The Road to Wrinkle Ranch

by Nick Russell

“Are you crazy? No way! I’m a happily married woman.”

  “Why do you think she would say that then, Mrs. Coleman?"

  "How should I know? She was always calling Lonnie, always checking up on him. It used to drive him nuts sometimes. I guess maybe she was insecure or something. Don't ask me."

  "Ma'am, you said that you just had a working relationship with Lonnie. As you put it, he was a guy at the desk next to you. So I’m curious how you knew about his wife’s insecurities.”

  “I don't know what you're implying, Deputy, but that's it. I'm done talking to you guys. I'd appreciate it if you left now."

  “Mrs. Coleman, we’re not here to accuse you of anything," John Lee told her. “We're just following up on the information we received."

  “I told you everything I know, and I'm done talking to you. If you come back, you'll be hearing from my lawyer." The woman's arms were crossed across her chest and she was glaring at them.

  "Sorry to bother you," Maddy said, "you have a good day, ma’am."

  The dog was still wiggling and sniffing at John Lee's leg when they walked back to the Charger. They got inside and buckled up and Maddy said, "That's a woman with something to hide, John Lee."

  "Yeah, it seems that way to me, too," he said. “The question is, what is it she's hiding, and how do we get her to tell us?"

  ***

  John Lee wasn't sure if Paw Paw and Uncle Billy had left the back porch at all since he and Maddy had been there the day before. As he got out of his truck, there was the same loud music, although this time it was The Animals singing We Gotta Get Out Of This Place, and the smell of marijuana smoke was still there.

  "Did you guys even sleep since I was here last night?"

  "Hey there, John Lee. Naw, we ain’t been sleeping," Paw Paw told him. "We got plenty of time to sleep when we’re dead. Ain’t that right, Billy? Or when that kid of yours catches you and hauls you off to Wrinkle Ranch."

  "I ain’t never going down that road. I’d rather be dead," Billy said. "I gotta say, John Lee, as much as I like seeing you, you’re cutting into my party time." Uncle Billy snuffed out the joint he was smoking and grinned mischievously.

  “You guys do know that me seeing you committing a crime and not doing anything about it is a crime in itself, right?"

  "Oh, stop being such a Boy Scout," Paw Paw said. "Nobody ever died from a little smoke."

  "It ain't nothing but a thing, Stanley," Billy said. "I do respect your job, John Lee. The last thing I’d ever want to do is cause you any kind of problems."

  "I do appreciate that, Uncle Billy," John Lee said as he took a chair next to the two old men. "What have you two been up to, besides getting high and playing music?"

  "Are you kidding me, boy? You think that’s all we do all day? No sir. Me and Billy here, we've solved most of the problems of the world already today. And if we have time after dinner, we might start working on some of the problems on Mars and Venus. Then again, we may not. Ain't that right, Billy?"

  Billy laughed and shook his head and said, "Mars and Venus. I thought they brought a book out about those two a while back."

  "Well, we damn sure ain’t gonna talk about Uranus," Paw Paw said and both men laughed. John Lee figured the joke must be a little funnier if one was stoned, but he smiled anyway. The screen door opened and Mama Nell came out and said, "John Lee, what are you doin’ here?"

  "Damn," Mama Nell, I'm beginning to feel unwanted around here. These two acted like I was coming to run them in and now you want to know what I'm doing here. Any other time you’d want me to come by."

  "Hush your mouth. You know I always do,” she said slapping his shoulder with her hand. “Are you stayin’ for dinner?"

  “I don't know, what's for dinner?"

  "Does it matter? I never have seen you turn away from anything I cooked before."

  "You got a point there, Mama Nell,” John Lee said. “Whatever you’re cooking sounds good to me."

  Chapter 13

  Mama Nell’s crispy golden fried chicken, accompanied by mashed potatoes, corn on the cob fresh from the garden, biscuits, and real butter was a meal fit for a king. Assuming the king didn't care about his cholesterol numbers.

  Biting into one of the drumsticks, Billy shook his head with his eyes closed and a smile across his face and said, "Nell, I've been around the world two or three times and I’ve seen everything from a witch switching to a goat roping, and I have never known a woman anywhere who can cook like you. Why don’t you dump this old fart here and jump in that RV of mine and we’ll drive off into the sunset together?"

  "Now don't be stealing my woman," Paw Paw said. "It’s bad enough I’ve got to compete with Elvis. I don't need any more problems in my life."

  “Hush yourself, Stanley," Mama Nell admonished. Then she turned to Billy and said, "As temptin’ as that sounds, Billy, I'm afraid my heart belongs to someone else."

  “Yeah, Elvis," Paw Paw said sarcastically. Everybody who knew Mama Nell knew that she was one of the biggest Elvis Presley fans that ever lived and had been in love with him ever since she was a little girl. It didn't matter that he had been gone for many years, Mama Nell owned every record, eight track tape, cassette, CD, VHS tape, and DVD that the swivel-hipped boy from Tupelo, Mississippi ever produced.

  "You better watch your mouth, Stanley. Don't you talk about Elvis."

  “What the hell," Billy said. “I tried."

  "Well, could you try a little harder?"

  “Stanley, I swear I’m gonna smother you in your sleep one of these days,” Mama Nell said, smiling at her husband.

  “I’m sorry Maddy couldn’t make it to dinner,” his grandfather said.

  “She said to tell you she was sorry she couldn’t come. But she had an appointment with her therapist and she never misses one of them.”

  Turning serious, Billy said, "I sure was sorry to hear about what happened with Maddy, John Lee. How’s she doing?"

  "She had a real rough time of it, Billy," John Lee told him. "I'll be honest with you, there was a while there I didn't know if she was gonna make it or not. But she's a strong woman and she's come through things pretty damn well if you ask me."

  "How about you, John Lee?"

  "Me? I'm fine."

  “Hey, it's just us, son," Billy said. "I know you've been through a lot, too. A man don't just go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning and that's all behind him. Me and Stan here, we know about that, don't we, Stan?"

  Paw Paw, never one to talk about his war experiences, just said, "Yeah, we do."

  "I'm okay," John Lee lied. How could he tell them about the nightmares? How did he explain that to somebody who hadn't been through the things he had been through? But then again, his grandfather and Uncle Billy had each been through their own personal hell. At any rate, he just buttered one of Mama Nell’s biscuits and took a bite.

  "How was Maddy’s first day back on the job?"

  "Pretty good, Mama Nell. They had the two of us working together, interviewing people connected to those two folks who got themselves run over by the train."

  "That is a god-awful thing," Mama Nell said. "Do you know anything yet? Or at least anything you can tell us?"

  "Not really," John Lee told her. "They're hoping to have a DNA match sometime tomorrow. But we’re pretty sure that it was Lonnie McBride and Audrey Rittenhouse in that car."

  “That quick? I thought getting DNA results could take weeks, even months,” Paw Paw said.

  “They’ve got new technology that really speeds things up,” John Lee told him. “Usually it takes longer for techs to get to it than it takes to process a sample. But they put a rush on this to get identification so we can notify the next of kin.”

  "Mary Lou Raab was here earlier today to drop off a cookbook she borrowed from me a while back, and she said that she heard that somebody pushed that car into the train. Is that true, John Lee?"

  "There is some evidence that something like that might have happened, but we do
n't know anything for sure yet,” he replied.

  “Well, I hope you find whoever did it, because if somebody would do something like that to a couple of young people like those two were, who knows what they'd stop at?"

  “If that’s what happened, we’ll find them,” John Lee said.

  “I know you will. That’s what makes you such a good deputy,” his grandmother said proudly.

  The Somerton County Sheriff’s Department might have over 25 deputies, along with other support personnel, but as far as Mama Nell was concerned, anything the organization ever accomplished was all because of John Lee.

  “Getting back to you and Maddy, John Lee, where's that headed?"

  "To be honest with you, I don't know, Uncle Billy. We get along fine and for a long time now we've had this, hell I don't know what it is. For years she wanted to be with me and I didn't want to lose our friendship by going down that route, and then she left and I wanted her, and then that brutal rape happened to her and she was pushing everybody away, especially me. Now we seem to be coming back together."

  “Well, I hope you do get together," Mama Nell said. "I hope you two get married and have yourself a bunch of babies for me to play with."

  “Now hold on a second there," Paw Paw said. "You never want anybody to know that you’re John Lee’s grandma, but you’re willing to be a great-grandma?"

  "Are you implying I'm vain, Stanley?"

  "Oh, no, ma'am. I'm not implying a damn thing."

  She looked at him archly and said, "You know what, Billy? I may be thinking about smothering this belligerent old SOB in his sleep after all. How much room do you have in that camper of yours?"

  "Don't be getting your heart set on grandbabies, Mama Nell," John Lee said.

  "Why not?"

  "First of all, we’re a long way from that," he told her. “And, and besides, I don't know that Maddy or me, either one, want to be parents."

  "That's nonsense," Mama Nell said dismissively. "You two would make wonderful parents. Think how good-lookin’ your babies would be, John Lee."

  “They would be if they took after her," he admitted. "Me, not so much."

  “Now you hush that kind of talk, John Lee. You are one handsome man. Yes, you are."

  “Don't be telling the boy bullshit like that, Nell," Paw Paw said. "You’ll give him a swelled head so big he won’t be able to fit through the door."

  “You really do want me to smother you in your sleep, don't ya?"

  "I can think of worse ways to die," Paw Paw said. "Like being forced to sit through an Elvis concert or something like that."

  “I think I’d better get out of here before I have to arrest all three of you for drinking and doping and domestic violence," John Lee said.

  “You’re just gonna eat and run?"

  "I can hang around for a little bit more," he said. "But I haven't done laundry in a week and my dog growls at me when I show up because he thinks I don't live there anymore."

  "There you go, Mama Nell said. "That's another reason to have babies. Think how much fun Magic would have playin’ with them."

  “If he didn’t eat them,” Paw Paw said.

  "Why would you say something’ like that, Stanley? Magic is about the most gentle dog in the whole world."

  Magic was John Lee's German Shepherd, who he sometimes believed was the smartest creature he'd ever known, on two legs or four.

  “He’s gentle until you’ve seen him in action,” Paw Paw said.

  While Magic was completely docile and loving with the people he knew, the big dog was protection trained and a formidable opponent to anyone who might try to do John Lee harm.

  “Last time I was here, there was some talk about getting him certified as a K-9 to use at work. How did that work out, John Lee?"

  "It hasn't worked out at all, Uncle Billy. The sheriff is all for it, but the county commissioners had an issue. They're worried about getting sued if the dog bites somebody."

  "Isn't that what he's supposed to do if someone's doing something wrong?"

  "Yeah, but the two things they worry about more than anything else are money and bad publicity.”

  “That's nonsense," Billy said, "Police departments all over the country use K-9s."

  “You're preaching to the choir,” John Lee said. “I even offered to go down to Orlando on my own time to do the 400 hours of training classes with him, but they just don't want the liability."

  “What about the liability when a deputy has to use a Taser on someone, or shoot them?"

  “Billy, you got to keep in mind that we’re dealing with politicians," Paw Paw said. “You and I both know that politicians ain’t got a clue about what the real world’s like. And it don’t matter if they’re politicians in Somerton County or in Washington, D.C.”

  “You got a point there," Billy acknowledged.

  “Hey, I think it's time for dessert. Did I smell pie a little while ago?"

  "No, Stanley, you smelled apple strudel. But I'm not sure you deserve any after the way you talked about Elvis.” Mama Nell sniffed and looked away.

  “Now see what you went and done, Stan? You badmouthed Elvis and now I don't get any apple strudel. That’s a hell of a note if you ask me."

  "Don't you worry, Billy, you can have all the strudel you want,” Mama Nell assured their visitor as she went into the kitchen to fetch dessert. “It’s just this old fool I’m thinkin’ about cuttin’ off. And I don’t just mean from strudel.”

  “I don't know if I should stick around for dessert or get the hell out of here before you two start tearing each other apart," John Lee said.

  His grandparents had raised him from when he was a baby, and he couldn't remember a day when they weren’t teasingly bickering. At the same time, he knew how deeply devoted they were to each other.

  “You just sit there and eat your strudel,” Mama Nell ordered, placing a shallow bowl with dessert and ice cream in front of him. John Lee noticed that his grandfather’s bowl held more than any of the others.

  Chapter 14

  Magic came bounding across the driveway, dancing in the pickup truck’s headlights when John Lee pulled into his driveway. When he opened the door, the dog barked with glee.

  “Did you miss me, boy?"

  In answer, the dog jumped up and put his front paws on John Lee's chest, pushing him backward half a step.

  "Whoa there, boy. You need to let me know when you're going to do that.”

  Magic half jumped, half stepped backward and disappeared into the darkness, returning a moment later with the big rubber Kong that he loved to play with. He sat it down at John Lee's feet and then watched it intently, glancing up at his master now and then.

  "You know this has become a habit with you, right? Am I supposed to do this every time I come home from work?"

  Magic whimpered, his whole body quivering with anticipation.

  “All right, you win. You always do, don't you?"

  John Lee picked up the Kong and threw it into the darkness, Magic racing away in pursuit. A moment later he was back with it, offering it up and when John Lee reached for it they had a quick tug of war before the dog relented and he threw it again. On the third throw, John Lee heard the sound of sirens and he paused with the Kong in his hand, his arm drawn back. Magic pranced around and whined and he threw the Kong as the sound got louder. A moment later a sheriff’s department car went speeding past his house, lights flashing and siren wailing. John Lee looked after it and wondered what was going on, then heard the sound of another siren off in the distance, getting closer.

  “I wonder what the hell's going on now?"

  He threw the Kong again, and before Magic returned with it, another car had shot past his house.

  "Something's happening," John Lee said, stating the obvious. “You want to check it out, boy?"

  In a small rural community like Somerton County, with limited resources and manpower, the Sheriff’s Department was always understaffed and there were times when backup could b
e far away. So every deputy, whether on duty or off, was always ready to help out when there was a problem.

  He opened the truck and said, “Get in."

  Magic jumped in and John Lee followed him. He backed out of the driveway and drove in the direction the cars had gone. Two miles down the road he saw their lights flashing in the driveway of the Agosti home.

  “This should be interesting,” he said as he pulled in behind the units and opened the truck door. “You stay here,” he ordered the dog as he got out of the car.

  Deputies Bob Patterson and Steve Hudson were standing inside the open door to the foyer, and John Lee could hear loud voices from inside as he approached.

  "I'm not telling you jackasses again, get out of my house," Vince Agosti was shouting.

  "And I'm not telling you again, you need to shut up and let us do our job," Deputy Bob Patterson said.

  “Coming in behind you, Steve,” John Lee said, putting his hand on the back of the younger deputy as he entered the house.

  "What? You're here, too? Give me a break," Agosti said.

  John Lee ignored him and asked, “What have you got, Bob?"

  "We had a 911 call from the house," Patterson told him. “We got here and heard arguing, and Mr. Agosti here seems to think that we need to mind our own business."

  "Damn right you do," Agosti said. "You got no right coming into my house like this!"

  "As I told you before, sir, we have every right to be here," Patterson said. "Obviously there's some kind of a disturbance going on and someone called 911. So let's get to the bottom of it and get it settled, and then we’ll go on about our business and you can go on about yours."

  “There wasn’t no disturbance," Agosti said. "We were just talking."

  "Who is we?"

  "Who the hell do you think I'm talking about, dickhead? My wife and my sister-in-law and me. We were just talking."

  "Sir, you call me a name again and we’re going to have a serious problem," Patterson warned.

  "We already got a problem,” Agosti said.

  "And we're going to settle that problem. How about you just take a deep breath and calm down?"