All That Lies Within

by Lynn Ames

  When Rebecca was completely naked, Dara raked her eyes over her body. “Now that’s what I call the perfect Christmas present.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  “Open it.” Dara vibrated with excitement. She nudged the small wrapped box toward Rebecca.

  “Now?” Rebecca asked. She sat in front of the large makeup mirror and put the finishing touches on her makeup. “I’ve never been to a big movie premiere. I don’t want to be late.”

  “I promise you, we won’t be late. The limos won’t even be here for another twenty minutes.”

  “Surely this can wait.”

  Dara caught Rebecca’s reflection in the mirror. “At Christmastime you couldn’t wait to open your present. Now you want to get all shy on me?”

  “What’s the rush?”

  “You’re going to need what’s in the box to complete your outfit for tonight.”

  “I am?”

  “Absolutely.” And if you don’t hurry up and open it, I swear, I’ll open it for you. “You look perfect.” Dara wrapped her fingers around Rebecca’s hand and stopped her as she tried to apply lip gloss on top of her lipstick. Her eyes pleaded. “Open it, please.”

  Rebecca put down the gloss and picked up the box.

  By now, Dara was used to the care with which Rebecca did everything. She stifled the urge to bounce on the balls of her feet. Finally, she could stand it no more.

  Dara leaned over and kissed Rebecca’s fingers as she pried them off the box. She ripped off the paper to reveal an elegant black velvet jewelry box, which she palmed as she swiveled Rebecca to face her.

  Dara turned the box toward Rebecca and opened it. “Rebecca Minton, I have waited all my life for you and I want to spend the rest of my days walking hand-in-hand with you by my side. Please, Rebecca. Will you marry me?”

  “Will I…?” Surprise registered on Rebecca’s face, then she looked down at the open box and back up at Dara. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She put a trembling hand to her heart.

  “Will you marry me, sweetheart?”

  “I—” Rebecca’s voice shook. “You’re all I ever wanted. You’re all I’ll ever need. Yes. Yes, I will marry you. Absolutely, yes.”

  “Yes?” Tears streamed down Dara’s face and she thought vaguely that she would have to fix her own makeup.

  “Oh, yes.” Rebecca rose up and wrapped her arms around Dara’s waist, kissing her deeply. With their lips still touching she repeated. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

  Dara pulled back from the circle of Rebecca’s arms, carefully removed the 3-carat diamond ring from its velvet nest, and slipped it onto Rebecca’s left ring finger. It fit perfectly and Dara said a silent prayer of thanks.

  “Now you can add the lip gloss.” Dara grinned broadly.

  “Not just yet.” Rebecca kissed her again.

  Mindful of the time, Dara extricated herself. “You’re the one who was worried about being late.”

  “Right. Do I need a wrap?

  “We won’t be outside long. Besides, I like looking at your hot body.” And Rebecca did look hot in an elegant Versace gown with a plunging neckline and an open “V” back. She ran her fingertips over Rebecca’s exposed skin. “Are you sure you’re okay riding in a separate limo with Carolyn?”

  “We’ve been over this, sweetheart. It makes perfect sense for me to arrive with Carolyn. This is your moment on the carpet. The paparazzi are going to go wild. You’ve never arrived at a premiere with a date. Now is not a good time to break precedence.”

  Dara frowned. She knew Rebecca was right, but she didn’t like it. A car horn sounded at the gate and she entered the code to let the limos in. Then she sat down and repaired her makeup. “How do I look?”

  “Like a glamorous Hollywood movie star,” Rebecca said, encircling her waist from behind.

  “Always good to look the part.”

  “You don’t need to play a part, darling. You are the part. You look amazing. As always, you take my breath away.”

  Dara waggled her eyebrows. “Oh, no. Not yet. I’m planning to do that later.”

  “I sincerely hope so.”

  Dara answered the knock on the door to admit Carolyn.

  “Wow. You two look incredible.” Carolyn’s eyes traveled down and settled on Rebecca’s finger. She looked from Rebecca to Dara and back again. “Something you want to share?”

  Dara shoved her toward the door. “Rebecca can tell you all about it in the car on the way to the theater.”

  Dozens of flashes erupted and television camera klieg lights lit up the evening as the driver opened the door to the limo. Rebecca, whose limo had arrived minutes earlier to no fanfare, watched from a safe distance at the entrance doors to the famed Grauman’s Chinese Theater, now the TCL Chinese Theater. “Who sells naming rights to one of the greatest landmarks in the history of Hollywood?” Rebecca idly mumbled.

  Dara stepped out of the car with the help of the driver, revealing a long expanse of leg. Somehow, she managed to glide flawlessly down the red carpet, although Rebecca imagined that the lights must be blinding her. Microphones were shoved in her face. And she paused a few feet from the entrance to chat with a television reporter.

  “This is Entertainment Tonight, coming to you this Friday evening, May 17, 2013, from the much-hyped premiere of On the Wings of Angels. With me is the star of the film, Dara Thomas. Dara, there’s already Oscar buzz around this film, including the possibility of a Best Actress nod for you. What do you think about that?”

  Dara smiled dazzlingly. “I think we ought to at least see the movie first, don’t you?” She nodded graciously to the reporter and took a few more turns while posing for all the cameras, then she was whisking past Rebecca and Carolyn. Surreptitiously, she brushed her fingers against Rebecca’s thigh on the way by.

  Rebecca shuddered, then turned and followed behind at a safe distance.

  She and Carolyn found seats a few rows behind Dara, Sam, George, and the studio executives.

  “Are you nervous?” Carolyn whispered.

  “About the movie or the engagement?” Rebecca whispered back.

  Carolyn laughed. “Both, I guess.”

  “If you’re asking if I’m sure I want to marry her, the answer is I’m more sure of that than my own name.”

  Carolyn smiled. “I’m so happy for both of you. She was a wreck, you know. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her that panicked, except for maybe when we pulled up outside my place and she learned she was going to have to come face-to-face with you the day the studio brought you in.”

  Rebecca allowed her puzzlement to show. “Why in the world would she be nervous about asking me to marry her?”

  “I think she wasn’t sure you’d say yes.”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Not in the least.”

  “How could she not know that?”

  “She hates that she can’t hold your hand in public, or proclaim you her fiancée. She doesn’t want you to have to hide the relationship, either. It’s not fair to you and she doesn’t want to saddle you with a life like that. She knows it’ll be hard.”

  “It’s already complicated and hard. But I understand. Right now the timing is just wrong. I don’t have a problem with it.”

  “But she does. Don’t you see? It eats her up inside. It never bothered her before not to say anything about her sexuality because there was nothing to say. It wasn’t like she was dating anyone. It was a non-issue. Now, she wants to be who she is. She’s incredibly proud of you.”

  “And if our relationship had come about under different circumstances, she’d be holding my hand right here in this theater, but it’s too complicated and too easily misconstrued.”

  Two women hugged Carolyn and sat down in the two seats she’d been saving. “So glad you two could make it.”

  “Are you kidding? We were thrilled to get the invite from Dara.”

  “Let me do the introductions here. Renée Maupin, Yahzi Begay, this is Rebecca Min
ton. Rebecca, this is Renée and Yahzi.”

  “How do you do?”

  “Nice to meet you both.”

  “Renée grew up with Dara and me. Yahzi is her wife.”

  “Ah. Then it’s truly a pleasure to meet you.” Rebecca turned to Carolyn. “Does this mean I get to hear all about what you and Dara were like as kids?”

  As Rebecca pretended to rub her hands together in glee, the next teasing question died on her lips. Renée was looking at Carolyn with something akin to panic. Rebecca leaned close to Carolyn and whispered, “I’m sorry, did I ask something I shouldn’t have?”

  Just as Carolyn was about to answer her, the lights started to dim.

  “I’ll explain later.”

  “It really is nice to meet you,” Rebecca said quickly to Renée and then her focus turned fully to the screen.

  Her stomach did a flip. As she’d told Carolyn, she wasn’t nervous about marrying Dara, far from it, but seeing the movie for the first time was a completely different matter.

  Dara had seen the Director’s Cut back in late January, but that was just a preliminary version shown to a select audience to gage what more needed to be done to get the picture ready for wide release. And no matter how Rebecca tried to wheedle the information out of her, Dara wouldn’t tell her what she thought of the first screening.

  Next week, the film would open around the country. The box office from that first weekend was crucial to determine how well the film was received by the public. The studio had been promoting the movie heavily, and Dara was scheduled to do The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon on Tuesday. Reviews from advance press screenings would appear in the LA Times, Variety, The New York Times, and dozens of other newspapers and online outlets in conjunction with next weekend’s opening.

  Rebecca’s knees started to bob up and down, a sure sign of stress. There was so much riding on all of this.

  Then the theater went completely dark and the opening credits rolled and she lost herself in the world of Celeste and Harold. It was all there on the big screen, everything she dreamed and hoped it would be. Tears streamed down her face as the music swelled and Celeste walked away from Harold for the last time.

  When the house lights came back up, the theater was completely silent. Rebecca closed her eyes as her heart sank. And then it started. First it was a wave of applause, then whistles, and finally a standing ovation. She sprang to her feet along with everyone else, yelling, “Bravo, bravo!”

  She watched as Dara, Sam, and George turned to face the audience, joined hands, and took a bow. Rebecca’s heart burst with pride.

  Then Dara looked directly at her, her eyes glistening with tears, her smile radiant, and they might have been the only two people in the room. She mouthed, “Thank you.”

  Rebecca gave a small nod of acknowledgment and blushed, understanding that the words came not only from Dara, but from Constance, as well. How on Earth did I get so lucky?

  “How did I get so lucky?” Dara stroked the side of Rebecca’s breast.

  “Is that a rhetorical question?” Rebecca turned toward Dara and pulled her on top, running her fingers over the supple skin of Dara’s back.

  “You know we don’t have time to make love again, right?”

  “Uh-huh.” Rebecca kissed her shoulder.

  “Sweetheart, how bad would it look if you missed the faculty processional at graduation and I was late to the podium to receive my honorary Doctor of Arts?”

  “Killjoy.”

  Rebecca pulled Dara’s lower lip into her mouth one more time, and Dara’s insides melted again. She rolled to the other side of the bed before anything more happened.

  “What are you doing all the way over there?”

  “You’re the one with a king size bed. Why do you have such a big bed, anyway?”

  “Saves on having to have more bedroom furniture.”

  Dara laughed. “Ah, very sneaky.”

  “You know, if you came out as Constance today you could get a two-fer.”

  “Oh? How so?”

  “A Doctor of Arts for Dara and a Doctor of Letters for Constance. How cool would that be?”

  Dara reached over and mussed Rebecca’s hair. “You’ve lost it.”

  “Come on. It’s genius.”

  “Hey, genius,” Dara said, turning serious. “Have I told you today how much I love you?”

  “I love you too, baby.”

  “When we were sitting in the theater last week and the audience reacted so strongly at the end of the movie, all I wanted was to tell the world that the movie was only that good because you fixed the script.”

  “I wasn’t up there on the screen, darling. You and Sam were phenomenal. It was pure magic.”

  Dara cupped Rebecca’s cheek and choked back a sob. “Thank you, for bringing Constance’s vision to life. I don’t know what I would have done if I had to go through with making the movie Cal wrote. It was breaking my heart.”

  “I know. I could see that. It’s why I fought so hard for the changes.”

  “You know I was listening to that entire exchange, right?”

  “What exchange?”

  “The one that very first day between you, George, and Cal. I was ready to jump up and rip Cal’s throat out.”

  “You were, eh?”

  “I really was. I was so proud of you for standing your ground.”

  Rebecca shrugged. “Constance needed to be heard. I was her voice.”

  “That’s what you were thinking?”

  “It was.”

  “Wow. Just, wow. After the way I treated you the night before—”

  “We’re not going there, sweetheart. Let’s stay right here, in this moment, where I’m lying in bed naked and well loved by my gorgeous, indescribably talented fiancée, who is about to receive an honorary doctorate from my college. How proud am I?”

  “You know, there’s something I never told you.”

  “I’m guessing there are a lot of things you’ve never told me.”

  Dara’s breath caught and a wave of guilt washed over her. She flashed back to a recent discussion with Carolyn.

  “You can’t let her marry you and not tell her about the rest of who you are. You have to tell her you see and talk to dead people.”

  “I will tell her. I promise.”

  “When?”

  “Not right now. When the time is right.”

  “You have a love child stashed somewhere?”

  “What?” Dara shook herself from the reverie. “Very funny.” Dara swatted Rebecca lightly on the arm. “I’m serious.”

  “Okay. What is it?”

  “Many years ago, when I was a young, aspiring writer and just before my acting career took off, I applied to attend the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference.”

  “You… What?!”

  “I applied to Bread Loaf.”

  “As Constance?”

  “No.” Dara shook her head. “Constance didn’t exist back then. Dara Thomas applied.”

  “You’re serious.”

  “I am.”

  “Did you go?”

  “I would’ve, except they rejected me.”

  “They…” Rebecca paused and cocked her head to the side. “I’m sorry. I could’ve sworn you said they rejected you.”

  “That’s because they did.”

  Rebecca sat straight up. “Middlebury College’s Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference rejected Constance Darrow’s application?”

  “No.” Dara drew the word out. “They rejected Dara Thomas’s application.”

  “Same writer. Same talent. Of all the moronic, idiotic… Oh, my God. Do they know they did it?”

  “You mean is there a record of it?”

  “Yes.”

  Dara shrugged. “I have no idea what kind of record keeping they do on applications they turn down.” Dara could see Rebecca’s wheels spinning.

  “What was your writing like back then? Do you remember what you sent them?”

  “Why?”

>   “Please tell me you didn’t send them anything that eventually ended up being published under Constance’s name.”

  “Oh.” Dara hadn’t considered that. If something like that ever came to light, either Dara would have to come out as Constance or be accused of plagiarism either as Constance or Dara. What a mess that would be.

  “No. I was so distraught about being turned down that I was convinced my writing was horrible. I burned what I sent them in a ritual in my backyard. As far as I know, I never kept a copy of it.”

  “Thank God,” Rebecca said.

  “You know, when I received your very first letter, I remember saying out loud that I wouldn’t hold a grudge against you just because your school gave me the cold shoulder.”

  “I’m very glad you didn’t hold me responsible. Especially since I wasn’t here at the time.” Rebecca kissed Dara’s forehead. “How ironic that now they want to give you an honorary degree. Guess you get the last laugh.”

  “Guess I do, but I don’t think I’ll be telling them the story any time soon.”

  “No. I’d recommend against that.” Rebecca glanced at the bedside clock. “And now we really do have to get going.”

  “Last day of school, Professor.”

  “Last day of school, and I get to spend my summer vacation with you.”

  “Perfect. Care to shower with me?”

  “Always. Very environmentally friendly and I hear this is that kind of campus.”

  On the way to the bathroom and with her conversation with Carolyn still top of mind, Dara considered and discarded a half dozen opening lines to ease into the discussion about her childhood. Somehow, the time just didn’t seem right. I’ll tell her soon; maybe over the summer when we don’t have any distractions.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  They were on time in the end, just barely. Rebecca marched in wearing her hood and robe with the other professors and Dara, having marched in at the front of the parade with the other degree recipients, got to watch. She sighed contentedly from her spot on the stage. She could see Rebecca beaming at her from the left side front row when she collected her hood and degree. Thank God I didn’t trip.