Goatly Goings On
Page 18
“I’ll thank you to keep your lips off my ‘usband,” Soula told her.
“The goat wouldn’t have needed rescuing if yous and mother hadn’t meddled with it,” Pedros accused Nitsa, correctly suspecting the pair of them had duped him into putting the goat in the boat.
“Ave yous been fiddling with one of my goats?” Bald Yannis accused Nitsa, waving the chainsaw menacingly and suspecting he had perhaps condemned Quentin too quickly.
Things were just about to get heated when the Pappas came out of his semi-comatose state. Looking fondly at the villagers he said, “How good of you all to come and visit me, it means so much to me that you care. What good parishioners I have, I must offer a prayer of thanks.”
“That blow to the ‘ead ‘as sent him peculiar,” Bald Yannis observed. “That’s the first time I’ve ever ‘eard him say a nice word.”
“It’s very odd,” Masha agreed, “he even sounds genuine.”
“Masha my child, your life is in danger, you need protection,” the Pappas warned as the details of his attack suddenly flooded back.
“The danger has passed and Masha is safe now. The crazy woman that attacked yous is caught,” Pedros explained.
“It was the blood donated from your attacker that saved your life,” Socrates told him.
“How magnanimous of her, she did appear to be a troubled soul, I will pray the good Lord forgives her,” the Pappas said. “Pedro, I believe congratulations are in order and you are about to be wed.”
“That blow to the ‘ead as really ‘addled yous brain. I have no intention of ever marrying. Women are nothing but a nuisance.”
“You shouldn’t be so hasty to judge Pedro, the love of a good woman is something to cherish,” the Pappas chided.
“It’s a pity he never cherished Petula when he had the chance,” Socrates scoffed. “I expect the malaka will be back to his usual self when the medication wears off.”
The chatter ceased when a formal announcement came over the hospital tannoy. “There is a bomb scare, would everyone please exit the building in a calm manner. I repeat, please exit the building calmly before the hospital blows up.”
“As if we ‘aven’t been through enough today already without coping with a malaka bomb,” Bald Yannis shouted, watching as complete pandemonium broke out in the corridors with people fighting to get out of the emergency exits. Relatives were frantically trying to wheel hospital beds through too narrow doorways and people with broken limbs were using their crutches to beat a path to the exit. The bomb threat woke Kyria Moustakos and before anyone could attempt to stop her she leapt out of bed, tied her bed sheet to the window frame and rappelled rapidly to the car park.
“Fotis always did say she was sprightly,” Nitsa observed.
Suddenly the usually calm and collected Deirdre turned puce, practically exploding in anger as she yelled, “Quentin, I told you not to come inside the building wearing the parrot. Someone must have overheard it saying ‘bomb’ and it has caused this dreadful panic.”
Everyone turned to stare at Quentin in horror. Creating a bomb scare in a public hospital was a very serious offence, particularly when the panic it provoked resulted in such carnage.
“If you want my lawyerly advice K-Went-In,” Socrates advised “leg it quickly.”
“Come on, we’re all in this together,” Prosperous Pedros shouted in a rush of village solidarity, holding the sheet steady as one by one all the villagers followed Kyria Moustakos and rappelled out of the hospital window.
As they sprinted across the car park desperate to whisk Quentin away from the scene of the bomb scare before he could implicated, they noticed a jeering crowd gathered around the pick-up.
“Ere Pedro, yous is a dark ‘orse, what is yous doin’ with a naked woman in yous van?” Nitsa cackled.
“I’ve never seen ‘er before in my life,” Prosperous Pedros shouted in angry denial as Bald Yannis grabbed the lobster adorned shower curtain off Quentin’s head and ran ahead to wrap it round the blow up sex doll holding court in the passenger seat.
“Malaka,’ow was I to know it would drift up from under the seat?” Bald Yannis muttered, grappling with the very flexible vinyl dummy. Turning to the onlookers he shouted, “Move along, nothin’ to see here, the poor woman was in such an ‘urry to get out of the ‘ospital before the bomb exploded she forgot to put ‘er clothes on.”
As the jeering onlookers dispersed Pedros’ mobile phone rang.
“What is it now mother?” he shouted wearily. Turning to the others he said, “We ‘ave to get back to the village, the Doomsday trippers are causin’ havoc.”
To discover what new antics the villagers get up to and to find out if the world really does end, the saga continues in Book 5 of the Greek Meze Series.
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~ Katerina Nikolas