Second Chance

by Shaun Dowdall

  She felt awkward, embarrassed by how messy she looked. As James looked across the table at her, she couldn’t help but blush, wishing she could disappear for a moment to make herself more presentable.

  What really worried her about how she was feeling was how foreign her emotions were. Never before had she suffered from this childish behavior. At least, not in years. Perhaps not since she had left primary school. Now she sat across from a man she barely knew, hoping that he wasn’t scared off by how she looked.

  It didn’t matter that he had bigger problems to worry about; all Hannah could focus on was what he might be feeling about her.

  She found herself thinking about how James saw her. Did he just see a neurotic mess or a childish girl? She was desperate to know. Every time their eyes met, she felt her heart beginning to race.

  They had chosen a spot that hid them from prying eyes, a place where they could talk in relative safety without anyone judging her. It had been the first thing Hannah had considered upon entering the small cafe, what people might think when she suddenly started talking to herself.

  The fact that no one else could see James presented quite a problem. If she walked around talking to him, it was only a matter of time before she ended up facing some very difficult questions. Combined with the recent trauma she had faced, people would think she had lost it completely, something she wasn’t so sure about herself.

  “Is anyone looking?” she whispered, peeking over her cup at James.

  He shook his head gently, smiling as he did. He was so casual about everything, as though the world was a joke to him. The way he managed to take everything in stride irked Hannah, who had always been so serious, considering every action before making it in the past.

  James was her opposite, so laid back, down to earth, acting before thinking. She found herself envying him, wishing she could be more like him. From such a young age, her father had taught her to think first, to consider every action and its consequences before moving ahead.

  “I feel like I’m cracking up,” she said, looking over her shoulder to make sure no one was staring at her. “You can’t possibly be real!”

  “Well, I am,” James answered, as though his statement made everything okay. “I can prove it if you like.”

  Hannah looked at James as though it were he who had gone mad. She knew there was no way he could prove he existed, but she was willing to let him continue.

  “Go on then,” she prompted, a part of her desperately longing to know the truth.

  James stood up from the table and disappeared for a moment, leaving Hannah waiting patiently, sipping her coffee, wondering what the man had planned.

  A minute later, he returned, slumping back into the chair opposite Hannah, smiling victoriously at her.

  “The man by the sugar table across the room… the title of the book he is reading is ‘Death and Magic,’” James explained. “You haven’t seen it yet as he has his back to you. Go grab some sugar and try to get a glance of his book.”

  Hannah looked skeptically at James, but curiosity got the better of her. She had to know if he were real or not.

  She stood up, walking slowly across the cafe. The lights were dim, a soft music playing in the background. She could hear the storm raging outside, the rain hammering against the glass windows, drowning out the hushed murmur of voices, couples and friends lost in conversation with one another.

  Soon, she found herself by the selection of sugars and stirrers, the man with his book just to her left. She reached out, grabbing a small, white packet and turned slowly, stealing a look at the book the man held in his hands. The title was indeed, ‘Death and Magic’.

  Her heart racing, she returned to the table, hands shaking as she sat back down. She looked into James’ eyes, struggling to keep her breathing under control as the man looked expectantly at her.

  “Well?” he asked.

  Hannah didn’t know what to say; she didn’t even know if this proved anything. It could have been her mind playing tricks on her once again, but it all felt too real. Even without this evidence, she knew what she felt, and what she felt was that James was there with her.

  “Okay,” she whispered. “Maybe you are real, but what do we do about it?”

  “No idea. I haven’t really thought that far ahead,” he admitted. “After all, I have just left my own funeral. Kind of have a lot on my mind.”

  Hannah nodded, suddenly struck by how insensitive she had been. The man was right. He had just left his own funeral, something no one should have to go through, and all she could think about was getting him to prove that he really existed.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “Not just for dragging you to your funeral but for everything. It’s my fault you are here in the first place. I’ve been a horrible person.”

  James shook his head, reaching his hands across the table and holding them out to her. Hannah smiled, reaching to take his hands in hers, shocked for a moment as they passed right through hers.

  “I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to that,” James murmured, frowning at his hands that he now held up in front of his face, carefully examining them.

  Hannah watched as he inspected his hands, as though he had never seen them before. She had felt something as she reached out for him, but that feeling had been washed away within seconds.

  “We are going to figure this mess out, okay?” she said, trying to sound confident. “I promise that I won’t give up on you.”

  James lowered his hands and looked at her, his eyes darting to the side. “That’s great, but first I think we need to figure out how we are going to make you look a little less crazy.”

  Hannah looked puzzled, and then turned her head to where James was looking, noticing for the first time the looks she was getting from those nearby. She realized then that she had given up whispering in an attempt to make James feel better, speaking too loudly and drawing unwanted attention.

  “Okay, how do we do that?” she asked, looking towards James pleadingly.

  The man smiled once again, one of his knowing smiles that suggested he already had just the solution.

  “Leave it to me,” he answered. “I have just the thing.”

  Chapter Eight

  ~James~

  James led Hannah into the gadget shop on the busy high street of York. As soon as they stepped through the door, he could see the look of confusion on her face as she scanned the shelves, looking for what he had sent her to collect.

  He stood back, letting her wander around, watching as she curiously poked at the different items. She looked far more casual today, her hair worn up, a yellow, tank top and a knee-length denim skirt replacing her more formal attire from the previous day.

  The look suited her, helping her to look her age and demonstrating there was still some life hidden within the woman. James had noticed that Hannah hid behind a formal exterior, dressing far older than she was, desperately trying to fit into a world she was not yet a part of.

  Watching her leave that disguise behind made him smile, as did seeing her true personality shine through for the first time.

  The idea of coming to the gadget store came to him in the cafe as people stared at Hannah as though she were insane. She needed an excuse to talk to herself, and although it wouldn’t completely stop people from looking at her, he knew that a Bluetooth headset would give her a good enough reason.

  If anyone paid any notice to her, they would see the headset in her ear and assume she was talking to someone on her phone. It wasn’t the perfect solution, but it was the best he could think of.

  After letting Hannah browse, James joined her, standing in front of a large display.

  “Which one is the best to get?” Hannah whispered beside him.

  He couldn’t help but laugh at the question. Hannah had been inquisitive, asking a number of questions all night about what headset she should get, despite him pointing out to her that she would not actually be using it for calls.

  “Just
grab the cheapest one, remember?” James replied.

  Hannah nodded, reaching up and grabbing a box from the display, walking towards the checkout, followed closely by James.

  He watched on as Hannah paid for the headset, observing those around him. For the first time, he was able to watch in complete secrecy. Human behavior had always fascinated him, learning what made others tick a curiosity of his. He had learned a lot during his early career, attending a number of courses relating to the human mind.

  Now he stood invisible to everyone around him, watching as people went about their business. He noticed the looks two men gave Hannah, how they whispered something, no doubt inappropriate, to each other. They were completely unaware he was there, that he was watching them.

  A sudden pang of jealousy struck him, rising as if from nowhere. He hated he could no longer affect the world, that he could no longer truly play a part in anyone’s life, even Hannah’s. These people went about their day, not truly realizing what it was they had.

  He had been the same only days before, drifting from day to day, never cherishing what he had, taking life for granted.

  He knew it shouldn’t bother him, that it was selfish to wish he could trade places with these people, but he couldn’t help the thoughts that crept into his mind.

  “You okay?” he heard Hannah ask beside him.

  James looked over, shocked that Hannah had spoken to him so openly in public, when he saw she had her phone pressed to her ear.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered. “You got the headset?”

  “Yep, I just got the one you told me to,” she replied, chuckling at the same time.

  Hannah’s positivity chased away James’ dark mood. The girl had more of an effect on him than he cared to admit, her presence lighting up his day.

  She turned away from him and left the store, stepping out into the hustle and bustle of the town center. The pair merged with the stream of people walking along the street, the noise of the conversations around them intermingling.

  The sun beat down, a stark contrast to the storm the day before. On both sides of the street, old buildings stood majestically, the white stone supported by wooden beams, reminiscent of a medieval town.

  As they walked, Hannah tore into the packaging beside him, pulling the small headset out and putting it on. She looked at James and smiled, giving him a subtle thumbs-up.

  “Well, hopefully, this will make me look a little less crazy,” she said, grinning up at him.

  “Finger crossed,” he replied.

  “This was a pretty smart idea,” she said. “What made you think of it?”

  James thought about the question. It had been quite some time since anyone had asked him a question that forced him to think about his past. Although he had a large group of friends, he had always kept his distance, never really opening up to anyone.

  “I used to work in security, and we used them,” he finally answered, deciding if he didn’t talk about it now, he may never get another chance.

  “Really?” she asked, sounding surprised by his response. “I can’t picture you doing that.”

  “Yeah, it was a short job to be honest,” he admitted. “Things got out of hand at one of the first gigs I was attending. There was a girl, Claire, the star of the show, who was pretty demanding, telling us she wanted her fans to be able to get up close to her. Despite our training and my better judgment, we let her have her way.”

  “What happened?” Hannah asked.

  “A crazed fan happened,” James answered bluntly. “The guy had a knife, and Claire was dead before any of us could react. After that, I’ve never really been able to face the idea of trying to protect someone. I should have known better.”

  They walked on in silence, James taking the time to think about what he had said. He hadn’t thought about that night for a long time but even now, he could still remember the feeling of Claire’s blood on his hands as he fought to control the bleeding.

  He still blamed himself, knowing better than to let a client have their way. He was the one with the training, he knew better, but he had caved to her. Officials had chalked it up to bad luck, but he knew where the blame really laid. If he had put his foot down, the girl would still be alive.

  “It’s not your fault,” Hannah said. “Even if you have to blame yourself for what happened, you did protect me.”

  James considered Hannah’s words. He had protected her, saving her life. Did that redeem him from his past mistake?

  “That’s true,” he replied. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to put a dampener on things.”

  Hannah grinned back at him, her eyes lighting up as they met his. “I suppose you can always count on the dead guy to ruin the mood.”

  She hurried off ahead, leaving James to follow through the crowd. He was sure at that moment, that if his heart could still beat, it would have been thundering in his chest. Hannah really had captured his soul.

  Chapter Nine

  ~James~

  James sat on the sofa beside Hannah, the feeling of tiredness finally creeping in. The pair had stayed up into the early hours of the morning together, talking and getting to know each other, neither one admitting they were actually exhausted.

  At first, James had been surprised to feel anything at all. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept, the past few days merging into a blur, but now he desperately wanted to crawl into bed.

  Hannah leaned back, tugging her knees up to her chest, curling up beside James, smiling up at him, her brown eyes glittering in the dim light.

  “So why medicine?” James found himself asking.

  Hannah didn’t answer straight away. Instead, she remained silent, thinking about her answer.

  James had learned a lot about her, and one thing she was passionate about was medicine. She was studying in university, pushing herself hard with the aim of one day being able to help others. What he hadn’t learned was why she was so passionate about the subject.

  He knew that something spurred her on, noticing how she referred to something in her past, never quite explaining what it was. Every time she began to explain the beginning of her studies, she would trail off into silence, continuing the subject but skipping over something important.

  “Five years ago, I lost both of my parents to cancer,” she answered, the smile disappearing from her face. “It was sudden with my mother. Only six months after we lost her, my dad was diagnosed. I think he gave up on life, refusing to fight.”

  “I’m sorry,” James said, immediately regretting bringing up such a painful subject, finally understanding why she hadn’t mentioned it earlier.

  “It’s okay,” Hannah said. “It inspired me to go into medicine. It might sound foolish, but I hope one day that maybe I can help spare someone the pain my brother and I had to go through.”

  “That doesn’t sound stupid at all,” James replied. “In fact, it sounds admirable.”

  He thought about how well Hannah was handling this entire situation. She had freaked out at first, but when she had realized it was real, that he wasn’t some part of her imagination, she had really risen to the challenge, pushing herself to help him. That caring nature was what drove her to help people, something that he truly admired.

  “So you have a brother then?” James asked, probing for more.

  Hannah nodded, rubbing her tired eyes. “Yeah, his name is Daniel. He’s three years older than I am, and he really looked out for me after my parents passed away. I don’t know how I would have coped without him.”

  Hannah spoke more about her brother, her speech becoming slurred as sleep finally won. James sat silently, listening to Hannah as she spoke, watching as she finally fell asleep.

  Soon after she had drifted off, James stood up, stretching his legs and pacing around her living room, deep in thought.

  He was grateful he had finally been given a chance to meet Hannah, but at the same time, he regretted never speaking to her when he was alive. He found himself wishing for mor
e, hoping for a future they could never have. His life was over, after all.

  The situation felt like torture, fate taunting him, dangling what could have been just outside of his reach. He had given up on life too soon, letting his mistakes drag him down into a pit of depression, but now, it was too late for him to make amends. He had let his life go to waste, something he had been determined not to do.

  The temperature of the room suddenly dipped, an icy cold gripping James as he paced across the carpet. The lights flickered, the bulbs sizzling quietly, shadows dancing around the walls.

  He stopped still, the sound of footsteps catching his attention, a soft scraping followed by a dull thud. The footsteps grew louder, the lights flickering faster, threatening to die at any moment.

  James turned around, searching for the source of the noise, his eyes darting from side to side, searching the shadows for movement. With each step, he could hear the sound of dripping, slow but constant.

  His eyes settled on movement, a shape emerging from the shadows across the room. A woman entered, her skin deathly pale, her long, dark hair soaking wet, dripping water all over the floor. She wore a white gown that clung to her thin frame, as wet as her hair.

  Looking at James through milky white eyes, she took labored breaths as she stood before him, her dark veins standing out against her almost-translucent skin.

  “You do not belong here,” the woman said, her voice a hoarse whisper. “You belong to the dead!”

  James stood frozen in place, too scared to utter a word. The woman terrified him more than anything in his life had.

  She staggered closer, her arms held out ahead, her fingers clawing at the air, reaching out for him. “You belong with us,” she continued. “Not the living—the dead own you now.”