The Road to Wrinkle Ranch

by Nick Russell

Maddy laughed and said, "Well, someone just told me a little while ago that blind eunuchs are back in fashion."

  "In answer to your original question, she certainly had reason to want her husband dead."

  "Yes," Maddy agreed, "but do you think she would really have done something to him herself?"

  "Not if her alibi stands up," John Lee said. “But keep in mind, Maddy, she did have a lot to gain by Lonnie's death, and she got rid of a dickhead of a husband at the same time."

  "What are you saying, John Lee?”

  "If she had anything to do with it, Darci wouldn't be the first person to hire someone to get rid of a problem."

  "Do you think she did?"

  "I don't know what to think," he said, shaking his head. "But I don't think we can rule out the possibility, do you?"

  "I don't want it to be her," Maddy said. "I know it sounds stupid, but I kind of like her."

  "Well, like I said, some people swing both ways.”

  She punched him on the arm and said, "You’ve got a dirty mind."

  "I know," he teased. “Kind of fun, isn’t it?"

  ***

  It took them a little over 30 minutes to drive to Lake City, where they found Shangri-La Beauty Supply in a strip mall on U.S. Highway 90, the main east-west street through town. A petite Asian woman with glossy black hair that hung to her waist and a name tag that identified her as Mia greeted them when they walked in the door. When Maddy told her the purpose of their visit, she said, "Mrs. McBride? We were so sorry to hear about what happened to her husband.”

  "We all were," Maddy said.

  “I heard someone pushed him into a train. Is that true?"

  "It’s an open investigation. We really can't reveal any details at this time," Maddy told her.

  "Let me check my register receipts,” Mia said. Five minutes later she looked up from the counter and said, “Yes, Mrs. McBride was in here on Monday. The receipt shows that she bought a little over $200 worth of supplies and checked out at 10:45 that morning."

  “Do you by any chance have video here in the store that would confirm that?"

  The woman looked at Maddy and asked, “Is there some kind of problem?"

  "No, ma'am," Maddy assured her. "We're just following up on every lead and we need to confirm that Mrs. McBride was here that morning, and what time.”

  Shaking her head incredulously, Mia said, "Mrs. McBride is a good customer. Surely you can't believe she would have anything to do with what happened to her husband.”

  "We're just trying to confirm things to create a good timeline," Maddy told her. “This is just routine. About that video?"

  “Yeah, we've got video. It will probably take me a couple of minutes to find it."

  "We're happy to wait," Maddy said.

  A few minutes later she showed them a monitor and they saw Darci McBride walking through the store, selecting items and putting them in a plastic basket. She stopped to chat with another employee for a moment or two, and though there was no audio, they could see her smiling. Her demeanor was not that of a woman whose husband was being murdered at her direction at the same time. Eventually, she went to the counter and checked out with the same employee, waved goodbye, and left. Looking at the timestamp, there was no question in John Lee or Maddy's minds that Darci had a good alibi for the time when her husband and his mistress were being killed.

  Back in the Charger, John Lee said, "My stomach thinks my throat’s been cut. Do you want to get a bite to eat before we head back?"

  "Might as well, we can’t dance," Maddy replied.

  "Who are you kidding? I've seen you dance. You’re great."

  She looked at him and shook her head and said, “Oh, John Lee, I wasn't talking about me. I was talking about you."

  "Me? What do you mean by that?"

  “I’ve danced with you twice. Both times you stepped on my toes so many times I had to soak my feet in Epsom salts so I'd be able to walk the next day."

  "Now that's hurtful, Maddy. That's downright hurtful."

  "You bet your ass it was hurtful," she told him. "And you'll hurt even more if you don't find me something to eat."

  They found a chicken place and went in. There were two Lake City police officers sitting in a booth who looked up and nodded when they saw them. John Lee recognized one man and asked, "How you doing, Wilson?"

  "No complaints, John Lee. Howdy, Maddy. What you two doing over here?"

  "We just wanted to see what the big city was like," Maddy told him.

  "Well, this ain't exactly a big city."

  "Compared to Somerton, it is," Maddy said.

  "Do you guys know Randy McReed? He's pretty new on the job."

  "Don't believe I've had the pleasure," John Lee said, shaking the other officer's hand.

  "Randy comes to us from Tifton, Georgia," Wilson said. "He decided he needed to come to Florida and sit in the sunshine and look at pretty girls on the beach. When we hired him, we didn't tell him that we’re a ways from the beach and the prettiest girl in this town has a hair lip and weighs 300 pounds."

  They all laughed, and Randy moved to sit down next to his partner and waved at them to take the other side of the booth. While they ate, they talked about police work in general, people they knew in common, both officers and miscreants alike, the counterfeit $10 bills that had been reported south along the I-75 corridor as far as Brooksville, and then Wilson asked about the McBride - Rittenhouse case.

  "The way I hear it, you guys had quite a mess over there."

  "It was beyond messy," John Lee said. "Not pretty at all."

  “While I hate talking bad about the dead, that Lonnie McBride was a total waste of skin," Wilson told them.

  "You knew Lonnie?"

  "Oh yeah, I knew Lonnie," Wilson said, shaking his head as he took a sip of his sweet tea. "I've had a couple of run-ins with him."

  "What kind of run-ins?"

  “Speeding. He had that hot ass Corvette and he had a lead foot. He didn't take being pulled over when he was exercising both of them very well."

  "Did he give you any trouble?"

  “First time I pulled him over was probably a year ago, and he started off telling me that my radar was wrong and I was just trying to hassle him because he had a red Corvette. I told him his car had nothing to do with the fact that he was speeding and that my radar was calibrated. He said he wasn't going to sign the ticket and I told him he had two choices, sign the ticket or go to jail. He didn't like that, but he did sign it."

  "And that was the first time you stopped him?"

  "Yeah. Last time was just about a month ago, give or take."

  "What happened then."

  "The same thing. He was speeding, but this time he had some woman with him, a real good looker and I think he was trying to impress her with what a badass he was. Told me I could stick my ticket book up my ass because he didn't care about me making my quota."

  "There was a woman with him? What did she look like?"

  "Like I said, John Lee, she was really hot. Long red hair, big boobs," Wilson looked at Maddy and said, "sorry about that, didn't mean to come across like a male chauvinist pig."

  Maddy laughed and said, “You are a male chauvinist pig, Wilson. It’s one of the reasons I love you."

  “Anyway,” the Lake city officer said, “he was kind of showing off for this woman, and I got him out of the car and put him in the back of my unit and sat there for 30 minutes, just to be ornery. He never shut up that whole time, telling me how important he was, telling me that he spent more on a suit than I earned in a month, typical crap like that."

  John Lee pulled his phone out of his pocket and fumbled through his photo gallery until he found Audrey Rittenhouse’s driver's license picture and showed it to Wilson. "Was this the woman that was with him?"

  “Yeah, that was her. I asked for her ID and she seemed reluctant, but she showed it to me. I remember the face but not the name right now. But she was from over there in Somerton County, too. Is she th
e one that was with him when he got killed?"

  “That's her,” John Lee said.

  "Well, I’ll tell you what. If I had a woman like that, I'd be in a hurry to get where they were going, too."

  "Where they were going?"

  "Once I finally let him out of the back of the car and gave him his ticket, I followed them to see if he was going to jump on it again," Wilson said, “but they went right up the road to a hotel there by the freeway and pulled in. I guess he needed to work off some of that aggression, if you know what I mean."

  ***

  The young man working at the front desk of the hotel started to tell them about company policies regarding the privacy of their guests and was talking about search warrants, but Wilson shut him up quickly by mentioning that he knew of two working girls that used the place for liaisons and how he might have to mention that fact to his department’s vice officers. Suddenly the clerk was a lot less obstinate. Ten minutes later they walked out with a USB drive of a video showing Lonnie McBride and Audrey Rittenhouse checking in. Thanking Wilson for the information and the assistance, they drove back to Somerton County with more information than they had come to town for.

  Chapter 29

  Back in Somerton County, they stopped at John Lee's grandparents’ house and were pleased to see that Billy's motorhome was still parked in the same place. Mama Nell came out on the porch as they got out of the Charger and said, "Ya’ll timed it just right. How does peach cobbler and ice cream sound?"

  "We just had dinner in Lake City a little while ago," John Lee told her.

  “I ain’t talkin’ about dinner, I’m talkin’ about dessert.”

  “I’m still pretty full.”

  "Hush up, John Lee," Maddy said. "There isn’t anything in the world better than your peach cobbler and ice cream, Mama Nell."

  They followed her inside, where Paw Paw and Billy were sitting at the table with bowls and spoons, waiting for dessert to be served.

  "Look who showed up," Mama Nell said.

  "That don't surprise me a bit," Paw Paw said. "John Lee's got a nose for food, you should know that by now."

  "Hey, I said I was full from eating dinner in Lake City," John Lee protested. "Maddy is the one that wanted peach cobbler."

  "Well then, your slightest wish is our command, Princess," Paw Paw said, smiling at Maddy.

  "I'm glad you're still here, Uncle Billy," John Lee said. “You were talking about leaving after I screwed up and told Bella you were here. By the way, I apologize again for that."

  "Nothing to apologize for," Billy said. "I'm the one who owes everybody an apology for the way she acted."

  “We were gonna work on Billy's brakes today, but the damn NAPA store ordered the wrong size shoes," Paw Paw said. “We got to go back in the morning and pick the right ones up."

  “You trying to get rid of me, Stan?"

  "Hell, yes I am, Billy. You’re eating me out of house and home!"

  “I'm not staying for the food," Billy said. “I'm just hanging around looking at Nell here, she’s so damn pretty. I think she’s almost ready to run away with me."

  "There you go again, trying to steal my woman."

  John Lee smiled at the banter between the two old friends. He was sure glad Uncle Billy decided to stay a while longer.

  “What were you over in Lake City for?"

  "Police business, Mama Nell."

  “Don't give me that nonsense, John Lee. It's not like I'm gonna go out and tell the whole neighborhood what you’re up to. I ain’t no blabbermouth!"

  "I didn't say that. But you know there's some things we need to keep to ourselves."

  “Well, that just don't make no sense to me!"

  “Just serve the damned cobbler, Nell," Paw Paw said. "Jesus, you just can't take no for an answer, can you?"

  "Don't you start on me, Stanley! I was just askin’ a question."

  “We were following up on some things about the accident, Mama Nell," Maddy said. “Just following some leads."

  “Was it an accident or a murder? Everybody sayin’ that somebody pushed that car into the train."

  "There's not been an official announcement yet," Maddy said. "But yeah, it looks that way. But again, nothing's official yet."

  “See there? Was that so hard, John Lee? Do ya see me runnin’ outside and tellin’ all the neighbors about that?"

  John Lee was used to his grandmother wanting to know everything about his life and his work, and just as used to knowing that Maddy would tell her anything she needed to know, within reason. But at the same time, everybody understood that there were certain things that had to be kept confidential.

  "Man, this is delicious," Billy said, taking a big spoonful of cobbler and ice cream from his bowl.

  "Why, thank you, Billy," Mama Nell said, pleased.

  "Not to bring up any more bad stuff," John Lee said, "but I guess after she left here, Bella went to the sheriff’s office and had a talk with D.W."

  "D.W.? Who’s that?"

  "D.W. Swindle," Paw Paw told him. "He's the sheriff."

  Billy set the spoon down in the bowl and asked, “Why in the world would she go talk to the sheriff?"

  "I guess she didn't like the fact that we made her leave," John Lee told him. “She was complaining about that. She was also complaining about you."

  "Me? Does she want him to help put me in a nursing home?"

  "I don't know about that," John Lee told him. "But according to D.W., she was saying that you're some kind of a rip off artist who's been cheating people all over the country."

  "Only people I ever cheated on was women," Billy said. "And I only done that because I'm so damn irresistible that all the gals keep throwing themselves at me."

  "If bullshit was dollars, you'd be a rich man, Billy," Paw Paw said to his old friend.

  “Well, anyway, she didn't impress D.W. much," John Lee said.

  Billy shook his head and said, "I don't know why that girl can’t just leave me alone."

  "Maybe you need to become incognito," Paw Paw suggested. "Change your name and drop off the map."

  “That's not as easy as it sounds," John Lee told him. “Especially not these days, with so much technology. Hell, I can log onto the internet and find out a lot about anybody I know, without even having to call Dispatch."

  “I don’t think that's a good thing," Mama Nell said. "Ain’t people got a right to privacy?"

  "I didn't say it was a good thing," John Lee told her. "But it's true. You’d be surprised what you can find out about someone by just doing some searching on Google and things like that."

  They made small talk as they enjoyed the dessert, Billy telling them about how beautiful the red rock area of Sedona, Arizona was, and relating the tale of a young RVing couple he had met who were enjoying their honeymoon until the motorhome they had rented turned out to be a junker that had broken down three times in their first week on the road. Billy said he had helped them fix a couple of items and suggested ways that they could enjoy their trip in spite of the many problems the rig had.

  "Where all have you been in your motorhome," Billy?"

  "Where haven’t I been? I've had it in every state except Hawaii, and if they ever build a bridge long enough, I’ll go there, too."

  "You don’t need no bridge," Paw Paw said. "Just get yourself a running start somewhere around Omaha. You should be able to shoot right across the water if you hit it hard enough."

  “Sometimes I think I’d like to do that when I get old.”

  "Old? Man, I'm just a kid at heart, John Lee," Billy told him."

  Paw Paw shook his head and said, “You may be a kid at heart, and you’re damn sure juvenile in your mind, but I’d bet that if we sawed you in half and counted the rings, you'd be older than Methuselah."

  “Don't you pick on Billy," Mama Nell said.

  "See there, Stan? The woman loves me. I'm telling you, I just might take her with me when I go."

  "I’d give you $500 for gas money if
you did," Paw Paw said with a grin.

  “Hey, take me and John Lee, too," Maddy said.

  “No, ma'am," Billy told her. “My motorhome has room for four to eat in and two to sleep in, and that's enough." Then he leaned toward Mama Nell and said, “Just us two lovebirds, sweetie.”

  “You know what? If I was a jealous man, I'd be reaching for my shotgun right about now," Paw Paw said.

  "Your shotgun? A minute ago you wanted to give me 500 bucks to take her off your hands."

  “Now don't you start, Billy," Mama Nell warned. “I was just about ready to give in to you until you started that nonsense."

  “No nonsense to it, Nell. I just figured we’d get some traveling money out of this old coot when we left. And as for that shotgun of yours, I ain’t worried, Stan. I’ve been shot by professionals. You amateurs don’t scare me a bit.”

  “Shoot, Billy, you wouldn’t know what to do with a good woman if you found one."

  "That's probably true, Stan. I never had me a good one yet. Well, some was good overnight, if you get my drift.”

  “You have a dirty mind, Billy."

  “Is that a bad thing, Nell?”

  “No, I was just admiring it," she assured him.

  ***

  John Lee drove Maddy home and she asked him if he wanted to come inside.

  "I can stay for a little bit," he told her. "But I better get home before too long or Magic’s going to waste away to nothing."

  “I think he'll last another half hour at least, don't you?"

  "Probably so.”

  She left him waiting on the couch while she went into her bedroom and dressed in lightweight leisure pants and a T-shirt, then came back and sat next to him.

  "John Lee, about that thing we were talking about, kids and all that. I wasn't trying to put any pressure on you or make you uncomfortable or anything like that. I just want us to be open about everything, okay?"

  "That's the only way to do it," he told her.

  "Speaking about being open about things, I had a call from Mister Farrell, that lawyer for the city’s insurance company, this morning."

  "What did he want?"

  "The same thing. He wants me to settle."