Sweet on You

by Katana Collins

  “I’m so glad we’re doing this,” James said, taking a seat and opening his menu. “I don’t think I’ve ever been on a double date with Veronica Tripp.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Hello? Prom… senior year? Does that count for nothing?”

  “Honey, that does not count,” James snorted. “First of all… that wasn’t a double date. I was your date. And neither of us was getting laid at the end of the night. So, yeah. Definitely doesn’t count.”

  I laughed, remembering how James came to the hospital and asked me to be his date to prom while I was still hideous and hooked up to IVs and fluids. Frankly, I think he was the only person my mother or brothers would have allowed me to go to prom with, anyway.

  “You two have known each other since high school, but never double dated before?” Lex asked, pointing a finger back and forth between us.

  “We’re victims of circumstance,” James said, shrugging. “We’ve never been dating people at the same time. She was with He Who Shall Not Be Named and I was in my noncommittal stage at that time.”

  Nate leaned over the table, pretending to whisper to Lex, “That means he was in his manwhore stage, by the way.”

  “Ah,” Lex nodded. “Most of us have gone through that stage, right?”

  “Not me,” I said, taking a sip of wine.

  Nate raised his hand. “Me neither.” We high fived like the nerds we were and laughed from across the table.

  James rolled his eyes. “Anyway, we’ve met each other’s boyfriends… but never while we each had our own. So…” He held out his hands as though presenting our whole table. “Tada! First ever double date in eleven years of friendship.”

  “Impressive,” Lex’s brows lifted and he winked at me, resting his arm along the back of my chair.

  “I think you mean pathetic,” I snorted, taking another sip of wine. Lex eyed my glass and took a drink from his own soda water.

  “Hey,” he said quietly, tugging on one of my curls. “Careful. That’s my girlfriend you’re talking about there.”

  I sputtered, nearly spitting up my sip of wine, but instead it went down the wrong pipe. It was the first time he’d ever called me his girlfriend. And we hadn’t really talked about it. Not since he brought up the L word. Jesus, we went from claiming to want to move slowly to going at warp speed. As I kept coughing, bits of red wine dribbled down my chin and onto my white shirt.

  Lex rubbed his hand in circles over my back. “You okay?” he said through my coughing fit.

  “Yeah,” I held up a finger and pointed toward the restrooms. “I’m just going to go clean up a bit.”

  I excused myself and rushed for the bathrooms, taking a few extra minutes to splash some water on my face. After washing and dabbing at the red wine, it was pretty obvious that that stain wasn’t coming out. I sighed, but then again, losing a shirt wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Even if it was one of my favorites.

  I tossed the paper towels in the trashcan and tugged on the door, exiting the bathroom. Standing right in front of the door was James. His muscular arms were folded, eyebrow arched, and his toe tapped impatiently. “Okay,” he said, his deep voice low but booming. “Spill.”

  I blinked innocently. “What?” I asked.

  James rolled his eyes. “Nate is keeping Lex company chatting about the building purchase. You’ve got three minutes to tell me why you’re acting like a crazy person out there.”

  I sighed and filled him in quickly on what happened last night. “And then he calls me his girlfriend tonight without us even talking about it! What if I was seeing other people? What if I didn’t think we were exclusive?”

  “Well, are you?”

  “Am I what?”

  James rolled his eyes again. He was a master at the eye roll. “Seeing other people.”

  “No, of course I’m not.”

  “Exactly. Ronnie, girl, I love you, but you need to move on from these hang ups you’ve got. A guy calling you his girlfriend isn’t something to get angry about. A man telling you he is falling in love with you is a good thing, usually. Why are you treating it like it’s bad?”

  “Because I’m terrified,” I hissed. “Because he’s not respecting the boundaries I asked for when I said we needed to take it slowly!” I was whispering now.

  James shook his head. “You two had sex on your first date, right? And you were the one who initiated that by dragging him up to your room?”

  I buried my face in my hands. “Yes.”

  “And you called him to come over again the next night?” I nodded and peeked at James through my fingers. “And the night after that?”

  “Well… we had a training session scheduled so we just hung out after.”

  “Maybe you’re also sending some mixed signals? Ever think of that? Just because he’s the one voicing his feelings doesn’t mean you’re not also being confusing.”

  I sighed, my eyes fluttering closed. “I just… I can’t go through what happened with Brandon again.”

  James winced and pulled me into a hug. “I know. But are you going to run every time a man starts to fall in love with you? If so, you’re going to be running a lot. Because you Ronnie Tripp are very lovable.”

  I snorted and rolled my eyes, wiping below them to make sure none of my makeup had smeared.

  “Despite what you seem to think of yourself, it’s true,” James added. “Just… give the guy a break. He didn’t say I love you. He said he was falling in love with you. There’s a difference, you know.”

  I nodded. “I guess. I’ll talk to him… just, maybe not tonight. He’s sleeping at his own apartment tonight. You know… the baker in him has to wake up at the crack of dawn and bake all the things before they open.”

  James offered me his elbow which I took as we walked back to the table. “As if you don’t also wake up at the crack of dawn. Don’t think I don’t see your Track My Run app on Facebook. You’re up at four in the morning most days.”

  We got back to the table and I slid into my seat next to Lex. He offered me a small smile. “Everything okay?”

  I pushed my bottom lip out, gesturing to my shirt. “I ruined my favorite shirt.”

  He mirrored my exaggerated pout. “I’m sorry.”

  I shrugged. “It’s okay. It’s just a shirt.”

  “I-I’m also sorry for calling you my girlfriend,” he added with a quick glance at Nate and James, who were chatting about the menu. “It just sort of slipped out, but I know that on top of last night…” His words faded and he blew out a breath through tight lips. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable with me.”

  My heart surged in my chest. The last twenty-four hours hadn’t felt like us. It felt like the old us… not the Lex and Ronnie who talked things through and told each other everything. I reached over beneath the table squeezed his hand. “It’s okay. I don’t want to date anyone else… and I’d rather you didn’t either.”

  A smile flicked on his lips and my eyes wandered over his unruly auburn hair. “There’s no one else I want to be seeing, Ronnie. It’s you. It’s always been you.”

  I lifted my glass of water, intentionally choosing it instead of my glass of wine, and held it up to Lex. “To my boyfriend?”

  He grabbed his soda water and tapped it to the edge of my glass. “To my girlfriend.”

  I still wasn’t quite ready to say the L word… but I did want to be his. I leaned in and kissed him gently.

  From across the table, we heard a collective “Awww!” and each looked to find James and Nate staring at us from behind their menus.

  “Although, you know it’s bad luck to cheers with water, right?” James whispered.

  Lex laughed and set his water down. “Trust me, for me it’d be worse luck to cheers with alcohol.”

  Nate rolled his eyes. “That’s my husband. Always putting his foot in his mouth.”

  I smiled, unable to help the joy blossoming in my chest. At least half of the burden had been lifted off my shoulders… for now.

/>   23

  Ronnie

  I walked the aisles of the baby store, followed closely by my mom and my sister, the metal handles of the basket pinching my arm.

  It had been two days since Lex had mentioned the ‘L’ word. And one day since we had officially claimed each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. Which, at my age, felt a little strange. But even still, that L word tickled the back of my brain.

  “Why are we doing this again?” Callie asked, picking up a package of diapers and tossing it haphazardly into my basket.

  Mom and I shared a speedy look and I rolled my eyes. “Because we care about Lex and he’s nervous about his first day with Olivia,” I said. “And it’s the nice thing to do.”

  “And… cause he’s your boytoy? Ouch!” She barely got the phrase out before Mom pinched the back of her arm, sending me a wink.

  Mom lifted the diapers Callie had tossed in the basket, examining them. “I can almost guarantee that he won’t have some of the stuff that he is bound to need. This little care package will hopefully help get him through his first night with Olivia a little easier.” She held up the diapers to me, her brows cinching together in the center of her face. “How old is she again?”

  “About a year and a half.”

  Mom rolled her eyes, putting the diapers back on the shelf. “Callie, these are for six month olds. Would you want to wear undies that were ten sizes too small for you?”

  Callie laughed, but shrugged. “Sorry, baby stuff isn’t my thing.” She reached for another package of diapers, but mom stopped her, grabbing another brand instead.

  “Let’s get these instead. The mothers who work at the hospital with me swear by these leak guard flaps.”

  “Yeah, but those are a dollar more per package,” Callie said.

  “A dollar more is a small price to pay after the first time your baby ruins her clothes and yours with explosive diarrh—”

  “Okay!” Callie said, tossing the leak guard diapers in the basket. “You win. Leak guard it is!”

  Mom smiled triumphantly as we made our way further through the store, grabbing a changing pad, wipes, pacifiers, and some other knick knacks. Mom froze in the middle of the stroller aisle, staring up at the car seats. “Does Lex have a car seat for her?” she asked.

  I winced. I doubted it. “I don’t think so. This all happened so fast, I think he suspected he’d have more time to prepare.”

  Mom exhaled a deep breath. “Above everything else, that is going to be the priority. What if something happens overnight and he needs to take her to the hospital?”

  God, I hadn’t thought of that. “Maybe her grandparents will let him borrow theirs?”

  Mom nodded, but continued staring at the car seats. “Maybe. But those things are a pain in the ass to take in and out of your car. He’s going to need one, eventually. And a stroller too.”

  “Mom,” I exhaled a heavy breath. Buying him some small baby gear items and diapers as a gift was one thing. But strollers and car seats were hundreds of dollars. “Let’s not get carried away. Give Lex some credit. I’m sure he’s thought of some of these things.”

  Mom tore her gaze away from the car seat and smiled at me. “Maybe you’re right.”

  Callie cleared her throat. “Between you, me, Steve, Yvonne, Cam, and Lydia, we could all chip in and get it for him as a gift,” she said. “When I talked to Lydia this morning she said they wanted to get him something, too.”

  My sister. For all her bellyaching, she was such a softie.

  “That’s settled, then,” Mom said, grabbing the car seat she’d been eyeing, and I couldn’t help but be the one who rolled my eyes this time. As if she’d ever been planning not to get it for him. I was certain she was planning to wait until after I left and then she would have snuck back in here, bought it, and delivered it anonymously to Lex.

  “Shouldn’t we call Cam and Steve and make sure they’re on board—”

  “Nonsense. I’m certain they are. Oh, that reminds me, I have a bag of Maddie’s old clothes to give Lex as well.”

  “I’m sure Olivia has clothes already at her grandparent’s house,” I said, lifting an adorable stuffed cat that looked a lot like Frost and was softer than a cloud. I tucked it into my basket.

  “Oh, sweetie. You’ll be amazed at how fast these little ones outgrow their clothes. Plus, if this arrangement continues with the back and forth between grandma’s house and Lex’s apartment, they aren’t going to want to pack her a suitcase of clothes with each visit. It will be easier for him to have the staples at home, ready to go.”

  “I didn’t even think of that,” I said. “He only has a one-bedroom. Where is Olivia going to sleep?” Where would we sleep if I stayed over while he had her? And if he was going to get full custody… that would be literally every night.

  Holy crap. I was feeling overwhelmed already and it wasn’t even my kid. I couldn’t imagine how Lex must be feeling right now.

  “Oh, honey,” Mom wrapped an arm around my waist and tugged me into a hug. “These things have a way of working themselves out. When your dad and I first had Cam, we only had a small one-bedroom lodge. You’d be surprised at how well little ones can sleep in their pack and plays or on the floor when they’re old enough. And I’m sure he’s already considering upgrading to a two-bedroom.”

  “Yeah. Yeah, he probably is,” I said, even though I didn’t quite feel comforted just yet. To my right, there was a set of tiny knitted booties. They were literally smaller than the size of my palm and a lump lodged in my throat as I remembered Maddie being that tiny when I held her in my arms on the day she was born. I remembered staring down at her little puckered lips as tears streamed down my face. Because for the first time, I knew what it felt like to love someone immediately, without really knowing them or having even met them before. That feeling was surreal and amazing.

  I wasn’t sure why, but when Mom and Callie were distracted with the car seat, I grabbed the booties and put them in my basket. I knew they wouldn’t fit Olivia, but I was so drawn to them. I needed them. They reminded me that I wanted that feeling someday… for myself. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be a mother, but I did want it.

  And for now, maybe that was realization enough.

  24

  Lex

  I paced my apartment for so long that if I was a cartoon, I would have worn away the carpet. I closed down the bakery at 3:00 today, half an hour early which was fine since I had sold out of almost all of my baked goods anyway.

  Linda and Bob were due to arrive with Olivia any moment. My first night with my daughter. Alone.

  My heart slammed against my ribcage. I had no earthly idea what I was doing. I didn’t know how to be a father. I had spent the morning googling How to entertain a fifteen-month-old.

  For the record, Google was not that helpful.

  The doorbell rang and icy nerves slithered down my spine. They’re here. I ran down the stairs to let them in, and as I swung open the door, I found Ronnie standing there, a basket hugged against her body, a bag swinging from her arms, and a giant box sitting at her feet.

  “Ronnie,” I said, startled. “What are—”

  “I wanted to give you something. A little baby shower gift, if you will.”

  My eyes widened as I took the basket from her, peeked inside and found an array of baby items: pacifiers, diapers, baby wipes, toys—even a stuffed cat that looked just like Frost.

  Bending, I kissed her, all my nerves shifting into a different sort of butterflies in my stomach. I cupped her jaw, stroking my thumb over the swell of her cheek. “I don’t deserve you,” I said.

  She smiled. “The basket is from me. The car seat is from my family—Mom, Steve, Yvonne, Cam, Lydia, and Callie. Oh, and I guess Noah. At least in spirit. If he were in town, he would have been in on it too.”

  I lifted the car seat box. “I didn’t even think about needing this,” I said. Shit. How could I have overlooked something so obvious?

  “Truly, it was my mom’s id
ea,” Ronnie said, shrugging. “She said that you should have one here permanently. Especially in case there’s an emergency.”

  “Your family is the kindest, Ronnie. Thank you so much.”

  I turned, leading her upstairs to my apartment and as we slipped inside, I started looking closer at the gift basket. “Kids need a ton of stuff, huh?”

  Ronnie exhaled a breath. “Dude, you have no idea. That store this morning was overwhelming as hell. I’m sure most of stuff in there isn’t really needed, but the choices alone are intense.”

  She handed me the paper bag as well. “More?” I asked.

  “Not really. It’s some of Maddie’s old clothes that Cam had saved in his attic. Some hand-me-downs for Olivia. My mom and I washed them already, so they’re good to go.”

  My brow wrinkled as I pulled out lavender overalls and held them up. They were so tiny, I couldn’t help the smile that curved my mouth as I ran my hand over the little Oshkosh symbol at the buttons. “I’m sure Olivia has clothes already,” he said. “But even still, this is so nice.”

  “Believe me,” Ronnie said, already in the process of helping me empty the diapers and toys into the corner of my living room. “I gave my mom the same argument you’re giving me right now—apparently, you’re going to be happy you have a wardrobe for her the first time she throws up or something.”

  I cringed. “Bloody Christ. She’s probably absolutely right.”

  I reached into the basket and pulled out a weird, rolled-up bit of vinyl. I held it up to the light as though the change in angle would somehow tell me what the hell I was looking at. “What’s this?”

  “A changing pad,” Ronnie said, taking it gently from my hands and putting it with the other diaper things in the corner. “Apparently, it takes up far less room than an actual changing table.”

  I grabbed some of the food items and put them away in my pantry—these weird pouches of pureed vegetables and fruits. Huh. I’d just sort of thought she’d need bottles. It didn’t occur to me that she’d be eating real food yet. At the bottom of the basket was a book. The Everything Guide to Single Parenting—Toddler Edition. I held it up, grinning. “You think I need a little help, do you?”