Dust to Dust: A Broken Fairy Tale

by S.P. Cervantes

  Holden walks over to me, and starts tugging on my ponytail, breaking me from my thoughts. “Wouldn’t miss the party, Mrs. D. Bridgette has to head out early tonight, though. She needs to be in the office early tomorrow to prep for a case.”

  Did I happen to mention his girlfriend was also a six-foot-tall supermodel, genius district attorney in New York City? I may have left that out.

  “I hope she can at least stay for the fireworks. They’re supposed to be awesome tonight,” I say, slapping his hand away from my hair that he’s now twirling around his finger.

  He laughs playfully, giving me a big, sweaty hug, rubbing his muscular body all over me. It’s both completely gross, and completely arousing. Knowingly, he simply gives me a wicked grin, lets go and leans up against the bar, crossing his arms across his chest, blocking my view of his defined, ripped chest.

  “There will be so many people here who are dying to see you again, Holden. I know that John Waters wants to talk to you about joining his campaign. He desperately needs a new campaign advisor for his Senate run.” My mom pats Holden on his shoulder before walking back into the house. She pauses, grimacing at the sweat she now has on her hand, and rubs her hands on her pants in disgust. Not quite the same reaction I had.

  Just hearing the Waters name always makes my stomach turn. John Waters and my dad grew up in Woodbridge together, practically running the town by high school. They were always entrepreneurs, starting a food delivery service when they were sixteen that made them their first million by college. After graduating, they both moved to Mantoloking together, where Dad opened his first restaurant and John invested in real estate. Both my dad and John are fun-loving, easy-going people. John’s tall, broad frame and overall handsome looks draw people to him at first sight. He is confident and quick witted like most politicians, but he also demands things his way, and if they aren’t, there’d be hell to pay. Over the years, John Waters has risen from the mayor of a small town to a powerful congressman, with my father, his best friend, at his side.

  “Might be worth looking into. The Waters campaign could be a great move for me right now. I’ve been thinking of changing things up.” Holden pops an olive into his mouth and begins looking around curiously. “Hey, where are the rugrats?”

  “Marcus is bringing them down for the party. He wants to give me a chance to help my parents without them getting in the way.” I don’t want to admit that Marcus has decided he would rather drive to the shore from the city on the Fourth of July than spend the weekend pretending to be in love with me.

  “Oh good. I’ve missed them,” he says, surprising me.

  I laugh, knowing that the last thing a bachelor like Holden would want to do is hang out with children.

  “What? Why are you laughing?” Holden turns back around and stalks towards me.

  “Nothing, Holden. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just know how much attention my kids want from you since they met you. I don’t want them to ruin your fun.”

  Holden surprises me by placing his hands on my shoulders, looking truly hurt. “Do you really think they bother me, Cam? I know I was gone for a while, but I’m here now. I want to make up for lost time with them. You’re the only family I have.”

  My heart skips hearing him talk about us as family. The separation he put between us when his parents died is gone. “I know. I’m sorry. I was just teasing you.” I swipe my finger over his chest, which makes him grip my shoulders tighter. Please don’t let him notice how much I liked that. “Now go take a shower and don’t be late. My mom is going to want to properly embarrass you and Bridgette with introductions to all of Ocean County.”

  He releases my shoulders and runs his hands through his sweaty hair, splashing it all over me.

  “Gross, Holden!”

  He laughs far too seductively and starts back to his house. “Send the girls over when they get here. Tell them Uncle Holden has something for them.”

  I can’t hold back my smile as I watch him athletically hop off the deck. Some harmless eye candy to flirt with is just what I need tonight. It will help keep my mind off my crumbling marriage.

  Marcus arrives with Ellie and Sophie an hour early. I am just walking out of the shower when he greets me with a scowl. “Cam, there you are. I have to make a business call and the girls are going wild. Can they hang with you while you get ready?”

  I can feel my face turn red with frustration. “Why on earth would you have to make a business call on a holiday?” I know it’s not a business call at all, but some young brunette I’ve seen him snuggling at lunch with. I push past him out to see my sweet girls, and get as much distance between us as possible before I do or say anything I will regret.

  “Ellie, Sophie, Uncle Holden wants you to go over to his house. He has something for you.” I glare back at Marcus and give the girls a kiss on their heads, sending them on their way.

  “Uncle Holden?” Marcus asks, rolling his eyes.

  “Yes, Uncle Holden. He has always been like family to us—you know that, Marcus. They have no other uncles. Does it bother you?” Please say yes, please say yes. I couldn’t hide my sarcasm. My sweet kind Marcus has turned increasingly coldhearted to me since he’s decided he wants to be separated. So sometimes I find it just a tad hard to hide my anger. Truth is, I’m sad, desperately sad, and trying to do anything I can to save our marriage on most days, if for nothing else, then for our kids. I’ll do anything to keep them happy and safe. If Marcus and I break up, their worlds would crumble. They love him, and so do I. It’s just so painful to know he has moved on from me and times like these, it’s hard to not take a jab when I can.

  His phone begins to ring, interrupting us. He looks at the number and begins anxiously walking back out of the room. “Whatever, Cam. I don’t care what they call him. I’ve got to get this.”

  I stand there dripping wet, knowing that my husband is talking to that slutty brunette while he is in my parents’ house. I remember a time not too long ago when nothing would have stopped Marcus from dragging me into the back room, seeing me in nothing but a towel.

  The caterers and most of the guests have arrived and the party is off to a great start. It seems as if the entire population of the Jersey Shore is gathered in this one house. Patriotic colors are tastefully decorating every part of the house, with food and cocktails everywhere I turn. My parents are known for throwing the best parties and often hosted some of the most prominent people in the state. Everyone from NY Giants football players to our local politicians attends my family’s holiday parties. The Fourth of July is one of the biggest that they have, and they are always sure to pull out all of the stops.

  Christmas and the Fourth were the only two days my parents close down the restaurant, and it obviously doesn’t matter since everyone is always welcome here with open arms for free drinks and food.

  There is one person I always hope won’t show up to these parties, though, and luckily he never does anymore. I try not to even think of his name any longer, and am only forced to when I run into his parents, who still live in town. Seeing him again would be the one thing that could send me over the edge with everything that has been happening in my life. He has already taken so much from me…my innocence, my safety, my feelings, my heart. I haven’t seen him in a decade and hope I never will again. NEVER.

  Marcus and I spend the better part of the party pretending that things are wonderful between us while we sip cocktails, chatting up all of the guests. He wraps his arm around me when talking about the girls and our life in the city, as if everything is back to normal. I want so badly for our life to be as perfect as Marcus is making it sound, as perfect as I had once thought it was. I have to admit that there’s a small part of me that hopes being here with me like this will snap Marcus out of this funk in our relationship. Being back home, back with our friends could be just the thing that could help him realize what he is pushing away. So I silently sip on a glass of wine, smiling politely at his jokes and lean into him as we sit on the
steps of the deck with a small group of our closest friends.

  “So Cam, when are you and Marcus going to finally move back down here and away from the city? Charlotte needs her best friends closer,” Jess asks us as she stands snuggled between Dave and Joey. Jess and I have been friends since I can remember. She lived down the street from Holden and me growing up, and is the one constant in my life. She saw me through my depression after my innocence was stolen, when no one else seemed to notice or care. Jess has never pushed me to tell her what happened; she just knew I was broken, and helped me try to pick up the pieces. After Holden and I broke up and drifted apart, she never left my side. She has always been there for me, and I have never doubted her loyalty. Jess is lively and outspoken, confident and beautiful. Everything I wish I was, and she acts as if she has no idea of the amazing qualities she has.

  Jess just stands there in all her exotic beauty, snuggling into her husband while he plays with her long auburn hair, unaware of how perfect her life seems. Jess married her high school sweetheart, Dave, right after college and they have a five-year-old girl together. She still lives here in Mantoloking, where Dave is now the town sheriff. They have a marriage that everyone envies. Dave’s soft yet tough demeanor complements the spitfire that is Jess in every way. He keeps her in line when needed…which is more than he probably wishes, but he always has a smile and kiss for her in the end. It’s sweet to see how much in love they still are. Once again, I’m reminded of the fact that Marcus no longer feels that way about me.

  “Don’t give her any ideas, Jess. I don’t know how you can still live here year round. This place is like a ghost town unless it’s summer.” Marcus’s condescending tone doesn’t bother Jess.

  “I remember a time when all you did was talk about moving down here, Marky dear. The city is no place to raise children,” she quips back in her sassy way.

  “Alright you two, that’s enough.” Dave speaks up, not wanting to deal with their bickering that is constant lately. Jess and Marcus used to be close, and now all they do was argue with each other. I haven’t even told her the details of my failing marriage. I can only imagine her wrath when she knows.

  Ellie and Sophie show up just in time, bouncing into our arms with Holden and Bridgette close behind. Holden has his arm casually wrapped around Bridgette’s petite waist, rubbing it sweetly. Jess looks at me, rolling her eyes at Holden’s affection towards his girlfriend. While it doesn’t bother me at all, Jess still hates anyone who Holden brings around, and always has. Jess was ecstatic when Holden bought back his parent’s house, and has been working overtime to get the three of us back where we were before our friendship was lost. I mouth for her to stop it and be nice to Bridgette. In her usual stubborn style, Jess shakes her head no and continues to unabashedly glare a hole through Bridgette’s head.

  Sophie holds up two long thin boxes to me, and I know instantly what they are. I give Holden a frustrated glare.

  Sophie cuts off my impending verbal assault of Holden with her excitement. “Mommy, Uncle Howden gaf us spawklers. We have bowxes and bowxes of dem. He said we have to shawre, but dere awre so many, I don’t cawre that I have to shawre.”

  “Wow, sparklers for a two-year-old. Nifty,” I say, giving my sweet girl a kiss, unable to hold back my smile at her excitement.

  “Don’t worry, Camryn. I told Holden that if he is giving Sophie sparklers, he is in charge of helping her when it’s time to light them,” Bridgette says, noticing my hesitation.

  “Hey, Ellie and Sophie are mine when the fireworks start since my date is ditching me.” He kisses the top of Bridgette’s head as the girls bounce happily in our laps, making both Marcus and I laugh. Jess makes an audible groan.

  “That reminds me, Cam.” Marcus speaks up. “I have to head back into the city tonight too.”

  I sit up, completely taken aback by this. He cuts me off before I can question him in front of our friends. “I totally forgot with the craziness when I got in, but I need to be in the office first thing in the morning.” Bullshit.

  I try to hold back the tears. All of his affection and attention really is just an act for him. Marcus really is moving on. “This will be the first Fourth of July we have been apart. You’ve never had to work on the fifth. Never.” My voice shakes and I try with everything in me to hide the anger and hurt knowing he’s leaving to be with her. He doesn’t need to admit it; I’m not stupid.

  He ignores me and kisses Ellie on her cheek as he stands up. “Come on, girls. Let’s go light a few of these before Daddy has to go.”

  Ellie and Sophie chase after their dad, oblivious of what has just happened. However, our friends are not.

  “Asshat! Are you going to continue to put up with this, Cam? He isn’t the same person anymore. You don’t have to put yourself through this.” Jess doesn’t know the half of my problems with Marcus; she just sees how disconnected he is from our family lately. He never comes down to the shore with us anymore. He doesn’t spend time with any of our old friends the way he used to. He is clearly stepping away from me.

  Joey simply turns towards the bar and begins filling shot glasses. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’d say it’s time to celebrate. Marcus out, Holden in. Just like the old days.” Joey has never been a fan of Marcus. He’s been one of Holden’s best friends since I can remember, and we have always been fiercely protective of one another.

  Dave gives me a sympathetic smile, letting me know that he knows more about Marcus and me than he is letting on. I know he will keep his skepticism from Jess, and that gives me some relief right now.

  Jess holds her hand out to me. “Come on, Cam, let’s have a drink.”

  I force a smile, taking her hand in mine, walking towards the bar. Holden has his hand still wrapped around Bridgette’s waist when he grabs my other hand, helping me up. He looks at me with questioning eyes, as if he is trying to put a puzzle together. I quickly look away, not wanting to feel guilty for keeping all of this from him. Until now I have been telling him my marriage is perfect. I lie every time we speak about Marcus, make excuses for his absence, but now, it seems my friends are on to me.

  “None for me. I have to get going. Thank you for your hospitality, though.” Bridgette surprises us with her quick exit. She turns to Holden and gives him a deep kiss in front of all of us. Jess begins gagging and coughing loudly, pretending as if the sight of them kissing is about to make her barf, and then acts as if something is caught in her throat when Holden shoots her a death glare. A part of me feels bad for Bridgette. I really do like her a lot. But Jess is just so blatantly possessive of Holden, it makes me laugh sometimes. She knows Holden and I will never be together again; she just hasn’t met anyone else she deems good enough for him yet.

  I give Bridgette a warm hug, hoping to reassure her that she is always welcome here. After Bridgette leaves, Jess jumps up and down, clapping. “Now we can get this party started. No outsiders allowed.”

  “Jess, there are about fifty ‘outsiders’ all over this party. Be nice!” I protest.

  “Come on, Cam, you have put up with enough today. Let’s just have fun and ignore the rest of the party. I am officially relieving you of hostess and parenting duties.” She taps the top of my head with her cocktail straw as if she has the power to take all of my responsibilities away. How I wish she could.

  “Says who, Jess?” I ask, rolling my eyes.

  “Says me. Holden here already promised to watch the girls, and I’ll handle your parents,” Jess answers confidently. I can’t help but smile at her insistence.

  Holden takes my hand and leads me up to the bar, nodding his head in agreement. His eyes are still filled with questions I know he wants answered. “She’s right, Cam. We are all here for you. Let us handle everything tonight and you relax.”

  I smile at them all, so glad that I have such a close group of friends who truly love me. They don’t need explanations; they know those will come. They know I just need them right now. It’s a good feeling to know
that as bad as things get, they will be here for me and my girls.

  “To friends,” Joey says, holding his glass high with a white liquor pouring over the edge. I don’t care what I’m drinking; I just want to relax and disappear.

  “To friends!” we all repeat, clinking glasses.

  Jess and I grimace to each other as the warm liquid slides down my throat, making my insides warm. We both giggle, putting our glasses down quickly as if it can make the bitter taste in our mouths go away. “One more, bartender. We have a long night ahead of us,” Jess croaks out, still recovering from the tequila.

  I start to protest, but get a death glare from Jess and think better of it. Jess is right, and I want to forget that my husband is breaking my heart on another holiday to most likely go be with his mistress. Tequila is in order.

  “That’s my girl!” Dave hollers and pushes our glasses over to Joey, who is filling them back up. I try not to look at Holden, even though I can feel his eyes boring into me. It’s like heat missiles are heading straight to my head from his glare. I know he’s only checking to see that I am alright, but it still makes me uneasy. Everything between us before tonight has been so casual and innocent. We have become best friends again, and I have never been happier with our relationship. But the way he is now looking at me makes me uncomfortable. He seems as if it is hurting him to see me this way…to know I am hurting. I know he is angry I haven’t told him about my marriage troubles once in all the time we’ve been together this year.

  Joey must have noticed the death glare Holden is giving me. “Hey, Holden, grab your freaking shot and quit mad dogging Camryn.” He hands me my shot and continues, “What did you expect her to say to us…‘Hey guys, great to see you, my husband is an asshole.’?”