Just Like Breathing (Bring Me Back Book 1)

by Diana Gardin

  I nod, giving him permission to pull the Head of Marketing over.

  After explaining to Mandy that I need her to preside over the end of the launch event, to which she readily agrees, Axel and I climb into his SUV and head toward Arden’s neighborhood. It doesn’t take more than fifteen minutes to get there at this time of night, but my fingers drum against the dashboard the entire time Axel drives. I can’t shake the feeling that I never should have let Arden walk away from me, and the longer I go without being around her, the more wound up I become. When Axel’s car slows, my hand lands on the door handle.

  His hand on my chest makes me pause. “Her car’s not here, man. And the place is completely dark. Any chance she wouldn’t have gone home?”

  Not home? Fuck. “Where is she?” I mutter, agitated fingers smoothing over my hair. “The studio. If she’s not at home, she’s at the studio. Let’s go there.”

  The big engine rumbles as Axel pulls away and we make our way back to the historic downtown. This time, he pulls to a stop in a spot at the curb in front of The Art Of Java. I’m already standing on the curb beside my car door, shifting impatiently from foot to foot when Axel joins me at my side. Someone bumps my shoulder as we head for the front door to the shop, setting me off-balance, but it takes me less than a second to right my senses.

  “Watch it.” A gruff voice growls the words as the offender continues walking, and I feel Axel stiffen next to me.

  “Don’t,” I order him.

  “Some asshole suit,” he mutters, the anger barely concealed by the grit of his teeth.

  “We look like asshole suits right now.” I point out the obvious, pausing when we reach the shop door.

  “Lights are on in back.” My brother’s observation makes every muscle inside me twitch with the desire to already be standing in front of Arden.

  Not for the first time tonight, I wish I’d brought Nitro with me. I don’t want to have to depend on Axel. Not for this.

  Pulling to a halt, I tip my head toward Axel. “Do you still have a cane in the back of your car?”

  “Yeah. Want me to get it?” The shock is evident in his tone.

  I nod, and the disturbance in the air around me signals his disappearance.

  I don’t take my attention away from the door in front of me while I hear the sound of Axel’s car unlocking behind. It’s like there’s a chance if I stare hard enough, the pure blackness I see will disappear and Arden will be standing in front of me. But no matter how long I keep my gaze locked, all I see is black.

  When my brother is beside me again, he places the cane in my palm and wraps my fingers around it. He drives my hand, touching the ground and the door directly in front of me. Finally, he steps back.

  “Want me to wait here?”

  I open the shop door with my left hand and lift my chin in response to Axel before passing through the threshold and letting the door swing shut behind me. I stand there, completely still, the way I’ve learned when I need my other senses to work overtime.

  A soft noise drifts up from the back of the shop. Bunny? I open my mouth to call out to her when another sound roots me to the spot.

  A sniffle.

  A shudder rolls through me as pain fills my chest. When her quiet sob hits my ears, awareness as sharp as blades slice through my consciousness, and I’m moving before I realize it.

  I round the side of the counter, moving faster than I should be without sight but not giving two fucks about it. When I reach the room where I know Arden hasn’t worked on her sculptures in a very long time, I pause.

  The room is filled with the sound of her crying, and I know she hasn’t noticed me standing there yet because there’s no change in the noises she makes. I listen for a few seconds, my head tipped to one side. I did this to her. Fucking hell, she’s crying because of me.

  Then something taps my subconscious, making me listen harder. Her sobs don’t sound sad, they sound…afraid.

  “Arden?” My voice leaks out like the crack of a whip, when I intended it to be gentle.

  She gasps, and I move further into the room. When I reach the place I know she sits, the stool in front of the sculpting wheel she showed me once months ago, I drop to a squat in front of her. Placing my cane down beside me, my hands land on her sequin-clad thighs.

  “Baby.” I hide the broken, gutted sound of my own voice. Instead, it comes out strong, steady. For her. “What’s wrong?”

  She sniffs, sucking in a breath I can feel roll through her whole body. “I—what are you doing here, Flash?”

  She tries to hide the relief in her tone, but I can hear it. “I needed to see you. There’s nowhere else I could have been tonight, Bunny. You…this thing between us? It’s everything.”

  There’s a moment of hesitation before her hands land on either side of my face. She leans down, her breath on my face as welcome as the sunlight would be to my vision. “I’m glad you came. I’m… God, Flash. I’m sorry about the way I left you earlier.”

  Shaking my head, I swallow. When I find my voice, it’s thick with emotion. “Don’t be sorry, baby. You have nothing to apologize for. I should have told you. It’s that simple. I fucked up, but I swear to you, I won’t do it again.”

  She tugs me up until I’m standing, her soft, slender frame flush against me. I cup her face, my fingers diving into her hair, before I dip my head and take her mouth. She’s sweetness and sin at the same time, and all I want to do is drink her in. My hands slide down her body as my tongue drives into her mouth. Her taste is like a drug for me…the more I have it, the more I have to have it. A tiny moan escapes her, and I swallow it as her hands smooth out against my shoulders.

  I hitch up her dress, the silky fabric flowing through my fingers like water. Sliding my palms over the thong I wanted to rip off her earlier, my fingers grip her flesh. My mind races with nothing but thoughts of her, flashes of the way my mind’s eye sees her. Sexy, innocent, beautiful, mine.

  This woman is mine, and nothing’s going to change that.

  “Flash,” she whispers, as she presses her breasts against me and her fingers tighten on my shoulders. “I need you. Right now. Show me that…that I’m not going to lose you.”

  The raw vulnerability in her voice almost levels me. Every part of me clenches tight with emotion, but I brush my lips gently against the shell of her ear before I whisper, “You want me to fuck you, Arden? Here?”

  She nods, a gasp falling from her mouth.

  “Say the words.” My voice is nothing but a growl as I reach for the zipper on my dress slacks.

  “Fuck me, Flash. Please.”

  Those words on my girl’s sweet lips break something inside of me. Something I’ve tried my best to keep caged. But every time I’m with Arden like this, every time she so willingly accepts every part of who I am, and every time I hear her sexy little noises and feel the way she presses that body against mine, that beast claws its way a little closer to the cage door.

  Whipping her around, I press my hand down on her bare back until she’s leaning over her sculpting wheel. The panties stretch to their limit as I give a sharp tug, then they’re nothing but two scraps of fabric in my fingers that I toss to the floor. My pants and boxer-briefs drop to puddle around my feet as I fist myself in one hand and grab her around the waist with the other.

  When I rub the tip of my cock against the seam of her ass, she pushes back against me. When I slip two fingers inside her wet pussy and then swirl them around that swollen little clit, she moans my name. And when I enter her in one hard, quick thrust, she cries out.

  That’s all it takes to unleash the beast.

  I pound into her, again and again. Filling her up and taking it away, only to fill her up all over again. I honor her request, making sure she knows that she has this, has me, for as long as she wants it. She thinks she’s the only one afraid of losing this?

  Fuck. The idea of anything happening to take Arden away from me, especially my own mistakes, scares the living shit out of me.
My body quakes with everything I feel for her as I show her exactly what having her means to me.

  When I feel my balls draw up tight with the impending eruption, I pinch her clit between two fingers and drop my forehead to her back as she screams.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  With a roar, I empty everything inside of me inside of her in answer to the orgasm that clenches her pussy around my cock. I squeeze my eyes shut and watch as stars explode in a darkness that’s just a little bit more light than usual.

  We lay there for a minute, panting, as we both come down and our heartbeats slow. When I slide free of her, pulling up my pants and allowing her dress to slide back down over her perfect hips, I cage her against the pottery wheel with my arms and kiss the back of her neck, her shoulder, her ear. Brushing her now-falling hair to one side, I whisper words I feel deep in my soul.

  “I love you, Arden Fontaine. And leaving you will never be an option.”

  It’s only hours later, in the warmth of my bed, that I remember the awareness that prickled me back at the studio.

  “Baby,” I murmur into the soft skin of her shoulder.

  She wiggles, pressing her round ass against me, and I bite back a groan. “Mmm?”

  Ignoring the fact that my cock is twitching with interest, I stay focused on the question at hand. “Earlier, when you were crying? You weren’t sad. You were scared.”

  She freezes. Even her breathing stops.

  The usual sounds in constant rotation around me disappear, leaving nothing in my focus but her. I suck in my own breath and hold it, waiting for her next words. Trying my best to keep my rage at bay. Because whoever scared her that way? Enough to make her cry? Enough to feel like she needed to hold it in?

  That person is going to fucking pay.

  Her voice quivers around the words. “I have to tell you something.”

  26

  Arden

  Lying here in the dark with Flash’s arms around me, safety blankets me like a snug cocoon. It gives me the ability to glance back into those few dark moments where fear snakes around my body, wrapping me up tight and paralyzed. I’m one of the lucky people who has never in my life felt physically threatened or fearful of another person. I’ve had my share of struggles in this life, but that particular brand of fear and helplessness hasn’t been one of them.

  Earlier tonight, that changed.

  “After I left SJI, a driver took me home. Only I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and being at home alone with my thoughts sounded unbearable. I couldn’t get Brantley on the phone, and I know she’s dealing with some things of her own right now. So, I went to the only other safe place I knew. I went to the studio.”

  His arms draw me closer, the strong vise I’ve come to depend on, despite the carefully placed walls my pain built around my heart. His silence isn’t the uncomfortable kind; it’s the kind that encourages me to continue with my story.

  “I didn’t even realize it when I started the wheel. I was just starting to shape my clay…” My voice breaks.

  Flash turns me to face him, his big hand sliding to the back of my head as his forehead rests against mine. It’s how he likes for me to tell him my stories, I’ve noticed; when we share breath and our bodies are touching from head to toe. He says he can see me better that way, which just makes me want to touch him all the time.

  “The front door to the shop opened, and I called out to let them know I was closed. I…I forgot to lock the door. I was distracted, so what happened next was my own fault.” I swallow down the fear trying to fill me back up, take over me the way it did earlier tonight.

  Flash’s voice is low when he finally speaks. “Bunny, you need to tell me what happened.” It’s like he can sense the direction my story is taking. Anxiety and dread drift from him in big vibrations that threaten to engulf us both.

  Instantly, I want to reassure him. “He didn’t hurt me.”

  Flash’s muscles twitch, and his voice takes on a dangerous edge. “Who didn’t hurt you?”

  The breath I expel ricochets between us. “It was Reese Manheim. He came to the back before I could make it out to the shop.”

  Every muscle in Flash’s body goes rock-hard. “What the fuck? What did he want?”

  I close my eyes, remembering. Recalling the ugly words, the hateful way Manheim spoke about Flash. The wild, cornered look he had in his eyes, like he was terrified everything he wanted was about to be taken away from him.

  “He’s scared, Flash. Really scared. He…he threatened me.”

  Flash rears back from me, his hands gentle on the sides of my face even as his words turn to a feral growl. “He threatened you? I’ll fucking kill him.”

  I shake my head, following Flash as he sits up on the bed. His hands move to his hair and he starts to stand.

  I launch myself onto his lap, straddling him so that he won’t go anywhere. It works, holding him hostage on the bed with my body. His chest rises and falls rapidly with his shallow breaths, but he stays with me.

  “He told me that I needed to do whatever it took to make sure you took a step back from the company. And he told me that if I didn’t, he’d have to hurt you to make sure you did. He said he was on track to run the place, that he had plans to buy you out and become owner and CEO of SJI. He was ranting, raving, and it scared me, Flash. I think he’s really unbalanced, and he thinks you’re the root of all his problems.”

  I swallow the rest of the words that want to tumble out, clamping my mouth shut and watching Flash for any sign that he’ll rush off to exact revenge on Manheim tonight.

  He takes few more breaths, then tips his head to the side, the way he does when he’s evaluating someone. “What aren’t you saying, Bunny?”

  I hesitate, pulling the corner of my bottom lip between my teeth, but he grasps my chin in his hand. “I need to know everything. Tell me.”

  My voice falls to a whisper, but I don’t look away from the searching expression on Flash’s face. I never feel the need to hide from this man. “He said that if you weren’t already fucking Poppy again, you would be soon. He said it was up to me to stop that from happening.”

  Fury, mixed with revulsion, fills me at the picture Manheim put in my head when he said those things. I knew then and there it wasn’t true; that Manheim was jealous and crazy, and that he’d do or say anything to get Flash out of SJI. Feelings of stupidity and guilt flogged me, making me ashamed of the fact that I’d walked away from Flash at all.

  Flash promptly lifts me off his lap before climbing out of bed and striding to the wall on the opposite side of the room. Then he slams his palm flat against it.

  “Son of a motherfucking bitch!” His roar fills my ears, the room, the entire house.

  But it doesn’t fill me with fear. He slaps his palm against the wall again, and I’m off the bed and crossing the room to him before I have another thought.

  Sliding my arms around his big, powerful body, I lay my cheek against the bare skin of his back. Muscles roll and tighten under me, and he shudders as a heavy breath rolls through him.

  “He can’t hurt us,” I murmur, before pressing my lips to his skin.

  Flash turns around, wrapping his arms around me. The moonlight streaming in through the window beside us allows me to see the stark expression of fury on his face. It’s not just anger I see…it’s mixed with a fear and devastation so acute I feel it in my bones.

  “He can hurt you,” he murmurs. “The fact that he even got to you, that he was there with you alone…God, Bunny. It’s making me crazy, can’t you see that? You’re everything to me now.”

  His hands frame my face, his thumbs crushing against my cheeks. His expression is so raw, so open, it doesn’t even matter that he’s not seeing me. He’s feeling every single part of me, the same way I can feel him, and I know what he’s going to say before the words even cross his lips.

  “I love you.” The words drift between us like a promise, like a dream, like everything I need.

  My eyes mist
, and one tear drives a lonely trail down my cheek. When it meets Flash’s hand, he brushes it away before kissing the spot where it began. “God…I love you too, Flash. So much.”

  His lips form his beautiful smile, and my heart beats an erratic rhythm for him.

  “I will handle Manheim,” he promises. “And you and I? We’re going to start this life together. Are you with me, baby?”

  I smile through the tears, swallowing the lump of emotion that formed in my throat when he told me he loved me.

  This man.

  “I’m with you.”

  27

  Flash

  February 8, 2018

  “Flash Jackson!”

  A hand lands on my back, signaling me to reach out and bro-hug my old friend, Matt Douglas. When we pull apart, Matt aims Nitro and I toward the chair across from his desk in his office at the Savannah Police Department.

  “What brings you by, man? It’s been a minute.” Matt’s voice carries a whole lot of warmth and just a little curiosity.

  I nod, one hand reaching down to pat Nitro’s head where he sits beside me. “Yeah, it has.”

  “I was sorry to hear about the accident, Flash. It’s a son of a bitch when we make it back from over there, only for something like that to happen right here at home.” There’s sympathy in Matt’s voice, but not pity. Having served in the same squadron, once upon a time, Matt knows better than anyone that shit happens. And when it happens, you’re thankful that you’re still alive, even if there are pieces of you missing.

  Because not everyone makes it home alive.

  After Arden fell asleep last night, I lay awake with the soft warmth of her in my arms, staring at nothing. Thinking. When I remembered that I had a friend in the SPD, a plan formed in my head about exactly what I’d do to start bringing Reese Manheim’s world crashing down around him.