I watched Demi’s eyes glisten and kissed away the single tear that spilled over her rosy cheek.
“I didn’t think I could love you more,” she whispered. “You are my heart, my soul, my present and my future. Everything I have ever done, every decision I have ever made has led me here, to you. I love you, Brody, so much.”
I kissed her gently and murmured, “I love you too, Demetria Rosemead, more than anything.”
“Show me,” she said.
And I did…
“Brody?”
I shook the memory and looked up. Demi was standing next to me, holding both our plates. “Are you okay?” she asked. I was surprised to see the genuine concern on her face.
“Yes, sorry,” I cleared my throat, “I just have a lot on my mind.”
Demi nodded and handed me my food. I took a sniff and hummed. “You were always good at making pizza’s.”
“It’s your lucky night,” she laughed lightly, “it’s your favorite. Ground beef and green peppers with steak sauce and Mozzarella cheese.”
We exchanged a look, words escaping me, and took a walk outside onto the deck. Demi sat down on one of the lounge chairs, on the left like she used to, and I sat on the right.
“It’s a nice night,” Demi said before taking a bite of a pizza slice. I looked up and the sight was exquisite. Thousands and thousand of stars littered the sky and it was the second most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. The first was the day I met Demi. She was wearing a pink and blue polka dot dress and I remember thinking she was the prettiest girl on the playground. The moment she threw that mud pie in my face was the moment I knew she was the one I’d be spending the rest of my life with. How had we lost that? How had I drifted so far away from that that the woman sitting next to me felt like a stranger? I’d made so many mistakes in my life, but Demetria was the one thing I got right and I fucked it up royally. All for a job I now hated and I life I thought I wanted.
“Are you happy?” I blurted out. When Demi’s head whipped around I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.
“Why would you ask me that?”
I put my plate down and turned in my seat to face her. “Because I want to know. I still care about you, Demetria.” My voice came out harder than I intended.
“Why, Brody? So you can gloat about how amazing your life is without me? So you can remind me one more time that you’re happy with Sienna? Because if you’re trying to hurt me it won’t work.” She stood up and stormed inside. I rubbed my face and shook my head. “What the fuck am I trying to do?” I asked no one. The quiet of the night greeted me and I decided it was probably better for me to leave. I picked up our plates and made my way back inside. I found Demi in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with her back to me.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” I said. I placed our dishes in the sink and turned to face her.
She snorted, spinning around. “I guess you never meant to leave either.”
“Demetria, I – “
“No,” she cut me off, “I don’t want to hear your excuse.”
“Then let me apologize.” It was a plea, a desperate one. I needed her to hear me out and let me try and fix what I’d broken.
“You’re a year too late.” Her voice cracked and in her eyes I got a small glimpse of what I had done to her. It was enough to make me want to take it all back. But I couldn’t, and now I had to consider the possibility that the little girl I’d fallen in love with all those years ago no longer loved me. It was a possibility I wasn’t prepared for and never would be.
“We have to talk about this,” I said, trying one last time.
Demi shook her head, her eyes red and puffy. “You’ve had countless chances to talk to me and I grew tired of waiting.”
“What does that mean?”
She walked closer and I took a moment to really look at her. She was thinner and she had bags under her eyes. She looked tired. She looked broken. “It means I picked up the pieces you left behind and moved on with my life. I stopped waiting for you, Brody.”
My breath faltered as if someone had knocked the wind out of my lungs.
“You’re with Jeff, aren’t you?”
“You lost the right to ask me that.”
“Answer the question, Demetria.”
“No, okay? I’m not with Jeff, but I wish I was because he’s an amazing man.” She sniffed and I clenched my fists to stop myself from grabbing her and comforting her.
“So what’s the problem? If he’s so perfect then why aren’t you with him?” I half-yelled.
“Oh my God,” Demi cried. She wiped her face and took a breath. “I’m not with him because my heart is taken! How can I love him when my heart will always be yours?”
We stood there staring at each other, and I tried speaking but Demi beat me to it. “There, you got what you came for right? Now I think you should leave. Please.”
I swallowed hard. I had to respect her wishes. I wasn’t prepared to do any more damage than I already had and judging by the look on Demi’s face, it was too late. I’d fucked up again.
“Okay,” I whispered. I took a risk and leaned in to kiss Demi’s forehead. She didn’t move or push me away. I murmured, “I’m sorry,” against her forehead and saw myself out. When I climbed into my truck and hit the steering wheel until my hands hurt like hell, I realized that Demi thought I loved Sienna. She was very, very wrong.
“Can I get you a drink?” Jeff asked, yelling above the loud music. We were at Nicky’s Bar for a combined bachelor and bachelorette party for Huntley and Grayson. We’d spent countless nights partying it up here during college and it reminded me of a simpler time. The interior décor and the long bar that lined two of the walls hadn’t changed at all. It still smelled like beer and stale peanuts and I found I didn’t mind it so much. It was proof that not everything had to change.
I wasn’t really in the mood to be out but what kind of Maid of Honor bails on her best friends bachelorette party? She could tell something was wrong but I’d been dodging her questions since we arrived and at some point decided to suck it up. I’d had a sleepless night the night before and I’d replayed my conversation with Brody in my head all night, which was the reason for my less than enthusiastic mood.
“Can I have a Southern Comfort and lime, please?”
Jeff’s eyebrows shot up and he looked surprised. “You sure?”
Irritation flared and I bit back the compulsion to ask him if he was my mother. “I’m sure,” I replied, trying not to sound like a brat. He turned around and I watched him disappear into the thick crowd as he headed towards the bar. It wasn’t his fault I wasn’t good company. I looked around at all the college kids drinking and having fun like they had no cares in the world and when my gaze fell on the doors, the reason for my crap-tastic disposition walked in. Brody’s sandy blonde hair looked stylishly tousled and his dark jeans clutched every part of his upper thighs, showing off the impressive package between his legs. He wore a navy blue button down shirt that he’d rolled up to expose his chorded forearms. If it weren’t for the blonde woman next to him that had just about surgically attached herself to his side, I would’ve salivated at the sight of him.
My traitorous heart skipped a beat, despite our heated conversation last night. My eyes fell to the blonde next to him and in the dim lighting of the bar, I was sure I saw her smirk at me. She was very much a cliché with her salon dyed hair, obvious fake tits and bottle-tanned legs that went on for miles. The thought of Brody being with her baffled me, but then again, I was starting to understand that he was no longer the man I knew him to be.
He headed towards our table just as Jeff got back with our drinks and I wasted no time in grabbing the whiskey tumbler from his hands and downing my drink. The mixture of the lime and bourbon flowed down my throat and warmed my body, making the tension in my muscles ease.
“Whoa,” Jeff admonished, “easy there tiger.”
I smiled. “I was thirsty.”
Hunt
ley and Grayson rejoined our table and an awkward silence descended on the table. I could feel the tension between Brody and Jeff but for once in my life I didn’t want to worry about it. I wanted to let go of it all. I wanted to dance. I ignored Brody and Sienna and looked at Huntley. “Wanna dance?”
She looked between Brody and I and then nodded, following behind me. We made our way into the middle of the dance floor and Florida Georgia Line’s song ‘Cruise’ started playing through the speakers. The crowd shouted in excitement and soon everyone started singing along. I forgot about everything on my mind and focused on how good the beat of the music made me feel.
“I’m going to find Grayson,” Huntley said into my ear. The song changed to something more upbeat and I decided it was time to hit the bar. I followed Huntley back to our table and flagged down a waitress. She brought me another Southern Comfort and lime, only this time I sipped it like a normal human being. Sienna whispered something Brody’s ear, and he frowned before following her to the dance floor. She turned her head and looked at me over her shoulder, an obscene sneer on her face. Bitch. I barely knew the woman but the look on her face was enough for me to keep my distance. I knew she was toying with me. I was just too stubborn to ignore the bait.
“You wanna dance?” I asked Jeff.
“Lead the way.” He smiled and in another life it may have made me swoon. However, tonight was not the night to think about what ‘could be’. It was about letting my hair down and having fun. I was determined to enjoy my night.
I slipped my hand into Jeff’s and we walked through the dense bar to the dance floor. Jeff’s arm came around my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“You look stunning tonight,” he complimented. It was genuine. Jeff was incapable of saying something like that with an agenda. He meant it. I was wearing a tight black dress that stopped mid thigh and dipped low to reveal my back. It clung to my breasts, exposing my cleavage, and showed off my curvy hips. I’d straightened my hair and let it hang down to the center of my spine.
“You look pretty sharp yourself, Stud.”
He laughed and I enjoyed the rich sound. He did in fact look delicious in his dark jeans and black button down shirt. He was taller than most of the other guys here and to anyone who didn’t know him, he would’ve looked intimidating. But I knew him and beneath that tough exterior was the heart of a man who deserved more than I could give. I touched the bruise on Jeff’s face and he winced. “Does it hurt?” I asked, sincerely concerned. Jeff looked a little rough after Brody had punched him but he’d refused to let me come here alone.
“Not so bad,” he replied.
“I’m sorry Brody hit you,” I said, looking up into Jeff’s green eyes.
His hand left my waist and he brushed my lips with his thumb. I held my breath and our gazes locked. “Don’t apologize,” his voice was husky, “if I’d had someone like you, and seen you with another man, I would’ve done the same thing. He still cares about you. I don’t blame him.”
I opened my mouth to say something but then snapped it shut again. I had no response to what he’d said and there was no way I was about to tell him I still cared about Brody too. I felt bad enough already, knowing that I couldn’t return Jeff’s feelings, no matter how badly I’d wished I could. A new, slower song started playing and I looked around the dance floor, my eyes fell on Brody and Sienna, dancing a few feet away from us. Their bodies were pressed up against each other and her height brought them almost nose-to-nose. She pressed her lips to his and I felt sick. I hated seeing them together but what right did I have to feel jealous? I had no claim to Brody and yet I felt fiercely possessive of him. Then there was the fact that I was ogling him while dancing with another man. God, what was wrong with me?
Jeff cleared his throat and I realized we’d stopped dancing. I looked up and found him regarding me. Guilt reared its head and the only way I could think of squashing it was to get another drink. Jeff and I made our way back to the table without exchanging a word or a glance and found Huntley and Grayson talking quietly between themselves. They looked so in love and if I hadn’t adored them so much it would’ve been sickening to watch. Instead, I looked at them wistfully and wished that I had what they did.
A waitress stopped by and I ordered another drink, feeling the need to let go surfacing. I didn’t want to think about anything tonight. I just wanted to let go for one night and forget that I was a complete mess inside. I found Brody and Sienna again, only this time Brody was watching me. His gaze was hot and determined and it angered me. The music had changed to a heavy RnB song and Sienna had made the most of the opportunity to bump and grind up against Brody, touching him in ways that could be considered public indecency. She obviously didn’t notice him fucking me with his eyes.
I slammed another drink back, squeezing my eyes shut when my head started swimming. I’d started to go numb, my mind going blank. The glass the hit the table and everyone jumped, staring at me. I didn’t care. Not right then anyway. Mission accomplished, I thought. I sent Brody a polite “fuck you” with my eyes, a message only he would be able to see, and spun on my heel before making way through the crowd to get to the bathroom. I waited in line and a few minutes later, someone grabbed my arm. “What the - “
My words disappeared when I looked up and saw that it was Brody who’d grabbed my arm. He started dragging me further down the hall, past the men’s bathroom and towards the storeroom. “What are you doing?” I asked, trying to pry my arm free. His grip was too strong and the alcohol I had consumed had made my ability to fight him weaken. He opened the door to the storeroom and dragged me behind him before shutting the door.
“Brody, what - ” His lips crashed into mine before I could finish my sentence. They were hot and wet and so familiar. I pulled away, shaking my head. Those lips had been kissing another woman only minutes before and now he was kissing me? Yeah, I don’t think – all coherent thought left my brain when Brody lifted me up and pushed my tight, black dress past my hips. He held my thighs and pressed his erection between my legs. He hadn’t said a single word since he’s dragged me into the smelly storeroom and while the lighting was bad, I could see his intentions written on his face. I’d lost my self-restraint about one minute ago and when he ground his erection against my wet thong a second time, I surrendered. Our lips collided in a heated, passionate kiss and his hands moved up while mine pushed through his hair. There was no other sound aside from our heavy breathing and it had a heady affect on me. My blood boiled and I was so turned on it was painful. I heard the rip of my underwear, the pull of a zipper and the tearing of a condom wrapper. Brody lifted me higher and started sucking on my neck as he pushed his hard cock into me. I bit my lip to stop from screaming out and gasped audibly when he was buried inside me to the hilt. It had been a year since I’d last had sex and while it took me a moment to adjust to Brody’s size, I reveled in the way he filled me up, the way we fitted each other so perfectly you’d think we were made for each other.
Brody sighed, and bit my neck as his hips started moving. I held on tighter and he started pumping into me until the sound of skin slapping on skin filled the room. It wasn’t making love. It was fucking. Hot, uninhibited, forget-your-own-name fucking. It had been so long since we’d been like this but before I could overanalyze it, my orgasm attacked without warning. Brody kissed me, suppressing my scream and pushed into me hard and fast while he chased his own orgasm. When he grunted and shook in my arms, my head collapsed on his shoulders. My chest heaved and I fought to catch my breath. Brody’s head came up and he looked at me, not saying anything. My post-orgasm bliss was cut short when an uneasy feeling settled over me. Brody lowered me to the floor, still remaining silent, and I righted my dress. He pulled off the condom, rolled it up in some toilet paper from one of the shelves, and tucked it into his pocket. He leaned in close and instead of kissing me on the lips he pressed a kiss to my forehead. I swear I heard him murmur “I’ll always be yours” but I couldn’t be sure beca
use just as quickly as he’d fucked me into oblivion, he’d left and shut the door, leaving me alone. What the hell had just happened and why had I done that? I didn’t just fuck people in storerooms. But then again, it wasn’t just a person. It was Brody. I swallowed the bile rising in my throat and realized that I’d behaved like a total whore. Even worse, Brody had treated me that way, like I was a meaningless screw, while he was with someone else. Oh God, what have I done? I needed to get away. Now.
I opened the storeroom door and checked the hallway before making a hasty exit. I couldn’t see Body, so I snuck out and walked into the ladies bathroom to clean myself up. When I caught sight of myself in the mirror, I was embarrassed. My hair was a mess, my eyes glassy and my cheeks red. That’s when I started to feel sick for the second time in one night and it had nothing to do with the alcohol. It was caused by the hard reality that Brody had just screwed me in the storeroom like a dirty little secret. Somehow he’d managed to cheapen it and made me feel like trash. My eyes welled up and I wanted nothing more than to go home and take hot shower to wash Brody off of my skin. I cupped my mouth, choking back the urge to sob. I was being ridiculous and once again it proved that I was indeed a mess. The bathroom door opened and I was relieved to see Huntley walk in, concern written all over her angelic features. She looked stunning in her red wrap dress, her hair tied up with a few loose curls hanging free. Her blue eyes were darkened with worry and her mouth was set in a hard line.
“Demi, what’s wrong?” she asked, taking a step closer.
“I – I – I don’t know what just happened. I’m such an idiot. I don’t know how it happened.”
Her brows furrowed in confusion. “How what happened?”
“Brody, he just…we just… I didn’t mean to but it just happened.” I started crying harder and Huntley wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “You have to tell me what’s wrong, Demi, so I can help you.” She couldn’t help me. I had to help myself.
Begin Again (Beautiful #2) Page 8
