Sweet on You

by Katana Collins

  Mr. Murphy nodded. “I can only imagine what she did to you, too.”

  “That being said, I understand why she’s concerned… but I’m different now. And I hope that whatever the outcome is with this trial, whether she’s out tomorrow or in a year, that she can be a parent to Olivia, too. I’m not trying to take her away from Sarah—”

  Mr. Murphy gave a humorless laugh and shook his head. “She was never a parent. She doesn’t want Olivia for herself,” he explained. “She just doesn’t trust you to have her.”

  I thought about that for a moment, letting it sink in. “So… she wants you two to keep raising Olivia?” They nodded. “Because she doesn’t trust me…” More nodding. “Or herself?”

  Their nodding stopped, and Mrs. Murphy’s head tilted in thought. “I never thought of it that way.”

  “We just assumed she didn’t truly want to give up her party lifestyle.”

  That could certainly be part of it, but even though they knew Sarah her whole life, I had an understanding of her choices that they could never have. Sarah was an addict. Just like me. But she’d had her addiction even longer than I had. “Maybe,” I said, glancing down at Maddie. Now wasn’t a good time to get into the details of addiction with them. So, instead, I opted for a more PG-rated comment on the matter. “If she can get clean and stay clean. Do tests like I do, I wouldn’t be opposed to a joint custody situation with her.”

  Mr. Murphy’s eyes snapped to mine. “You would do that?”

  From beside me, I heard Ronnie’s sharp inhale, and she pressed her lips together in a tight line. “Maddie, why don’t we go finish off that chocolate caramel cake?” Maddie nodded as Ronnie shuffled her back to the table we were at before.

  “Yeah, I would. If I can stay sober, she can, too. It’s not easy. I can’t even imagine trying to detox in county jail. She must be miserable.”

  I looked up to find Mrs. Murphy crying and I reached out a comforting hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make things worse. Just… having been through it, I feel for her. Despite all the bad things she’s done.” I paused. “Do you… do you think Sarah would come to NA meetings with me? There’s a local chapter about twenty minutes away. I go once a week.”

  Mr. Murphy shrugged. “She might. She’s always said she wanted to get sober and stay sober… but it just never happened.”

  Ten thousand dollars was a lot of money. It was two-thirds of what I’d saved for the down payment on this property. I swallowed hard. “What if… what if I bail Sarah out for you? It’s one less burden on you two. If she wanted to move to Maple Grove, she could even help me with the bakery, help with Olivia. And I can be there for her to help her stay clean.”

  Mr. Murphy blinked rapidly, looking from me, to his wife, then back to me again. “You would do that?” he asked again.

  “I said it to you the first day we met… I’m not here to take Olivia away from any of you. Sarah included.”

  “We’ve barely trusted her to be home alone with the baby for the last year. What makes you think she can change?”

  I took a deep breath. I needed to tread carefully here. This was a sensitive subject and the last thing I wanted to do was imply that they couldn’t help Sarah in the same way I could. I couldn’t just run my mouth and go off on them with the stats I’ve learned from my Narcotics Anonymous group. The very fact that they didn’t trust her? That they probably never left Olivia alone with her? Was probably part of the reason she kept falling off the wagon. “I think she can change… because I did. If I can do it, then she can too. I believe in her. Having someone who’s been through the process can make all the difference. It’s why we’re assigned sponsors in NA.”

  Mr. Murphy blinked, his eyes darkening as he leveled me with his steely gaze. If I had to, I would bet that he wasn’t often challenged by the people in his life. But this was one topic I was certain I knew more about. Without a doubt. “Would you be her sponsor?”

  I shook my head. “Probably not. I think we have too much history. We’re too connected. But I can still be here for her, and we’ll find her a sponsor nearby that she can rely on.”

  “Well,” Mrs. Murphy sniffled and clapped her hands together. “I’m touched that you would consider bailing Sarah out, but…” she shook her head. “We can’t ask you to do that.”

  “Why not? We’re family now. This is what family does. No matter what happens, Sarah is my daughter’s mother. You are my daughter’s grandparents. We might not be a conventional family… but we’re still family.” I sighed, looking around my bakery, a million thoughts swarming my head. “Besides, as long as she shows up for her trial, I get my bail money back, right?”

  Mrs. Murphy dabbed at her eye. “That’s right.”

  “Okay, then,” I said, a finality in my tone of voice. “I just need a few days to get some things in order and I’ll go to the jail and bail her out next week. Just… make sure she shows up to her trial date.”

  “You know that’s a fifty-fifty chance, right?”

  I took a deep breath. “I’m willing to bet on her.”

  “Right,” Mr. Murphy said, his voice deeper, more gruff. But something had shifted between us. There was more respect as he held out his hand for me to shake. I took it firmly and he pumped it once. “We should get going, then.”

  “Keep me posted on the meetings next week.”

  He nodded, but said nothing more as he backed toward the door.

  Mrs. Murphy leaned over, giving Olivia a kiss on the cheek. “Have a goodnight, baby girl.” The lines on her brow deepened and I noticed her eyes were a little more moist than they had been a moment ago.

  “We’ll Facetime you before bed,” I said, and as we waved goodbye to Nana and Pappap, Olivia’s eyes welled with tears.

  Would there ever come a time that she’d accept this as home? That she’d think of me as Dad? Even though the Murphys and I made strides today, I couldn’t help but feel a little heavier than I had before they’d arrived.

  30

  Ronnie

  On Sunday night, I spent the night at Lex’s. Not that this was anything new. I’d spent almost every night there for the last three weeks. Occasionally, he would come stay at my house, but with Olivia, and him needing to wake up to be at the bakery by 4:00 a.m., it didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And I understood. He was still treading very carefully with the Murphys, and rightfully so. I saw firsthand what he meant when he said Mr. Murphy was a bit skeptical of him.

  We’d had the whole weekend together, and we even had one night off when we drove Olivia up to spend the night at her grandparent’s house. A date night. Our first date night without the little rugrat in weeks. It was sexy and amazing and yet… by Saturday evening, I found myself missing her sweet little face. We even made sure Seth was able to run the bakery on Sunday morning so that we could spend the day with her at my mom’s lake house.

  But the whole week, I was uneasy, remembering what Lex had said about Sarah. About inviting her to live in Maple Grove… to be part of our lives. Of course, logically, I knew she’d be a part of our lives. She’s Olivia’s mom. But did it have to be here? Did he have to offer to let her live here in my home town where he and I were trying to start a life together?

  The thoughts swarming in my head kept me awake for hours Sunday night.

  Monday morning, Lex had woken up without me, slipping out of bed before the sun was up. It gave me the chance to “sleep in.” The sounds of Olivia babbling over the baby monitor stirred me awake and I blinked, bleary eyed, stretching my arms overhead, and glanced at my cell phone. Five forty-five. It wasn’t all that much earlier than when I usually woke up at six on my non-running days. Even still, it was amazing how much of a difference fifteen minutes could make.

  I climbed down from the loft, heading into Lex’s bedroom… although now, I suppose it was more like Olivia’s bedroom.

  “Morning sweet girl,” I said, climbing into Lex’s large bed. Rolling onto my side, I tucked one of Lex’s pillows
under my arm and closed my eyes, inhaling. It still smelled like him even though I hadn’t seen him sleep in this room in weeks—like a combination of masculine soap and a hint of vanilla.

  “Hi!” Olivia squealed and waved.

  I laughed, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, and stood, putting her glasses onto her face. My heart squeezed as she beamed up at me. Her condition wasn’t too detrimental. Sure, she needed glasses, but lots of people did. Even so, she needed them because of her mother. Because of her mother’s selfish choices that she knew were bad for her baby.

  “How’d you sleep?” I asked her. She babbled a response that I couldn’t understand, but I placated her with several “Uh-huhs” and “Oh, reallys.”

  I loved how happy Olivia was when she woke up. Unlike Maddie, who used to scream and cry every morning, Olivia seemed to wake with a mellow smile. And she seemed pretty happy to play in her crib for a little while. Long enough that I could usually get a shower and have breakfast made.

  Penny gave a sleepy yawn and hopped off the bed as Frost headbutted him in their morning ritual. Generally, Lex and I seemed to have lucked out with the little ones in our lives—both two-legged and four-legged. Penny was such a good dog, he rarely needed to go out immediately. Usually he was lazier than me, and I had to drag him out for his morning walk.

  I lifted Olivia out of her crib and balanced her on my hip, making my way into the kitchen. My eyes were still half-closed. As I reached the kitchen counter, I paused and smiled. Sitting there was a freshly brewed pot of coffee and a napkin-covered scone. I recognized Lex’s handwriting scribbled on the napkin:

  Raspberry scone—Coconut flour, Honey, Raspberries, and Lemon. Enjoy!

  I broke off a piece and held it out for Olivia to try. She opened her mouth, taking a nibble, and those eyes—Lex’s eyes—went wide as a smile broke out along her face. I laughed as she made the ESL sign for ‘more.’

  “It’s good, huh?” I patted my belly. “Yummy?”

  “Yummy!” she repeated.

  I laughed again and kissed her cheek, handing her another bite of scone before sitting her into her high chair and grabbing a bowl to prep some rice cereal.

  “Your daddy is quite the catch, Olivia. Do you know how lucky you are that he’s your daddy?”

  “Dada?” she looked around the room, holding up her hands in a shrug. “Where dada?”

  My breath caught in my throat and a million butterflies swarmed my stomach. “What did you just say?”

  She didn’t answer me, though, and instead started playing with some leftover Cheerios on the table of her high chair.

  My breath was heavy, my heart slamming in my chest, as I rushed into the other room searching for my phone. Penny followed at my heels like this was the most fun game in the world. I finally found it on the coffee table, pulled up a picture of Lex, and returned to the kitchen. “Olivia, who’s this?” I asked pointing to the picture.

  “Dada!”

  Tears sprang to my eyes. “Oh my God. Oh my God!”

  I picked her up and hugged her, running to the door. Not thinking, I threw it open, running carefully down the stairs with Olivia still in my arms.

  “Lex!” I burst into the café, tears streaming down my cheeks and Lex ran over to meet me.

  “What? What’s wrong?” He grabbed Olivia out of my arms, inspecting her.

  “Everything’s fine, everything’s fine!”

  He put a hand to his heart and squeezed Olivia to his chest. “Jesus, you scared me. What’s going on?”

  I beamed, unable to contain my excitement. Hell, I hadn’t even put shoes on… But he’d already missed so much in Olivia’s life—I couldn’t let him miss this moment. “Olivia,” I said carefully, “Who’s this?”

  “Dada!”

  Lex gasped, seemingly frozen before his slack jaw shifted, lifting into a smile. His turquoise eyes filled with moisture and he sniffed, kissing Olivia’s forehead. “That’s right,” he said, his voice cracking. “I’m your Daddy.” He blinked, looking at me. “How… when did she say that?”

  “I told her she was lucky to have you as a daddy and she just… she just said Dada! Then she asked where’s dada, and I showed her your picture, and she pointed and said dada again.”

  Lex barked a laugh, holding Olivia up and swinging her playfully in a circle. Some moments, it sounded like he was laughing, and others, it sounded like he was crying. But either way, it was the sound of total and utter joy.

  “Thank you,” he said and wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me in for kiss. It started slow, but soon, our lips lingered over each other’s.

  “I told you she’d get it. She’s a smart little girl.”

  He kissed me again.

  “Lex,” I whispered, pulling back from the kiss. I fought against the tears in my eyes and my heart was so achingly full that I thought it might burst right out of my chest, cracking a rib in the process. “I’m falling in love with you,” I said, grinning. I bit my bottom lip to stop it from trembling as a tear slipped down my cheek.

  “I know,” he responded and curved his hand around my jaw. “And I’m honored to have your love, Ronnie.”

  It was fast… in some ways. But in other ways? It had been a long time coming. Two years in the making.

  Someone behind us cleared their throat, and for the first time since I came running down the stairs, I remembered we were in Lex’s café. His very open café. I turned slowly around and caught a glimpse of three people in the café. Granted, three people wasn’t a whole lot… but in Maple Grove? That was enough that everyone in town would know Lex and I were in love by lunch time.

  And what was even worse? One of those three was Cam.

  His face split into a grin, and I had to hand it to Lydia… since she entered his life, he’d been a different man. The sight of his little sister kissing a man and clearly having slept over at his house normally would have catapulted him into protective, big-brother mode. But now? His sheepish smile lifted and he tapped his credit card to the counter.

  “We’re all really glad you two are in love… but some of us need our morning coffee, ya know.” I rolled my eyes, taking Olivia from Lex’s arms. “Also, pretty sure that’s a health code violation,” Cam added, pointing at my bare feet.

  I stuck my tongue out at him before heading back upstairs. Lex caught my hand just as I reached the door, stopping me. “Dinner tonight? To celebrate?”

  I groaned. “I can’t. I have dinner plans with Callie.”

  He kissed me gently. “Cancel,” he whispered.

  “I would, but I’ve already canceled dinner with her twice.”

  He pulled back, smiling. “Oh, okay. It’ll just be us tonight! Just Daddy and Liv, isn’t that right?” She giggled against him and I smiled. That smile reverberated down to my belly. I was happy. So damn happy in a way I don’t think I’ve ever been in my life.

  31

  Ronnie

  After taking Penny for a walk, Olivia and I packed up a diaper bag and headed out to the doctor’s office where Kandi was already waiting for us. We each did our intake forms, and they weighed and measured us and asked us to give urine samples. I went in for my physical first, where I found out I was a little anemic, which made sense. I’d been so tired lately. And now, Olivia and I waited for Kandi to finish up.

  After another twenty minutes, Kandi came out, her expression one of total shock—eyes wide, mouth open. Her skin was pale, and dark circles framed her big, brown eyes. “Kandi?” I asked. “You okay?”

  She shook her head. “I-I’m pregnant.”

  “What?” I whispered.

  Kandi nodded, but didn’t look me in the eye. “It’s… oh, my God. I need to go. I need to go talk to Ben.”

  “I thought you and Ben were broken up?” I asked and immediately cringed, regretting my question.

  “We were… but…” She sighed, rolling her eyes with a shrug. “You know us. We got back together a couple days ago.”

&nbs
p; I didn’t say anything more. “Do you need a ride?” I asked, shifting Olivia to my other hip.

  Kandi shook her head, moving toward the door, then paused, rushing back to me and crushing me in a bear hug. “Thank you,” she said.

  “For what?”

  “For making me come today. Who knows how long I would have waited to get myself checked out.”

  Olivia started fussing in my arms, wiggling to be put down. I tucked her back into the stroller and she immediately began screaming. Kandi’s eyes widened, fear and terror glistening in their depths. “Go,” I shouted over Olivia’s cries. “Go see Ben.”

  She didn’t wait for me to say it again before running out the door. I bent, looking Olivia in her eyes and spreading some Cheerios out on her stroller tray. “You couldn’t have waited two minutes before screaming like that? You just scared off a mother-to-be.”

  Olivia shoved the Cheerios in her mouth and then did the sign language symbol for more.

  “Let’s go get you some real lunch first.” I pushed her stroller out the door and headed for Elsa’s diner, texting Lex where we were going in case he was able to sneak away once Seth was there and the crowds calmed down.

  I slid into the booth in the farthest corner and pulled out some toys for Olivia to keep her busy. Unfortunately, those toys didn’t work for long. After a few minutes, she was fussier than ever. Her stuffed cat wouldn’t calm her. Reading books wouldn’t calm her. I even got us a plate of French fries because I knew they would come faster than the actual meal I ordered for us to share… and fries were one of her favorite foods to gum on. Not even the promise of salty, mushy potatoes worked.

  While Olivia was crying and fussing, her hand wrapped around the straps of my purse, and it went flying off the table, scattering its contents across the floor by our feet. With a sigh, I bent to clean up the mess, which I quickly discovered included a handful of condoms.