Falling Through Darkness

by Kira Berger

  That shit always works.

  “You little seductress. You like making me lose control, don’t you? Well, let’s see how much you enjoy it.” He growls and kisses me deeply, all tongue and teeth. And I surrender—to the kiss, to tonight, and to him.

  After taking ownership of my mouth, he slows the kiss to a sensual caress, causing my heart to constrict. I can’t believe all the emotions he’s bringing to the surface in me today.

  Once he’s done giving me a kiss I’ll never forget, he starts to kiss my throat. And sucking slightly on the spot below my ear that drives me crazy.

  “Don’t you dare giving me a hickey, mister! I don’t want to have to explain that tomorrow,” I whisper out of breath, causing him to chuckle against my throat.

  “You would look good with my mark on you for the world to see.”

  “You’re such a caveman. I wouldn’t look good, I’d look like a horny teenager.”

  “Well, if the shoe fits…” He chuckles against my skin. “But fine, I’ll just have to leave my mark on you someplace else.” And with that, he continues to kiss down my chest to my breasts.

  Cupping one, he stares for a second as if hypnotized before his head descends, and he licks my nipple, causing it to stiffen even more. Once he’s satisfied with whatever he intended to do, he sucks it into his mouth and gently bites down, which causes what feels like volts of electricity to course through every nerve in my body. My back arches and my hands find their way into his hair to pull him closer.

  “Fuck, yes. Do that again,” I order him, wanting the sensation back. My whole body is wired, like a taut bow waiting to be released.

  “What? This?” And he repeats the move on my other breast. “I see you like your pretty little nipples played with. I’ll have to remember this.” His whisper is seductive and full of promises unspoken in this moment. “But I need to taste you. You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about you over the last week like this, spread out on my bed, and what I’d do to you once I had you here. The list is long, but I’m planning on making a significant dent in it tonight.”

  He moves down my body until he’s level with my pussy, pulls my legs farther apart, and dives right it. He devours my clit, holding my pussy lips open while he licks me. At the same time, his other fingers push into me and stroke my walls, trying to find that one spot to drive me wild.

  The sensation he’s arousing in me is too much, too overwhelming, and I lose it. I grip his hair tightly and grind my pussy against his tongue while a feeling of pure bliss floods through my body. I cry out and shudder, savoring the second orgasm he’s given me tonight.

  “Fucking hell,” I pant, still twitching slightly from the aftereffects. “That was incredible… And I thought it couldn’t get better after the one you gave me against the door.”

  When I look down my body at him, I can see his eyes ablaze with male satisfaction. “We’re not done yet. I still have some fantasies I want to fulfill before tonight is over.”

  With that ominous statement, he moves away from me, leaving me bereft of the warmth he provided me with. I must have made an involuntary noise because his smile is reassuring when he tells me, “I’m only grabbing a condom, gorgeous.”

  He leans toward the nightstand and opens the drawer to grab one before he moves back over me. He rips open the condom and rolls it on. Who would have thought the simple act of rolling on a condom could be so erotic, but the way he grips his dick and strokes it a couple times before he sheaths himself is hot. And even though I’m as turned on as I can possibly get, I bite my lip and imagine stroking him myself, licking him before I help him with protection.

  “You need to stop looking at my cock like that.” His voice is filled with silent laughter.

  “Like what?”

  “Like you want to devour it, like it’s the last piece of chocolate cake you’ll ever be allowed to have and you want to make it last.” His smile is blinding, telling me without words how pleased he is I enjoy his dick this much. “Fuck, I’ll have trouble not remembering this look tomorrow and keep myself from growing rock fucking hard at work.”

  I’m not sure why the picture of him walking around the school with a hard-on is funny, but I can’t help the giggles escaping me. “Well, most in the female population at school would be happy to finally know what you’re packing. From what I hear, speculation has been going rampant for a few years now.”

  He rolls his eyes and mutters, “Those women are fucking nuts.” He shakes his head before he looks back at me. “You better not be breathing a word about my junk to anyone. No need to feed the gossip mill of that place.” His face clearly conveys his irritation and frustration at being the object of the female teachers and student body’s fascination.

  “No worries, handsome.” I lift my hand and gently trace his brow. “I’ve only been here a week, I don’t want to make myself persona non grata just yet.”

  “You’re ridiculous,” he admonishes and shakes his head at what he thinks is me being silly.

  “Mate, you have no idea,” I joke. Being able to joke with him, no matter what situation we’re in, is reassuring and comforting. “Those women would rip me to shreds if they knew. The new chick stealing the most eligible bachelor from right under their noses.” I move my hand to trace his mouth, the one that’s currently slightly tipped up at the corners. “Not that I care, much, I might even take them on for you. Especially if you plan on giving me another mind-blowing orgasm with that big dick of yours.”

  “Well, let me get right on that,” he says in a tone that’s lost all its teasing, but is filled with a promise of things to come, of pleasures to be experienced, and new heights to be explored.

  His hand moves down my body, from my throat across my chest down my stomach until he cups my pussy, leaving goose bumps in its wake. He starts stroking me gently, moving the tips of two fingers through the wetness before he dips them inside of me. I’m still so sensitive from the two orgasms he’s given me my back arches off the bed and my walls clench down on his fingers. His smile is pure sex and male satisfaction, knowing he’s the one who’s causing this reaction.

  My hands, which have fallen to the bed, lift to his neck, my nails digging into his flesh. He’s staring into my eyes while he’s replacing his fingers with his dick. I can feel the tip at my entrance and he slowly enters me. A low grunt escapes me at the sensation.

  I can’t believe how good this feels, him filling me up. Like I’ve finally found a missing piece I needed for me to be whole. My whole life I’ve tried to find this, the feeling of peace filling my soul—like I belong, like I have been found.

  With one last push, Duncan enters me fully and both of us moan at the feeling of perfection. I open my eyes I haven’t realized closed and stare into the blue depth of his, seeing every emotion I’m feeling reflected back at me.

  “Duncan…” I whisper. “Please move.”

  The intensity he keeps looking at me with starts to freak me out. I already feel vulnerable having opened myself up as much as I have today, and his look, like he can see deep within me and read all my secrets, only makes the feeling grow.

  He starts moving then, but his pace is deliberately slow and torturous. And despite the gentleness of his moves, I can feel another orgasm build. This one putting the previous two to shame—how that’s even possible I don’t know. And all the while he doesn’t let me look away but forces me to acknowledge the emotions behind what we’re doing.

  I glide my hands down his chest caressing it, trying to show him without words that I feel it too, this connection we share. It’s powerful and everything I’ve ever searched for—back when I still believed in happy endings—but I’m not sure I’m brave enough to grab hold and never let go.

  I’m not sure I deserve it.

  He gradually picks up the pace, his thrusts growing stronger, but his eyes still hold me captive. He moves onto his elbows, lying his body on top of mine while still moving inside of me, and frames my face.

&
nbsp; “Feel it, Alex. Feel me.” His whisper, not having lost any of its seductiveness, is filled with conviction. Like he’s trying to tell me something. “Fuck, you fit me perfectly.”

  “I’ve never experienced anything like this before.” I’m too far gone in the moment to not be truthful.

  “Me either.”

  But I can’t take it anymore; I need more, I need to come. Taking matters into my own hands, literally, I grab his ass and dig my nails in, trying to make him move faster.

  “Please, faster… I’m so close… I need to come.”

  His only answer is a cocky grin, but his pace doesn’t increase. It’s the most intense thing I’ve ever experienced and looking into his eyes only increases it.

  I can feel it, right outside of my reach but unable to reach it, when his thumb descends on my clit, caressing it. A tidal wave of pleasure engulfs me. I can’t help but break eye contact as it rolls through me, I squeeze my eyes shut while my body experiences the most intense pleasure it ever has.

  When I come back to myself, I realize Duncan is still slowly moving inside of me, prolonging the orgasm that swept through me.

  “So beautiful.” I can barely make out his whisper, but the look in his eyes shows me just how beautiful he thinks I am. Wanting him to come, too, I squeeze my inner muscles around him. “Fuck,” he groans before he fucks me with increased strength before he plants himself deep inside of me and throws his head back in pleasure. I can feel tremors run through his body.

  Seconds later he collapses on top of me, giving me all his weight. It’s slightly hard to breathe, but I relish the pressure of his body against mine. It reminds me I’m still here, still part of this earth, and I haven’t floated away to some unknown realm where only the most satisfying pleasure exists.

  I run my hands through his damp hair, brushing it back from his face, and grin to myself. I’ve never, not in the twenty-six years I’ve been alive, experienced anything remotely like this—and I grew up in France. I’ve had some amazing sex before, but nothing with this intensity, and I’ve definitely never come three times in one night or this hard.

  I can feel his responding smile against my throat. “That was fucking spectacular. We’ll have to repeat this as soon as I’m recovered. So probably in a week.”

  I can’t help but laugh at his silliness. “This is nice,” I mutter through it.

  “Nice?” He sounds almost incredulous which makes me laugh even harder.

  “I mean lying here after the most mind-blowing experience ever and being able to laugh with you. I like it. And I like you, a lot.”

  I might even love you. Which is fucking crazy. I’ve known him for a week, I can’t already be falling in love. But I guess sometimes these things just happen. Serendipity, if you will. The things you don’t look for, or actively avoid, always find you just when you need it.

  Lifting his head, he looks at me with a tender smile, his eyes shining with admiration and something else I refuse to read. “I like you, too, babe. And I can’t wait to do this again.” With that he kisses me before he slowly pulls out of me, the sensation so perfect I groan involuntarily.

  He rolls off me and saunters through a door I assume leads to the bathroom attached to his bedroom. All the while I stare at his deliciously perfect ass walking away from me. I could definitely get used to this.

  I hear the toilet flush before he walks back out and toward a dresser to the side. Opening it, he grabs a pair of gym shorts and pulls them on. Next, he grabs his shirt from the bottom of the bed and throws it at me, hitting me in the face.

  “Hey!”

  “Get dressed. We’re gonna have that glass of wine I promised you, and we’ll watch something on Netflix. We might even order some food before I fuck you to sleep, and we have to go back to work tomorrow.”

  I make a sound of agitation, pretending to be put out when instead I’m elated he wants to spend more time with me. I’m so preoccupied with the strange feelings still floating through my body, I scream in surprise when my ankle is suddenly grabbed and I’m pulled across the bed.

  I rip his shirt off my face so I can try to kill, or at least maim, him with my eyes. All it does, though, is make him double over with laughter.

  With a huff, I pull the shirt over my body and stand up. Thankfully, since he’s so freakishly tall, it hits me mid-thigh and covers all the essentials.

  His laughter cuts off abruptly. “You look good in my clothes.”

  I look at him and notice his eyes are trained on his shirt covering my body and a weird possessive glint is visible in them.

  “Yeah… I might just have to steal it. Now, where’s the wine?”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Once we are equipped with wine, we move to the couch. His living room is spacious with a big, comfortable couch facing a flat screen TV mounted on the wall. A big bay window is looking out into the front yard. I can’t help but stare at it because it’s one of the ones with a bench seat you can sit on comfortably and read or have some coffee while you enjoy the early morning. I can already see myself sitting there enjoying the view.

  “I never expected you to like this movie,” Duncan tells me with a smile, dragging me out of my reverie. Good Will Hunting is cued up on Netflix. It might be an oldie but definitely a classic and one of my all-time favorite movies.

  “Why not? This movie depicts everything we should aspire to in life.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Have you seen it before?” I ask.

  Smiling, he answers, “I have.”

  “Well, I think at its core, it’s about overcoming your fears. I mean, Will grew up in shit circumstances, right? But he’s also a genius with a photographic memory. One of the brightest minds math has ever seen, but he squanders it because he’s afraid and maybe doesn’t think he deserves success. He feels safe in this little bubble he’s created. He ends up defying his circumstances though and grabs onto what life is trying to give him,” I say, not looking at him but the screen, hoping he doesn’t call me out on the hypocrisy of the statement when it comes to myself.

  “It’s also about friendship and loyalty. I mean when Chuckie tells him that for ten seconds each day he hopes Will has left town without a word are the best ten seconds of his life is powerful. Him sacrificing his own needs for his best friend, because he believes he is destined for more than living in Southie as a construction worker.” I can feel him stare at me, but I’m focused on the screen and watch how Will shows his genius for the first time by solving the math problem on the board.

  “You’re remarkable.” I hear him whisper. “But when are you gonna take your own advice?” I knew this was coming. “When are you gonna stop being afraid?”

  “When I start feeling safe…” is my unconscious answer. I can feel I stumped him, made him wonder what I mean by this—whether it’s emotionally or physically safe.

  And thank God, he has no idea what I mean; otherwise he’d be out the door faster than Charlie Sheen can say winning after three lines of coke.

  “What—” he starts to speak, but I interrupt him, not wanting to spoil our night with talk that will bring us down.

  “Can we just watch the movie? Enjoy tonight without bringing up the past?” I look at him, pleading to give in. I’m not ready to share, probably never will be, and if I can help it, he’ll never learn of what I left behind.

  “All right, babe. But know I’m here if you ever want or need to talk.” And with that, he lets it go. Just like yesterday, he knows something in my past is haunting me, but he doesn’t press me for information. He doesn’t grow defensive and demand I tell him. He accepts me for who I am, slightly screwed up with secrets I’m not ready yet to divulge.

  Maybe one day…

  Instead, he grabs my glass, moves it out of the way before he wraps his arm around me to pull me into him. Just like yesterday, he slouches into the corner of the couch, his feet up on his coffee table with me pressed into his side.

  He hands me my wine with
out looking at me, his eyes trained on the screen, watching Will screw with one therapist after another.

  “You know, this was my mom’s favorite movie. We used to watch it all the time, at least twice a year if not more,” I say, deciding to share some of my happy memories. “My mom was the best. She’d use this movie to give me advice on things. Not that I ever followed it, but she tried. Plus, we’d get drunk watching this while Dad and Oliver were off somewhere pretending they were trying not to bother us.” The memory still makes me laugh. The men were more like hiding somewhere; my mom and I could get obnoxious when drunk.

  “She sounds amazing.”

  “Yeah, she used to tell me that what people see as imperfections are actually the complete opposite. Those imperfections are what make us, and the people around us, special. And that I shouldn’t strive to be perfect, but find someone to share my life with, someone perfect for me just as I am perfect for him.”

  “That’s good advice. Did you listen to it?”

  “Most definitely not. At least not for a long time. I thought I found someone who was perfect for me but turns out he was just hiding and pretending to be someone he wasn’t. Then there’s this one guy I work with, he might be perfect, but the jury is still out on that one. It depends…”

  “Depends on what?”

  “How many more orgasms he can give me tonight,” I tease him, trying to lighten the mood. And it works if the rumbling laughter I can hear above me is anything to go by. I can feel his whole body shake with it, and with me lying half on top of him the vibrations run through my whole body, nearly lulling me to sleep.

  We continue to watch the movie, comfortable with one another and not feeling the need to fill the silence, which is the best kind of togetherness. Being able to just be without filling the void with endless chatter about nothing. To just enjoy the silence, let it speak for itself, savor the moments because they are fleeting and shouldn’t be taken for granted.

  “Oh,” I say on a near shout. Sitting up, I tell him, “This is my favorite scene ever. I get goose bumps every time I see it. Robin Williams is simply amazing.” Riveted, I watch how the character Sean schools Will on how inexperienced he is when it comes to things like love. How he doesn’t have an answer to everything.