Remember Us This Way

by C. R. Jane

  As we drive to one of the nicest steakhouses in town, Gentry chatters about some deal he’s just signed to turn a plot of land right outside the city limits into a new shopping center. I realize while he’s talking that the plot of land is the trailer park I grew up in. My emotions are so complicated about that place. The best and some of the very worst moments of my life have happened there, but it’s almost like I need the trailer park to keep on existing so I don’t forgot those memories. Right now, I can drive past when I need to and remember how Tanner’s eyes felt on me that first night. I can remember where Jesse first really kissed me, where Jensen first told me I was beautiful. It’s stupid but if I lose where those events happened, it feels like it could erase that they actually happened at all.

  “Is there some other land you can do it on?” I ask abruptly, knowing that I’ve made a huge mistake as soon as the words come out of my mouth. Gentry hates to be reminded of my origins. If it were up to him, he would have burned the whole park to the ground years ago. He tells everyone that doesn’t know me that my parents are wealthy business owners in Georgia. I remember the first time that he introduced me like that, how bad I felt that my fiancée was so ashamed of me. But then of course he’s done far worse things to me since then, and I almost feel silly that I was upset about that in the first place.

  “And why would you care about what happens to that cess-pool?” he asks in a cold, deadly voice that always represents trouble for me. I hesitate, knowing that if I push this it could somehow ruin the upcoming freedom I’m planning on. He could end up deciding to take me on his business trip with him. Despite the pang in my chest, I tell him that I don’t care and that the shopping center sounds lovely. I don’t say another word for the rest of the drive as I listen to him continue to talk about the mall.

  We walk into the restaurant and I’m reminded why Gentry always wants to come here on special occasions. It’s always crowded with the “who’s who” of Bellmont. He puts his arm around my waist and struts to our table giving a wink to a pretty waitress as we pass by. Throughout dinner I’m forced to put up with his over the top display of affection as he makes clear to the whole town who I belong to. I idly think that if it were any of the guys in the place of Gentry right now, I would probably be enjoying it. I would like the idea that they wanted to show me off or wanted to show everyone that I was theirs.

  I get more and more nervous as dinner passes. Gentry has consumed quite a bit of bourbon and his hands are roving even more than before. He’s starting to hum that little tune that always makes me want to throw up, making it clear what he’s going to expect when he gets home... and I just can’t. I can’t do it. Any time that I’ve slept with him since we’ve been married has only been because I feared reprisals and Gentry usually doesn’t try to cross the line of forcing me. Hence why he had started fucking half the town. But tonight seemed different. It seems silly, but somehow if I let Gentry touch me tonight, I won’t be able to go to the concert. I’ll feel like I’m somehow tainted even more than I normally am.

  So I order him another drink. Although I go out of my way to not feed Gentry’s ego, tonight I go overkill. We talk on and on about how wonderful he is, how handsome he is, how smart he is. And through it all he continues to drink until he’s almost comatose. Satisfied that he won’t be trying anything tonight and will probably be incapacitated for most of tomorrow before he leaves for his trip, I call for the check and drive us home. Helping him into bed and hearing him snore as he immediately falls into a deep sleep, I let my mind wander to the weekend. I barely sleep the entire night as I think about seeing them again.

  4

  Then

  I’m walking to school the next morning when an enormous black truck pulls up next to me. It rolls down a window, I’m sure the occupants of the truck expecting me to come up to it. I’m street smart enough to know that’s how girls get kidnapped however, and I start to jog to try and get away. The truck drives slowly next to me.

  “Pretty girl, do you want a ride?” Jesse asks, sticking his head out the window and wiggling his eyebrows in a way that lets me know he would love to give me two different kinds of rides. It starts sprinkling at that moment and considering I’m foolishly wearing a white shirt again, it seems like it would be stupid to not take the ride. Besides, I still need to figure out why they seem so interested in me.

  I sigh and open the door, having to hoist myself up in order to get into the truck since it’s so tall. “Compensating much?” I ask dryly, and a laugh barks out of him as if he wasn’t expecting it.

  “My dad actually bought this for me,” he says ruefully, and I wonder what it would be like for your parents to actually buy you things or really even remember that you’re supposed to go to school at all. “But no, it matches the package quite well,” he says with a cocky wink. And I roll my eyes while thinking that there’s something really attractive about his easy-going personality and perfect smile. He seems to be not weighed down by the world, which is a rare trait in someone.

  We chat about random things like our weird mutual love for the Patriots and all things Tom Brady and before I know it, we’re pulling into the school parking lot.

  “Stay there,” he says suddenly, hopping out of the truck effortlessly and jogging over to my door. He opens it and picks me up, sliding my body down his before setting me down. I’m once again flustered and gaping like a codfish while he looks like he just won the lottery.

  He slings an arm over my shoulders as I’ve noticed he likes to do, and he leans into me. “You’re going to get used to me touching you a lot, pretty girl,” he says, and I don’t even try to answer. Who are these guys?

  Suddenly he snorts and I look up at him to see what he finds so funny. He’s looking down the sidewalk and I see that Jensen is walking towards us, looking like he just got done going for a jog. There’s a light sheen of sweat over his golden skin and his t-shirt is sticking to him, showcasing the very defined six-pack that he’s rocking. It makes extremely clear how perfectly muscular he actually is. His hair looks thick and soft with a slight wave that gives it body, and it’s slightly mussed like he just ran his hands through it. In short, he looks absolutely delicious.

  He comes near us, staring at me in that intense way that he has.

  “‘Show-off,” Jesse mutters from beside me.

  Jensen furthers the show by suddenly taking his shirt off and using it to wipe his face. I’m rewarded with the view of a wall of smooth, tanned skin. Broad shoulders frame his wide chest that tapers into a trim waist. His pecs bulge over a set of rippling abs that transcend into sexy V muscles that disappear under his waistband. His body resembles something out of the romance books that Terry likes to read twenty-four seven. I think I need to borrow Jensen’s shirt to wipe off the drool that is most likely coming out of my mouth.

  “Down girl,” whispers Jesse and I turn and glare at him, unable to give him a good one since he’s so freaking hot as well.

  Jensen and Jesse talk for a minute about an assignment they have for a class I’m not in, neither of them really saying anything to me. I’m content with that. I’ve always been awkward with chit-chat and for once it feels comfortable to listen instead of feeling pressure to say something.

  “I’m going to go shower,” says Jensen finally, reaching over to sweep a strand of my hair behind my ear. He turns towards me first, slowly catching my body on fire as his eyes skim me from my head to my feet. “Your shoe’s untied,” he says suddenly. “Hold still.”

  Mesmerized, I do as he says and watch as he kneels in front of me. Still shirtless, I track his lean, sinewy muscles as they stretch and flex in front of me in a tantalizing dance. He’s close enough to touch. I want to lean in and lick every hard ridge of his body. It’s literally torture to stand this close to him. He stands up and shoots me a lazy grin that somehow tells me he knows the effect he’s having on me right now. I find myself licking my lips as I watch him walk away, his basketball shorts framing his ass perfectly.
>
  “I feel like I need to take my shirt off now just so you’ll look at me like that,” says Jesse with a laugh, leading me into the school.

  “Like what?” I ask.

  “Like you want to eat me.”

  I blush and try to scurry away, but he holds onto me. “Did you forget we have our first class together?” he asks innocently.

  “I was under the impression that History class is optional for you,” I tell him with a sugary smile. It seems to catch him off guard because he stops walking and just kind of looks at me with a dazed expression. He shakes his head a little and starts to walk again, pulling me forward since his arm is still latched around my shoulders.

  “Someone has recently appeared that has suddenly made History the most fascinating class I’ve ever attended.”

  I roll my eyes but can’t help but feel flattered. I can feel how shocked the rest of the students are when he strolls in with me. Although I was only joking about the fact that History was optional for him, by the looks on our classmates’ faces, I wasn’t far off the mark.

  “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh,” mouths Amberlie to me when I take a seat next to her, and Jesse takes a seat behind me and immediately starts to play with my hair. She looks like she’s about to have a full-on panic attack about the fact that Jesse just walked into the room with me. “You have to tell me everything,” she mouths, and I can’t help but laugh at her exuberance.

  Jesse surprises me by actually making some very smart comments in class and I wonder what else he hides behind the sunny mask he wears. He walks me to my next class, not giving Amberlie a chance to accost me in the hallway. I’m disappointed that I don’t see Tanner and Jensen, and then I’m immediately disappointed in myself for even having that thought.

  “Tell me everything,” squeals Amberlie from beside me. I’ve been so lost daydreaming about the guys that I forgot that I had this class with her.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Twenty people said they saw you get out of Jesse Carroway’s truck this morning,” she said, her eyes going dreamy for a second as if she’s imagining it was her who rode in the truck.

  “You talked to twenty people about this?” I ask quizzically.

  “That’s not the point. Just talk,” she squeals.

  “I walk to school and he was just being nice,” I tell her with a shrug, picking up my pencil to start taking notes when the teacher walks in.

  “This isn’t over,” Amberlie mouths, and I shoot her a grin to let her know that I’m fully aware that I’m torturing her.

  I escape out of the room before she can accost me, and I manage to not see anyone until lunchtime when I once again find myself walking into the bustling lunchroom. The difference today being that while yesterday I just felt like everyone was talking about me, today I know that they are talking about me.

  Like yesterday, I get into the lunch line and make my way to the register after grabbing a sandwich and soup combo that doesn’t look too gross. And just like yesterday, right as I’m about to give the lady my number for my free lunch, a hand sweeps in. This time placing a Sunkist and a Reese’s on my tray.

  The golden skin gives the hand away today though and I look up to see that it’s Jensen paying today. I say nothing until we are out of the line and walking towards their table.

  My face heats up thinking about the fact that they’ve automatically decided that I was too poor to be able to afford food. Which is true but isn’t the point. “You don’t have to do that,” I say quietly, my voice trembling a lot more than I would like.

  “Do what?” he asks in a gruff voice.

  “Pay for my lunch. I… I get it for free,” I say so softly that I’m not quite sure he can even hear me.

  “Baby, we’re going to pay for your lunch every day because we like you and that’s just what we decided. We’re rich as fuck and we’re only going to be richer when we make it big. It’s not a big deal.”

  I didn’t know what he meant by “make it big.” As far as I knew none of them were athletes, although seeing Jensen’s body this morning, he sure looked like one. My mouth salivates a bit just thinking about it.

  Instead of asking Jensen what the heck he’s talking about I decide to ask Amberlie so I don’t come across as so ignorant.

  Jensen leads me to their table where this time there’s an open seat in between Jesse and Tanner. Jesse gives me a sexy wink as I sit down, and I can’t help but blush. Tanner reaches across and grabs the Sunkist and the Reese’s from my tray, ripping open the package and putting one of the treats on my tray after he takes the other one for himself. It’s only the second day that I’m eating with them and yet this feels like a routine, something that we’ve been doing forever, that we will do forever. I’ve never had something like that before.

  Tanner and I are debating the correct way to eat a Reese’s when a throat clears from behind us. I look up in time to see the gorgeous blonde from the other night sitting down in Tanner’s lap. She looks comfortable there, like she belongs. I hate it.

  “Reagan, what are you doing?” he asks wearily.

  “Did something change between a few days ago and now?” she asks, a nervous look on her face as she fidgets in his lap.

  “I believe you have a seat somewhere down there,” drawls Jesse, motioning towards the end of the table where the other two girls from the other night are sitting at the end of the table, beautiful scowls on both of their faces.

  She leans in to try and whisper something to Tanner but evidently, he’s had enough as he practically pushes her off his lap. The girl is close to tears and she looks at him for a moment beseechingly before she turns and snarls at me. “Make sure to have fun while it lasts, little girl. You won’t hold his attention for long,” she says to me.

  Suddenly the situation is too much. I’ve spent my entire life laying low and all of the attention from the guys, from the other students...it’s too much for me. I can feel the start of a panic attack coming on, so I stand up quickly, aware that it’s going to look like I’m running away but unable to control myself enough to stop.

  I practically sprint out of the lunchroom, hearing the faint roar of one of the guys yelling something as the doors close behind me. I barely make it to the bathroom before I’m throwing up. After there’s nothing left in my stomach, I huddle in a ball in the corner. I know that it’s disgusting that I’m sitting on the floor of a public bathroom, but I feel so shaky and out of sorts that I can’t do anything about it. I hear the door of the bathroom open and someone walks in. I try to quiet my sobs, so I won’t attract any attention to myself. I look up realizing that in my haste to make it to the toilet I forgot to lock the stall.

  It suddenly opens and I’m shocked to see that Jensen is standing there. Out of the three of them I would have expected him the least likely to play the role of the white knight in shining armor. He crouches down in front of me.

  “What’s going on, baby?” he asks. I never thought I was into endearments or pet names before, but the way he says “baby” makes me feel fluttery inside.

  “I have trouble with attention,” I say quietly.

  “Attention?” he asks quietly.

  “It’s hard for me when people look at me, or even talk to me. I’m a sidelines kind of girl. Someone who's really good at blending in with the crowd. It just was too much with everyone staring,” I whisper, my voice shaking as I try to explain something that I know is stupid.

  Jensen strokes the side of my face gently and I find myself leaning in to it.

  “You’re not a sidelines girl. It would be impossible not to notice you or pick you out in any crowd. You just have never noticed before how much people watch you.”

  I laugh at him, thinking he must be joking but my laughter fades when I notice how serious his face stays. He tilts up my chin.

  “I would love to tell you more about everything special about you, but I would rather not do it on the floor of the girls’ bathroom,” he says. I’m sure that I’m
beet red at this point. I was so caught up in Jensen’s magic that I completely forgot that I was sitting on the floor of the bathroom and had just thrown up.

  He takes my hand, unfazed that it needs to be cleaned from touching the floor and leads me out of the stall. After I wash my hands, he takes my hand again and leads me out into the hallway. I was expecting the hallway to be packed, hundreds of faces lined up interestedly to see why Jensen Reid is loitering in the girls’ bathroom, but the hallway is a ghost town. I look up at Jensen in surprise.

  “Tanner and Jesse took care of it,” he says with a shrug.

  I let out a long breath. “I guess I need to head to class. It’s only my second day and I’m already wishing I could skip.”

  “We can if you want to,” he says, pulling me close. I can smell his musky scent and it’s doing things to my hormones. His eyes are flicking to my mouth and I find myself fantasizing about what it would be like to touch that body that I got to see this morning. The bell rings, signaling that I’m officially late for class, and the spell is broken.

  I push away and start walking backwards away from Jensen who’s staring at me and looking a little out of breath. It takes everything in me to turn around and jog to class. I’m not sure what has gotten into me. I’ve never acted like this before.

  I work extra hard to concentrate in the rest of my classes. It takes much more energy than classes at my old school and I know I’m going to be in trouble here if this keeps up. Amberlie accosts me in the hallway as I’m walking to the front of the school to walk home.

  “You’re going tonight, right?” she asks expectantly. I’m just now settling down from the lunchroom debacle and my interlude with Jensen, so I’m quite certain that I’m not going anywhere tonight unless I’m forced to because some kind of drunken brawl between Terry and David forces me to leave.