“I can understand that.” Resisting the urge to fidget or move things around the table again, I just watched as he walked over. “What can I get you to drink?”
In minutes, we were both sitting at the table digging in. Wilder was impressed at the food even though it was more messy than difficult to make. But he appreciated it, which made me feel good. Occasionally, people from work would come over for dinner, but the most of the time we went out. It’d been a while since everyone had been over.
Dinner went by quickly, the conversation rolling naturally. Nothing seemed forced or awkward, and I was glad. I’d woken up afraid it had been a fluke or that I’d been remembering it wrong. But no, everything seemed to just get easier as time passed.
With everything going so easily, it made me curious to find out what Wilder thought about it all. Especially the physical side that would happen eventually. He didn’t seem to have an issue with the fact that he was dating a man, but just because I could see it working out didn’t mean the problem wasn’t there.
When dinner was finished, and we were both full, I leaned back in my chair trying to look casual. “What do you think about all this?” I gestured between the two of us. “From the things that you said earlier I don’t think you’ve dated a guy before, so I’m curious to know how it feels to you. If it’s not something you’re ready to talk about, that’s fine. But…”
Wilder shook his head, interrupting. “It’s alright. I don’t mind you asking.”
He took a moment, not quite fidgeting but looking like he was arranging the words in his head. “I’ve never dated a guy, or even seriously thought about it. In college, I was surrounded by all different types of people, but the closest I came to an actual relationship with a man was trading hand jobs with a roommate.”
That didn’t surprise me with the way people were more open to experimenting, but jerking someone off was a long way from dating. Not wanting to interrupt, I nodded and stayed quiet while he continued. “I didn’t identify myself as gay or bi because it was just something casual, and I couldn’t see dating him. Looking back, that was probably because we were really just friends and nothing more than that.”
He paused for a moment, a far-off expression on his face. “Maybe if I’d looked around for ways to explore that side of myself I would have realized that. But I was working my way through college as a tattoo artist, and between that and double majors, it was taking me longer than average to graduate anyway.”
Wilder shrugged and relaxed. I could almost hear the internal criticism fading from his mind. It wasn’t a bad thing that he hadn’t seen it before. People figured that kind of stuff out on their own schedule. “Taking the time away from work or studying in order to date anyone wasn’t something that was important to me at the time. And after college, I started focusing on building up my portfolio and making my art an actual career, so I was still very busy.”
With the way people were starting to perceive sexuality, it made sense. But I still kind of thought it was cute. Or maybe interesting was a better word. “So the physical side doesn’t make you uncomfortable, you just never considered dating a guy?”
Wilder gave a half shrug, half nod that I wasn’t quite sure how to take. “Yes, it sounds nuts, but guys weren’t on my radar before college, and my first experiences were casual things where I was told someone jerking me off didn’t make me gay, so I never looked beyond that.” Then he smiled a little and gave me a heated look. “Until I heard my little stalker.”
I blushed and looked up at the ceiling. “I can’t believe he did that to me.”
“Eli? Yeah, he gave me a wink as you guys were leaving and said that I’d be seeing you on Friday.” Wilder chuckled. “He’s interesting.”
“He’s insane.” I would still have to figure out a way to get him back. Not that revenge was my strong suit. But there had to be somebody around the studio who could help me plan. “He totally played me.”
“I’m glad, otherwise we might never have actually met. I’ve been in my own world lately, and I’m not sure if I would have even realized you were watching me. Much less realize that you’re sweet and cute.”
I was blushing, but I turned my gaze back to Wilder. “Sweet and cute, huh? What if I was hoping to go for sexy and intriguing?”
“That might take giving me a live look at what a photo shoot looks like. I don’t have a camera, but I think sketching you like that would be incredible.”
The photos were almost impersonal for me; I liked it and I felt comfortable and just more me, but I didn’t have the exhibitionist streak Eli and some of the other guys had. But the idea of Wilder sketching me like that was completely different. Something about it felt sexy in a way I hadn’t imagined before.
“You do?”
Wilder nodded, not even attempting to hide how much the idea appealed. “I’ve got these big windows in my apartment that show the whole skyline at night. I pictured you leaning up against the glass. If I could capture it, it would be beautiful. Even just you lying on the bed in something romantic or flirty and teasing. I know they would turn out incredibly.”
I was starting to understand how Eli felt when Roman turned his gaze on the model and started describing the scenes he wanted to shoot. With the extra layer of desire and attraction, it took the discussion to a whole new level. I wasn’t the most outrageous person, but even I wanted to strip off my clothes and throw myself at Wilder.
No wonder Eli couldn’t keep his clothes on.
“I’d be open to something like that.” I wanted the words to sound casual, like I wasn’t desperately throwing myself at him in my head, but it felt like he could see right through me.
Wilder’s smile took a wicked turn, and I almost asked what he was thinking. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. He’d seen the site, so he knew what I looked like, which should’ve felt weird but didn’t. I just didn’t know what pieces he was interested in or what didn’t do it for him.
Not yet anyway.
I didn’t want to rush him, but I also didn’t want to give myself anything else to fantasize over. That would just be torture.
The look on Wilder’s face had everything in me sitting up and taking notice, including my dick. “Then when you come over later this week, how about you bring a few things to show me?”
I wasn’t sure if it felt like we were moving too fast or not fast enough.
Would it be just like show-and-tell where he got to see how it looked on a real person, or was he imagining something else? The more I got to know him, the more I hoped that he didn’t want to just look.
“I’d like that.” I felt my face heating, and I finally glanced away. Looking down at the table, I didn’t let my nerves chase me away from my question. “What kinds of things do you want me to bring?”
The website had a huge variety. I’d worn everything from sweet nightgowns to sexy panties. What had caught his eye?
Wilder was quiet long enough that I peeked up to see what he was doing. He was taking the question seriously, and the look of concentration on his face was cute. Finally, he shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe something like that short…it’s not really a nightgown, but it kind of looks that way in the picture. It was a cream color and didn’t go down very far and the background was kind of dark.”
I knew what he was talking about. It wasn’t something recent, so he had to have spent quite a while browsing through the site to find it. “I have something similar. I can bring that over.”
A teasing, curious grin broke out across his face. “And I wouldn’t say no to something like the underwear that you were wearing in your blog last week.”
Oh.
He was definitely going for the show in show-and-tell. Those panties hadn’t left much to the imagination, even in a selfie. Deciding to go with it, I tried to let him see how the conversation was affecting me. “I have a few different colors. What would you prefer, black, white, red, or pink?”
Wilder shifted just enough in his seat to give m
e wicked thoughts. “I liked the white ones in the picture, but how about you bring the black ones and the pink ones?”
My dick was so hard that when I stood up, I knew he would notice. “All right.”
My brain wasn’t really working. There was more I should have said, but it just wouldn’t come out. Teasing, sexy things were flowing through my mind, but all I could do was blush and sit there like an idiot.
Not that Wilder seemed to mind.
No, he seemed to enjoy making me crazy. “Should we get the table cleaned up? I can’t wait to curl up on the couch with you.”
Nothing about the movie, no comment about relaxing, just that he wanted to sit down with me. Nothing even hinted that he was nervous about what might happen. It made my stomach start to whirl. Even if all he did was hold me, it would be one of the best dates ever.
Chapter 9
Wilder
It was exciting but felt perfectly normal. It felt so different, but routine at the same time. All the pieces were familiar, but the way it all combined was unique.. I’d dated. I’d fooled around with guys. I’d met people that I found a connection with quickly. Something about Lane made it special when the parts all combined together.
It should have made me hesitant or at the very least nervous, but as we curled up on the couch, I couldn’t wait to see where everything led. Nothing about his behavior said he needed to rush, but he hadn’t tried to hide the fact that he found me desirable. That had been easy to see in his eyes.
And in his flirting.
Taking things one step at a time and seeing where they led seemed like the best idea. Unfortunately, the rational part of my brain was at odds with other parts of me—and it wasn’t just my dick. I wanted to see him and sketch him, and I wanted to see if I could capture the look on his face that was sometimes in his pictures.
A lot of the guys on the website kept their faces obscured, but Lane didn’t seem to worry about that. If the situations were reversed, I wasn’t sure if I would have been able to put my face online. Not out of fear or shame, but it felt like he was sharing a big part of who he was.
He kept saying that he wasn’t interested in showing that part of himself in public, but I had to wonder if that wasn’t completely true. Maybe he just wasn’t ready to admit that he wanted it. If he let people see that part of himself online, it just made sense in my head that eventually, it would come out in other ways.
It was something I’d have to consider, especially if we were looking at starting a serious relationship, but I wasn’t sure if it would make a difference. Meeting him for dinner in those slim-fitting sexy jeans and heels didn’t seem outrageous. Mentally shifting the image around in my head, I pictured him in a skirt and those same heels. The right skirt would probably make his ass look fabulous, but other than that I didn’t think I cared.
We wouldn’t look like the kind of couple people were expecting, but I had a feeling with me at his side we wouldn’t get that many comments. When you were well over six feet, built a little bit like a football player, and covered in tattoos, it wasn’t surprising that people left you alone.
I would’ve probably had to date an alien before somebody made a comment. Even then, I had a feeling the waiter would just nod and tell me that he’d bring our drinks shortly.
After we’d finished dinner, I’d helped Lane clean up the mess, and we moved over to the couch. He’d been a little unsure about where to sit, but I knew it was only because he was trying to be careful of me. It was nice of him, but not needed.
I liked the idea of getting to hold him.
I hadn’t been a very tactile person going into college, but it hadn’t taken long for my bubble to have been burst completely. Being surrounded by so many other artistic people, I’d been swamped with classmates and roommates and friends who hugged and touched everyone.
Maybe it was because of my experiences in college or maybe it was just Lane, but as I wrapped my arms around him, it just felt right. “Is this okay? I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I’d like it if you were closer.”
Lane stiffened, then cocked his head at me. “Are you sure?”
Nodding, trying not to smile, I did my best not to sound too enthusiastic. “Yes, I’m sure.”
“Then, yes, it’s fine.”
I was hoping it would end up being more than fine, but I knew he was just worried about rushing me. It was sweet but unnecessary. Or at least that was what I was starting to think. Pulling him closer as the movie started to play, I twisted and leaned back against the arm of the couch so he was resting on my chest.
He was warm, and the harder angles of his body were different but not wrong. It was just weird enough that it felt familiar and awkward at the same time. My body remembered similar times in the past, but this was new and special. Lane was special.
He was still rigid in my arms, but as the movie started to play, he gradually relaxed. It wasn’t exactly what I’d pictured in the beginning, but as time went on, his body curled into me. Once he realized that I was completely comfortable holding him, one arm came up, and he wrapped it around my bicep, absently caressing the tattoos that were just peeking out of my shirt sleeve.
When he shifted and his head came to rest against my neck, he stretched his legs out down the couch and I was finally able to relax. I wasn’t sure the best way to describe it, but it was nice. There was nothing stressful about it and nothing that made me uneasy.
I was just finally getting to hold the man who’d made me so intrigued.
Lane’s fingers finally inched under the sleeve and started tracing patterns and randomly caressing me. I knew it wasn’t necessarily something sexual for him, but my body was having a hard time remembering that. He was pressed tightly against me and the slow touches were too much for my cock. The way we were both positioned, though, I couldn’t be sure that he knew how he was affecting me.
It was a little bit distracting.
I’d wanted to watch the sci-fi movie I’d picked out, but that was almost impossible. Next time we did something like this, I told myself I’d have to remember to pick out something I wasn’t really interested in seeing. My focus was on Lane, not the space battles.
The confidence in his touch made me comfortable enough that I let my hands start to wander and caress. Nothing crazy, but when I started rubbing his side and the area of his back that I could reach, he arched and pressed into my hand just enough to encourage me. The silent hint to keep going had me curious about what else would feel good to him.
My brain drummed over and over that we weren’t going to rush, but my body wasn’t completely on board with the idea. I loved the way his muscles flexed and the hard planes of his abs pushed me to keep exploring his body, but it wasn’t until he turned and laid his back on my chest that I knew he wanted more as well.
I shifted, and the new position had my legs stretched down the couch with his body cradled between my thighs. His head rested against my neck, and his hands started caressing my legs as he watched the movie. I wanted to know what was going through his head, but part of me thought that would make both of us uncomfortable. And really, overthinking it was the last thing I wanted to happen at that moment.
I wrapped my arms around him and let my hands rest against his chest. We should have had a discussion before things continued. But as my fingers started caressing his chest, I knew that he would have said something if I’d made him uncomfortable. Lane was an interesting mix of reservations and openness, but he’d always been very honest about what he was thinking.
The way we were positioned had his back pressed flush against the front of my body. There was no hiding my body’s reaction to his. Maybe that made him more comfortable, but as my fingers skimmed lightly over his chest, his body relaxed again and sank into me. He wasn’t just lying on me; it was almost like he wanted me to wrap myself around him.
When I caressed over his nipples, his entire body tightened, but in a way that made me smile and do it again. He made a low, br
eathy sound that let me know just how sensitive he was. When my hands moved down his chest, he made a quiet sound of protest that had me chuckling. He clearly wanted my hands back at his nipples, but he hadn’t said anything.
Was it because he wasn’t comfortable asking?
Was it because he wanted to let me explore and set the pace?
Was it his way of solidly putting the control in my hands?
There were too many possibilities, and I had to admit, I liked the idea of him giving up control. He’d made little comments at dinner that had me curious about his interest in other things. I had a feeling that his kinks didn’t stop at sexy underwear.
I kept my touch light and slow as I caressed his chest. I wanted to go faster, but there was a part of me that felt a rush of pleasure with every reaction and every little hint at Lane’s growing impatience. When his silence finally broke, he made me chuckle.
“You’re trying to make me crazy, aren’t you?” Frustration was clear in his voice, but I didn’t get a sense that he was trying to rush me. It was more of an acknowledgment than anything else.
“Yes.” I liked his little reactions, but knowing I was pushing his buttons made everything even better.
Lane groaned and seemed to make some kind of internal decision because the subtle reactions were slowly fading to something more obvious. He arched up into my touch, inadvertently rubbing his lower back against my cock. It sent a shiver through both of us, and it made me think that it was the first time he’d realized how turned on I was as well.
I chuckled and brought my hands back up to his nipples. Lightly circling them, I was completely focused on the anticipation I felt building in him. “You like being teased.”
It wasn’t really a question, but Lane nodded. “Yes.”
His answer came out slightly breathy and filled with more need than I’d heard from him before. It pushed away any reservations that may have been working in the back of my mind, and let me focus solely on him. “I like teasing. But that means that I’m in control of how fast or how slow I go. Is that what you want?”
Lane Page 8
