“HELLO?” JEFF’S VOICE came through the phone and I’d never been so relieved to hear it. Jeff Carter was Grayson’s older brother by two years, but he was also one of my childhood friends. He’d known I was coming but a small part of me had hoped I wouldn’t need to call him.
“Jeff? It’s Demi.” I swallowed audibly and tried to control my emotions long enough to stop the waterworks.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his tone thick with concern, “why does it sound like you’re crying?”
I ignored his rapid-fire questions and skipped to why I’d called him in my time of need. “Are you at home?”
“Yes. What happened, Demi?”
I sighed, struggling to put a coherent sentence together between my hiccups and my constant blubbering. My voice was hoarse and my throat raw. “Can I come see you? P-please? I don’t want to be alone right n-now.” It sounded like a desperate plea and I didn’t care. I needed someone. Anyone.
“Of course,” he replied. “Where are you?”
“I’m leaving Brody’s apartment now. What’s your address?”
Jeff gave me his address and I recited it to the cab driver.
“I’ll be waiting for you outside,” Jeff said.
“Thank you.”
It didn’t take us long to stop outside Jeff’s apartment building and true to his word, he was waiting for me outside. I paid the cab driver and as soon as I was free of the cab, I launched myself into Jeff’s body. I cried into his chest and instead of complaining, Jeff simply rubbed up and down my back and hushed me until I was calmer. He picked my bag up from where I’d dropped it and tucked me into his side before taking me upstairs.
“I’m s-sorry,” I stuttered, wiping my face. “I didn’t m-mean to just s-show up like t-this.”
Jeff sat me down on his sofa and looked at me with concern in his eyes. “I knew you were in the city this weekend,” he replied softly. “Grayson called. Said you’d probably call me if something went wrong with Brody.”
“Oh God,” I groaned between sniffles. “You must think I’m a pathetic woman. I didn’t have anyone else - ”
“I’m glad you came to me,” Jeff said, cutting me off, “And no, I don’t think you’re pathetic at all. Can I get you anything before we talk about what happened at Brody’s?”
“Water would be nice, thank you. And some headache pills if you have.”
Jeff nodded and disappeared into his kitchen. I hardly noticed anything around me except the view he had of the city. It was dark and the city lights lit up the breathtaking horizon, showing off Lake Michigan in the distance. The sofa dipped next to me and I turned to take the glass of cold water out of Jeff’s hands. I swallowed the pills he gave me and hoped that the throb in my temples would subside sooner rather than later.
“You ready to tell me what happened?”
I looked into Jeff’s eyes and found what I had been sorely lacking since the day Brody left. Safety. I trusted Jeff, more than I trusted anyone at that time, and when I was sure I could handle reliving the last few weeks, I told him everything. That had been the start of something new, and something that had meant more to me than I thought possible after what I’d endured in just eight long, painful weeks.
I took a seat in the crowded waiting area at O’Hare airport in Chicago and waited patiently for them to call our flight. I was heading home to Breckinridge, Alabama for my best friend Grayson’s wedding. It was only a week away but they had a number of smaller events planned preceding the big day. It had been a year since I left and sometimes it was difficult to comprehend how much had happened in the short time I had been gone. Sienna took a seat next to me and handed me a cup of coffee before curling into my side. I once again acknowledged, rather bitterly, that having her next to me felt wrong but I allowed it because it filled a hole. A hole I’d been living with for the past twelve months and a hole that would become far more obvious the minute I arrived back in my hometown. I’d achieved everything I’d hoped to when I arrived in Chicago last year, and while most people would dream of my kind of success, I hated the man it made me. Sienna squeezed my hand and again it felt wrong. I looked into her brown eyes and like many times before, compared their color to the explosive green ones I’d spent my entire life in love with.
“You okay, baby?” she asked, giving me a smile. Her long blonde hair was tied up in a pony tale high on her head and I found myself wishing it would somehow magically change to the fiery red color that fueled my demons and haunted my dreams. I got myself into quite the situation as far as Sienna was concerned. She was my boss’s daughter and somehow she found her way to my bed. Admittedly, it was only six months ago, and while I’d spent the majority of our semi-relationship being riddled with all-consuming guilt, she temporarily soothed the loneliness that threatened to drown me. I got hopelessly drunk one night and after she took pity on me, I spilled my guts and told her how I had lost the love of my life. It hurt to think about Demetria and how broken we’d left things, which is why having someone like Sienna was so…convenient.
“Yeah,” I replied. “Just anxious to get home and see everyone.” And Demi. Part of me wondered if bringing Sienna with me was a good idea but at the same time I didn’t want to attend Grayson and Huntley’s wedding alone. Jeff would be Demi’s date but I was still worried that she’d moved on and if I had to be subjected to seeing her with someone else then I at least I wouldn’t have to be alone. Sienna curled deeper into my side but it felt wrong to wrap my arms around her so I didn’t. Instead, I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed Grayson’s number. He answered on the second ring.
“Hey bro,” he greeted happily. “What’s up?”
“Nothin’ much, just waiting to board the plane and get my ass home,” I replied.
“Yeah man, we’re looking forward to seeing you. Hunter keeps asking when his uncle Brody is going to be here, it’s driving me crazy.”
I chuckled, smiling at the thought of my Godson.
“I can’t wait to see the Lil’ man either.”
Grayson clears his throat and the other end of the line filled up with a somewhat awkward silence before he spoke again. “Is Sienna with you?” he asked hesitantly. The tone of his voice did little to cover his concern.
“Yeah, why?”
“Listen man,” he began. “I’ve booked you into a hotel for the week. You know we’re doing renovations to the ranch, so you can’t stay there. I made reservations under your name until you leave on Sunday.”
“I thought we were staying with you and Huntley?”
He sighed heavily. “That was the plan, but Huntley…” he hesitated.
“Huntley what?”
Grayson muttered ‘shit’ on the other end and I was pretty sure he was brushing his hands through his hair. I’d seen him do it a thousand times. “Huntley doesn’t want you staying here with another woman,” he said. “I guess she’s still pissed about everything and she doesn’t want any drama before the wedding.”
I responded with a sigh of my own and had difficulty suppressing my anger. Huntley was fiercely protective of Demetria and I granted her that but I was tired of being made to feel like the villain. I was also hurt. Hell, I was still hurting. I’d just learned to live with it.
“Alright Gray,” I said, giving in. “Send me the check-in info and I’ll stop by at your place once we’ve arrived.”
“I’m sorry,” he replied. “I tried reasoning with her but fuck, she’s stubborn and I didn’t want to fight with her over this shit so close to the wedding. She’s been stressed enough as it is.”
“Don’t worry about it. I understand. I know you guys were caught between a rock and a hard place when all that shit went down with Demi and me. I get it.”
Sienna looked up at me, a frown between her eyes. She watched me carefully while I spoke to Grayson. “Thanks for being cool about it and again, I’m sorry you have to crash in a hotel. You can stop by for a drink once you’re settled, I’ll be waiting.” The fact that he didn�
��t invite Sienna to their house didn’t go unnoticed but I understood and chose not to make an issue of it.
“Yeah bro, I’ll see you later.”
Grayson said his goodbye and I ended the call before slipping my phone back into my pocket.
“What was that about?” Sienna asked, staring at me.
“Nothing,” I lied easily, avoiding her gaze. “We’re staying at a hotel. Grayson will send me the check-in info when we land and then I’ll go and say hi, maybe have a drink with him.” I didn’t bother asking Sienna if she was okay with this plan because I didn’t care. As far as I was concerned, having her here was a means to an end, a place-filler. Nothing more. She stayed quiet and went back to reading her magazine while I tried my hardest not to think about how hard the week ahead was going to be.
After arguing with Sienna, I left her at the hotel and took a cab to Grayson and Huntley’s house. My truck was parked in their garage so I’d just use it to get around this week. The cab came to a stop and I paid the driver quickly before making my way to the front door. Before I could knock, the door flung open and Hunter launched himself into my legs. Grayson stood there smiling.
“Bwody!” Hunter squealed, squeezing my legs.
“Hey Lil’ man,” I replied, picking him up. He’d grown so much since I last saw him and it was hard to believe he was already two years old.
“Hey man.” I greeted Grayson with a fist bump and walked through the house. Grayson followed me out onto their outside deck and grabbed us each a beer. I took a seat with Hunter in my lap and Grayson followed suit on the opposite side of the table.
“It’s good to see you man,” Grayson said. He took a pull of his beer but kept his eyes trained on me. I knew that look. He was trying to read me, see how I was doing since the last time he saw me. He had nothing to worry about but I didn’t say it.
“Yeah, you too. You ready to be a married man?”
He chuckled and grinned widely. “I was ready the day Hunter was born, but Huntley wanted to wait until she graduated, so I told her we’d do it soon after.”
“Speaking of Huntley,” I said, taking a pull of my beer. “Where is the bride-to-be? I was hoping to see her.”
Grayson looked down and shifted uncomfortably. That only meant one thing. I wasn’t going to like his answer.
“She’s with - ”
“Demi,” I said, finishing his sentence.
“Yeah,” he replied. “Something about a girls night.”
“Or she’s avoiding me,” I said.
Grayson sighed and pulled his hands through his hair, a clear sign of both frustration and resignation. I felt bad for the guy. He was caught between his fiancé and his best friend, albeit unintentionally.
“Huntley cares about you,” he began. He finished off his beer and put the bottle down before sitting back into the chair. “And I don’t think you should take her behavior personally. She’s just trying to make sure Demi is going to be okay being around you again after everything that happened.”
“Like you’re doing with me,” I stated.
His smile was crooked when he replied, “Exactly.”
My chest tightened thinking about Demetria, and how much she must’ve been hurting for Huntley to feel the need to side with her. A mixture of guilt, anger and self-justification swirled in my chest. Next to my grandparents, Demetria was also my only family and I was never able to imagine a life without her. But then I made a choice and ended up leaving her behind. I destroyed her, and in the process tainted everything that we had. It was something I regretted every day and being back home with the possibility of seeing her made me nervous. I’d been thinking about it for days and I couldn’t decide if she’d be willing to let me fight for her.
“The ranch is looking good,” Grayson remarked, breaking into my thoughts.
“I’m anxious to see how much progress they’ve made with the building,” I replied. Grayson and his brother, Jeff, each bought a third of the ranch I inherited after my twenty-second birthday, and they’d agreed to help me fix it up. My grandparents still lived in the old farmhouse I’d grown up in and as soon as the new house was done, they would move in. I hadn’t decided what I wanted to do with it yet, but we’d agreed it would always stay in the family. Hunter dropped off my lap and ran around to where Grayson was sitting. Grayson picked him up and he settled against his chest. Seeing Grayson with his son made the ache in my chest a little more real. I wasn’t jealous of Grayson, but I wanted what he had - an amazing woman to come home to every night and children who made up the most perfect parts of us. I wanted that with Demetria, I always had. I always would. But in the same breath, I worried that it would never happen for us and I blamed myself. I’d walked away.
“I’d better get going,” I said. “Looks like you need to put the little monster to bed.”
Grayson smiled and looked down at Hunter. He’d dozed off at some point.
“I’ll wait for Huntley to get home,” he replied. “She should be back any minute.”
Just then the sound of a lock echoed and boots clicked on the hardwood floors. I looked up just as Huntley appeared at the door, and stood to greet her. Her smile was warm as she approached me, but I could see indecision swirling in her eyes. Could I blame her for being cautious with me? I’d broken her best friends’ heart and I probably would’ve felt the same if I were in her shoes.
“Hey Brody.” She hugged me and I was once again reminded of her grace. I wasn’t her favorite person, I hadn’t been for a while now, but she still treated me as if I were a friend. I returned her hug, replying, “It’s good to see you again.”
When she pulled away, Grayson appeared at her side and bent his head to kiss her. I looked away, feeling somewhat uncomfortable with their display of affection. It was a painful reminder of what I’d had and recklessly thrown away for something that no longer meant anything to me. I cleared my throat, and their heads whipped up as if remembering that they weren’t actually alone.
“I’m going to take off,” I said. “But I’ll see you again tomorrow.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Huntley said. I nodded, bumped fists with Grayson while he cradled a sleeping Hunter, and made my way out their home. I was dying to know how Demi was doing but I was almost sure I’d forfeited that right. In the end, my need to know outweighed everything else. I turned to face Huntley, and found her regarding me. It was both a knowing and probing gaze.
“How is she?” I asked, letting it slip out before I lost my nerve. Huntley’s eyes pinned me and her lips thinned into a straight line. She was wondering whether or not to tell me and I hoped to God she took enough pity on me to tell me what I wanted to know.
“I honestly don’t know,” she replied quietly, taking two steps closer to me. Her eyes lowered for a minute, and when she brought them back to me I could tell she wasn’t lying. “Some days it’s hard to tell, really. She does a pretty good job of hidin’ things. Too bad I know her better than that.”
I brushed my hands through my hair, and my chest deflated with a heavy sigh. I could read between the lines.
“That bad, huh?”
“Why do you suddenly care?” Huntley asked, anger lacing her usually sweet voice. I was caught a little off-guard by the strength of her tone.
“I’ve always cared,” I replied quietly, silently pleading that Huntley will believe me.
“You have a really funny way of showing it, Brody. You left without a word, and she had to deal with…” Huntley clamped a hand over her mouth quickly before finishing her sentence. Something in the way she said that didn’t sit well with me. Not at all.
“Deal with what?”
Huntley remained quiet, and I watched her eyes glimmer with unshed tears. “Deal with what?” I asked again, my tone harder and more persistent than before. I stepped closer and Huntley’s hand shot up to stop me.
Begin Again (Beautiful #2) Page 3
