I hadn’t thought so, especially since he’d turned the conversation in that direction to begin with. Lane shook his head, but his gaze moved to our hands, still touching and caressing slowly. “No, not really, and it’s a reasonable question even if it is personal.”
There was a short pause while he clearly tried to collect his thoughts, but he kept going quicker than I might have in his place. “Yes, most of the time, I’m wearing the things that you would’ve seen on the website. I’m not comfortable standing out in a crowd, even though I do the modeling online. So I don’t wear clothes in public that most people would identify as being specifically for a woman, but I have some at home that I wear.”
I immediately pictured some of the nightgown-looking pieces that he’d worn on the site. I wasn’t sure if that made me an ass or not. Of course, I’d never dated anyone that I’d seen in that state of undress before our first date so that probably had something to do with the erotic way my brain interpreted the words. After seeing the pictures online, every mental image was much clearer.
As I thought about it, though, I realized that he might have meant something more practical. “Feel free to answer this honestly, but would asking specific questions here be weird? I mean, it’s probably going to be weird, but…”
No one else had ever managed to chase the words from my head.
Lane laughed and finally set down his fork, leaning back against the booth. “Now you have to ask. You have me really curious.”
I knew my grin had to look slightly embarrassed, but I pressed forward anyway. “Are you talking about skirts and things or a more lingerie style of clothing?”
That hadn’t come out terribly. At least, I didn’t think so.
Lane looked slightly self-conscious, but there was also something teasing in his smile. It made me wonder what was going through his mind. “Both. I have some dresses and skirts at the house that I wear for fun and because they make me feel pretty. Most of what I have is lingerie, nightgowns, and pieces that I can wear under my everyday clothing.”
I shoved my hesitation to the back of my mind and pressed forward with my question. “If you were to bring more things like that into your everyday clothes, what would it be?” Calling them women’s clothes seemed like I might be insulting him, but I really didn’t have the vocabulary for the discussion we were having.
It was frustrating.
Lane took a moment to think about it before he shrugged. “I don’t know exactly, but I think shoes, maybe.”
It wasn’t the answer I was expecting, and it made me smile. “Like heels?”
He nodded, and stretched one foot out of the booth to look at the boots he was wearing. They were nice, but fairly unremarkable. Maybe the heel was a little high, but that was it.
“Yeah.” He turned his foot back and forth, analyzing it. “It would have to be shoes first. I think a great pair of women’s boots with a narrower line and higher heels would look really good with these pants.”
I wasn’t much for fashion, but the art classes I’d taken in college and just the people I’d hung out with made it easy to visualize what he was describing. “I agree. You could also get away with a pair of those high heels with the thin heel. I don’t know what they’re called. They give a lot of height but cover up most of your foot.”
I should’ve taken more fashion classes in college.
Lane looked up from where he’d been analyzing his foot and gave me a skeptical look. “Do you think?”
I wasn’t exactly sure what he was asking. “I’ve seen a lot of people wearing similar shoes with tight jeans like those. Wasn’t your friend—Eli, right?—wearing something like that the other day? And this guy came into the shop last week to get a piercing with these boots that had a really high heel. I’m not sure what section of the store he’d bought them in, but it probably could’ve gone either way, now that I think about it.”
Shoes definitely had gotten a lot more gender neutral. They weren’t really something that I noticed, though. But even looking around the room at the younger couples, there were a variety of people whose shoes weren’t gender specific. Or if they were, people were ignoring it.
The last time I’d gone to buy boots, there’d been a lady standing next to me complaining that women’s shoes were always too narrow and weren’t sturdy enough to really work in. I’d just shrugged and pointed out my favorite brand. Looking back on it, though, I hadn’t really cared that she wasn’t shopping in her section. It was just clothes, well, in that case, shoes.
“What would you have done if I’d shown up in something else?” The question wasn’t accusatory, just curious.
I shrugged. “Told you that you looked good?”
That had me thinking. “Oh, I don’t think I did that before. If I forgot, you look good. To be honest, I don’t really look at feet. I may not have even noticed. Well, unless you grew three or four inches. Then I would’ve noticed. One of the baristas seems to have a variety of shoes because some days she grows like four inches overnight, that’s actually startling. Although I don’t know why, maybe something about expectations?”
And I was veering ridiculously off topic.
I tried to bring it back around to the original question. “But would I have cared? I don’t think so. Maybe I would’ve been surprised the first time I saw you back at the coffee shop if you’d been wearing something like that, but after looking at the stuff on the website and doing some research, I’m not sure it would’ve been startling.”
Lane nodded and settled back into his seat. “I guess I can understand that. After seeing everything the store carries, you probably weren’t sure what to expect.”
That was an understatement.
“Yes, but from the things that you mentioned and what you were wearing in the coffee shop, I wasn’t expecting something very different. But it wouldn’t have bothered me even if it was.”
At least, I didn’t think so.
It was one of those questions where I thought I knew what I would’ve done. It was always difficult, though, to be completely sure. “Now I’m second-guessing myself. Discussing the idea with you, it doesn’t seem startling, however. So I’m going to have to go with that.”
Lane chuckled. “You really are funny sometimes. I don’t think you’re one of those guys who would have made a comment or had an issue with what I was wearing.”
“I think you’re right.” I thought about asking him to wear something nontraditional next time just to see how it would feel. But that felt a little bit like telling him I wanted to run a science experiment, so I kept my mouth shut.
I was luckily saved from looking even more awkward as the waitress came over. She asked us about dessert and questioned how the meal was. Neither of us were interested in more food, so in minutes I’d paid the bill and we’d headed out of the restaurant.
Lane gave me a teasing grin. “You know, on our second date, it’s going to be my turn to pay.”
A layer of worry that I hadn’t been aware of faded away at the mention of a second date. “I think that’s fair. Where are you going to take me?”
Lane considered for a moment. “How about my place, tomorrow night? Dinner and a movie? I’ll cook.”
I wanted to tease him about that clearly being a Netflix and chill kind of invitation, but I restrained myself. I didn’t want him to think that I’d have any expectations. Lane, however, must’ve seen something on my face, because he laughed. “No, not that kind of evening.”
“I didn’t say anything. You seem to be the one with the dirty mind.” I shrugged and gave him an innocent smile.
He chuckled. “I don’t believe that at all. You’ve got a pretty expressive face when you’re not trying to look unapproachable.”
“I’m always approachable.” Most of the time.
“Not when you’re reading, then you don’t like interruptions. Except for the kids.”
Okay, maybe he had a point. “I’m going to plead the fifth on that.” I looked around the
lot. “Where are you parked?”
He pointed in the opposite direction than I was parked. As he led the way, I let my hand bump against his. Not taking it exactly, but kind of testing the waters. It felt nice. The heat from his body and the soft caress of his skin as his fingers brushed against mine felt right.
When he stopped beside a small, darkly colored compact, I frowned. I wasn’t ready for the date to be over yet. Taking a deep breath, I tried to figure out what to say. “Okay, this is one of those awkward moments where we both said that we were going to be honest about things. Well, I had a wonderful evening with you and part of me wants to kiss you, but I’d rather not do that in a parking lot. Don’t think I’m hiding or ashamed of this or anything, it’s just—”
Lane jumped in, nodding with a smile on his face. “That our first kiss doesn’t need to be in the parking lot surrounded by strangers and traffic?”
When I nodded, his smile grew bigger, and he leaned in close, pressing his shoulder into mine. “No, I understand that completely. And I had a wonderful time as well.” Even in the low light of the dark parking lot, I could see his blush rising. But Lane just ignored it and kept speaking as he let his fingers caress mine. “If we had more privacy, I’d definitely be encouraging you.”
As I looked at the light in his eyes and the tempting smile on his face, I wasn’t sure I would need much encouragement.
Chapter 8
Lane
The ringing of the doorbell made me jump, and I frowned at myself. Straightening, I shook my head. “No, you’re going to relax and enjoy the evening.”
It would’ve helped if I could have decided if I was nervous or excited—but I was a crazy mix of both.
Giving everything in the kitchen one last look, I started heading for the door. The open plan of the apartment made it feel bigger than it really was, but it wasn’t too small. Hopefully, Wilder would like it.
Taking a deep breath as I reached the door, I pushed my nerves away and focused on the excitement. Two dates in two days might have been a little bit much, but I’d been glad when he’d agreed. Waiting another week to see him again would have been entirely too hard.
Especially when stalking him wasn’t an option any longer.
Opening the door, I smiled. “You found it. I hope you’re hungry, I might’ve made too much.”
Stepping back, I gestured for Wilder to come in. Wilder moved closer and gave me a hug. His strong arms lingered around me, making it clear it wasn’t just a platonic gesture. As his arms relaxed and he stepped back, his lips brushed my cheek in the barest of kisses.
It was tender and sweet and sent a shiver down my spine. Wilder just gave me a smile and looked around. “Something smells delicious.”
I wasn’t sure if he wanted to ignore it, or if he just wanted to treat it as an everyday occurrence, so I didn’t say anything. But that one moment bolstered my confidence. He had to be at least somewhat comfortable in the direction everything was going to greet me like that. Trying not to let my mind wander down that road, I focused on what he’d said.
“Thanks. You said you liked Italian, so I went with that.” Our conversation at dinner the previous night had bounced from topic to topic, and I’d been grateful he’d given me ideas about what to make.
His smile widened, and he nodded. “I love it. Most of the time I don’t make dinner for myself just because my schedule is weird, so I appreciate it when anyone else cooks. Although, I do a mean breakfast.”
Giving him a teasing grin, I tilted my head. “That’s good to know.”
He shook his head. “No hints, just information.”
Not sure where to take that, I turned the conversation in a different direction. “Come on. I’ll show you around. I have just a few things to finish up in the kitchen and it’ll be ready. Why don’t you find something we can watch later?”
Wilder nodded as I led him through the apartment. It was small enough that it was clear there was a bedroom and single bathroom down the hall. But Wilder’s focus seemed to be on my desk. It was set up in the living room, taking up one long wall. Charts and papers were spread over it and even up the wall. The fact that I also had two calendars on the wall probably made it look even more interesting.
“You said you did something with numbers in your spare time, but this looks like more than just a small business.” He glanced at me, confused. “This is impressive.”
“Thanks, it’s growing really well. I worked in the finance industry for a while in college. It was easy to see that the finance guys were really just salesmen, and they needed help understanding some of the reports they were getting. I take the raw data they’re given from their back office and turn it into reports they can more easily understand. It sounds boring, I know, but I like numbers.”
“I don’t think it’s boring. But I’ll admit, I don’t have a head for numbers. How do you have time to do this and the modeling?”
I shrugged. “A lot of the work I do is just running the information through programs that are already set up. That was actually the hardest part. Now, it’s just a matter of running the reports and emailing the information back. Each client really only takes a few minutes.”
“I think you’re downplaying how much effort you put into setting up those programs. Is your goal to be able to do this full-time?” Wilder pointed to the desk and leaned against the couch.
“A few years ago when I was first starting the business and desperately trying to figure out a part-time job that would pay the bills, I would’ve said yes.” Back then I thought I’d had everything worked out and the modeling would just be a step on the ladder of my success.
“Now, I can’t imagine leaving Leashes and Lace.” I wasn’t sure if someone outside looking in would understand. “It probably doesn’t make sense, but they’ve become my family. They give me a lot more than my biological one does, and I can’t imagine walking away from them.”
Wilder nodded and seemed to understand, so I kept going. “Maybe there will be a point where I can’t do both, but I’m hoping I won’t have to choose.” There were a lot of reasons I liked doing the modeling and the numbers, some personal and some practical.
As both companies grew, my financial situation had improved, and even though that wasn’t one of my biggest priorities, it was nice. And then there was the fact that it was fun. I liked having the chance to feel sexy and dress up. Letting people see a side of me that I didn’t usually share in real life. It was freeing.
Wilder’s thoughtful expression made me think that he was really listening to what I said before he spoke. “I can understand that. I feel the same about my artwork and tattoo business. Over the past couple of years, I’ve built up a business doing artwork for children’s books. But I couldn’t imagine walking away from the tattoo shop. My boss isn’t exactly family to me, but I like my customers and the art that goes into the tattoos. I wouldn’t want to have to pick which job to keep.”
Glad he understood, I glanced over at the table. “I like the fact that I get to explore different things that I enjoy. I wouldn’t want to be pigeonholed into just one thing.”
Turning back to Wilder, I gave him a teasing look. “You’re going to have to show me some of the books you’ve illustrated. I’ve never met someone who did that. Most of the people I know can’t even draw a straight line. Including me.” As much as I loved art and appreciated it, even the way the photographs were taken, I’d never managed to actually create any. My brain just didn’t seem to work that way.
Wider looked slightly embarrassed but nodded. “How about you come by my place later this week and I’ll show you?”
That sounded suspiciously like an invitation for a third date. Trying not to smile too widely, I agreed. “That sounds like fun. I can’t wait to see them.”
I wasn’t just excited for the date. It was more than that. I’d been around enough creative people to understand that it was their way of sharing themselves with someone. Wilder wasn’t trying to hide anything away f
rom me, and that, more than anything, said how seriously he was taking us.
“Are you going to cook for me?”
He laughed. “I’m not going to try to compete with whatever smells so wonderful. How does Chinese sound to you?”
“Delicious.” Pointing to where the remote was hiding, I stepped away. “Okay, I’m going to get things finished up, because I think the timer is going to be going off any minute.”
He glanced hungrily toward the kitchen. “All right, anything in particular you want to see?”
“No, although I’m not much for comedies.” Most of them just weren’t funny.
He nodded and moved to sit on the couch. “Okay, I’ll see there’s anything new out. What’s your opinion on sci-fi?”
“That feels like a trick question. Am I going to have to debate Star Trek versus Star Wars with you?” Was he a closet geek as well as tattoo artist?
He laughed, shaking his head. “No, I’m one of the few people who can appreciate both. It just depends on what kind of mood I’m in.”
Yep, he was a closet geek too.
“I don’t mind sci-fi, so you can pick.” I was really curious to see what he would choose. People revealed a lot about themselves by the things they read and watched. That seemed to be even more true for Wilder.
I headed toward the kitchen while Wilder started exploring the television. I heard him mumbling to himself as I moved around the room, but he didn’t seem to realize he was doing it. The timer started to go off just as I walked over to the stove. The manicotti looked perfect. As long as he liked it, it made all the time and mess worth it.
The meal was quickly finished up with salad and garlic bread, and soon everything was ready. Bringing it over to the table, I smiled when I saw Wilder flicking through the TV options. He was very intense. I wasn’t sure if it was how he normally watched television or if he was just trying to pick out the right movie, but either way, it was cute.
“Dinner’s ready.”
Wilder set down the remote and stood. “I’ve got it narrowed down to a couple of things, but you’re going to have to pick. Most of the time, I get sucked up into my work in the evening, so I don’t watch that much television.”
Lane Page 7
