Just Like Breathing (Bring Me Back Book 1)

by Diana Gardin

  With a tight-lipped smile, I continue. “We’re going to roll out a brand-new product line. It’s going to refresh our brand and not only energize our current customer base, but the line, along with the innovative marketing campaign I plan to put behind it, will rocket us to the top of the younger generation’s list for tech products next year.”

  My business model is solid; I’ve done enough research to know that. And with the stellar marketing team this company has in its corner, my plan won’t fail. I know that, and after I’m done laying out the new line of devices and the accessories that will accompany them, the entire boardroom is eating out of my hands.

  When Manheim draws the meeting to a close, several executives stay behind to shake my hand, and to let me know how excited they are about my idea and to be working with me moving forward.

  Leading Nitro out of the large room afterward, I’m light on my feet. I did what I set out to do; the pride of my accomplishment probably shows in the big-ass grin on my face. The sound of Manheim’s voice speaking in low tones in the hallway doesn’t make me slow, but the response of the person he’s talking to makes my footsteps falter.

  When she speaks to me, her voice dripping with shock, I stop moving altogether. I’m frozen in place by a voice from my past.

  “Flash? What…what are you doing here?”

  Manheim’s voice pipes up after she speaks. “Jackson just presented at our quarterly board meeting. How do you two know each other, Poppy?”

  Poppy. Just the sound of her name brings back a staggering flood of memories, memories I thought were long dead and buried. My hand tightens on Nitro’s harness just as my jaw tenses with the pent-up fury and resentment that still boils somewhere dark and deep inside of me.

  I hear the intake of her breath just before the direction of her voice changes. She must have turned to Manheim. Her tone turns honeyed, sweet. Why didn’t I ever realize before how false her voice sounds when she wants something?

  “Reese, babe…” I imagine her laying one of her small, perfectly manicured hands on his arm to pacify him. “Could I meet you downstairs in a few minutes? I haven’t seen Flash here in so long, and I just want a moment to catch up, and then I’ll be all ready for our lunch.”

  He hesitates, probably looking at me for some kind of explanation. One that I’m sure as hell am not going to give him. Finally, he huffs an exasperated sigh.

  “I’ll see you downstairs. Don’t be long.”

  “Oh no, not more than a few minutes, sweetie.” The sugar in her voice counteracts the manipulation I know all too well is right underneath it.

  When the elevator doors close behind Manheim, I adopt a more relaxed stance, despite the fact that every muscle in my body is tense and coiled, and painfully tight.

  “Flash.” Her voice moves closer. Too fucking close. “It’s so good to see you.”

  My body remains motionless. “Is it?” There’s no inflection in my voice.

  “My God, yes. Flash…you know I was never happy with the way things ended between us. I…I’m sorry. God, you look good.” There’s a hungry sharpness to her last words, something that wasn’t there before.

  I push off the wall and I can sense the fact that she’s standing right in front of me. Ready to sidestep her, I grit my words out. “Thanks. I have no idea how you look, Poppy, but that’s the reason you left me, right?”

  She gasps. “Flash…don’t be like that. I just wasn’t ready. I was so shocked after the accident. I thought our lives were going to turn out one way, and then…I just couldn’t handle it at the time.”

  I snort. “You couldn’t handle it?” I run an agitated hand over my head. “Yeah. You made that perfectly clear when you packed your shit a week after we found out I was never going to see again.”

  She changes tactics. “But look at you, Flash! You’re moving around so well. You’re running board meetings here at the company? I never thought…” She trails away, and I can tell that she’s biting her bottom lip. The way she did so many times in the past.

  She never thought I’d come back swinging as a blind man.

  “Three years, Poppy. Three years and an engagement ring, and all it took for you to toss it all away, was me losing my eyesight. What, you didn’t sign up for hard times?”

  She’s quiet for a moment, and I take that opportunity to command Nitro to get moving. As I make my way past her, she grabs my arm. Her fingers feel like worms wrapped around my skin, and I suddenly make a mental comparison between her and Arden. It’s wrong, but I can’t help it.

  Never, in our three years together, did Poppy lift me up and make me feel like I could soar. The way Arden makes me feel? Even when I’m the man who can’t see, the man who needs accommodations and assistance in almost every aspect of my life…Arden makes me feel like I’m a rock, like I’m someone capable of moving mountains in her life.

  The difference between the two women is staggering, and I’m beyond grateful that Poppy showed her true colors before I went and married her.

  “Let go, Poppy. You said everything you needed to say a long time ago.”

  There are tears in her voice when she answers, but there’s also something else. Determination. “I made a mistake, Flash. That much is clear. Look at you—you’re a force to be reckoned with. You finally decided to take over your parents’ company. I was wrong about everything.” She moves closer, pressing against my arm in the way that used to make me hard. Now, it just makes me pissed. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

  Laughing, with nothing except bitterness in my tone, I yank my arm from her grasp. “I think you have a lunch date. What, did you think Manheim was your next ticket to the top? Wrong, Poppy. He might be the president of the company, but I own it. And I will never again make the mistake of trusting you.”

  Nitro and I make our way to the elevator. Locating the button, I press it and step on, feeling nothing but satisfaction, and a sense of relief, as the doors close behind me.

  19

  Arden

  January 9, 2018

  “A couple of months ago, you told me you were ready.”

  All I can do is stare at the boxes strewn around me as Flash’s voice sinks into my skin, digging deeper into my bones, right before they bury themselves in my heart. The tiny pinpricks of pain each word leaves there is like I’ve taken actual hits to the chest.

  For the past month or so, Flash and I have taken our relationship to…well, to the relationship level. The label hasn’t been spoken between us, but wWe’ve made it clear to those we love and who love us that we’re together, and despite the cautious reservations Brantley’s expressed, everyone seems happy for us. Axel’s become like a big brother to me, and I couldn’t have imagined the reaction my parents had to Flash when they came up from Florida for Christmas. I’ve never seen my dad take so well to a man, even with Trenton. My dad, being a businessman himself for nearly his entire adult life before he retired two years ago, fired question after question to Flash about SJI. My mother had a lot of quiet, private questions about the accident that took Flash’s eyesight, and I could tell her heart was going out to him. She fell for him even faster than I did. It was more than I could have hoped or asked for.

  I thought my heart died that day, the day of the accident. When I woke up and found the most important parts of my life missing, never to return, I honestly felt it shrivel up and was certain there was nothing left but dust inside my chest. I was living, breathing, walking, and talking…but I was dead.

  A corpse walking.

  And then I ran into Flash in the park, and everything changed. He says I helped him, that I took him from an angry, bitter man to someone who stands tall and confident in the man he’s becoming. But the truth?

  The truth is, he saved me from drowning.

  Right now, though, at the words he just spoke, I’m feeling the water filling up inside my lungs once more.

  “I…I know I did.”

  Flash’s voice is gentle, but firm, as his arms wrap arou
nd me from behind. His chin rests on top of my head, a pose that’s always brought nothing but comfort to me. With the warmth of his strong, broad chest against my back, he’s the solid rock wall holding me up.

  When all I want is to collapse.

  “I don’t know, Flash. I thought I could do it…” My voice breaks on the last word.

  “Bunny, you’re the strongest fucking woman I know. You can do this. But this is your decision, not mine. If you aren’t ready, then you aren’t ready. All I have to do is snap my fingers, and these boxes are gone just as fast as they got here. I’m with you, either way, baby.” His arms slide slowly up my own, building me up, filling me with his solid strength.

  But it’s true. I did tell him I was ready for this, the night I nearly broke down. The first night I trusted Flash with all of me. Even my broken pieces.

  I suck in a deep breath and close my eyes. When they’re closed, and I stand really still, blocking out the world around me, I can still hear him.

  Danté.

  My little boy’s voice, full of life and love, as he shrieked with laughter or asked me a question about this world that he just had to know the answer to. My little man, who I couldn’t wait to watch grow and stretch and soar.

  Now he’s soaring in a different way.

  And I need to let him go.

  But how can I do it?

  When I open my eyes, the soft blue walls of the bedroom surround me, and my son is filling up the room.

  A sob escapes me, and Flash is in front of me in an instant, holding my face with his hands. “Arden.”

  He waits until I’m looking at him, and a part of me still wonders how he knows.

  “You’re letting him go in this room.” As his thumbs stroke my cheeks, his voice drops. The emotion there scrapes against my soul, like he’s feeling what I’m feeling “But it doesn’t mean you’re letting him go in there.” He drops one palm, pressing it to my chest. Over my heart.

  His soft touch grazes the wetness on my cheeks, and his forehead presses against mine. “I’m right here, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

  He said those words to me, months ago. I believed him then.

  I believe him now.

  And so, piece by loving, painful piece, we work together to dismantle my son’s room. I place the things I want to keep forever in one special box, and I let Flash flag the rest for charity. This room, the room I spent so much time in with my boy, was full of love, but it’s also full of things another little boy can use, and I don’t want that to go to waste. I share stories and tidbits from Danté’s short little life with Flash as we round the room, and by the time I’m finished, I feel wrung out, emotionally drained. My legs are shaking, my face is soaked with my tears, and when I look at Flash, I can see the pools shining in his own eyes.

  But this…I did this. I was able to take this step; do this big, unimaginable thing.

  Because of Flash.

  God…this man. Every single day, he finds another piece of my heart and stitches it back up tight. It’s always going to be scarred…but I can feel the healing happening just as surely as a tulip feels the sun.

  If I’m not careful, he could mend it. And if he does?

  That heart, the one that started beating again when we met, will completely belong to him.

  Much later, after the boxes are full and a delivery company hired by Flash has picked them up, along with the furniture to be donated, we leave my house. Staying there, knowing that the room where my son used to sleep is now empty…I can’t stay.

  Not tonight.

  Flash’s driver, Brooks, takes us back to Flash’s house. I lay in the security of Flash’s chest. He’s propped against the headboard of his bed, his arms encircling me, like a protective barrier against the exhaustion and emotion of the day. Both weigh me down, but there’s also a distinct sense of freedom that comes with letting go; something I didn’t expect. A sigh escapes me, and the quiet rumble of Flash’s voice flows into the dimness of his bedroom.

  “You okay, Bunny?”

  I think about it, really considering.

  Am I okay?

  At one point, I thought the answer to that question would always be no. As I settle into his chest, though, I finally nod.

  “I think so, Flash.” Turning my body so that I’m looking up into his beautiful, strong face, I place a hand on his stubble-rough jaw. “Thank you. For everything. I don’t think I could have taken this step today without you.”

  He grabs my hand and turns it palm up, kissing the skin there. “You don’t ever have to thank me for taking care of you. God, sweetheart…it comes as naturally as breathing.” His voice goes low, thick. “What are you doing to me?”

  Turning fully into him, I straddle his lap, my thighs squeezing against the hard muscles of his through our jeans. My fingers delve into his hair as I eye him, my thumb stroking against his jaw. “I don’t know, Flash. What am I doing to you?”

  He moves me, flipping us so that he’s hovering above me. His body, strong and hard and capable, covers mine while his hands frame my face. He searches my expression with eyes that don’t see it, and somehow, his gaze penetrates me so deep it’s like he can see straight through to my soul.

  I don’t know how long we stay there, staring at one another, but when he sighs, it rattles him completely through. His lips brush mine, but it’s not a kiss. Heat and warmth radiate from him, into the battered, cold parts of me.

  “You’ve been through so much,” he whispers. “Honestly, Arden…it’s everything I didn’t want. I thought there was no way I could handle your pain. But what you did today, being there with you while you did the single most difficult thing you’ve ever done…it changed me.”

  I stop breathing.

  “You’re ruining me,” Flash murmurs against my mouth as his hand smooths down my side. “You’re fucking destroying me, Arden.”

  I kiss him. I swallow any other words he might have said, capturing his mouth with mine as my fingers lose themselves in his hair. He groans, every inch of him growing hard against me as he meets my kiss with one of his own.

  I reach for the hem of his shirt, because I want to feel more of him.

  I need to feel more of him. Tonight, I need something good.

  He goes still, his mouth leaving mine. His head drops to rest on my shoulder, his words tickling my ear. “What are you doing?”

  I pull his shirt up and over his head and toss it to the floor. “Undressing you.”

  He’s silent while he evaluates me. I wait.

  “We don’t have to do this tonight, Arden.”

  And that’s the moment I realize how much danger I’m in. My heart surges, beating with a frantic need I know better than to want. I can’t allow myself to release my heart to this man, because losing it to him makes me vulnerable to the kind of loss that nearly killed me before.

  I don’t say a word as I push him aside and sit up. Standing beside the bed, I watch him as he waits, leaning back on his elbows. He’s so beautiful, stretched out on his bed in his jeans while the bare planes of his chest and stomach are on display.

  I undress completely before climbing back onto the bed with him. His hands slide over my bare hips as he catches me, and his breath hitches, his hands roaming over me. “Arden. Are you—”

  I cut off his words by sealing my mouth over his, my hands moving to the button of his jeans. I slide them off his body, along with his underwear, baring him to me.

  In a moment, we’re flipped over again, his lips at my throat as his fingers find the slick wetness between my thighs. I gasp, my hips rising to meet him.

  “Please, Flash,” I rasp. “I need you.”

  His answer is the most perfect thing I’ve heard in so long. “I’ll always be here when you need me.”

  And that voice, the one that tells me this is something dangerously like love? I silence it while I lose myself in the man who made me feel again.

  20

  Flash

  January 10, 2018
r />   Something wakes me.

  Slowly, I become aware through the groggy haze of sleep, and I lift my left wrist to my ear and reach to press the button that will tell me the time. When I realize my right hand is all wrapped up in something soft and warm, a smile tugs at my lips and my heart thuds deep inside my chest.

  Lowering my watch so that I can press the button around Arden’s slender, soft form, I raise it back to my ear in time to learn it’s still a few hours before dawn.

  Pausing, I listen, my ears straining for any sound that would have woke me.

  Then I go still, my body tensing as the round curve of Arden’s ass presses back against me.

  My cock is instantly hard and nudging her, and a soft, breathy moan rasps into the air around me. My world might be dark, but the sound of her voice, especially now that I know what it’s like when she’s aroused, is like a beacon in a damn harbor.

  It calls out to me, and I’d find her, even through a motherfucking hurricane.

  My hand slides up from her flat belly to palm her lush breast, and I find her nipple peaked and hard. Like she’s waiting for me.

  I still don’t know whether she’s asleep or awake, but I know one thing for damn sure. My girl—and yeah, that’s what she is now, whether we’ve had the conversation or not—is needy, and I’m here to fix that anytime it’s a problem.

  I tweak her nipple, rolling it between my fingers, and she pushes back against me again, harder. Her voice, that sexy, throaty tone I tried to resist at first, covers me in silk, and my blood pulses in my ears. There’s nothing but her, and that should scare me, especially since I’ve become hyper-aware of my surroundings and my surviving senses. But I’m too far gone for this woman to be worried.

  “Yes, Flash, mmm.” Her words are a sleep-filled murmur, and I realize she really is only half-awake, if that.

  I can change that. I’m a fixer, and right now? I’m going to make sure every need she has is met.