meant that when I did see Mike and his girlfriend I was prepared. I knew exactly who she was from her distinct shade of red hair. I’d seen it once before, fanned out on a pillow beneath Mike.

  ‘Olivia! Great to see you. How’re you doing? What are you up to now?’ he said all in one nervous breath.

  ‘Mike.’ I nodded. Be cool. Distant. ‘Fine.’ I said, deliberately ignoring all his questions and not bothering to show any interest in him. My chilly response didn’t faze him as he carried on enthusiastically.

  ‘So, what are you up to now?’

  ‘I work in London,’ I said coolly. Although part of me wanted to tell him I was wildly successful, had a wonderful life and drove a bright red Ferrari, another part wanted to show him that I had absolutely no interest in his opinion.

  Tracey had looked suspicious at first, shooting glances at us, checking out our body language but my off-hand manner must have reassured her. I could see her relax and in a throwaway glance totally dismiss me.

  She’d obviously decided I was no threat at all, which normally I wouldn’t have reacted to. After all she hadn’t personally done me any harm, but coming after Friday’s moment of epiphany about Emily, her dismissal wound me up. How dare she? I’d wipe that smug look off her face. How come everyone else got away with bad behaviour?

  I couldn’t help myself, I was feeling bitchy and for once I was going to give into those feelings.

  Suddenly I wanted to make Mike squirm. He and Emily were two of a kind, they always went for the easy option in life and in both cases I’d let them get away with it. Not any more and that went for Emily too.

  I gave Mike a long slow assessing look and smiled straight into his eyes completely ignoring Tracey. ‘It’s been a long time. You look well. What are you doing these days?’

  He blanched uneasily.

  As well he might. Tracey immediately straightened up, moving closer to his side to give him an unsubtle nudge in the ribs.

  A look of panic crossed his face. ‘Tracey, this is Olivia. She was at Norwich with … at the same time as me.’

  I smiled. The wide, soulless smile of a shark going in for the kill. ‘I saw you … once.’

  Mike’s Adam’s apple dipped and I felt a tiny flicker of satisfaction at his discomfort.

  ‘Really,’ she said frowning as if trying to remember meeting me, which of course she couldn’t. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t … Are you sure it was me? I only went to Norwich once.’

  ‘I’m sure. Very sure. Mike remembers. Don’t you?’

  He flushed bright red. She intercepted the look and frowned.

  Not so smug now are you?

  ‘Yes,’ he mumbled and before she could ask for any more details he quickly said, ‘See much of Daniel these days?’

  I was just about to answer when I saw his gaze move to a point behind me.

  ‘Daniel. Hi.’

  Swivelling round I saw Daniel, now in whites, just emerging from the changing room, with a clear warning look in his eyes.

  ‘Mike,’ he said, extending a hand. ‘Glad you could make it. Still handy with a bat?’

  ‘Don’t get much chance to play these days,’ answered Mike, with a quick look at Tracey. ‘The missus doesn’t like it.’

  ‘Only because it’s such a waste of the weekend,’ she snapped back.

  ‘Mmm,’ said Daniel ruefully, nodding at Mike and giving her a polite smile. ‘My girlfriend feels the same.’

  His words were a sudden bleak reminder of Emily. I needed to put some distance between us.

  The hugs he’d given me earlier had been too much. That first one had made my heart give a little skip as every nerve ending went on alert. How on earth was I going to cope? Compared to this, getting over Mike hadn’t been so difficult. I could hate him for what he’d done, but how was I ever going to forget Daniel? All the touchy-feely, aren’t we mates stuff was torture. Perhaps it was better when he was cold and distant.

  I mumbled something about needing to start making sandwiches and began to head towards the kitchen. Behind me I heard Daniel tell Mike he needed to go and get changed.

  ‘Olivia,’ Daniel called and in quick strides caught up with me. ‘Need any help with teas?’

  ‘I didn’t need rescuing,’ I said grumpily

  He grinned at me. ‘I know, but Mike did.’

  I pulled a face at him. ‘I wouldn’t have said anything. Just making him sweat a bit.’

  ‘Heartless woman. He was genuinely upset when you cut him off at uni, you know.’

  ‘And he didn’t deserve it?’ I said my voice quavering indignantly.

/>   ‘You were pretty ruthless. Severing all ties immediately.’

  Daniel’s tone might have been gentle but I was pissed off at the implication that I might have handled it badly.

  I didn’t say a word leaving Daniel to dig a bigger hole.

  ‘It must have been hard on him. The two of you had been so close. You never even gave him the chance to explain.’

  ‘Explain what?’ I spluttered in disbelief. ‘Do tell me. What is the proper way of telling your girlfriend that you’re sleeping with someone else?’

  Daniel had the grace to look embarrassed. ‘Sorry. Point taken. All I’m saying is that he was hurt too. He made a mistake. We all do that.’

  I didn’t like Daniel being Mr Reasonable.

  Beyond him through the window I could see Dad and the umpire pacing the pitch.

  ‘Oy! Daniel,’ yelled Ben from the veranda. ‘You’re needed for the toss.’

  He lowered his voice, something urgent in his eyes as he said, ‘Sometimes you get involved in a situation. You know it’s wrong but you just keep going.’

  My heart thumped as he held my gaze. Mike? Or, hope blazed for a second, him and Emily?

  He carried on, ‘Can you honestly say, hand on heart, what you’re doing is the right—’

  ‘Daniel, where the hell are you? Get your arse out here,’ yelled a voice from outside.

  ‘Shit. Gotta go.’ He gave an ‘I’m-on-my-way’ wave to Dad and the umpire out on the pitch, before squeezing my arm affectionately and heading out.

  Why did he have to do that? It was only adding to my confusion.

  What was going on? Was he going off Emily? No, he couldn’t be. Hadn’t he just taken her to see Phantom and then out for sushi?

  But he doesn’t like sushi.

  No one likes sushi.

  So that proves it. He must love her.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Dad won the toss and he opted to put his team into bat. I kept myself busy preparing sandwiches, laying out the plates and teacups, chatting to Mum and her cricket widow cronies and doing my best not to let my eyes drift over the other side of the field to Daniel’s tall, lean figure.