My Royal Pain Quest (The Lakeland Knight series, #2)

by Laura Lond

I expected more arguments, but she took a second to think and lowered the price.

  “Fine, one golden coin.”

  “Deal.”

  Triar entered when I was finishing my breakfast. He carried a large leather bag.

  “I’ve packed some food for you here, stuff that will keep.” He nodded at Cassandra. “How do you like the transformation?”

  I smiled. “Archie and I are getting along great.”

  “Archie, huh?” The hermit shook his head. “If only her father knew.”

  “Knock it off, Triar! The lecture you gave me last night was quite enough.”

  I looked at Cassandra, surprised by her suddenly sharp, imperious tone. I didn’t know she could order Triar around like that… And he said nothing to put her in her place. That was interesting.

  “You know her father?” I asked.

  Triar glanced at Cassandra, who was still frowning.

  “I do. But she’ll bite my head off if I say anything about it.”

  “That’s exactly what I’ll do,” she confirmed. “Shall we get going?”

  Well, I didn’t like it either when people stuck their noses into my affairs. I asked no more questions.

  We saddled the horses, checked and loaded our belongings. Triar came out to see us off.

  “Watch out for Ragnar,” he said. “Remember how well he’d planned his last trap. He is even angrier now. He’ll do all he can to get his revenge.”

  I did not need this reminder. I knew the gormack wouldn’t give up.

  We thanked Triar and bade him farewell. I decided to go back to the creek first, to pick more sourberries. Keeping in mind our destination, it was smart to have a good supply of them.

  “I’ll be picking purple, red, and pink berries,” I said, “and you go after the white ones. We need three times more of those.”

  We started working. Protected by sharp thorns, the berries were not easy to get. It took some time to figure out how to do it: holding a branch up with one hand, we’d carefully remove all the berries from it and proceed to the next. I sorted berries by color as I picked them, placing them into three different pouches. Cassandra didn’t have to worry about sorting, so she was going a little faster.

  “Shall we try them out?” she asked when the pouches were filled.

  “Sure, why not. Which ones do you want to start with?”

  “The invisible ones! I’ve often dreamed about it—you know, walking around without being seen.”

  “That would be very helpful in your profession, wouldn’t it? All right, purple berries… Here, one for you, one for me.”

  Cassandra took the purple berry and handed me a white one.

  “I go first!” She put two berries into her mouth. “Blah! These aren’t called sourberries for nothing…”

  In the next moment she vanished.

  “Is it working?” came her voice out of nowhere. Then a pinecone jumped up from the ground and flew at me.

  “Hey now!”

  I ate the berries as well. The sourness made me wince. Thorns and a terrible taste—no wonder people haven’t discovered the secret.

  I could still see myself, but I looked like a gray shadow. Another shadowy silhouette stood before me.

  “I see you, Archie! You look like a ghost.”

  “So do you!” Cassandra was thrilled. “My, this is great! The invisibles can see each other while no one sees them!”

  “Well, it makes sense. Otherwise we’d stumble all over and bump into each other.”

  “I want to do something! Let’s go back to Triar and scare the daylights out of him!”

  I chuckled. “Sounds tempting, but no. We shouldn’t be wasting time, the prince doesn’t have much of it left.”

  “Oh, look who else is here!” She pointed to my right.

  I turned and saw three small figures marching our way. These were Swirgs, two adults and a boy. Judging by their spectral appearance, they were in the invisible mode as well.

  “Hey guys,” I greeted them. “Who are you hiding from? Us?”

  They stopped, looking up at me with happy grins. One, obviously the leader, saluted me.

  “Hello, Mr. Hero! No, not from you.”

  “Will you quit calling me that?! The name’s Arkus! Got it?”

  “Arkus? Perhaps you should change it. There’s a bad villain called Lord Arkus, you don’t want to be confused with him.”

  “Maybe I do.”

  “Why?”

  “Never mind. So what are you up to?”

  “We are patrolling the valley, checking whether everything is all right. If something needs to be done or fixed, we’ll tell other Swirgs, they’ll come out at night and do it. I am Frederick, this is Baltazar, and this,” he gestured at the little one, “this is Reginald.”

  I couldn’t help smiling. These fellows seemed to favor big, impressive names.

  “Today is Reggie’s first time out of the caves,” Frederick went on. “We’re showing him what it’s like out here, and teaching him how to use saveberries.”

  “We are trying out your berries as well.”

  “Yes, I see that…” the Swirg shot an uneasy glance at Cassandra. “With respect, Mr. Arkus, you shouldn’t be sharing the saveberries’ secret with other humans. The young lady that was with you already knows, and now this man.”

  “Don’t tell anyone,” I said, lowering my voice, “but the young lady that was with me and this man are one and the same.”

  The Swirgs stared.

  “Really?!” Little Reggie stepped closer. “So humans can turn from women into men?!”

  “No, no!” laughed Cassandra. “I’m just dressed up as a guy, because I need to hide from someone.” She turned to Frederick. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us. We understand how important it is to the Swirgs.”

  He gave a slight bow. “Thank you. Well, we’d better get going. We still need to check the northern part of the valley, and then go back and watch those humans down the creek. A rather suspicious bunch, I don’t like them.”

  “Happy patrolling. I didn’t realize Swirgs were so busy.”

  “Busier than usual when Frederick is in charge,” said Baltazar. “He thinks it his duty to spy on everyone who comes here.”

  “Not on everyone, only on strangers, especially if they look like trouble. It’s only wise to…” Frederick suddenly stopped and listened. “Shh! Someone’s coming.”

  I heard footsteps as well. Reggie wanted to hide, but Baltazar reminded him that there was no need since we were invisible. We waited in silence. In a few moments a low hanging tree branch moved aside, and none other than the fake Triar showed up. He passed us, looking straight ahead and walking briskly as someone who knows exactly where they are going.

  “All kinds of strangers roaming about today,” grumbled Frederick, frowning.

  “If I were you, I’d watch this one,” I said.

  “You know him?”

  “Enough to warn you that he is bad news.”

  Little Reggie nudged Frederick. “He must be going to those other humans! See, he is heading that way! And they seemed to be waiting for someone.”

  “You’re probably right. We’d better follow him and check it out.” Frederick turned to me. “Mr. Arkus, would you please come with us?”

  I figured it wouldn’t hurt to see what the crook was up to.

  “All right.”

  We went after the old man, trying not to make noise. He kept walking along the creek for a few minutes, then turned to the right, to a thin string of smoke rising from behind sourberry bushes.

  “There you are at last!” someone greeted him as he walked around the shrubs.

  We followed. A group of rough-looking men sat around a campfire, finishing a meal. They appeared to have been through some kind of an ordeal, sporting numerous cuts and bruises.

  “These look familiar…” Cassandra whispered.

  Now I recognized them as well. They were the thugs from the tavern.

  “We w
ere about to leave,” the same fellow went on, a short dark-haired guy with a split eyebrow. “It’s been several hours.”

  “I said I would come, didn’t I?” the old man replied. “What I’m bringing you takes some time to prepare.”

  “And what would that be?”

  The fake Triar reached into his bag and took out a clay bottle.

  “Here. When you find them, don’t fight; they proved to be better at it than you are. Just splash some of this on each one.”

  The ruffians rose from the ground and stepped closer, curious.

  “What will it do?”

  “Watch.”

  The old man pulled out the cork and poured a drop of white liquid onto a flower that grew nearby. The flower bent down and stiffened, instantly covered with icy crust.

  The thugs backed away in fear.

  “You’re some kind of a wizard!”

  “Never mind who I am.” He put the cork back in and handed the bottle to the dark-haired guy. “Take it. I hope you have enough sense not to use it in public. Find some secluded spot.”

  The guy took it. “All right… So when they freeze up like that, what should we do?”

  “The girl’s up to you. The man must be killed. Help yourself to any of their belongings you like, but bring me his sword.”

  “You realize they are talking about us?” Cassandra asked, tugging on my sleeve.

  “Yep.”

  We kept watching and listening. Judging by the conversation, the imposter had approached the thugs, who were already trying to plot their revenge, and offered to help. They hadn’t taken him seriously at first but agreed to meet here. Now they were impressed, as well as intimidated.

  “Bring the sword and I’ll pay you with gold for it,” the old man went on. “Try to keep it for yourselves or sell it elsewhere and you’ll wish you were never born.”

  The black-haired fellow looked like he was no longer too happy about getting involved in this. “We’ll do as you say, no tricks. Don’t work any magic on us.”

  “I hope I won’t have to.”

  The imposter proceeded to tell them where they could find us, revealing that he knew exactly what route we planned to take to the Tenebrous Valley; I figured Ragnar had to have a hand in it.

  “I will wait for you here a month from now. That should give you plenty of time.”

  With that, he left. I considered following and taking care of the old crook, but having a murder on my hands while on a noble quest could bring complications.

  The ruffians remained silent for a while, exchanging hesitant looks.

  “Well, boys!” the dark-haired guy said with forced cheerfulness. “Are we lucky or what?”

  “I don’t know, Degren…” ventured one of his buddies.

  “You fool! With this stuff, those two stand no chance against us. And if we have some of the potion left, the next several jobs will be very easy.”

  “What are you going to do, Mr. Arkus?” asked Frederick.

  “Well, with the invisible berries, it shouldn’t be too hard to relieve them of that concoction.”

  Cassandra shook her head. “That will not stop them. They’ll get some more, or come up with something else.”

  “You have a better idea?”

  “I think I do.” She turned to the Swirgs. “Can I use a flying berry while I am invisible?”

  “Yes, you can,” nodded Frederick. “They work in any combination. Watch out though, the ten minutes of invisibility are almost up. You need to take another berry for that.”

  “No, I don’t.” She popped a red and a white berry into her mouth. “No time to explain, just watch me and help. Make sure you all stay invisible.”

  The men were gathering leftover food, preparing to leave. Cassandra jumped up, flailed her arms a little, getting used to staying up in the air, then flew over the shrubs and hovered about two feet above the ground, right in front of the thugs.

  “He’s… I mean, she is so brave!” Reggie exclaimed, looking at her in wide-eyed admiration. “What is she doing?!”

  “I guess we’re about to find out,” I answered. “Let’s take another purple berry.”

  Cassandra’s invisibility ended in about twenty seconds.

  “Good day, gentlemen,” she said, showing up out of thin air.

  The thugs gasped, Degren almost fell over.

  “A sparkling!”

  “A gormack!”

  “A ghost!”

  Cassandra crossed her arms. “Neither of the three; worse. But I will not harm you if you behave.”

  Some of the men snatched their weapons, others were about to flee.

  “You are surrounded by my invisible army,” Cassandra warned, flying up a little higher. “I wouldn’t advise trying to use force or to run away.”

  They didn’t heed the advice. Rather unwisely, I might add.

  “That’s where we come into play,” I said to the Swirgs. “Fighters are mine, cowards are yours.”

  We dashed after them. I caught Degren, jerked the sword out of his hand, and used it to knock out another man’s blade. Baltazar tripped a fleeing guy, Frederick picked up the dropped blade. Swirgs, it turned out, could emit bloodcurdling shrieks, which came in very handy. That and the sight of two swords flying around by themselves made the thugs change their mind about fighting, so now it was all about chasing and intercepting runaways.

  The Swirgs proved to be creative and efficient, throwing pinecones, grabbing men’s feet, pulling off boots. One guy tried to crawl under a sourberry bush, but Baltazar chased him out, rattling empty bowls. A big bearded fellow took it into his head to climb a tree, much to Reggie’s delight.

  “Oh, let me get that one!”

  The little Swirg ate a red berry, flew up and shrieked in the guy’s ear, instantly bringing him down.

  I never had so much fun in my life.

  “Seriously, gentlemen,” said Cassandra, still hovering above all this mayhem. “You seem to be battered enough, why do you insist on creating yourself more trouble?”

  How she managed not to laugh was beyond me.

  The thugs gave up at last. They huddled together at the burnt down fire and stared at Cassandra.

  “W-what do you want from us?” asked Degren.

  She lowered herself almost all the way to the ground.

  “You should have started with this question, it would’ve saved time. I come to ask you, how dare you plot against Lord Arkus the Fearsome? Do you not know that powerful spirits are helping him?”

  Degren blinked. “We—we know that, and we never thought of plotting anything! I wouldn’t come near Lord Arkus!”

  “That’s what you get for lying.”

  She snapped her fingers; I picked up the empty pot and slammed it on Degren’s head.

  This time Cassandra bit her lip to stay composed.

  “First you tried to fight Lord Arkus at the tavern,” she went on, “and now you plan to go after him with this silly potion.”

  “That man was Lord Arkus?! We didn’t know, I swear!”

  He appeared to be telling the truth. Cassandra saw it as well.

  “Now you do know. Give me that bottle.”

  Degren hurried to find his bag and pulled the bottle out.

  “Here, take it! I want nothing to do with it!”

  “Good.” She accepted the potion. “Do I understand correctly that you are ready to convey your apologies to Lord Arkus and promise to never bother him again?”

  “Yes! I promise, upon my life!”

  “In that case you may go. And you may take the pot off.”

  The ruffians scurried away. The Swirgs and I could at last let out our long-suppressed laughter. Cassandra joined us, getting down on the ground just in time: her ten minutes of flying were over. Our invisibility ended as well, so she could see us.

  “That was quite a show!” I said, applauding. “Have you ever thought about performing at a theater?”

  “Imagine that, I have, but it doesn’t pay muc
h.” She lifted the bottle. “What shall we do with this?”

  “Let’s take it with us, it might come in handy.”

  “She made them think you’re Lord Arkus, the villain!” Baltazar laughed. “That was smart! Only…” his grin faded. “Aren’t you afraid that he might find out and come after you?”

  “Honestly?” I glanced at Cassandra. “Not a bit.”

  “I had no idea that humans are so much fun!” little Reggie declared, still snickering. “Why can’t we be friends with them?”

  That brought a deep frown from Frederick. “Now, Reggie. Have you forgotten everything you’ve been taught? Humans are dangerous to us. Mr. Arkus here and his friend are a rare exception because they have proved their trustworthiness beyond any doubt. As to the rest, the less they know about us, the better. All right.” He looked his friends over. “Is everyone ready? We need to get going, the queen is expecting our report. Farewell, Mr. Arkus.” The Swirg bowed, turning to me.

  “Farewell,” I nodded. “Archie and I need to get going as well, we are actually pressed for time. Give my regards to the queen.”

  Cassandra and I made our way back to the horses. We had tethered them rather carelessly out in the open, unaware that there was a group of thugs nearby. Fortunately, neither Degren’s bunch nor anyone else had come this way.

  “I was right about you,” I said.

  Cassandra regarded me, looking a little suspicious. “What do you mean?”

  “When I was deciding whether to take you with me or not, I thought you’d make a fun companion.”

  “Oh.” She seemed not to know what to say, which was unusual for her. “Well… thanks. I’m doing my best.”

  We were riding out of the valley when we heard Frederick’s terrified cry.

  “Mr. Arkus! Mr. Arkus!”

  He was flying at us like a strange wingless bird, eyes wide—and desperate.

  “The catchers got Reggie!!”

  I grabbed him as he landed in my arms.

  “Who?”

  “The catchers! Well, that’s what we call them; nobody knows for sure what they are.” Frederick paused for breath. “They’re always prowling about the valley, trying to snatch one of us. Reggie was too excited, he forgot to watch the time. He thought he was still invisible… It happened so fast!”

  “But what do these catchers want with the Swirgs?”