Edited by Emma Mack, Tink’s Typos
Copyright © 2013 by Tamsyn Bester
Cover Design by © Sommer Stein, Perfect Pear Creative Covers
PHOTO COPYRIGHT © Toski Covey, Toski Covey Photography – Custom Design
Tamsyn Bester. Begin Again. Kindle Edition
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Firstly, I’d like to thank my parents, my family and my friends for their continued support. It means the world to me!
Then to my amazing team of Beta readers who always made time to read the bits & pieces of this book I sent! Thank you goes to Shanora Williams, Michelle Davis Grad, Emma Mack, Susan Davis Provorse, Ullanda Artis, and Sirenda McNece – can’t thank you ladies enough!! To Christine Stanley at This Redhead Loves Books, who is the genius responsible for my PR, it has been so much fun getting to know you! Your support is greatly appreciated, as is all your hard work <3
Then, a very special thanks goes out to Michelle Davis Grad and Emma Mack! Michelle a.k.a Mamma, you have been with me from the beginning, ever since Beneath Your Beautiful popped into my head, and I am so grateful for everything you’ve done to help me! Love your face! Then Emma, I’m not sure if this book would be finished if it weren’t for all our Skype sessions! THANK YOU <3
I’d also like to thank Toski Covey at Toski Covey Photography – Custom Design, and Sommer Stein at Perfect Pear Creative for another amazing cover! To my cover models, Mariah Jane and D.J Adkins – you are my perfect Demi and Brody, THANK YOU <3
And finally, to my amazing readers! Without you I wouldn’t be living this dream <3 THANK YOU <3
Begin Again has by far been my greatest challenge and it has been an incredibly tiring journey to write this story, both mentally and emotionally. I wrote it at a very difficult time in my life when I was experiencing so many changes.
Demi and Brody’s story was not an easy feat but I pushed through because my readers wanted their story. I hope it isn’t a disappointment, and that each and very reader who asked for, or more like demanded, I write this will fall in love with these characters.
No one can really explain what it takes to sit down and write a book – by the end you’re left exhausted, and stripped bare, and when you send it out into the world, you hope and pray that someone will love it as much as you do. I am very proud of this story and I feel I that Demi and Brody deserved having their book written.
Finally, I would like to thank the readers who demanded this story be written – I hope you love the hell out of it!
All my love,
Tamsyn
I collapsed on Brody’s chest, his heart racing right alongside mine. We were exhausted but it had been worth getting to that point. The sheets were gathered around my waist, covering us from my hips down, and the pillows were strewn across the room. The last streaks of sunlight shone across his muscular stomach, making him look like a God, basked in eternal sunlight. I looked up, resting my chin between his pectoral muscles, and found his half-lidded gaze fixed on me.
His dirty blonde hair was a mess, sticking up in every direction. He looked so damn sexy that way. I smiled and he wiped my hair from my sweaty forehead. “What?” I asked with a light, breathless giggle. Brody’s mouth tipped up into a lazy grin that made my insides do flip-flops. Not that it took much from him to solicit that response, or any response for that matter, from my body. He knew what got me going and that grin just happened to be one of those things.
“That was…incredible,” he murmured. “That thing you did with your hips was new.” I blushed and bit my lip. “I might have to do it again when you’re misbehavin’.”
“I might let you,” he sighed, looking content. “You look gorgeous like this.” His voice had that rich timber to it that made women want to rip off their own underwear and throw it at him. It made my insides quiver and I tried hard not to squeeze my thighs together in anticipation. He was still buried in deep and if I had to squeeze anything he’d be ready to go again. I needed rest so there was no need for me to stir the beast a fourth time.
I scrunched my nose. “I look gorgeous sweaty and out of breath?”
He chuckled and the vibrations bounced between us before crash landing at the spot where we were still connected. “Especially when you’re sweaty and out of breath.”
I slapped his chest playfully and he caught my wrist. “You just like getting me this way,” I said. “You’re a caveman.”
His lips brushed my pulse and my breath stuttered. I felt him stir between my legs and the sensations made me squirm.
“Only with you, baby,” he whispered. He licked his lips and without warning sat upright. His arms wrapped around my back and he shifted me forward so that we stayed joined. I felt him harden.
“Again?” I asked. I shouldn’t have been surprised though. Brody had more stamina than a raging Bull during mating season. He knew how to take pleasure from my body and he knew how to give it. The man was a talent in the sack and he knew it. He was also all mine.
Brody watched me intently, his brown eyes searching my face. Suddenly I wondered if he’d somehow figured out my secret. But how? I’d only found out earlier today and had every intention of telling him my news. Well, our news. But that was before he attacked me and took me to bed. Not that I was complaining. I liked where we were, the way our bodies were positioned as if they were made for the other.
Brody’s voice came quietly, but I had no trouble hearing him. “I need to tell you something.”
I swallowed hard. Oh God, I thought. He knows. He’s going to leave me.
“O-okay,” I stuttered, blood rushing to my ears.
“I got a call today.” Oh crap, someone from the doctor’s office called him and told him I’m – “I got a job offer in Chicago.”
I started apologizing before what he said registered. “I’m so sorry Brody, I should’ve – wait, what? You got a call from Chicago?”
My body sagged. At least now I would be the one to tell him, instead of having to hear from a nurse at the hospital.
“The C.E.O of Johnson Waterman called me. A job opened up in their agency and they’re offering it to me.”
Johnson Waterman was one of the biggest and most successful sports recruitment agencies in the United States. Brody had been waiting for this opportunity since graduating two years before and now that it was in front of him, I had no idea how to respond. Of course my nerves had everything to do with what I had to tell him since it could very well change everything, not only for him, but for both of us together.
“That’s amazing, Brody,” I said with a half smile. The look in his brown eyes told m
e he wasn’t buying it. I never did have a good poker face. Then again, neither did Brody. Everything started to click into place and I realized that Brody had used sex to butter me up for this. That’s why he had been so impatient when I got home.
He opened his mouth to speak but I beat him to it. “Is that why you were so eager to get me into bed?” My half-smile faltered when he hesitated and looked down. I tried to pull away but he wouldn’t have it and tightened his grip.
“Will you listen to me, please?” he pleaded softly. He was patronizing me and I hated it. It was supposed to be a good day for us but I couldn’t help but feel my excitement fade. I should’ve told him, I chastise myself internally. Then maybe we’d be having an entirely different conversation.
“This is a big opportunity for me,” he started, “for us. Think about the life we can have in Chicago. Just you and me.” I wanted to add and our baby but it wasn’t exactly how I had envisioned telling him I was pregnant. Surprise.
I stared at him, unable to reconcile the man in front of me with the man whose baby I was carrying. I wanted a family with Brody more than anything, but I wanted to stay here in Breckinridge.
“I can’t leave now, Brody. Graduation is less than a month away and I’ve already accepted the job at Breckinridge Elementary next year.”
“Then you come to Chicago after Graduation and we can find you a job at a school there. Or even better, you don’t have to work.”
I shook my head. “No.” I shoved at his chest and his grip finally loosened enough for me to get off his lap. I winced, feeling a little a sensitive between my legs, and grabbed a sheet to wrap myself in. Brody was sitting buck ass naked in the middle of my King-size bed and I hardly noticed. I was too preoccupied with how he’d planned out our entire lives without talking to me about it.
“I don’t understand what the big deal is, Demetria. This has been my dream and - ”
“Don’t you dare,” I interrupted, pointing my finger at him from across the room. “You know how I feel about leaving here and still, you make this big decision for both of us without talking to me about it first.”
Brody climbed off the bed and slipped his jeans on, not bothering to button them up.
“I’m talking to you about it now aren’t I?”
I snorted. “Yes, after we had sex three times and after you’d already made the decision without me. How does that seem fair?”
Brody threw his arms up, clearly as exasperated with me as I was with him. “Fair? You want to talk about fair? What about the fact that I’m miserable here, but I suck it up to make you happy? What about my dreams huh? Do you think I want to be stuck here for the rest of my life?”
I froze and my eyes widened. His words hit me like a bulldozer and I struggled to inhale oxygen into my lungs. Brody saw the shock on my face and stepped closer but I put my hand up to stop him. I hugged the sheet closer to me, as if it would somehow make the hurt pounding in my chest go away.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said loudly. My eyes traveled over his face, taking in the roguish features that had become so familiar to me. He might’ve been all man now, but in his eyes I saw the little boy I’d loved all my life.
“You’re not happy with me.” It was a statement, rather than a question.
“That’s not what - ”
“When do you leave?”
He sighed and rubbed his face before resting his hands on his hips.
“I fly out tomorrow to meet with the C.E.O.”
“Tomorrow?” I almost yell. My hand instinctively goes to my flat belly but Brody doesn’t notice.
“It all happened so quickly,” he retorts quickly. “What was I supposed to do? Turn down my dream job?”
“Talk to me first!” I screamed. “This doesn’t only change your life, Brody! It changes mine too!”
“I get that, Demetria, I do! That’s why I said you can come to Chicago when you’ve graduated and we can be together.”
I wiped my face, furious that I was crying. I never cried. It wasn’t part of who I was. I simply picked myself up and moved on, like I had always done. But now my hormones were all over the place and there was no stopping that or the tears running down my face.
“So that’s it then? You’re going and I’m supposed to follow you when I’m done with school?”
“Fuck, Demi, I want to build a life for us, why can’t you understand that?”
“What’s wrong with the life we have here?” I asked. I hiccupped and fought the bile clawing its way up my throat.
Brody hung his head and shook it. “It’s not the life I want for us.”
“Stop doing that, stop saying ‘for us’. I like my life here, and what we have is enough - ”
“Not for me,” Brody snapped, cutting me off. “I need more, Demi.”
I reared back as if he’d slapped me and sucked in a sharp breath. I took a step back and pulled myself together long enough to say what I needed to.
“Obviously you’ve made up your mind,” I swallowed, willing the words to come out before the vomit did, “and I’ve made up mine.”
“You’re coming with me?” Brody sounded hopeful. I hated myself for giving him that hope, but I wasn’t only thinking about myself. Brody and I clearly wanted different things and I’d spent too many years not putting myself first.
“No,” I whispered hoarsely, shaking my head. “My home is here.”
I turned around and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.
“Demi,” Brody called me through the door. “Please, baby.”
I ignored the plea in his voice and cupped my mouth to muffle the sobs wracking from my body. I couldn’t bring myself to speak to him. I was afraid one look into his eyes would weaken my resolve and I’d end up agreeing to go with him. I couldn’t risk that. After a while it got quiet and I was sure Brody had left, but when I opened the door he was perched on the edge of the bed with elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He looked up and for a brief moment I considered what he was asking me to do. I walked to my dresser and instead of pulling out one of Brody’s shirts, I took out my lime green sleep shorts and matching tank top. I got dressed, aware that Brody’s eyes never left my body, and left the room. I sat on the sofa and tucked my feet under my butt. It wasn’t long before I heard Brody’s feet echo down the hallway and when he joined me I still couldn’t look at him. It was all too much. He’d made his choice without me, assuming that I’d pack up my life and go after him. He was one of few people who understood why my independence was important to me and now it felt like he was one of the first to take it away. The worst part was I still had to tell him about the baby, only I worried that if he knew, he’d stay out of obligation. How could I have kept him here if he was so desperate to leave?
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Brody spoke softly and I knew he meant to comfort me, sooth me, but all I felt was cold. My greatest fear had always been losing him, but now it was losing myself.
“You’re going to ask me to make a choice,” I said. My voice trembled. “And I won’t pick you. Chicago is your dream, not mine, and I would never ask you to give up that dream for me. But you’re asking me to give up my d-dream,” I took a breath and calmed my emotions as best as I could, “ and I c-can’t d-do that.”
“What can I do to change your mind? What can I say to get you to come with me?”
I looked down, noting how my tears dropped into my hands, and replied, “You can’t.” When I looked back up his expression was unreadable and I wished mine were too. I was a mess and Brody looked too composed, too put together.
“So what now?” he asked. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into his lap and hold him, feel his heart beat steady against my palm. The feeling that it was all slipping away hung heavy in the air.
“I don’t know,” I replied softly. I got up and stood between Brody’s legs, drinking him in one last time. I cupped his face with my hands and bent down to kiss him for what felt like the last time.
His lips were warm and slightly rough, the perfect opposite to my soft and salty.
“I love you,” I whispered. “Always.”
I walked away then, leaving him there alone, and when I woke up a few hours later, he was gone. He’d packed a bag and left, without saying goodbye. I rested my hand over my non-existent bump and cried. “Looks like it’s just you and me now kid.”
The early morning sun seeped through my half-open curtains and warmed my cheeks. I felt movement next to my bed, and the sounds of little whimpers. I rolled over, and cracked an eye open, peering down. Two chocolate brown eyes and a wet nose greeted me.
“G’morning Coco,” I greeted. I stretched and wrapped my hands around my puppy’s little brown body, lifting her onto the bed. Her tail wagged furiously, and her tongue licked my face, returning my hello with one of her own.
“Are you hungry?” I cooed, giggling from her sweet, wet kisses. This was our morning ritual, and it always made me smile. I slipped a pair of thin sleep shorts on over my panties, and padded down the hallway to my kitchen, my brown Labrador hot on my heels. I took her outside to do her business and as soon as I placed her bowl of puppy food on the hardwood floor, Coco started yapping excitedly. I rubbed her ears before putting a fresh K-cup in my Keurig and noted that the clock on the wall read nine a.m. I had an hour before I had to be at Huntley and Grayson’s house for Saturday lunch. Another weekly ritual I’d become fond of in the last few months. As I sat down on the deck overlooking my small, neatly kept garden, my body sighed in appreciation for the beautiful morning sunshine, clean air and rich aroma of my coffee. For the first time in what seemed like forever, I felt better, and a little more like myself. It’s been a year, and not a day passed when I didn’t think about Brody, and what I’d lost, but instead of the crippling pain I usually I felt when I thought about him, it became a dull ache that I was able to cover with temporary band aids. After I graduated, I got a job as a second grade elementary school teacher at Breckinridge elementary. My parents bought me a small, but spacious, cottage-style house as a graduation present, and as always, they thought it made up for the absence throughout most of my life. I wasn’t prepared to turn it down, no matter how angry I was that they were once again absent for one of the biggest days of my life. Brody and I lived in the apartment I used to share with Huntley, after she moved in with Grayson, and once I graduated I moved into my house. For the most part we were happy, until Brody made a choice that changed everything for us.
Begin Again (Beautiful #2) Page 1
