The Brightest Darkness

by Kate L. Mary

  It turned out to be baked beans. They floated in their brown sauce, surrounded by bits of bacon and congealed grease. My stomach would have turned at the sight of them even if Andrew wasn’t watching me like a hawk, because I’d never been a fan of baked beans, but his eyes were on me, and he kept watching as I bent the lid and used it to scoop up a big glop of the food. I shoveled it in my mouth, barely tasting the cold sweetness of the beans as I chewed, taking a second bite as soon as I’d swallowed the first.

  My empty stomach tried to protest, but I forced the food to stay down by piling more on top of it, bite after bite, consuming the contents until there wasn’t a single bean or piece of bacon left.

  When I set the empty can aside, Andrew nodded. “Good. Now the water.”

  I finally looked away when I picked up the canteen. Andrew was still hovering over me, but he’d shifted so he was leaning against the open door, his arms crossed as he smoked, and I was now able to get a good look around. His men were packing up, loading the cars with the supplies they’d dragged into the motel last night, and Kellan was still sitting on the ground, the same goon standing over him. My stomach threatened to expel the beans at the sight of the gun pointed at Kellan’s head, so I gulped the water faster, hoping to keep them down.

  When the canteen was finally empty, I turned it upside down and glared at Andrew. “Now give Kellan some food.”

  Andrew pulled the cigarette from his mouth and yelled over his shoulder. “Feed the other one.”

  The goon standing over Kellan pulled something out of his pocket and tossed it on the ground. It landed at Kellan’s feet, and through the thick tangle of weeds I caught sight of something orange.

  “Crackers?” The fiery look I shot Andrew didn’t faze him in the least.

  “We have to prioritize our rations.” He shrugged as if Kellan’s life meant less to him than a blade of grass. “We didn’t plan for your friend.”

  “Give him something else,” I said.

  “You’re not in a position to give orders.”

  He was right, but I still got to my feet. “He at least needs water!”

  Andrew tossed his cigarette on the ground and shoved me so that I plopped back down on the seat. Then he was in my face. “Watch yourself.”

  I was seething, my blood and face hot, but I took his warning seriously. They’d given Kellan something, at least, and that would have to do for now.

  I stayed where I was while the men finished packing up. By then, Kellan had finished his meager meal, and when Andrew told everyone that it was time to head out, the goon standing over him yanked him to his feet. I watched in silence as he was dragged to the back of the truck and disappeared from sight.

  I dozed in the car, lulled to sleep by the persistent rocking even though it terrified me to close my eyes for even a second. Last night I’d been able to relax a little with Kellan at my side, but now I was alone, and taking my eyes off Andrew was the last thing I wanted to do, but I couldn’t help it.

  Between naps, I stared out the window, watching the Oklahoma landscape fly by. Eventually, it changed from the dry, brown world I was used to, to something greener. There were more trees lining the roads, more forests in the distance, and the ruins of old cities and neighborhoods became more frequent. I wasn’t positive since most of the road signs were gone, covered by debris, or rusty, but I had a feeling we’d passed out of Oklahoma and were now in Arkansas. Or what used to be Arkansas, anyway. I wasn’t sure what states still existed. I wasn’t even sure if this was still considered the United States of America.

  The idea of talking to Andrew was repulsive, but being in the dark wasn’t fun either, so after hours of silence, I finally turned to him. “Are we in Arkansas?”

  He seemed to have a never-ending supply of cigarettes, and his life-goals seemed to include turning his lungs black, because he was still smoking.

  “Almost to Tennessee,” he said through a haze of smoke.

  “I haven’t left Oklahoma in more than ten years,” I mumbled.

  “I don’t know why the hell not,” Andrew replied. “The place is a pit, and hotter than hell. You know there are better areas out there, right? And there are cities with walls.” He snorted as he sucked in another mouthful of chemicals. “You should have come east and joined a sanctioned settlement. They’d give you a place to live and a job, you’d get credits. You wouldn’t have to fight for everything you have.”

  “We also wouldn’t be free,” I said.

  “Freedom is overrated when it means you could get your face chewed off at any moment,” Andrew shot back. “Believe me. I’m going to get you to Atlanta, collect my reward, and live out a life of ease. Mark my words.”

  “What are they giving you?”

  It was something I’d been wondering ever since we learned about Andrew and his men. The money we’d used before the virus was a thing of the past, but the new government had credits, only I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what Andrew would do with them. They could hand him a million credits, but what did it matter? We got the National Newspaper from time to time, usually brought in by traders who’d raided a supply truck, and Andrew was right. If you joined a sanctioned settlement, the new government gave you some credits to get you back on your feet and made sure you had a place to live and a job. Yes, you had to pay rent and buy food and clothes, but there were very few luxuries these days. No one worried about expensive cars or the latest electronics; there were no exclusive resorts to visit, or any vacations at all anymore. Life was simpler now, consisting of a small list of things people needed to survive.

  Andrew waved his hand as if swatting away my words. “That’s my business. All you need to worry about is doing as you’re told so your boyfriend gets out of this alive. Understand?”

  “Yeah,” I mumbled then turned back to the window, once again watching as the world flew by.

  28

  What had once been Memphis loomed in the distance. The city was deserted now, the skyscrapers dark silhouettes against the swiftly darkening sky as the car came to a stop in front of a moderately-sized office building.

  Like yesterday, Andrew’s men went inside while we stayed in the car, returning only a few minutes later to give the all clear. After that, Andrew once again dragged me into the building, only this time he shoved me onto a couch in the lobby instead of a bed. It was hard, unforgiving when my body landed on it, but that didn’t stop a puff of dust from once again floating into the air around me. When I inhaled the dirt, the air tickled my nose, and I sneezed.

  A few minutes passed before the rest of the men walked in, bringing Kellan with them.

  Like yesterday, I reached for him when he was shoved down at my side, but this time when my hands made contact with his skin, I was struck by how warm it was. This wasn’t from being stuck in the back of the truck all day. No, this was unnaturally hot. Scorching, even.

  Kellan had a fever.

  I had to force myself not to react, not wanting Andrew and his men to suspect anything was wrong. They were occupied right now, securing the door and going through the rations, and it gave me a chance to sneak a glance at Kellan’s face. His eyes were red, bloodshot and tired looking, and even in the limited light from the lantern his face looked flushed. My heart rate sped up as I snuck a peek at the bite on his forearm. It was redder than yesterday, I was sure of it, and the skin around it was shiny and swollen. Irritated.

  It was infected.

  Andrew wasn’t facing us, wasn’t looking our way, I took the opportunity to press the back of my hand against Kellan’s cheek, and then his forehead. He was hot. Burning up, really.

  “You’re sick,” I whispered, keeping my voice low.

  “I’m okay,” he said, but his voice sounded strained. Tired. Nothing like him.

  He was lying.

  Andrew, still not paying attention to us, addressed his men. “We’re a little more than halfway there, which means if all goes well, we have two days of driving left. Maybe one if we
don’t run into trouble tomorrow. Take shifts watching the prisoners, and in between I want everyone to rest up. The closer we get to the sanctioned areas, the more on the lookout we need to be. There could be raiders—people who steal from the government and will have no problem trying to steal from us as well. There could also be hordes. They’re thicker out here where there’s more human life, and some of the newer strains are nasty. Understand?”

  Around the room, his men nodded.

  Satisfied that they’d taken him seriously, Andrew turned to face Kellan and me. “You two will not get up from that couch unless we tell you to. Got it?”

  “Yes.” I scooted closer to Kellan even though the heat radiating from his skin was making me sweat.

  I wanted to drape myself over him so I could shield him from Andrew’s penetrating gaze, but I was afraid to move. Afraid I might draw more attention to Kellan if I looked the wrong way or didn’t say the right words. If anyone realized he was sick, they might decide to kill him now. Andrew didn’t want any extra work, and dragging a sick man to Atlanta would be nothing but work.

  Andrew turned his back on us. “Get them some rations.”

  He didn’t focus on anyone in particular when he spoke, but the men must have been familiar enough with his demands to know who he was talking to, because one of them immediately moved to do his bidding.

  At my side, Kellan’s body shook, and I scooted closer. He was cold. It had to be ninety degrees in this building—at least—and he was shivering.

  “Hang in there,” I whispered as I ran my bound hands up his arm. “It’s going to be okay.”

  Kellan nodded, but his head bobbed faster than usual, and I knew it was because he was shivering.

  One of Andrew’s goons brought us two cans—neither of which had labels on them—and one canteen of water before going back across the room to where the rest of the men were stretched out on the floor.

  Andrew alone stood. A cloud of smoke floated above him as he stared out the front window into the black night, his back was to us. I wasn’t sure what he was looking at, but I was thankful for the break from his piercing eyes.

  I opened the canteen and forced it into Kellan’s hands. “Drink as much as you can.”

  My own mouth was dryer than Oklahoma at the height of the drought, but Kellan needed the water more than I did. We had no medicine that I knew of, and even if Andrew happened to have some antibiotics lying around, I doubted he would share them with Kellan. I had to do everything I could to keep him hydrated and fed. He needed to stay strong until we reached Atlanta, and then hopefully they would be willing to help him even though he’d lied. They were people, after all, human beings just like us. They had to want humanity to survive. That was what all this was about, wasn’t it? They were out looking for people who were immune so they could save the human race. It only stood to reason that whoever was in charge valued human life. Right?

  All I could do was pray they did.

  Kellan only took one gulp from the canteen before trying to pass it to me. “You need some.”

  “No.” I pushed it back to his lips, my gaze darting toward the men on the other side of the room. No one was paying attention to us, thank God. “Drink it, Kellan. You need to.”

  He obeyed, sucking down more than he had the first time, but still passing it back to me before I was happy. I let it go for the time being and focused on the cans we’d been given. The first one I opened was green beans, so I set it aside and moved to the next one. Kellan needed something with protein.

  I peeled the lid of the second can back to reveal more baked beans, and almost let out a sigh of relief. I may not have been a fan, but I was more grateful to see those disgusting brown beans than I had been for anything in a long time.

  When I tried to offer him a scoop, Kellan shook his head.

  “You need to eat,” I insisted. “You need to keep your strength up.”

  “You eat it,” he replied.

  He was shivering harder now. I could tell he was fighting it, but it wasn’t working. His teeth were practically chattering when his gaze met mine, and my blood turned cold at the expression in his eyes. They were bloodshot and sickly, but there was something else there, too. Resignation. He thought he was going to die.

  “Don’t you dare give up.” I had to work to keep my voice low, because it was shaking with emotion. My eyes had filled with tears, too, which I desperately tried to blink back, not wanting Andrew or his men to see me crying and get suspicious. “You listen to me, Kellan. Listen hard. I will not let you die. I won’t.”

  “My arm is killing me,” he said. “It’s hot and so is my face, but I’m freezing. I’m not an idiot, Regan. The bite is infected, and as soon as Andrew finds out—”

  “No,” I hissed. “No.”

  I grabbed his shirt and pressed my face against his chest when the tears wouldn’t stay down. I was pretty sure my tears evaporated from his hot skin before his shirt even had a chance to absorb them. He was on fire.

  “Shhh, Regan.” Kellan stroked the back of my head. “It’s okay.”

  “How can you say that?” I wiped the tears from my face with his shirt so I could look up. “How can you even think I would be okay without you?”

  Kellan shook his head, and when tears filled his eyes, a sob threatened to break out of me. “You don’t have a choice.”

  “I do,” I hissed. “And I choose for you to fight. Remember when I was bitten? Remember how I wanted you to leave me or shoot me? You made me wait, you made me fight, and I did. For you. That’s what you have to do now. Do you understand? You have to stay strong and fight, because if you don’t live, I don’t want to either.”

  He nodded in agreement. “Okay. I’ll fight, Regan. I promise.”

  I was on the verge of hysteria, and even though I knew I needed to keep it under control, I wasn’t sure if I could. The sadness in Kellan’s eyes was sharper than a knife, and it threatened to cut me in half. I’d known him almost my entire life, and I could tell when he was lying. He was humoring me, lying to keep me calm.

  Which was fine, at least for the time being, because it meant he wouldn’t refuse the food and he’d drink the water to make me happy, and right now that was all I could do for him.

  I swallowed down my tears and wiped my face with my arm. “Good. Now you’re going to eat.”

  Like a dutiful child, Kellan swallowed every bite of the baked beans and drank half the water.

  After that, there was nothing to do. It was as black as hell outside, as black as Andrew’s soul, and around the room the men had begun settling down for the night. Andrew, too, had finally moved away from the door. He took the only other couch in the room, which was right across from us, and as he smoked, he watched us, his dark eyes making it feel like he could see inside me. I hoped not.

  At my side, Kellan shivered from time to time, but he was doing everything he could to hide it. He had to be miserable. Had to be struggling, but he somehow managed to look almost relaxed. If they still had Academy Awards, he deserved one. In perfect contrast, I felt completely transparent.

  It wasn’t until Andrew put his cigarette out—on the floor again—and closed his eyes that I was finally able to relax. By then, the lantern had been turned down and everyone but the man on watch was either asleep or on their way. Kellan’s eyes had been closed for some time, but I knew that, like me, he was still wide awake.

  “Kellan,” I whispered his name as I shifted, lifting my bound hands. “Come here.”

  He scooted closer and rested his head on my chest, and I lowered my arms so they were around him. The couch was small, and getting comfortable was going to be difficult, if not impossible, due to the fever raging through him, but he stretched out as much as he could.

  “Sleep,” I whispered as I pressed my lips against his head.

  29

  I woke drenched in sweat. Kellan’s head was still resting against my chest, and the heat radiating off him seemed twice as intense as it had earlier.
He was still asleep, his breathing heavy, and from what I could tell, so was everyone else in the room with the exception of the man on guard duty. He sat by the front door and seemed totally oblivious to everything else surrounding him. The lantern was at his side, turned down so the light only illuminated a small area around him, and in his hands was a paperback that was missing its cover and had the dog-eared pages of a book read dozens of times.

  I scanned the area, not moving an inch even though I was burning up. The other men were stretched out across the room on sleeping bags, their heads resting on backpacks or balled up clothes, Andrew among them. They were out cold, but still armed, something their leader had unfortunately drilled into them.

  There wasn’t much to the place. The lobby we were sleeping in was small, only the two couches, a few tables, and a narrow hallway that led deeper into the building. I had no idea what kind of businesses this building used to house, but whatever they’d been, they hadn’t required much of a lobby.

  To my right there was nothing, not even an emergency exit or door that led to a stairwell, but to my left there was a long hall that stretched into a black abyss. Beyond that there were probably dozens of offices we could hide in. If only we could get away.

  Too bad making a break for it would be a death sentence. The guard was reading, but he was only six feet away and would immediately notice if we got up. No, we couldn’t just run off; we’d need a distraction. Something for the men to focus on so they weren’t watching us, giving us a chance to make a run for it.

  Kellan shifted and started shivering, and I tightened my arms around him. His skin blazed against mine, and without thinking, I moved my hand to his face. God, he was hot.

  “What are you doing?”

  I jumped, caught off guard by the question, and looked up to find Andrew’s eyes open and focused on me.

  “Nothing,” I mumbled and dropped my hands so they were once again around him.