Huntley was half way out the door when she stopped and turned to face me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine,” I lied. “Promise.”
She disappeared out the door and I heard the front door shut a few minutes later. I sagged against my headboard and I knew I was holding on by a thread. It was all too much to deal with at once. I threw the covers off and padded my way across my soft plush carpet into the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror and chocked back a sob when I didn’t recognize the woman staring back at me. It had been a while since I’d felt like that and it all started when Brody showed up.
I turned my shower on and waited for the water to reach scalding hot before stepping in. The hot water soothed my aching muscles but my heart still hung heavy in my chest. I was a mess and I’d only made it worse for myself by allowing Brody to fuck me like a whore in a storeroom of a bar. “Oh God,” I cried out, finally letting the dam break. I slid down the wet tiles and hugged my legs, resting my forehead on my knees. Guilt had made itself at home in my blood and pumped through my veins. Huntley and Grayson were expecting their second baby and I couldn’t even muster enough selflessness to be completely happy for them. I wanted so badly to be excited for them. But I wasn’t and I’d openly lied to my best friend about how her news really made me feel. I felt cheated, because I had so much taken from me. I felt guilty because I would have never begrudged Huntley and Grayson their happiness. I felt broken because everything had fallen apart all over again in a matter of days. I felt alone because I’d lost everything that I’d dreamed of having. Including myself. I had no idea where to go from here. Except, I had no choice but to move forward and get through it, just like I did before. This was what life was about wasn’t it? Rising above adversity and beating the odds. I’d done it once, so I could do it again. Couldn’t I?
My body shook with every sob and I cried until there was nothing left. When it was all over I wasn’t sure if I had it in me to pull myself out of this hole. Until I remembered the last words Brody had whispered to me after he’d put me to bed last night.
“I love you. Always.”
I sipped my whiskey and closed my eyes to savor the burn as it traveled down my throat. I was brooding, replaying the night before in my mind over and over again until I’d convinced myself it really happened. My night had not ended well and the darkness I felt lurking inside me hadn’t left. Sienna was angry as all hell when I arrived back at the hotel, but I’d ignored her and decided I’d rather sit in the bar until dawn than deal with her hissy fit.
“Hey man.” Grayson greeted me and took a seat at my side. We were sitting inside Aunt Emma’s bakery, which had been elegantly decorated for Huntley and Grayson’s rehearsal dinner. The lighting was dimmed and waiters walked around offering appetizers until the main course was ready to be served. It was a small space, but with the open windows that overlooked the street and the romantic decor and lighting, it was perfect and so Huntley and Grayson.
“Hey,” I replied, looking into the bottom of my whiskey tumbler. If I looked at Grayson he’d just ask too many questions and I was in no frame of mind to answer them. I was still trying to put it all in perspective and it wasn’t going well.
“What happened to your hand?” Grayson asked, eyeing the bandage.
“Got hurt,” I replied. “It’s nothing.” I wasn’t about to tell him that I’d punched my trucks’ window in or why. The thought crossed my mind that Grayson might’ve known about Demi’s pregnancy, but I didn’t think he’d keep something like that from me. Grayson started saying something but it fell on deaf ears as the object of my wayward thoughts walked in through the door. Demi was wearing a one-sleeved emerald cocktail dress that looked stunning against her creamy skin. She wore her favorite black peep toe wedge heels and they made her legs go on for miles. Her beautiful red hair was pinned to one side, luscious curls hanging over her shoulder and covering her breast. She was every single one of my wet dreams come to life and seeing her felt like a stab to the lungs – excruciatingly painful.
“What’s up with you tonight?” Grayson asked.
“Nothing,” I grumbled, my eyes never leaving Demi. Grayson followed my gaze. “Man, you two need to stop dancing around each other and get your shit together,” he said quietly. I could hear the exasperation in his voice.
“It’s not that simple,” I replied.
“Because of Sienna?” No. Because the woman I’m in love with, and have always been in love with, is pregnant with your brother’s child. The words got caught in my throat so I just shook my head in response. As devastated as I was, I couldn’t tell Grayson anything. I had no idea if anyone else knew but it wasn’t my news to share. But it could’ve been, my inner voice taunted truthfully.
“It just is,” I said quietly. I watched as Demi greeted Huntley and her family, and then moved on to Grayson’s family. I froze when she hugged Jeff, searching for any sign that he knew, but came up empty when their embrace was a little too cold for a couple who was expecting. Unless he had no idea.
I groaned, feeling more and more infuriated with the mess I’d found myself in.
“Look, I’m here if you need to talk,” Grayson said, patting my back. “I hate seeing you like this.”
Shame filled my body and it took a lot not to hang my head. My best friend was celebrating his upcoming wedding and I was acting like a complete jerk. This wasn’t about me and yet I was making about me.
“I’m sorry, Gray. It’s been a rough few days. I’ll pull my head out of my ass long enough to celebrate with you tonight.”
He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I know, Brody. We’ve had more drama in three days than on a soap opera. It’s ridiculous,” he paused, “which is why I need to ask you something.” He looked up and grinned like the lovesick fool he was when he found Huntley dancing in the middle of the room with Hunter on her hip. She too looked stunning, and I couldn’t have chosen a better person for Grayson to share his life with.
“Shoot.”
He hesitated for a second and looked up at me. “Why are you with Sienna?”
His question didn’t surprise me, but I decided that of all the people in my life, he deserved the truth, especially since I’d been behaving like a total douchebag.
“Honestly? I don’t know. In the beginning it was a way for me to get my mind off things. I tried to keep it casual, but the next thing I knew I was being dragged to dinners with Sienna’s father. I should’ve known getting into bed with my boss’s daughter was the worst idea ever.”
“It’s none of my business, but she’s not the right woman for you.”
“Oh yeah? Then who is?” I asked somewhat playfully. He turned his head and motioned towards Demi. She was dancing with Jeff on the makeshift dance floor and when she threw her head back in laughter, a sickening knot formed in my stomach from knowing that I should have been the one holding her, making her laugh.
“Things are a mess between you two,” Grayson added, his tone sad, “but I think you need to talk. There are a lot of things that were left unsaid after you were gone and Demi went through a really rough time - ”
“What do you mean?” I interrupted, “I thought she got over it?”
Grayson frowned and he almost looked angry. “Who told you that?”
I shrugged. “I just sort of assumed, since I hadn’t heard from her again.”
“You have it all wrong, man, and I’m so tempted to tell you everything but I can’t. I won’t get in the middle of this again. I will, however, say this, if you truly believe you and Demi can’t fix this mess you’ve made, then get on that plane in two days and don’t look back. Leave her behind. But if you think there’s a chance, no matter how small, that you’d be willing to lay it all out there again, just to be with her, then put all the other bullshit aside and begin again. Start over.”
I thought about the sonogram picture I’d found and the reality of it all hit me harder than a six ton wrecking ball. Even if I wanted to try fix my relatio
nship with Demi, it was obvious she’d moved on. It was a realization that I had to make peace with, no matter how hard or how shattering it was.
“It’s a little more complicated than that. It’s out of my control now, and that’s something I have to deal with.”
“Your choice,” Grayson said, “but for the record, I think you’re making a mistake.”
He stood up and left me alone with my self-deprecating thoughts. I wanted nothing more than to leave but I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, do that to Huntley and Grayson.
I stood up and walked towards the restrooms. I needed to freshen up a little and pull my shit together long enough to get through tonight and tomorrow, then I’d be on a plane out of here and never look back. It was time for me to move on, something I thought I’d already done, but after the past few days I’d realized that all I’d managed to do was bury it all deep enough so that it wouldn’t see the light of day. As I passed the lady’s restroom, I overheard voices. It sounded like Huntley and Demi. I squeezed my eyes shut and told myself to keep walking, but my feet had other ideas. Against my better judgment, I leaned in closer to the door that sat slightly ajar and listened.
Huntley spoke first. “But you have to tell Brody before he leaves. Don’t you think he deserves to know?”
I heard a sniffle and assumed it was Demi. “I’m not ready to tell him yet.”
There was a moment of silence before Huntley replied, “If Jeff knows about the baby, don’t you think you owe it to Brody to tell him too? You can’t keep…” her words disappeared when I heard the words “Jeff’ and “baby”. My ears started ringing and my throat grew dry. So it was true. Demi was expecting Jeff’s baby. Oh fuck, I was going to be sick. Bile slid up my throat and I barely made it to the bathroom before I spewed all the contents in my stomach into the toilet bowl. It was final. I’d lost Demi for good and that wasn’t even the worst part. What killed me, what slaughtered my soul, was knowing that another man was going to get my dream. He was going to have a family with Demi, something I’d dreamed about for most of my grown up life. It was over for me. There was no coming back after this and the only person I could really blame was myself. I rinsed my mouth and washed my face before making my way back out just in time for the speeches to start. I reluctantly took a seat next to Sienna and had to contain my anger when I saw Demi and Huntley walk out shortly after me. Demi sat down next to Jeff and I had the sudden compulsion to fly across the table and beat the shit out of Jeff for taking what was mine. It was irrational and I knew that. Another man can’t take what you think is yours when you so freely gave it up. It was my biggest fucking mistake ever.
Coach Morgan, Huntley’s uncle stood up and the room quieted. We were seated at a long rectangular table and it worked well. The rehearsal dinner was for family and close friends and I suddenly regretted having Sienna with me.
“Good evening everyone,” Coach Morgan started. “Emma and I would like to thank you all for being here tonight, it means a lot to us. Firstly, to my beautiful niece, Huntley, baby girl, your parents would be so proud of you and I know your aunt and I couldn’t be more proud of you than we are right now,” there were a few sniffles from the woman and I looked to where Grayson had his arm wrapped around an emotional Huntley. “We want you to be happy, sweetheart, and we love you like a daughter. Grayson,” Coach Morgan looked at Grayson, “I don’t think there is a better man out there to take care of our girl and I believe my brother hand picked you from above to take care of Huntley. My wish for you both is a life of happiness and love, the kind that lasts a lifetime. Be good to each other.”
There was a collective “cheers” and “hear hear” from everyone and smiles all round. The moment Sienna stood up, I knew the magic of the night was about to be shot to hell.
“Excuse me, everyone,” Sienna said, earning a few glares from the other guests. “But I have an announcement. Well we have an announcement,” she looked at me and the words that came out of her mouth left me speechless. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion and I could do nothing to stop it. “Brody and I are expecting.”
What.The.Fuck.
The silence in the room was cut short with gasps from all around the table, mine included. Sienna smiled, despite the obvious tension that her announcement had caused, and looked straight at Demi. Her face was pale and utterly crestfallen.
She rose from her chair and walked to where Sienna was sitting. Her hand came up and she slapped Sienna across the face. Hard. Sienna cupped her face, looking surprised. Hell, even I was surprised. Demi wasn’t the type to hit anyone.
“You bitch,” she said. “Are you so desperate for attention that you’d try and ruin my best friends rehearsal dinner? You should be ashamed of yourself!” Her voice cracked and when her eyes fell on me I could see the hurt swirling in their depths. Without another word, she walked past me and Sienna and broke out into a run the closer she got to the door. Huntley followed and I could only watch in embarrassment as it had all unfolded. Grayson glared at me and he looked beyond pissed. I couldn’t blame him. Sienna grabbed my hand and it was the first time I’d looked at her all night. I was such a fucking moron for getting involved with her and now I was tethered to her in the worst way.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” she asked. She’s put her ‘sweet’ mask on for me, but it was too late. I’d already seen the monster she was beneath the façade and I didn’t like it. Grayson flew out of his chair and stomped towards the exit.
“We’ll talk about this later,” I growled at Sienna.
“So typical!” she shrieked, throwing her hands up in the air. Causing a scene was her specialty and it was sickening that she got her kicks out of it. She had no idea how badly she’d just fucked things up. “I just told you we’re pregnant and your response is to run after your poor, pathetic ex-girlfriend!”
I took her arm in my hands and pulled her close enough that she could be the only one to hear me talk. “It’s time for you to leave, Sienna. We’ll talk about this back at the hotel, but right now I need to check on my friends.”
I left her there and walked outside into the warm night. I found Grayson and Huntley standing on the sidewalk but no Demi.
“Where is she?” I asked.
Huntley’s hand came up and connected with my cheek, making my skin sting.
“You asshole!” she yelled between her tears.
“What the hell, Huntley? What did I do?”
“Baby,” Grayson soothed. “Please calm down.”
‘No, Gray, I’ve had enough of all of this. Our night has been ruined because if his,” she pointed at me, “bitch of a girlfriend!”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I had no idea that was going to happen. Now, tell me where I can find Demi, please.”
Huntley shook her head. “No, you’ve done enough. She was fine until you showed up. I love you Brody, and your one of our best friends, but right now I don’t like you. Demi deserved better. She’s been through hell and back again because of you!”
“Huntley,” Grayson warned with a shake of his head, “Don’t.”
They seemed to be having a silent conversation that I clearly wasn’t privy to.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized again. “I know I’ve fucked up real bad, but I need to talk to her Huntley.”
“I’m also sorry, Brody, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. She needs time, and she needs the chance to really get over you. I want you at our wedding tomorrow, but Sienna isn’t welcome and if she shows up I won’t hesitate to have her thrown out.”
I rubbed the back of my neck and looked away feeling contrite.
I started to speak but Grayson cut me off. “Why don’t you go inside, baby?” he said to Huntley. He was worried about her. Even I noticed the change in her behavior. Huntley wasn’t always so verbal about her feelings, let alone her anger towards someone. She nodded and Grayson kissed her forehead before she disappeared inside again.
“Listen, Gray - ”
“No, B
rody, you listen. You are my best friend and God knows I love you like a brother, but enough is enough. I’m going to tell you something and you won’t like it, but I’m the only one will give it to you straight. It has taken almost a Goddamn year for Demi to be anything like herself again. I know I said it isn’t my story to tell, and it isn’t, but you need to understand what it did to her when you left. I hate seeing you two do this to yourselves and each other, and now you’ve got a baby on the way with Sienna. I…” he paused, and rubbed his face with both his hands, “Fuck. I don’t know what to say anymore.”
I sighed and stuck my hands in the pockets of my jeans. “Man, I’ve fucked things up so badly I don’t know which was is up. I don’t know where to go from here.”
“Be honest with yourself for one thing. You know in your heart what the right thing to do is. No one can you fix this, except you.” He patted me on the back. “I’d better get back in there. I’ll catch you later.”
I watched him walk away and allowed his words to sink in. I knew what I had to do. I just needed the courage to do it.
WHEN I ARRIVED back at the hotel, Sienna was sitting on the king size bed waiting for me. I’d decided to walk back and used the time to think about what I had to do.
“I was wondering when you were going to come back,” Sienna said as she sauntered towards me. She was wearing a silk nightgown and was most likely naked underneath. Looking at her now, I asked myself, not for the first time, why I’d gotten involved with someone like her. What attracted me to her?
“I had to apologize for the scene you caused,” I replied quietly, my voice calm. She rolled her eyes and put her hands on my chest. I clutched her wrists to stop her from moving her hands further down. She was trying to seduce me and after her performance at the bakery there was nothing about her that turned me on anymore. “Don’t be so dramatic,” she said. “I thought you’d be happy.”
I started thinking about it and couldn’t understand how she’d gotten pregnant in the first place. We’d never had unprotected sex. I was more than cautious about suiting up when I had sex with her. Demi was the only woman I’d ever not worn protection with and I was determined to keep it that way. Sex with Sienna was just that. Sex. But with Demi it was always more.
Begin Again (Beautiful #2) Page 10
