Everyone has a story

by Savi Sharma

  ‘I thought that was a new dress,’ Kabir said.

  Nisha gave him a shove. ‘Since when do men notice things like that?’ she asked playfully.

  ‘Since I met you,’ he said and blew her a kiss.

  I was caught up in the aura of happiness; I couldn’t help laughing, and then laughing some more for the sheer joy of the sound.

  ‘I’m still so surprised,’ Nisha said. ‘You are so transformed. And I don’t mean on the outside. You are different on the inside, too. You are almost glowing.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I just woke up feeling like the old Meera again. I had a long talk with myself and said, “You need to be real and true to yourself. Don’t run away from yourself, your dreams or the life which you deserve. Yes, you can still live more, learn more and love more than you’ve done so far. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Wake up and run towards the beautiful life you deserve.”’

  ‘Wow,’ Nisha murmured. ‘You are amazing.’

  ‘I think we need to celebrate,’ Kabir decided and Nisha clapped her hands. ‘It’s pretty quiet in here right now … the crew we have can handle it for a few hours. Let’s go grab dinner.’

  Nisha squeezed my arm. ‘I’m happy for you, Meera.’

  ‘I am too,’ Kabir seconded. ‘Our treat. Let’s go eat!’

  We had a wonderful meal and laughed a lot. It felt so good to be joking around again. When we finished, I thanked my friends for a wonderful meal.

  ‘Come back to the café,’ Nisha invited. ‘I’ll buy you a cappuccino. I know the owner,’ she teased, winking.

  ‘Thank you, but I think I’m going to head back to my apartment. I left my writing things there and I feel like I want to go back and write.’

  They both hugged me. ‘This has been a great evening,’ Kabir said.

  As I headed home, I wondered what Vivaan was doing. I realized I could think about him without that deep, biting hurt that I’d been carrying for months.

  VIVAAN

  20

  The Publisher

  When the plane finally touched down in India, I took a taxi directly to Kafe Kabir.

  Nothing had changed in the café. It was the same lively place that was packed full house. The coffee smell was tantalizing. I wanted my beloved black coffee, but there was something I wanted even more.

  ‘Hi Nisha, is Meera here?’ I asked, as Nisha looked at me as if she’d seen a ghost. She stood there in utter shock. I hugged her and asked again, ‘Is she here?’

  ‘No, you just missed her. She went with Kabir to the publisher. We are all hoping that they like her book.’ Her voice took on a chastising tone. ‘You would have known this if you had tried to contact her instead of just vanishing.’

  I groaned. I knew she was right, but did she have to point out what I had done?

  ‘She cried every single day after you left, Vivaan. You broke her into so many little pieces. Vivaan … really … how could you do that to her? To us?’

  Nisha passed me a cup of black coffee. I sipped it gratefully, although the thought crossed my mind that she might have spit in it. ‘I honestly think she would have handled it a bit better if you’d at least said goodbye to her. It was the fact you didn’t tell her that you were leaving. You told no one you were leaving, Vivaan. No one knew you quit your job at Citibank until Meera and Kabir went to see you.’

  ‘They went to see me?’ I asked, confused.

  ‘Yes, of course they went to see you and that was how they found out. Meera cared about you. We all cared about you, Vivaan. You didn’t even tell us you were closing all your emails, and you turned off your phone. She waited for a message from you every day. Every single day. She never received one. She hung on to those broken dreams which seemed to be spinning her around.’

  ‘I don’t understand. I thought Meera and I were just friends,’ I whispered.

  ‘Friends say goodbye to one another. Friends talk. Friends explain things. If your idea of friendship is just walking out one day, you need to go back to school and learn what it really means to have friends.

  ‘Vivaan, you just left without a word. What you did was escape because you didn’t want to deal with something. That is what you are very good at, isn’t that what you said in the beginning? You didn’t even say goodbye to Kabir or me. I thought you two shared something special. You might have only been financially contributing, but to Kabir, you were true partners. I guess you proved with your mysterious persona that you have more to you than just who you had everyone believing you were.’

  I hung my head. I knew I had a lot to do to make up for all the hurt I had caused, but to hear Nisha lay it out in front of me like that made me feel so ashamed.

  She walked around the counter and wrapped her arms around me. For a second, I froze. Here this woman was, yelling at me for leaving, and then she was hugging me?

  ‘Most of all, Vivaan,’ she continued. ‘Friends forgive.’

  We hugged for several moments as I felt her anger subside. I cared about Nisha, so her forgiveness was the most beautiful gift she could offer.

  Suddenly, I realized who Nisha was referring to. I knew who the publisher was. ‘Nisha,’ I began in a rush, ‘you are right. I made a huge mistake, and I want to make it right. I’m sorry to run off again, but I need to find Kabir and Meera.’

  ‘Good luck,’ I heard her call after me.

  This publisher was a friend of Kabir’s that he had often gone on and on about to Meera. He always promised that he would one day schedule a meeting between them.

  I walked into the receptionist’s small office. No one was there at the desk, so I walked on towards the office where the publisher and editor sat. They made the decision on whether to publish a book or not. I could hear voices through the partially-closed door.

  ‘I have to admit, Meera, even though this is your first book, I do like it. It’s fascinating and well-written. You have no experience in this field, yet it seems that something very special has inspired you, and it touched your heart in the deepest way. You got the readers to feel through the words that are on the pages. You can feel the love that is forming between your two main characters, Vivaan and Meera. You showed us that sometimes the smallest changes in life are where the largest impacts come from. You created this mysterious man who falls in love with a girl who loves to write. I am stunned by the plot line and love it beyond words,’ the publisher said from the other side of the door.

  I gloated in the hallway as I listened.

  ‘There is one problem,’ the publisher finally said after a long pause.

  ‘What would that be?’ Meera asked.

  ‘The book isn’t finished. You ended it where Vivaan leaves. You never showed what happens to Vivaan. All you have shown is the fact that they fall in love, and he gets up one day and never contacts her. That was the ending of the book. What happens to Vivaan? Does he embark on that world journey? Does he ever return? If he doesn’t return, does Meera begin to love someone else?’

  ‘I … I don’t know what happened to Vivaan,’ Meera whispered.

  ‘This would just be a waste of time if you don’t finish it. We cannot publish a book that is unfinished. I understand that sometimes, in life, the smallest things make the largest impact, but you must finish the book properly if you want me to publish it.’

  I quickly barged in. ‘Vivaan is here. Turn around and look at me. I am back, and now I want you to finish the book.’

  Meera stared at me, her beautiful black hair accenting a face that had gone shockingly pale. I stared, waiting for her to move. Finally, she shot out of her chair. ‘Vivaan!’ Meera shouted.

  ‘Meera, I am back,’ I said with a smile.

  Meera burst into tears and started leaving. I reached out and pulled her to me before she could walk through the door. I would not let her escape as I had.

  I held
her hands and said. ‘Maybe we should go to Kafe Kabir and have a cup of coffee so we can all know about my explorations.’

  Kabir didn’t say anything, he just hugged me, and then we all made our way to Kafe Kabir.

  ~

  ‘I wanted to tell you that I am incredibly sorry for just vanishing like that,’ I began when I was settled at a table with my beloved friends. ‘I wasn’t thinking about the fact that it would hurt you; those were never my intentions. The choices I made while leaving were very wrong. I never said goodbye to you or Kabir and Nisha.’ I nodded to each as I spoke their names.

  ‘That was a choice I have regretted every single day that I have been gone. I should have told you that my travels seemed to be calling, beckoning … and that it was my time to embark on my dream.’ I sighed, running my thumb over Meera’s beautiful, long fingers. ‘It was a great adventure. I saw a beautiful sunset while in Paris and I missed you so badly. I wanted you there to share it with me.’

  I searched her face, her eyes, for a hint of how she was feeling.

  She was still silent.

  ‘Tomorrow I want to see you. I have something important to tell you,’ I ducked my head and whispered in her ear. Then, louder, I said with a smile, ‘But tonight you can pick my brain about all my adventures,’ and began narrating the memoirs of my travels.

  One more day and Meera would know the truth. It was something that had been weighing on my mind lately, and I was nervous about it. But, after the encounter I’d had with the older gentleman in Paris, I knew it was time to tell Meera everything about me and my feelings.

  21

  The Wedding

  By the time I got back to the corner table in the café the next day, I had realized that Meera wasn’t happy to see me. She was upset and angry, but didn’t speak of it.

  ‘You have something to tell me?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes,’ I began nervously. ‘I thought I should explain to you why I left without telling you anything.’ I sensed that she was expecting something else and I let out a sigh and held her hand.

  In her other hand, I placed a marriage card dated for 2012, three years ago.

  Her eyes were filled with confusion, then anger as she read the names out loud.

  ‘Vivaan weds Radha? You were married?’ she asked with such anger in her tone.

  ‘Meera,’ I begged, ‘will you please let me tell you the story before you react? It isn’t what you think.’

  ‘What I think?’ Her voice rose an octave. ‘You don’t even want to know what I think!’

  I blocked out her anger as I continued. ‘I had been in love before, and it was too painful to talk about when you wanted to know my story. So I showed you in Kabir’s eyes, his love story. Don’t get me wrong, love is a wonderful thing! It is the beating of two hearts as they play the same song. I went to college with Radha. Everything was going great. We exchanged numbers and our relationship started blossoming into something more. We fell madly in love with one another; it was the type that made you feel dizzy.’ I took a deep breath. ‘We decided to get married.’

  I could see Meera breaking down, but I had to continue.

  ‘I was so excited when she agreed to marry me. She was beautiful, funny and very intelligent. She always tried to help people in all possible ways.’

  ‘Vivaan,’ Meera said coldly. ‘I truly do not want to hear how in love you were!’

  ‘Please, just hear me out,’ I said, grabbing her hand to keep her from standing up.

  She pulled her hand away from mine, but nodded. ‘Fine. I’ll listen,’ she huffed.

  ‘Thank you,’ I responded. ‘The wedding plans moved forward. Everything was coming together so beautifully.’

  Meera groaned. Did she just roll her eyes? I wasn’t sure. I knew I was upsetting her, but I really needed to push on and tell her the full story. She deserved to hear it.

  I shuddered, bracing myself to tell her the rest of the story. I took a deep drink of water and pressed on.

  ‘The day of the wedding came. I went to Pingale Garden where we were to be married. I was so excited; I couldn’t wait to see my bride.’ I took a deep breath. ‘But she never came.’

  Meera gasped in surprise.

  ‘I tried calling her but she didn’t pick up her phone. We waited for half an hour, then an hour. I was frantic. Radha was always on time and it was, after all, her wedding day.’

  ‘What happened?’ Meera asked quietly.

  ‘She was missing for three days. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. Nothing. The police came and for a few horrible moments, I was a suspect in her disappearance. Can you imagine? The woman I was to marry disappeared, and if that wasn’t bad enough, I was accused of some crime!’

  Meera shook her head violently. ‘I cannot imagine,’ she said. ‘What a horrible thing for you to have had to deal with.’

  I took a shuddering sigh. ‘They finally found her body…’

  ‘Her body? Vivaan, oh no.’

  I nodded. ‘She was on her way to the wedding and she wanted a few moments to herself. She was already dressed in her beautiful gown, with a stunning diamond necklace and earrings.’

  My voice became flat, even to my ears. ‘She was raped and murdered.’

  ‘No!’ Meera screamed.

  ‘Yes,’ I said with tears in my eyes. ‘Her body was found in a park, half undressed. The jewellery was taken; even the earrings were ripped out of her ears!’ I said angrily.

  ‘Please, please tell me you were never accused of it.’

  ‘No. I was at the wedding venue when she was … killed.’

  ‘Did they find who did it?’

  ‘Eventually, they did.’

  Meera didn’t say a word. She didn’t say she was sorry about what I’d gone through, like she had about Nisha’s abortion or Kabir’s story. She just sat there.

  ‘So that’s it,’ I said and sighed again. ‘Now you know why I can never return your affection, Meera. I am so sorry.’

  ‘Are you okay?’ Meera asked softly.

  ‘I will be one day,’ I responded. ‘For now I just keep these memories tucked away in my heart. I never want to forget Radha and the love we had.’

  I realized at that moment that my hands were shaking, and I was covered with sweat.

  ‘The fateful day still haunts me. I wish that you could have met her,’ I said. ‘I know that’s weird, but she touched so many people.’

  Meera squeezed my hand, the only thing she did as her eyes had tears in them. She swallowed hard to prevent herself from crying.

  ‘I was lost without her, Meera,’ I said. ‘And I still am.’

  Meera was now crying as hard as I was. We both seemed to be feeling the pain of love. I didn’t mean to make her cry again; I really didn’t. But she needed to know my story and whom my heart had belonged to and always would belong to.

  ‘I understand that you loved Radha and that you will always have a special place in your heart for her,’ Meera finally said.

  ‘I told you it wasn’t what you thought. I never cheated on Radha in your company. I have no girlfriend or woman on Earth who inhabits that spot. This is why I decided to travel. I couldn’t handle all the memories and nightmares that surround me with Radha. She surrounds me in every breath of Pune and India. She was what kept this place lively for me. There is nothing that has kept me here since. I travelled to try and free myself from the pain that I am constantly in from her loss.’

  Meera nodded slowly as if she understood. I wasn’t sure if she did or if she was just agreeing.

  She wrapped her tiny hand around mine. ‘I am sorry beyond words that you lost your bride on the day of your wedding. Radha sounds like she was a wonderful woman. She was very lucky to have you as her fiancé for the time you two had together. I know she would be happy with whomever you find after.’

  �
�That’s what I need to explain to you, I need to make you understand that I cannot love anyone else. I am too heartbroken and still in love with Radha. You must know why I cannot commit to you. I can’t give you the love which you deserve. I am already committed to Radha, and you deserve someone who should be committed to you fully. I have enjoyed your company and the time we spent together; do not ever get me wrong on that. I just can’t love you the way I love Radha.’

  Meera stood up then, and asked, ‘Why did you give me all those gifts? Why did you care so much? Why did you kiss me? Didn’t you love me ever? Not for a single moment?’

  Before I could answer, she left.

  MEERA

  22

  The Climb

  His revelations were too much for me to bear. Yes, I understood Vivaan’s love, and as he’d explained what happened to Radha, his running made so much sense.

  Because I loved him, I wanted to stay and comfort him, but also because I loved him, I needed to escape myself and process the story that he had told me.

  Tears streaming down my face, I ran to my car and began to drive. Where, I didn’t know, but as long as there was a road in front of me, I would keep going.

  Sometimes I took a road on the right, sometimes on the left. Most of the time, I just kept driving on a straight path.

  Suddenly, I realized I was in Gunjawane. Somewhere above me was Rajgad, an ancient fort. I hadn’t been there in years, but the old stone paths were calling to me.

  Before I left my car, I tapped out a quick message to Nisha. ‘I’m okay,’ I typed. ‘Going to climb to Rajgad. Will let you know when I’m down. Don’t worry.’

  The climb was not too difficult, but I was glad I had sensible shoes on. I went up the path quickly, and enjoyed the burn in my legs as I climbed. I needed to feel that pain. I needed to feel alive.

  As I approached the fort, my lungs were burning, and I slowed down as I navigated the well-worn path through a meadow.

  Reaching Rajgad, a soft rain began to fall, cooling my overheated body. I stopped at one of the water tanks and took a long drink of water before I went forward.