Accidentaly Divine

by Dakota Cassidy

“Do you still have family in Texas?”

  Looking down at her flat shoes with shiny buckles across the top, she shook her head. “No one worth noting,” she offered gruffly.

  “You were an attorney, right?”

  Her lips thinned and her eyes narrowed. “I was.”

  “Did you enjoy your work?”

  Her slender shoulders lifted upward in a shrug. “I liked it well enough. Put away a bunch of hooligans, some worse than others, in my time. Paid the bills. That’s all that matters in the end.”

  As per usual, Effie and her standoffish ways prevented much in the way of personal conversation, but she was trying to heed Dex’s advice to listen between the lines.

  “Do you ever miss Texas, Effie?” she asked softly.

  Effie sighed, and it wasn’t a wistful sigh. It was one of aggravation. “What’s with all the questions, young lady? Just book me the flight, would you?”

  Okay, she might be an “angel,” but she didn’t have to be an angel who got tossed around like some dog’s chew toy. “You’re making that very hard to do, Effie. You’ve given me zero in the way of specifics, you won’t tell me what you want or don’t want. I’m not risking my Yelp rating for you to come back from that trip and give me a big fat zero, lady,” she only half-joked.

  “What the hell’s a Yelp rating?” she snapped, the wistful expression on her face all but gone.

  “Never mind. What I’m trying to say is, I just want you to be happy. That’s part of my job. To help you guys plan fun trips and events here at the village that will leave you all happy.”

  Effie looked at her for a long time, looked right through her as though she might say something profound that would give George some insight into what this grumpy old woman needed, before her lips went thin and she said, “Happiness is overrated.”

  George reached out to put a hand on Effie’s bony shoulder to ask her if everything was okay, not a move she’d normally make where this prickly woman was concerned, but there was something about her today that felt off.

  No sooner had she touched Effie’s shoulder than George felt the world tilt, much the way it had when she’d felt Carl’s emotions the other night.

  Stunned, she backed away a bit and tightened her grip on her tote bag. A deep, gnawing pain crept into her chest, burrowing against her heart. Loneliness, sharp and bitter, swept over her, leaving George feeling empty and desperate.

  “Oh, Effie,” she whispered, her voice trembling, unable to craft a word for what was happening to her insides right now. Incapable of forming the words that would soothe the kind of inexplicable pain Effie was in.

  Effie jerked her shoulder from George’s touch and frowned. “What the hell is wrong with you, girl?”

  But a compulsion George couldn’t ignore overwhelmed her. She needed to—had to—take Effie’s hand in her own. Reaching out, she latched onto the woman’s cold fingers, letting Effie’s bony flesh rest against her palm.

  Effie tried to pull away at first and then without warning, she stopped struggling, her eyes meeting George’s in wonder for mere seconds before fear crept into them and she gasped, yanking her hand away and shaking her head.

  She pressed trembling fingers to her mouth, her eyes wide, and then she yelled, “I don’t know what the hell that was, Georgina Maverick, but you get out of my apartment now! And don’t come back! Get out!”

  Crap. Raising her hands to soothe Effie, she reached out to her again. “Wait, Effie! Please. If you’ll just listen to me, I can help you!”

  But Effie swatted them away with sharp slaps. “Don’t you touch me again, girl! Get out!” she hollered, loud enough to make someone bang on her door.

  “George! You in there? What the fuck is going on?”

  Hearing Nina’s voice outside the door, she began to back away, all the while trying to soothe Effie. “I’m sorry, Effie! I didn’t mean to frighten you!”

  Lo and behold, with those words, as Effie was plastering herself against the wall farthest from George, wouldn’t you know it—her wings appeared.

  Like, wham-bam-alacazam, they just appeared on the floor at her feet. Their feathery, mother-of-pearl goodness plopped right there from out of thin air.

  Sure. Now, when she was terrorizing a little old lady, they decided to effortlessly appear?

  “What’s happening?” Effie screamed, curling her gnarled fingers into her colorful scarf, her slight body trembling.

  Indeed, what the frack was happening? George vaguely wondered as she stumbled to pick up her wings, which, if anyone was asking, weighed what felt like a million pounds.

  Realizing she had no choice, as she attempted to drag them to her and sling the straps over her shoulders, a warm heat began to tingle in her fingertips, much like the one she’d felt when she’d glowed for the first time at her house.

  Oh, no.

  No, no, no!

  But yes, yes, yes. As though someone had switched on a flood light, George caught sight of herself in the shiny refrigerator, glowing like a neon sign.

  If Effie wasn’t terrified enough already, she was sure to be on the verge of a heart attack by now.

  Then there was the crash of the apartment door seconds before someone from behind her screamed, “Ahhhhh, fuck all! Goddammit, Wings, turn yourself off!”

  Shit! Nina’s vampire eyes, the burn, blah, blah, blah.

  “I don’t know how! Cover your eyes!” she yelped as feathers flew from her wings, leaving her helpless to do anything but—well—glow.

  “Fuuuck!” Nina bellowed. “I can’t see a damn thing!”

  “Give me your hand!” George ordered, pulling Nina to her and guiding her toward the wall. “Lean back and stay put!”

  Nina did as she was instructed, but when George turned to check on Effie, everything quite suddenly stopped.

  Her glow was gone and so were her wings, sending her springing into action.

  Effie huddled in the corner of her barren apartment, shaking like a leaf.

  “Oh, Effie! I’m sorry. Let me explain!” she exclaimed as she made her way toward the woman, but she cringed, pushing her body against the wall.

  “No!” she cried out, her tone filled with a high-pitched anxiety she couldn’t hide. “Get out of here! I don’t know what you are or what kind of games you’re playing, but get out!”

  Nina had somehow gathered herself and grabbed at George’s hand. “You, stay the fuck put. I’ll fix this.”

  Horror washed over George. Nina, fix this? How? By scaring Effie into submission with threats of shitting from her throat?

  “Wait!” she almost screamed, but then she saw again how terrified Effie was, and she lowered her voice. “Let me handle this, Nina. Please.”

  Nina, her eyes bloodshot from the light of George’s glow, shook her head and gripped her shoulders. “Fucking trust, okay? Just chill the hell out and let me handle this.”

  She didn’t wait for George to give her permission. Instead, the vampire knelt in front of Effie and helped her stand, using a gentle hand and a warm smile.

  A warm smile.

  George looked around to be sure the apocalypse wasn’t on its way.

  “Who…who are you?” Effie managed in a shaky, terrified voice, yanking her hand from Nina’s as though she’d been burned.

  But Nina put her fingers to Effie’s temple, leaving her eyes looking glazed over. “My name is Nina, Effie, and I’m going to make you feel much better. I promise.”

  “Better?” George squeaked, hovering behind Nina, who was easily five inches taller than her. “By better, do you mean,” she stood on tiptoe and whispered, “dead?”

  “Of course I don’t mean dead, dipshit. Jesus and a chicken wing. Shut the fuck up, Fly Girl, and let me do my damn job,” she growled, running her lean fingers over Effie’s temples while the woman stood silent, her mouth ajar.

  But George took her job very seriously. Even if Effie was horrid and mean, she wasn’t going to allow anyone to hurt her.

  She gr
ipped Effie’s arm. “Effie, are you okay?”

  Nina used her hands to manipulate Effie’s head and make the woman nod. “I’m fine, you pain in the ass,” Nina said in her best old lady voice. “Now, go the fuck away.” Then she rubbed Effie’s temples again. “So you’re going to listen to Nina, right, Effie?”

  Effie licked her lips, her skin pale, her eyes glazed and shiny. “Yes. Yes, I’ll listen.”

  “Okay. Then listen closely. You don’t remember anything after George talked to you about booking a trip to Cabo. You never saw her glow. You never saw her angel wings. She’s still the same old George she’s always been and everything is just like it was before I busted into your house. Do you understand? Nod if you do.”

  Effie, as if a robot, bobbed her head quite mechanically. “I understand,” she muttered.

  Nina smiled down at her and nodded her approval. “That’s good, Effie. So you feel fine. You don’t remember anything and everything’s going to be great, okay?”

  Again, Effie nodded, her arms hanging limply at her side.

  “That’s good, Effie. Now, when I snap my fingers, you’re going to wake up and everything’s gonna go back to normal. Right?”

  “Right,” she mumbled as George watched, her jaw unhinged.

  This was crazy, but before she had the chance to say as much, Nina snapped her fingers together and backed away, pushing George back, too.

  Effie’s eyes were suddenly wide and mostly bright again as she looked at the two women. “Who are you?” she asked Nina with an angry tone, taking in the beautiful vampire with a hair net and one of the white coats they wore in the kitchen.

  Nina grinned at her warmly, catching George off guard yet again with her compassion. “Hi, Effie. I’m George’s friend, Nina. I came to mooch a ride home from her. I’m new here. I work in the kitchen. What’s your favorite flavor of Jell-O?”

  Effie looked confused and caught just as off guard as George, but she answered, “Lime. My favorite is lime.

  Nina grinned again. “Then you come see me sometime, and I’ll sneak you an extra one, okay?” Then she held out her fist for Effie to bump, and sure enough, Effie complied.

  Awkwardly, with a strange look on her face, but she knocked fists with the vampire and attempted what George thought might be a smile, but turned out looking more like a grimace of pain.

  “Thank you… I think,” she murmured, cupping her jaw as she stared at Nina, likely in awe of her incredible beauty. Even in a hairnet and a baggy white coat, the vampire was flawless.

  Nina winked her gorgeous dark eye. “You betcha, Eff. Now, we have to split. I’ve got a kid I need to get home to and George here has a dog who needs her. It was nice meetin’ you. Don’t forget to stop by the cafeteria kitchen and I’ll hook you up.”

  “I will. Thanks… Um, thanks again.” She then turned to George, her sour puss restored. “You’ll let me know about the trip and the details?” she asked curtly.

  George hiked her tote over her shoulder and nodded with a smile. “I’ll email you sometime tonight with some options. All you have to do is pick one. Take care, Effie.”

  With that, she and Nina departed, closing the door firmly behind them and heading to George’s car.

  As the snow began to fall again, they trudged outside, the silence between them heavy and George didn’t know why.

  When she beeped her car open, Nina leaned on the roof, pulling off her hairnet, and finally spoke. “What the fuck was that in there?”

  George sighed. “I could ask you the same. What the fuck did you do in there and why were you there to begin with?”

  “Because I’m on wing-watching duty. You’re not allowed to be alone. Remember? Bad guy? And what I did in there is a vampire thing. I just erased her memory. I don’t like fucking doing it, but you scared the shit out of her. So instead of leaving her balled up like a fucking shriveled, freaked-out lump of human flesh, I did the next best thing. Made her forget. Now again, why the fuck were you revealing your angel wings?”

  Of course she could erase memories. What couldn’t Nina do?

  “I can’t dance,” Nina responded on a cackle.

  George’s hand went to her head in a defensive reflex, as though Nina had climbed into her brain and plucked out her thoughts. “You can read minds? Jesus. Get out of my head, Vampire Lady!”

  Nina flapped a lean hand at her and snorted. “Whatever. I don’t do that very often either. Anyway, get on with this shit. What happened?”

  “Effie’s my assignment, Nina.”

  “Oh,” she said, biting her lower lip. “Oh, shit.”

  “Oh, shit what?” George asked through the curtain of snow falling.

  The snow landed on Nina’s head, if anything making her more beautiful than ever as it covered her dark locks in a fluffy cap.

  She tapped the top of George’s roof. “Do you know why she’s your assignment? Did you get any fucking explanations about her sitch?”

  Alarm bells rang in George’s head. “No. Why?”

  “Because I did.”

  “And?”

  “And she’s dying.”

  Well, damn.

  Chapter 10

  “So she can read minds and erase memories?” Dex asked her as they made their way into the local convenience store to grab some bread Arch insisted was only available at this small neighborhood grocery store.

  They’d offered to go out and grab it, giving them the chance to talk before dinner.

  He’d already given George the business for not taking him with her to talk to Effie, and he was right. She shouldn’t have gone to see her alone. Especially due to the fact that Effie’s circumstance was dire indeed—even if she might not have known that but for Nina. Still, it was impulsive and reckless, and she thanked her lucky stars Nina was able to erase what she’d seen.

  George stopped in her tracks in the parking lot, dusted with the earlier snowfall, and gave Dex a look. “She can. I’m telling you, Dex, it was nuts. She said she doesn’t do it often and it’s frowned upon, but useful in times of extreme stress. Obviously, it helped. Poor Effie might have had a heart attack after seeing me glow like a football field at a night game. Oh, and on the ride home, she told me she can fly.”

  Dex’s eyes twinkled under the parking lot lights. “Amazing, isn’t it?”

  George frowned, still unsure if she was amazed or terrified. “It’s a combo pack of amazing and terrifying. I don’t know what to do with all this new information. I don’t know if I can process it all at once.”

  Dex grabbed her hand and grinned his “everything’s going to be right as rain” smile. The one that made the grooves on either side of his mouth deepen. Pulling her toward the door, he motioned for her to enter before him.

  “It’s been a lot. I know, and I’m sorry there’s no easier way to do this so you’re not in a constant state of shock. But I promise you, pretty lady, it won’t be long before this is all no big deal—even someone who can fly.”

  Had he just called her pretty?

  George fought a blush. Knock it off, Maverick. You have bigger fish to fry. Namely, Effie Sampson and the idea she’s dying and you have to help her do something before she does and if you don’t find out what that something is, you’ll have failed.

  Again.

  George’s stomach tightened and rolled. Even though she didn’t know the details about when, or what she was dying from, knowing Effie was dying upset her. She didn’t have anyone that George knew of who could be with her. No family. No friends. Maybe that was all she was supposed to do?

  Stay with Effie until the end? Which she’d gladly do without qualm.

  Ignoring Dex’s compliment to focus on the task at hand, she passed the young boy at the cash register and stopped in the row filled with various sundries like fabric softener and toilet paper, and gave him a look.

  “Is flying ever not a big deal, Dex?” she whispered, looking around to be sure no one heard her.

  He rocked back on his heels and
chuckled, driving his hands inside the pockets of his puffy vest. “That’s a fair point, but you’ll see. Someday, you’ll take each new revelation in stride. In the meantime, what kind of headway did you make with Effie?”

  George snorted. “Do you mean when she was snarling at me or when she was snarling at me?”

  “She’s definitely unhappy, but at least now you know why. I might snarl, too, if I knew I was dying just after I’d retired from putting a bunch of bad guys away.”

  That made George pause. How had Dex become an angel anyway? She had a million questions about it, but it felt like inviting more stuff she couldn’t process, so for now, she left it alone.

  Either way, he had a valid point. “Do you think this trip she wants to take is like one last hurrah? I mean, who could blame her? If I were dying, I’d want to go somewhere warm and tropical with white sandy beaches, too, I suppose. She doesn’t have any family that I know of, but what does this have to do with me being her guardian angel, and why hasn’t Titus gotten back to you with deets about her?”

  Dex shook his head. “I don’t know why I can’t get in touch with him. It’s very unusual. Though, I know he’s been busy lately. Either way, he’s never very far.”

  She held up her cell phone. “Is there a hotline? Somebody upstairs I can call who can guide me so I can properly guide? 1-800-Pearly-Gates or something?”

  Dex looked past her and clucked his tongue with a chuckle. “No hotline, but let me keep trying to find Titus. Until then, you’re just going to have to feel your way around Effie.”

  “Oh, great,” she said on an exhale. “Do you think you’ll find him before or after Effie makes pate out of my liver and eats it on wafer-thin crackers.”

  “With fava beans and a fine Chianti?” he teased with a wink.

  She waved a finger under his nose the way she’d always done before she knew what and who he was, but being this close to him had a different vibe now. One she was going to do her damnedest to avoid.

  She’d discovered she really wanted to get this one thing right. Just this one thing, and helping Effie was the start. It felt like she’d been given a purpose, and she didn’t want to screw it up with emotions best left alone for the time being.